Another season of Little Women: LA over, another random woman on the reunion couch reliving the details of hooking up with resident sleezeball, Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer]. At this point, it’s almost like the rancid cherry on top of each season’s finale – and the grotesque segue into Briana Renee and Matt’s subsequent Lifetime spinoff. As Matt’s Alaska hookup, Stephania, joins Kevin Frazier and the cast to tell “her side of the story,” Briana fights back – and Matt pathetically cries. And – ugh!!! It’s just too much! Haven’t we suffered enough? No more of this totally depressing marriage, please.
Part two picks up with Stephania joining the group. She explains meeting “sad, lonely” Matt after getting off of her shift, then listening to his tale of woe at the bar. Her assessment: His wife was to blame for his troubles, and also for the kiss that happened afterward! Briana apparently came down to the bar to yell at them, which fueled Matt’s fire and justified his reasons for being a sh*tty tortured husband. Stephania insipidly excuses her own actions, claiming she just wanted to understand this troubled man better! So she pulled him into a no-camera zone (employee workspace), let him kiss her after he walked her home (which he claims to have apologized for), then bid him goodnight. Yeah, right.
Matt defends that NOTHING beyond kissing happened, although Kevin (along with the rest of America) side eyes him about that statement. Also disgusting is how Stephania attacks Briana about being “crazy” and a bad wife. This woman, who knew Matt for a total of three hours, sure has a lot of opinions.
She doesn’t feel she owes Briana an apology either. “You’re the reason any of that happened,” snarks Stephania, turning the women’s movement back about 100 years. What a piece of crap this woman is. Hey – Maybe Matt and Steph should get together after all, thereby taking each other off the market permanently? Like containing a virus?
Even more pathetic is how vehemently Briana feels she has to defend herself (for Matt’s actions). Kevin agrees. In the end, Elena Gant has the only pertinent question on the table: “Did you use a condom?” Matt repeats his I-Did-Not-Have-Sexual-Relations-With-That-Woman speech, which, frankly, no one really cares to hear again. Then he pretends to cry.
Tonya Banks is also not having this trifling Stephania sh*t either – she needs this random chick to apologize to Briana. (Also, can we have Matt ejected straight up off of the couch, cartoon-style, right about now? I need to be done with this dirtbag.) Stephania will not be apologizing to Briana, Matt, her own husband (SHE’S MARRIED TOO!?!?) – or her “boyfriend.” Oh. My. God. Time to go home, random lady who wants TV time! Buh-bye.
Terra and Tonya then turn their attention to Briana, reiterating that she’ll just never leave her gross husband, even if he cheated on her right in front of her delusional eyes. “I wish the best for them in their open marriage!” snarks Terra.
After that hot mess ends, Kevin turns his attention to the cast’s babies, who all burst on to the scene at once, it seemed! The conversation about whose children have dwarfism and whose do not – and the impact it has on each family – is a hot button issue. Elena’s gotten used to having children who have varied needs, but Terra is still holding out on having her son tested. Penny is doing well though, and they’re just “taking it day by day.” As for Maverick (Briana’s son), he’s crawling and making progress, despite his struggles. Kevin compliments all of the mothers on their strength, which is shown in the love they have for their children.
Hope you enjoyed that sweet little segment – because back to the drama we go! It’s time to dive back in to the rift between Terra and Elena, who epically butted heads over Terra’s enormous ego. In a momentary sidetrack, Kevin first asks Jasmine how transitioning to stay at home mom life is working out. It’s a huge adjustment for her being a solo-parent, as Chris‘ schedule leaves her alone much of the time, but she’s proud of the independence she’s gained as well.
As for Elena supposedly dogging “working moms,” she counters that she’s not. She wants mothers to achieve their professional dreams. But in Terra’s case – especially when it came to Dancing With The Stars – it seemed like her priorities were skewed. Terra defends that she always puts her family first, and everything she does is, in the end, to better their situation. “I strike when the iron is hot!” says Terra.
Terra’s drive in business may have cost her some friendships, though, and definitely cost her the role of godparent to Elena’s twin boys. When Terra found out that Jasmine and Chris were selected instead of Joe and her, she went ballistic (of course), but she says it was the way in which she found out rather than the news itself that rattled her. Terra does regret her juvenile behavior at the baptism, and Elena even admits she ambushed Terra with the information there to hurt her. Their friendship went deeper than that, says Terra, who wonders how Elena could turn on her so quickly? Elena stands by her godparent decision, however, reiterating that Jasmine is the best choice. She trusts her more to “be there” in good times and bad, period.
This statement brings out the beast in Terra – which is not hard to awaken! – causing her to stand up and scream about being treated like “dog sh*t!” Elena again apologizes for keeping her out of the godparent loop, admitting her part in hurting her. But Terra is still upset about their current relationship, which has deteriorated further since the baptism (for a million different reasons).
After Kevin plays peacemaker, he quickly pivots to Tonya’s storyline next. Will she and Kerwin actually get married? Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, joins the cast to discuss her reservations about her parents getting hitched. It comes down to this: Angelique thinks her parents are rushing things. They’ve been on and off again for years, still have petty arguments and some deeper issues that need to be resolved. Also, Angelique hasn’t seen her mom commit to anyone, ever – so this all feels new and awkward for her.
Kerwin thinks it is the right time to get married, although Tonya is still scared. She needs Kerwin to “bring something to the table,” and feels like he isn’t driven like she is. Also, she thinks Kerwin still doesn’t trust her. And his comments about not wanting to “be the b*tch of the relationship” for doing minor tasks like cooking aren’t winning him any awards in the potential life partner department. As Tonya and Kerwin bicker about their issues, Angelique reiterates that THIS is what she’s talking about. Kerwin then snipes that maybe he’ll just take the ring back! So, these two are obviously doomed. Mazel!
Next, we see the return of Mary, who’s traveled all the way from London to fight with these women. And she kind of deserves a moment to do just that, given the awful treatment she was subjected to, especially from Elena. In general, Mary claims that little people are “quite b*tchy” toward one another, and these women are no exception. But is Elena feeling contrite for her behavior now that she’s had time to reflect? Nope! She still thinks Mary is a fraud with a huge ego, and doesn’t have any interest in being friends with this chick.
To prove Mary’s b*tchiness point, she and Elena get into a full-on shouting match over Elena’s bad intentions at her fashion show prep meeting. Mary thinks Elena should have come in with better intentions, but Elena bottom lines it for her: “No, Mary, you don’t get to tell me what the f–k to do!” Um, okaaaay. So, these two obviously need to be separated by an ocean. Forever.
But wait! After Mary tears up, explaining how she can’t stand the way these women rip each other apart, Elena says she actually is sorry for the messy way she acted. In the end, she really doesn’t want to have any long term beef with Mary. Mary seems to hear Elena’s words (which do seem heartfelt), until Terra jumps in to comment that she wouldn’t believe anything coming from Elena’s mouth at this point! “Go f–k yourself, Terra,” flatly responds Elena, who is simply not mincing words at this reunion. Bam.
Ah, it’s the topic we’ve all been waiting for: Briana’s B.O. And I have to say once more, I simply cannot BELIEVE this issue was put on blast. It’s just gutter level stuff (which I guess we should expect that this point), and truly embarrassing for Briana, who’s even had strangers on the street come up to offer her a bar of soap since these issued aired. (Ouch!) Terra yells that Briana shouldn’t be embarrassed about her stink; she should be embarrassed about her husband! Maybe so, but this topic seems below the belt – even for this epic sh*tshow. Kevin agrees, reminding Terra that cutting people down at this level is just plain wrong.
After Mary is dismissed, Kevin wraps the reunion by asking the ladies what’s next for each of them. Christy is working on getting her voice back, Briana is working on her horrific marriage, and Tonya is expanding her activewear line (and venturing into therapy – which she and Kerwin definitely need). Jasmine is simply navigating her new home life, while Terra and Joe work on home renovations. Elena would love to have another child – if she can get Preston on board, that is!
On a final note, Elena says she and Terra will never get their friendship back to where it was. (Although, recent pics of them celebrating Elena’s birthday in Vegas prove otherwise!) In the end, there’s “show drama” and real drama. Something tells me that Terra and Elena will be just fine in real life – although they’ll probably heat their cold war up again by the time season seven rolls around.
TELL US: WILL YOU BE TUNING IN TO MATT & BRIANA’S “COUPLES THERAPY” SPINOFF? DO YOU BELIEVE STEPHANIA’S SIDE OF THE STORY? WILL TONYA AND KERWIN GET MARRIED? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF SEASON SIX, OVERALL?
Photo Credit: Lifetime
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