If Jen Saviano has any hard feelings about Nick Viall turning Bachelor, she didn't let them show on tonight's After Paradise finale. "I'm good. I'm doing good,"...
Oops! Double check that VIN number next time – Dlisted
It’s still bizarre that these 30-something year old women are fighting with teenagers – Celebitchy
Teen Mom 2’s Vee launched her own YouTube channel – Starcasm
What’s your take on this whole “take a knee” thing during the national anthem? – Celebitchy
Shia LaBeouf got his shit together – Dlisted
Photo Credit: IPA/Wenn.com
The post Link Love – September 6th appeared first on Reality Tea.
Congratulations to two crazy kids! Carly Waddell said yes to Evan Bass during tonight's Bachelor in Paradise finale, and while it was cute as could be, it's really just the...
Jules Wainstein is leaving The Real Housewives of New York City after just one season, E! News has learned exclusively. The 35-year-old pal of Dorinda Medley joined RHONY's eighth...
The end has arrived. It's time to pack up the bikinis and head home for the winter, but at least there's a nice handful of folks who won't be heading home alone. Three...
"There are rules," Negan informs us ominously in the latest trailer for The Walking Dead season seven. "You earn what you take. You should know this is the only way," he threatens...The Real Housewives of Orange County star Vicki Gunvalson gets candid about Shannon Beador’s excuse for missing the Glamis trip (and calls BS on it), doesn’t hold back her thoughts on Meghan Edmonds not coming to the hospital and so much more.
Vicki wasn’t totally excited about going to Glamis when Tamra mentioned it and for good reason! “When I heard that Tamra wanted to go to Glamis and asked me to go with the ladies, I was ok with it, but really wasn’t something that was on my bucket list of things to do. I had a few friends that really liked going out there, but I had always heard it was really dangerous which made me a little apprehensive.”
Even Vicki’s son Mike wasn’t interested in going because of the danger involved. “I had asked my son Mike if he wanted to join me because I didn’t want to go by myself and he said, “Mom, haven’t you heard how many people get hurt and die out there?” He had no desire to go, so I just decided to go by myself. I wasn’t super excited about it, but really felt it would be good for me to bond with the ladies so that was my incentive to go.”
She understood why Meghan wasn’t coming, but calls BS on Shannon’s health reasoning. “In regards to Shannon, I figured she’d find a way to get out of going and I was right. I call “BS” on her pulmonary doctor saying he didn’t want her to go.” Although Vicki is glad she didn’t because it would’ve “put a huge damper on the trip.”
Vicki shared that they were all very blessed to have survived the flip. “When I watched it along just like all of you did, I realized there were so many things that I was unaware of that were happening because I was so “out of it”. I don’t know how Kelly didn’t get more hurt than me when her helmet flew off the way it did. We are so fortunate, so blessed and so grateful it wasn’t worse than it was. Kelly and I both were talking about how claustrophobic we were in those big helmets and we both were really uncomfortable in them. We loosened out straps to make it not so tight around the chin, but they were still strapped on. I have no idea how Kelly’s helmet was thrown off her head without her being injured. She definitely had an angel watching over her.”
Vicki adds, “There were times when we were on the dunes that were really fun, but I never truly had a sense of calmness. There were so many ATVs going so many different directions and my fear was that we would get in an accident by hitting one, not rolling. Rolling over never crossed my mind even though I have heard it has happened to many people.”
She says the hills were gorgeous but scary, “When Tamra told us she was going to another area of the dunes called the “bowls”, I had no idea what that meant. When we went over the top of the dune all I could see was huge hills for miles and miles. It was beautiful for a moment, but it also looked very scary.”
Vicki, Tamra, Heather and Kelly all believe they had Jesus on their side that day, “When we went over the top of the dune, it appears that the wheels hit the sand dune side ways and then ended up rolling over and down the hill. I just remember sand flying in my face, loud crunching of metal and all of us screaming and then I had immediate pain in my back and neck. I felt it was happening in slow motion, and thought we were never going to stop rolling. Carrie Underwood sings a beautiful song “Jesus, Take the Wheel” and Tamra and all of us think JESUS actually did take the wheel and protected us so we were not more severely injured. Whenever I hear that song now, I think of the accident and how fortunate and blessed that none of us died. Looking back now almost four months later, it was THE scariest time in my life.”
It’s pretty freaky how little Vicki remembers about the aftermath of the accident. “When I watched this episode, I do not remember going into the helicopter, I don’t remember getting the IV morphine drip, I don’t remember asking how badly injured Tamra was and I don’t remember Heather and Kelly watching over me the way that they did. I believe the four of us have a forever bond because of this near death experience and realize at any moment in time one of us can be taken from another. I am grateful for my friends and realize how much they all mean to me. Although I was alone heading to the hospital in the helicopter, I knew they were there in spirit.”
RELATED: TAMRA IS THANKFUL TO BE ALIVE
She is grateful to her co-stars, but Vicki slams Meghan for not bother to come and see her at the hospital, to make sure she was okay. “Watching Meghan and Jimmy get the phone call about the accident was sad for me. I was shocked that they didn’t get in their car and head over to the hospital to be with me. I guess this is where people’s true colors show, it’s what happens when no one is looking. It’s called compassion. It’s called doing the right thing, being there for someone in need. I have known Jim and Meghan now for almost two years, and Meghan’s choice of not going to be with me because we weren’t “friends” was shocking. I don’t care if we are “friends or not”, we are acquaintances and we spend a lot of time together and for them to make the decision not to be there for me was selfish. I had no one there for me when I got to the hospital. It was a 45 minute helicopter ride until I got to the hospital. I was scared that I was paralyzed or had permanent neck damage. My neck and back hurt so bad, it was frightening. The medics cut my clothes off me. I had no shoes, no purse and no one with me. I have thought long and hard on this since the accident and if that happened to any one of my “friends” regardless how close we are at the time, I’d be on my way there to be with them. I am in shock at the choices some of these women make in the time of a crisis. It’s integrity, it’s the character of the person. When I got to the hospital, Briana had already spoken to the nurse and they informed her I was arriving by helicopter. My daughter was at home not feeling well herself and she was willing to get in the car with her two babies and drive two hours to be with me. After several CT and MRI scans, I was released about nine hours later and diagnosed with severe concussion and neck injury. I had to take a car service home from the hospital all by myself, late at night with no shoes, no purse and nothing on but hospital scrubs and hospital socks. Not exactly what I had expected when my friends were so close by.”
She ends her blog saying we’ll see just how Shannon handles the situation on next week’s episode. “Tune in next week to see how Shannon decides to handle the situation. For this week, I thank God for protecting all of us and for being our protector in this horrible accident. I am thankful and grateful.”
TELL US – IS MEGHAN A CRAP FRIEND FOR NOT RUSHING TO THE HOSPITAL TO BE SURE VICKI WAS OKAY? DO YOU THINK SHANNON WAS EXAGGERATING HER HEALTH ISSUE?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Vicki Gunvalson Slams Meghan Edmonds; Reflects On Scary Crash That Has Bonded The RHOC Co-Stars For Life appeared first on Reality Tea.
If you're not planning on tuning in to Queen Sugar when it premieres on OWN, you're making a big mistake. But don't take our word for it. Allow the Queen of All Media, Oprah Winfrey...
Already missing Taran Killam and Jay Pharoah on SNL this season? So is Pete Davidson. "It sucks," Davidson told Erin Lim when E! News caught up with the comedian before the Comedy...
Donald Glover's new FX comedy, Atlanta, probably has more in common with its network-mate, Louie, than anything else. But Glover told E! News while promoting the show at FX's 2016...
Josh Murray knows what he wants and it's to put a ring on Amanda Stanton's finger. "I am more than in love with Amanda and I am definitely going to propose to her," Josh...
Are you sitting down, Directioners? Because you might want to brace yourselves before hearing this bit of television development news: Zayn Malik--yes, he of the perfect "You and I" high...Two more days remain before this week’s Big Brother 18 eviction. Things have a tendency to flip back and forth right until the final votes, but we believe this week should go as expected. It’s a pretty predictable Big Brother 2016 week.
James Huling and Natalie Negrotti have spent most of their final days together bickering. It’s a high pressure situation that has boiled over and created tension between the showmance. James wants to focus on looking towards their future outside the Big Brother 18 house. Natalie just wants to try to not stress-what she presumes is-her final week in the house.
Meanwhile, the Final Four have been debating who to take out this week. Originally, they planned to evict James. As Head of Household Victor Arroyo set his sights on evicting James because he’s a bigger threat to his game.
Nicole Franzel, Corey Brooks, and Paul Abrahamian agreed to this plan. However, once Corey won the Veto, their tune changed. Corey and Nicole told Victor that they believed Natalie was the bigger game threat.
Paul backed up their claims. Soon, they convinced Victor that voting out Natalie was best for the group. Since Corey did not use the Veto, the Final Four have continued to discuss who to evict this week.
However, in the end we predict that the group will decide to vote out Natalie over James. On Thursday, Natalie will leave the Big Brother 18 house by a vote of 3-0. She will become the sixth member of jury.
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Break out the champagne, because Bachelor Nation is going to be making a few toasts tonight. As Bachelor in Paradise's third season comes to an end, there are four couples still...Are you ready to dive into the warm Caribbean waters tonight with an all new season of Below Deck? We here at RT couldn’t be more excited to welcome back one of Bravo’s most fun shows for its fourth run! Captain Lee Rosbach shares that there are plenty of surprises in store for us.
“I don’t surprise easily, and this season surprised me – in a good way,” he shared. Familiar faces Kate Chastain, Ben Robinson, and Kelley Johnson will join Captain Lee as they mix it up with new cast members, both interior and exterior.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
Captain Lee is no stranger to drama. And he certainly has plenty of experience with the antics and immaturity that seem to abound aboard his vessel during filming. He tells People that in many ways, Below Deck season 4 is no different when it comes to how he handles his crew.
Lee explains, “When you meet someone for the first time they put their best foot forward, but after the newness wears off and you’re with them a few days, things don’t always go as planned. You kind of get a feel for what their real personality is like and how much of it was real and how much of it was bulls—.”
So, has former employee and Lothario Kelley (promoted to Bosun this season) grown up at all since he worked under Lee last? Lee hints, “A lot can happen in a lot of years and Kelley had a maturation process to go through, and I think that when everybody gets done viewing this season they’ll see whether that transpired or it didn’t.”
Despite Kate’s pending legal issues with her ex-girlfriend (which occurred after filming), Lee still has much love for his delightfully snarky chief stew and is glad to have her “dry, cunning wit” aboard again this season. He’s also happy to have Ben back in the kitchen, who he calls “just hilarious.” A welcome change from the perma-stank face chef he had to put up with last season, no?
RELATED: Ben Robinson Says He’s Crankier Than Usual On Season 4!
It’s not all about old loyalties for Captain Lee though, who says, “I like when there’s a mix [of new and old crew]. I really enjoy the challenges it provides and sometimes it’s a breath of fresh air where you get new blood so to speak and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t so you just kind of take it as it comes.”
Unlike Captain Mark Howard from Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Lee is known for getting all up in his crew’s business – in a good way! And he is not hesitant to issue a plane ticket home for those who can’t fall in line. Lee also doesn’t seem to have any love lost for those who f**ked with his mojo in seasons past. Ahem, Leon Walker and Rocky Dakota: We’re looking at you!
Of Chef Leon, Captain Lee shares that he hasn’t “seen or heard from Leon since he left the boat that day.” And Rocky is never going to be darkening Lee’s doorstep again if he can help it. “Let’s say she hasn’t been over to the house to cook dinner. I’m not a huge fan of grenadine on my oysters,” he jokes. Lee does stay in touch with former Bosun and publicly shamed liar Eddie Lucas, who is still working on tug boats up North.
Despite the rollercoaster season 4 is sure to be, Captain Lee says what you see is what you get when it comes to his management style. Lee shares that having a TV crew filming his every move “doesn’t change how I deal with the individuals who work with us and the crew. And it doesn’t change how I treat the guests. It really doesn’t change anything as far as my method of running the boat. There’s nothing that I do specifically for TV. I’m just a captain doing my job and I just happen to be getting filmed at it.”
And that’s why he’s Captain Lee, Stud of the Sea.
TELL US: WILL YOU BE TUNING IN TO TONIGHT’S BELOW DECK PREMIERE? WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO SEE THIS SEASON?
Photo Credit: Bravo
The post Below Deck Season 4 Premiere: Captain Lee Reveals Surprises In Store! appeared first on Reality Tea.
When The Vampire Diaries returns for its eighth (and final, sob!) season on Oct. 21, Damon Salvatore will be up to his old tricks--the kind he was pulling when we first met him in the series...
It's the most wonderful time of the year! In a little less than two weeks, the 2016 fall TV season will officially kick off, bringing with it the return of all of our favorites, as...When you play the game of Big Brother 18, you either win or die. Okay, well, die metaphorically speaking, anyway.
When you think about it, Big Brother 18 and Game of Thrones have some similarities. You make deals with people you thought you trusted just to get betrayed in the end, you have to fight for your life, and eventually everyone you love dies. Or gets evicted. Same difference.
After much thought and deliberation (about 12 minutes), I have given the six remaining houseguests of BB18 their Game of Thrones spirit animal.
Victor Arroyo as Jon Snow
Real talk, I originally gave Victor the honor of being Jon Snow simply because they share some physical traits. And by that, I mean they’re both easy on the eyes. Upon further reflection, they share more than just looks. Remember that time Jon Snow freaking died because his men betrayed him (looking at you, Olly)? Then we had to wait a whole year to find out if he really was dead. Oh and then that one-time Victor was killed AKA evicted and we had to wait a few weeks to see if he was really dead? Guess what… STILL ALIVE!
@CBSBigBrother [Victor,] has anyone ever told you that you look like John [sic] Snow from Game of Thrones?! #bb18 #BBVictor
— Emily Michelle (@emmymichelle_) September 6, 2016
Not only that, Jon nearly died again during the Battle of the Bastards, but ultimately defeated Ramsay Bolton. Our good friend Victor nearly died again during the jury buy-back competition, but ultimately defeated Paulie Calafiore. I’m not saying Paulie is Ramsay. No wait. I am saying that. Basically, they’re both powerhouses on the battlefield, have come back from the dead (at least once), and I don’t mind looking at them. I present to you, Victor Snow.
Paul Abrahamian as Tyrion Lannister
It took me a little while to decide who our boy Paul should be. I’ll admit, what really sold me on Tyrion was Tyrion’s line of, “I drink, and I know things.” You all know that’s the kind of golden bull crap that comes out of Paul’s mouth on the daily. And let’s be honest, if they would let Paul sit around and drink everyday, he totally would. Neither one of them is a huge physical threat like our friend Victor Snow, but they do bring some brain power to the table. I also feel like Tyrion has been roaming all of Westeros just looking for some friendship. Now he’s finally found it in a certain blonde haired queen… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
They rock a beard, have killer catch phrases, and make us laugh. Lion of Lannister goes to our boy, Paul.
Natalie Negrotti as Margaery Tyrell
Upon first glance you probably only think they’re another cute face in the crowd. WRONG! They play the victim, and they play that part well. They also have a knack for luring dudes into their trap just to advance their game. Granted, Margaery moved on from Joffrey because he died, and Natalie moved on from half the dudes in the house because they didn’t give her the time of day. Cut me some slack.
At the end of the day, their games go up in a blaze of wildfire because they trusted the wrong people. Sorry, Lady Natalie. As they say, it sucks to suck.
James Huling as Tommen Baratheon
Big Brother 17 James would not get this title. Unfortunately, Big Brother 18 James does. He’s still likeable, but like Tommen, he’s more worried about his people liking him than playing the game. We could forgive this because there was still hope for the old James to come back.
When you don’t wanna play the game but the game start playing you #BB18 pic.twitter.com/qrBnagXl41
— PAUL (@OrphanThrones) September 2, 2016
Then in walks in a cutie with some boobies. Lady Natalie trapped him with some swoon worthy phrases, and he turned into a lovesick direwolf. Her game is going up in flames, and instead of trying to save his own skin, he jumps out a window. Metaphorically speaking of course.
I hate it for you, Jamesy. But James Baratheon, First of His Name it is.
Corey Brooks as Khal Drogo
I’m sorry. It’s the best I could come up with. They both have a pretty big physical presence, neither of them really says a lot, and they have a big ole crush on a blonde chick. Sleeping in a bumper car would definitely be a struggle for Drogo too.
Khal Corey, everyone. Because I’m at a loss for the big ole lug.
Nicole Franzel as Daenerys Targaryen
So I’m giving Nicole this title in hopes of the following happening: Khal Corey dies sooner rather than later, she has a pity party for a hot second, then emerges from the flames to kick butt and take names. I realize it’s late in the season for this to happen, but let’s be honest, this is when you’ve got to be on top of your game. We don’t have time for her to be all “my sun and stars” to Khal Corey right now. He’s gotta go so our Mother of Dragons can emerge victorious. I’m also a big fan of the friendship between Nicole Stormborn and Paul Lannister.
We know she has the ability to win the game. We just have to hope our messy bunned queen comes to her senses before it’s too late.
Taking the walk of shame, Game of Thrones style #bb18 pic.twitter.com/gwZQRspz0x
— Krazilia Love (@KraziliaLove) August 27, 2016
Even Big Brother 18 production has gotten into the game. Back when it was Corey vs. Victor on the eviction block, the houseguests were rehearsing for eviction night and we heard a very funny announcement from production that probably shouldn’t have gone out on the Feeds.
HG’s gather in the living room. Prod voice tells them they are voting to evict “Game of Thrones” or “The Walking Dead” #BB18 #BBLF
— morgan (@AnythingBigBro) August 25, 2016
Naturally, fans immediately decided that Game of Thrones referred to Victor Arroyo, and The Walking Dead was a reference to Corey Brooks.
So there you have it. The remaining houseguests as Game of Thrones characters. Who will emerge as the winner of the iron throne? We’ll find out in a few short weeks!
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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In our post-Labor Day Weekend photo gallery, we have a handful of celebs spotted out and about. Kandi Burruss and husband Todd Tucker attended the 2016 BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards at Woodruff Arts Center in Atlanta. Thoughts on Kandi’s look here? Seems a little Phaedra-inspired, no?
We also have pics of Kim Kardashian and daughter North twinning in silver dresses ahead of the Kanye West concert in NYC. And we have photos of Bethenny Frankel from last month when she attended that Coldplay concert and reportedly got a little feisty.
Down below you’ll also find Kelly Bensimon, Ramona Singer, Brody Jenner and more.
Photo Credit: Marcus Ingram/WireImage
The post Reality Star Sightings: Kandi Burruss, Bethenny, Ramona Singer, More appeared first on Reality Tea.
It seems like things are getting pretty serious between Vicki Gunvalson and her newish boyfriend Steve Lodge. We haven’t seen him on the current Real Housewives of Orange County season so far, but he must be very important to Vicki if he’s spending some time with her grand kids.
Vicki posted a bunch of super cute pictures of Steve with her grandsons Troy and Owen chilling on the couch and baking up cookies while their parents were out for a date night.
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It looks like Steve is comfortable around Vicki’s grand kids which is very important if he is going to be a part of her life. We all know that Briana Culberson wouldn’t let Vicki’s last boyfriend hang around her kids, so this is a pretty big deal!
Vicki put up a sweet photo of Steve hanging with the boys and put this as the caption: “I get to spend my Saturday night with these 3 guys! #perfectnight #babysitting #chocolatechipcookies.” Awww. Hopefully Vicki finally found a good guy who won’t dominate the Real Housewives of Orange County story lines – cough cough Brooks Ayers.
In a post from the same night, Vicki revealed that she, Steve, and the boys all baked cookies together.
She also posted a pic of Steve and Owen with this cute caption: “I love this picture of Owen and Steve. Owen loves him so much. #gluedatthehip.” This is a definite turnaround from Brooks’s relationship with the family and that’s definitely a good thing.
It looks like things are finally going well for Vicki on the boyfriend and family front. Hopefully things will follow suit in the friends department as well.
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VICKI’S BOYFRIEND SPENDING TIME WITH HER GRANDSONS?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
The post Vicki Gunvalson’s Boyfriend Steve Lodge Spends Quality Time With Her Grandsons appeared first on Reality Tea.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the saga of Teresa Giudice‘s never-wavering love for Joe continued. Unfortunately for Joe, he’s about to go away for a 41 month ‘staycation’ at the federal penitentiary and no home security cameras are gonna replace him once Teresa takes over.
While Joe binge drinks and verbally abuses his dog, daughters, and wife, Teresa gets ready for the official launch of Turning The Tables. A lot rests on this little book – a veritable ‘How Not To’ manual for aspiring Italian Housewives everywhere. A tale as aged as wine of a woman who vowed to stand by her man through orange is the new black, through bankruptcy and back, through thick and thickening girth, through humiliation and outbursts, through cheating and chutzpah…
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
They say cheaters never prosper, but from this book, Teresa seeks not only financial security but also to impart lessons to her four beautiful “dawters,” and prove to herself that she can make it without Joe. (She can).
On the other side of Franklin Lakes, Jacqueline Laurita returns from the spa weekend momentarily sane and calm. But Ashlee is like the blackened burned edges on a potato chip as she warns Jacqueline that Teresa’s peace, love, and light was as faux as the marble in her kitchen. According to Ashlee, Jacqueline will never be satisfied with the love Teresa has to offer because Jacqueline is “deep” (consider the source!), while Teresa is shallow. Chris notices, however, that when Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along, Jacqueline is as a whole lot easier to deal with.
Melissa Gorga is the only woman on earth who juggles working and motherhood. Envy is the fuel that keeps her going – she wants to make her boutique a success and break through the misconceptions about Italian wives to prove to Poison and Antonia that Melissa is her own woman. Is this revenge from her book, like the quiet submission that she was a total idiot? Feminism has found Melissa about 40 years late, and about 14 sizes too small for the average woman. A valuable lesson Melissa is about to learn from a tan bomber jacket.
When an order arrives at Envy which Melissa didn’t place, she immediately calls her business partner Jackie, on vacation in the Bahamas, to rip Jackie a new one for actually, you know, running the business she partially owns.
Melissa chose Jackie as a partner because Jackie owns successful boutiques, yet Melissa doesn’t want any of Jackie’s input or advice as she demands Jackie run every ‘buy’ through Melissa and only purchase things Melissa would wear. Then she rips into Jackie for being on a beach vacation while Melissa is slaving away as her children’s youth flies by in her over-burdened absence. A girl can only do so many things while also frying a chicken cutlet!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Melissa needs to get a grip. And Jackie is just the girl to smack her upside the head with a faux designer clutch! Jackie points out the obvious A) she’s Melissa’s partner; B) Melissa needs to recognize that many of her customers won’t be young and a size 0; C) if her children have forgotten what she looks like it’s because Melissa’s had one too many nose jobs.
Dolores Catania is an emotional wreck after putting her dog Boo down. Siggy Flicker brings her flowers and compassion as they snuggle Dolores’ body pillow and reminisce about why Boo was so important. It’s a hard loss. RIP Boo.
At the Giudices, Joe is basically spending all day wasted and calling Teresa names while talking down to her. “I know he’s stressed out,” Teresa acknowledges. “Of course it hurts, but this isn’t Joe – it’s the alcohol tawking.”
Teresa escapes to Dolores‘ house where Siggy is sorting though Dolores bills and finances in total shock that Dolores is still COMPLETELY dependent on Frank to pay her bills and manage her money. Teresa arrived at the perfect moment to receive some valuable advice, but appallingly she’s actually there to GIVE advice about being financially independent. Is this Bravo’s version of a parallel universe?
Despite Teresa basically being like “Hello Do, this is Tre from the cellblock. Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, cause I’m broker than a joke and Juicy lost every dime that I made and left me with nothing but a rap sheet to my name…” Dolores is totally in denial. Totally.
Teresa warns Dolores that she blindly let Joe manage all their money and 11 months in ‘camp’ later was her rude awakening. Dolores shrugs it off, blithely, as Siggy opens a credit card Dolores didn’t know she had, because Frank is no Juicy Joe of the Split Personality! And Frank’s biceps aren’t his only bulging muscle – apparently his brain is huge too! He’s a genius, a lawyer, and so much more! Dolores is well, ummmm, well she’s a bit misguided as is the prerequisite for RHONJ it seems. Also she’s 40-something and has been divorced for how many years, plus ostensibly co-owns a business she never shows up to? Oh girl…
Chris decides to host a poker night for the guys and Rosie. Juicy is supposed to come, and Roise is overjoyed to reclaim her Joew without Tre so she can tell him how much she misses him and that she’ll always be there for him. Of course Joe doesn’t care about anyone but himself and is a no call/no show. Chris finally calls him, and Joe admits he’s wasted and can’t get out of bed. Rosie erupts into a rage about being blown off and storms out. Jacqueline tries to calm her down and reassure her that Joe is just having a hard time coping with prison. When Jacqueline is the voice of reason, all hell has broken loose leaving Juicy in charge!
After storming off, Rosie must have remembered she’d had a few or something, and returns, contrite. Everyone is bummed Juicy isn’t there, given that he’s the comic relief. So Poison calls Teresa to find out what’s up. Teresa basically admits that Joe is totally falling apart. It’s sad.
Teresa takes Gia to sushi for some mommy-daughter time. It’s pretty difficult to determine who’s the daughter and who’s the mommy considering Gia is hands down the most mature person in the Juicy Joe branch of the Giudice family. Gia informs a shocked Teresa, mouth agape with crumbles of half-chewed rice falling out, that it’s time for Juicy to hit the slammer because he’s making their lives a living hell, needs to sober up, and hopefully will recognize the value in what he has.
In confessionals, Teresa finally breaks, tearing up slightly at how unstable her life has become. “I’m surprised I’m still standing,” she mumbles.
Melissa returned from the ‘away’ of her own making – Envy – to help Antonia get ready for the father-daughter dance. Melissa curls Antonia’s hair while asking questions about what Antonia wants to do when she grows up. Antonia wants to be a professional cheerleader. Melissa is shocked because she expected her daughter to have realistic goals like being a 30-year-old pop singer who can’t sing, or a Real Housewife. “You know mommy went to school to be a teacher,” Melissa reminds Antonia hopefully, but Antonia doesn’t believe her.
Melissa sighs that it’s her responsibility to the youth of America – for all the girls in need of guidance – that there is more to life than being a traditional Italian wife and mother! One does not have to look like a Ms. Jersey Shore contestant, while cooking clams casino for her cigar-smoking belligerent husband while he guzzles wine. A girl can be anything she wants – including an “icon”. Just ask Melissa’s sweatshirt! From the mouth of babes…
Before her book launch, Teresa ships her girls off to bed, then straps on a lace-up dress, and corrals Juicy into the white stretch limo, a throwback car that perfectly coincides with Teresa’s dated ideals, to pick up the Poison Gorgas. In another white stretch limo are Siggy, Dolores, Jacqueline, and Chris.
Driving to the party, Juicy announces that he invited his friend Chris C, who is bringing his 12-year-old son. Teresa reminds him there’s like this law which says no underage people in a bar. “Law?! What’s that?! Whose law?!” demands Joe. Some valuable questions the person headed to prison may want to evaluate…
Furthermore, since birds of a feather and yada, yada, yada, Chris C is also a felon. Also, per her parole, Teresa isn’t allowed to consort with other felons, so her attorney decides Chris C cannot attend. Teresa DID tell Juicy he could invite whomever he wanted, she shouldn’t have expected him to also use common sense!
Poor Teresa – this party isn’t supposed to be about Joe and his falling down drunkitude. It’s supposed to be about whether or not Turning The Tables made the bestseller list, proving that, once-again, Teresa is a viable investment for companies. Unfortunately, while Teresa is mingling with the hoity-toity, like The Dunkin D.D. Twins, Juicy is on the corner arguing with the riff-raff whom security won’t let though the door. Who’s gonna stop you Chris C? Not the government! Not the Mob! Not the police! But Bravo – that’s who. Also, nice Italian horn necklace, Juicy.
Inside, Teresa and her editor frantically call for Juicy over the microphone as they wait to announce the book ranking. Teresa declares the book the love story between her and Juicy, as Dolores shakes her head that Teresa is so old-school she’ll never leave Juicy (pot meet kettle!) even though she’s the No. 2 Times bestseller and Juicy is wasting her hard-earned money on whiskey and women.
Proving that she’s as Italian as the Pope, Teresa’s book outranks the Pope’s on the best seller list. Poison is impressed! Juicy, well, he’s probably passed out somewhere confessing his sins to Teresa’s book, and asking how many Our Father’s he has to say to be forgiven. A: Infinity much.
Teresa vows she’ll never leave her Juicy. There is no Tre without Joew. They are as tightly tied as the laces on her dress. But something is making me think that maybe, just maybe, the threads are starting to fray. Just me?
TELL US – WILL TERESA EVER LEAVE JUICY? DID YOU READ HER BOOK? DOES DOLORES NEED A WAKE-UP CALL?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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