Survivor: Winners At War Episode 10 Recap: There Will Be Blood

Tonight was the episode of Survivor that we needed. It was a “loved ones” visit like the show has never seen, followed by a Tribal Council that when the smoke clears may land in the Top 10 Tribal Councils of all-time. It ended with a “secret scene,” unscripted (not that any of this is scripted, but this was a moment clearly created by the players themselves and not producers), that put an emphatic exclamation point on what was hands-down the best episode of what has been a phenomenal season.

Yes, there was blood on the beach and blood on the ground after a messy, complicated Tribal Council, and we’ll try to dissect and get to the bottom of things coming up.

As I do at the beginning of every recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s episode of Survivor: Winners at War. If you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap. It is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

There’s no question that we are all in the midst of what will one day be looked back on as some of the most trying times of our generation. Perhaps it’s because we’re all living in quarantine for the most part, that tonight’s “loved ones” visit meant so much and impacted me so deeply. Hugs, kisses, and heck, any human connection at all are rare these days, so to see the show’s first 24 minutes or so of air-time dedicated solely to island “family time” was simply precious. But even by normal standards, this was a “loved ones” visit for the ages.

Ben called it “the biggest blindside in Survivor history,” and there are several reasons why I understand his sentiment. First off, this visit came much, much earlier than in most other seasons, catching the contestants completely by surprise. Then, instead of just one loved one running out from the jungle, we were treated to entire families: Wives, husbands, partners, fiancés, sisters, teenagers and toddlers. In many respects, seeing whole families out on the Survivor beach was also a nod to this show making it to its milestone 40th season, and how generations have now grown up on the show. This episode always brings the tears – and I know it’s also somewhat divisive among fans (those with hearts and those without, in my opinion!) – but something about watching children out there, and watching strong, grown men like Tony and Jeremy sob and weep uncontrollably at the mere sight of their loved ones, just really melted me.

Thankfully, Probst didn’t force dads and moms to compete in the usual “loved ones challenge” in front of what surely would have been crying, distraught children. The next facet of the “blindside” was that there was no challenge at all, and instead we got to see all of the families go back to camp and interact with one another. Did these “loved ones” and their children get any water or food, or were three and four year old kids asked to “tough it out” like their parents? Assuming they were fed, did any of them try to sneak some food to mom or dad? These are the random thoughts that flood my head while watching other people’s kids play in the oceans of Fiji.

But the “loved ones” episode went “next level” for me when we discovered that there was also going to be a visit to The Edge of Extinction. Those “in the game” are emotional enough, try these Edge folks, who have been ground-down to nubs emotionally and physically, who got the pick-me-up of the century in getting to see loved ones come to visit.

A few of the players mentioned how cool it was to see everybody’s guards come down when around their family members, and the same can be said about watching it from home. As much as we think we know these players, including iconic players like Boston Rob, we don’t really know any of these people at all and the different people that populate and shape their lives. We know Rob and Amber are married and have kids, and some might see their family via social media like Twitter or Instagram, but we never have quite SEEN them be a married couple on TV. I admit that I was a blubbering mess during the entire “loved ones” segment, but that look from Rob and Amber, as Rob hugged his wife and brought her close as they smiled through tears and waved good-bye to their children on the departing boat, that look on their faces was familiar to anybody with small children, and it totally brought home the mixed emotions of the episode.

By the end of the episode – if you stayed for the credits after commercial – you got to witness a rare moment of Jeff Probst sharing a real moment with the members of the Survivor jury. As they got up to leave, they all decided to give Jeff a group hug as a thank you for allowing them to participate in the “loved ones” visit. As Ben had said earlier in the ep, this was “our reward for giving everything up to come out and play this game,” and it showed another glimpse of – from the crew to the producers to Probst to the hundreds of contestants who have played the game over the past 20 years – how tight-knit this Survivor “family” is, on and off the island.

In some ways, it was a bold move to dedicate the first half of the episode to the family stuff, because we didn’t get the normal amount of strategizing and posturing that we would typically see in a given week. But there was business to attend to, and wow was there a lot packed into the final block of the show. Where to even begin?

Two advantages and one Immunity Idol were played during an anxiety-riddled Tribal Council, ultimately leading to Tyson‘s torch being snuffed out for the second time this season. So how did we arrive at that result? Even I’m not quite sure, as I’m still trying to make sense of the final votes (CBS usually posts the votes on their website but usually not until after this article posts each week, so all will be revealed in time). But here’s what we do know: With 10 players in the game going into Tribal, it appeared to be dead-locked at 5-5, although even that math I’m not entirely confident on given how the votes shook out. On one side, Kim had an Immunity Idol and just needed to play it correctly…if she did, her “side” would have dealt the game’s power alliance a real blow and would have completely reshuffled the deck by blindsiding Sophie. On the other side, it was a guessing game as to who to split votes between to ensure someone went home.

But then all hell broke loose, and what brilliant game-play we’re seeing this season, truly. It all started when Jeff said, as he has hundreds of times before, “it’s time to vote,” only to be interrupted by both Jeremy and Sarah. They had a bit of a stand-off, each knowing the other had a power to play but not wanting to be the first to show their hand. Ultimately, Jeremy decided to “peace out,” and used his “Safety Without Power” advantage that allowed him to just get up and leave any Tribal Council but without casting a vote. This was clearly a move of self-preservation by Jeremy, and while it bought him more time in the game, it’ll be interesting to see the damage this caused to his overall game in the eyes of the jury, who witnessed first-hand Jeremy abandoning his alliance-mates to fend for themselves and putting them at a numbers disadvantage. This was perhaps a lose-lose for Jeremy, because he very well might have been voted-out had he stayed anyways, so at least he’s still alive in the game. But the optics are very damning for him, especially when it was his old “poker alliance” chum Tyson who ended up taking the brunt of Jeremy’s decision to bail.

With Jeremy gone from Tribal, the numbers appeared to be in favor of Sophie, Tony, Nick, Ben and Sarah, with the minority alliance being Kim, Denise, Tyson and Michele. Maybe just to guarantee the slam dunk, Sarah then decided to play her “steal-a-vote” advantage, and decided to take away Denise’s vote, resulting in Sarah getting to vote TWICE. With Denise’s vote silenced and Sarah now in possession of two votes, the numbers then looked to be 6-3 as far as votes went. It came down to Kim, and if she was able to correctly guess who to save with her Immunity Idol. She chose incorrectly.

With nine votes being cast, the final tally ended up as five votes being for Tyson, two for Sophie and then two for Denise (which were nullified once Kim played the Idol on Denise). But this doesn’t quite add up to what we thought we knew about this week’s alliance…and as great as the “loved ones” visit was, I think that it’s safe to say that the lack of explanation as to what exactly happened was a result of not enough air-time to portray it all correctly. Why only two votes for Denise? Even with Denise’s vote blocked, shouldn’t there have been three votes on Sophie and not two, if in fact Kim, Tyson and Michele all voted together?

I have a theory, and that theory is that Michele was in fact not at all a part of Kim‘s group, even though it was depicted she was. Yes, Michele huddled up with Kim, Tyson and Denise, but I think she might have been playing a bit of double-agent. Why do I think this? First off, we didn’t hear much from Michele in terms of her strategy this week, so who knows? But I do know that she also is quite close with Jeremy…could it be that Michele was the real reason Jeremy decided he needed to use his advantage to leave Tribal, that she tipped him off that he was in serious trouble? Also, we know that Kim didn’t go through all that trouble with the Idol just to cast her vote for Denise or Tyson, and there’s no way Tyson wrote down Denise’s name, so Michele is the only likely person to have voted for either Denise or Tyson.

Last bit of evidence: Michele is still in possession of her “50/50” advantage coin, where she could flip the coin and possibly win an Idol. This Tribal would have been the IDEAL place to use it if she had felt threatened…if she was able to get an Idol with a successful coin flip, they would have had two Idols to block votes with instead of just one. Had Michele been desperate, she would have played it, but me thinks she was in on the vote-out of Tyson. It’s the only explanation really, for Tyson having received five votes…or I should say, the only explanation I can think of…

This is only going to get better and more intense from here, folks. Tony was “bulletproof” through all of this and it was probably a good thing that he was, since the paranoia this week might have gave him a stroke. But an interesting development in the “Cops-R-Us” alliance could be huge moving forward. Tony clearly has more loyalty to Sarah than Jeremy at this point, otherwise he wouldn’t have switched the vote to blindside Jeremy. But Sarah may have Tony’s back a lot less than previously thought. Tony may be wild and paranoid, but he has impeccable in-game awareness, and if he picks up on Sarah doubting him, he may just swing back over to Jeremy’s side who now will be clearly reeling. So far, if you’ve crossed Sarah in her last two seasons, you went home, and Jeremy is the first to throw her name out there and still be in the game. If Tony ends up going up against Sarah, who wins in that heavyweight fight?

Elsewhere, two PAINFULLY obvious things to the viewing audience all season were openly discussed, finally. One, that Kim is super-dangerous and might win the game. And two, that Sophie is a threat and when Jeremy looked to split up Sarah/Sophie, notice that he went after Sophie, not Sarah. Sophie has been running things, but this is no ordinary season. Absolutely everyone is on the radar this time around, and Sophie will have to withstand a lot more if she plans on winning against this group of champions.

Legacy Watch: Since the game of Survivor will forever be changed as this season rolls along, I’ve added a new segment where we’ll take a look at whose game legacy’s have taken a hit, and whose have risen, based on the actions of this week’s episode. Not much movement I don’t think, for any one player this week. Although the legacy of this season as a whole went up a few notches for me, not only for the quality of the “loved ones” visit but for a truly epic Tribal Council that was exciting and unpredictable from start to finish.

Episode Take-Away: With nine now left “in the game,” I find myself rooting for Tony. He’s a big name, and a big threat, and it’s hard to believe he’s gotten this far playing a mostly calm game. Next week looks to be different, and kudos to him for winning his first-ever Individual Immunity. There’s not enough Spy Shacks in the world to hide Tony’s personality, but I am so incredibly happy that he has not been snuffed out and sent to The Edge just yet.

Lost in all the craziness, is how the heck was Nick all of a sudden in the majority alliance? Wasn’t he totally on the outs as of last week? He looked a lot more calm and confident this week at Tribal, so he clearly was on the side of power, but we’re never given much explanation. Upon deep reflection, I guess it’s possible that Nick wasn’t in fact in line with the majority alliance, and maybe he voted for Denise along with Michele? Maybe Nick and Michele were “in the middle” of the two other warring alliances? That still doesn’t explain the huddles at Tribal. Oh well. We’ll have to watch to see if they explain some of this in future episodes.

“Jeremy Walks Out”

Photo: ERIK REICHENBACH / WWW.DABUDOODLES.COM

#DabuDoodles

FIRE TOKEN/ADVANTAGE TALLY (current)

Parvati: 4 FT* (bartered from Michele, it wasn’t shown but there has not been any definitive mention on the show if she used them to purchase food at The Edge)

Denise: 3 FT

Nick: 3 FT

Tony: 3 FT

Jeremy: 2 FT

Sophie: 2 FT

Sarah, Kim, Ben, Ethan, Danni: 1 FT

Natalie: 0 FT, 1 Immunity Idol

Boston Rob: 0 FT, 1 Immunity Idol

Michele: 0 FT, “50/50” Coin Advantage

Amber, Yul, Tyson, Wendell, Adam: 0 FT

Sandra: Out of the Game

Voted Out This Week: Tyson

Won Immunity: Tony (1)

Vote: Jeremy played his “Safety Without Power” advantage. Sarah played her “Steal-A-Vote” advantage, stealing Denise’s vote and getting to vote twice. Kim played an Immunity Idol on Denise. 5 – Tyson (assumed, 1 Sarah Vote, Sophie, Tyson, Nick, Ben), 2 – Sophie (assumed Kim, Tyson), 0 (2 votes negated by Idol) – Denise (assumed 1 Sarah Vote, Michelle).  Tyson had no Fire Tokens to give, instead he flipped the bird at the Fire Token table on his way to The Edge.

Next Week’s Episode: Tony, who just surprised himself by winning Immunity at a challenge that required him to be “slow and steady,” goes full-tilt back to his “fast and sloppy” approach to the game. He’s up to no good, or is he about to pull off a major move?

Quick Note! I appreciate that you are reading this recap! Those that have followed me also know that I am also a RottenTomatoes-approved film critic, and with the current coronavirus pandemic, I’ve been putting movie reviews on hold, mainly since none are being released in theaters. In the meantime however, I encourage you to check out my past movie reviews as I am the film critic and Executive Producer of the TV show, “Movie Show Plus,” the #1-rated local program in the Detroit-market (episodes are also available online at the website, www.MovieShowPlus.com.) As always, the easiest way to get all of my Survivor coverage and movie reviews is to follow me on Twitter – @tomsantilli – or on Facebook.

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE LOVED ONES VISIT? THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S TRIBAL COUNCIL? AND DID JEREMY BLOW HIS CHANCES OF WINNING THE GAME BY LEAVING HIS ALLIANCE FOR DEAD?

[Photo Credit: CBS/Monty Brinton/Robert Voets/Timothy Kuratek/Jeffrey Neira/Michele Crowe/David M. Russell]

 

The post Survivor: Winners At War Episode 10 Recap: There Will Be Blood appeared first on Reality Tea.

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Survivor winners’ war paused for family visits, then fast-forwards into an insane Tribal Council

Survivor spent half of its episode on a super-sized loved ones visit, leaving a lot of game play—and advantage playing—for the very end of the episode.

from reality blurred https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2020/04/survivor-winners-at-war-episode-10-full-circle-recap/

Garcelle Beauvais & Dorit Kemsley Are On Watch What Happens Live Tonight

As we are all aware, we are living in some tough times these days. At least, we have some entertaining TV shows to watch while we are social distancing and staying safe in our homes.

As a result of the coronavirus outbreak, Watch What Happens Live has been filming new episodes via video chat. Andy Cohen hosts from the safety of his New York City apartment. And different guests video chat in from wherever they are. Although it’s great to see the stars glammed up with pounds of hair extensions and self-tanner, this filming from home thing definitely has some advantages. For instance, there are no travel schedules to consider. This means that it is possible to have premium guests every single night.

Dorit Kemsley and Garcelle Beauvais will be on the show tonight to discuss the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 10 premiere. I wonder what Dorit is gonna look like video chatting from home, glam squad-free. That will be interesting. Maybe we will even get some insight into what Dorit’s real hair actually looks like.

 

RELATED: Garcelle Beauvais Reveals Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Star She Connected With The Least

 

Catch Watch What Happens Live tonight at 10 PM on Bravo. We don’t typically do comment threads for Watch What Happens Live episodes. However, a lot of you asked for this. So, of course, we are happy to come through for you. Hopefully, you enjoy the escapism of chatting with other members of the Reality Tea community.

Comment throughout the episode on this post. Tweet us with your thoughts. Follow us on Instagram. Like our page on Facebook. And make sure to check our site tomorrow for some news stories and recaps.

TELL US- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE FILMING REMOTELY? IS IT LESS ENJOYABLE TO WATCH BECAUSE OF THE UNRELIABLE TECHNOLOGY? OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO GET SOME NEW TV SHOWS TO WATCH? IF YOU GOT THROUGH AS A CALLER, WHAT QUESTIONS WOULD YOU ASK THE GUESTS?

[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]

The post Garcelle Beauvais & Dorit Kemsley Are On Watch What Happens Live Tonight appeared first on Reality Tea.

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Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Returns For Season 10 Tonight

After that Real Housewives of New York Season 12 premiere put Bethenny Frankel on blast for leaving, I can’t help wondering if Lisa Vanderpump will get the same treatment when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns tonight.

Interestingly enough, RHOBH isn’t even about Beverly Hills tonight. The cast heads to New York Fashion week to support Kyle Richards. She’s a clothing designer now, you guys. Who asked for this? As far as I know, there isn’t a high demand for ill-fitting caftans, yet, this clothing line does exist. Ugh.

Dorit Kemsley is not impressed by Kyle’s lack of fashion show experience. She’s a swimsuit designer, you guys. She’s an expert in getting sued by her business partners. Regardless, I fully support the shade. Let’s go, Dorit.

 

RELATED: Reality TV Star Fashion Week Photos- Sonja Morgan, LeeAnne Locken, Erika Jayne, & More!

 

While the ladies are in the New York area, Erika Jayne takes Lisa Rinna, Teddi Mellencamp, and Dense Richards across the bridge to New Jersey. Apparently, Erika used to be a dancer at a bar, but not a stripper. She just danced on a bar while she wore a bathing suit.

Denise deals with some legal issues concerning her ex-husband Charlie Sheen. She also introduces the cast to new Housewife Garcelle Beauvais. It’s unclear if Sutton Stracke is in this first episode or not. After she went from full-time to part-time before the season even started, the least they could do is feature her in the first episode.

 

RELATED: Garcelle Beauvais Reveals Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Star She Connected With The Least

 

Watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills tonight at 9 PM on Bravo. Comment throughout the episode on this post. Tweet us with your thoughts. Follow us on Instagram. Like our page on Facebook. Check our site tomorrow for our Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills episode recap!

TELL US- WHAT STORYLINE ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO MOST THIS SEASON? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT KYLE BECOMING A CLOTHING DESIGNER? WHAT ABOUT ERIKA’S PAST AS A GOGO DANCER? WILL GARCELLE BE A SOLID ADDITION TO THE SHOW?

[Photo Credit: John Tsiavis/Bravo]

The post Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Returns For Season 10 Tonight appeared first on Reality Tea.

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Survivor: Winners at War Just Gave Us All the Best Happy Cry

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Breaking the Fourth Wall With Denise Richards Is a Bold Move

Now, that's one way to start a season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. All eyes were already going to be on the Bravo reality show following Lisa Vanderpump's dramatic...


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Let's Celebrate Sonja Morgan's 10 Most Outrageous Moments on The Real Housewives of New York City

"When Sonja Morgan walks in a room, I'm still the straw that stirs the drink." 10 years ago on April 15, 2010, Sonja Morgan stormed onto our TV screens and Bravo would never...


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Em live, Gabi Martins, do 'BBB20', dispara sobre encontro com Guilherme: 'Quem quer dá um jeito'

Se após deixar o ‘Big Brother Brasil 20’ Gabi se arrependeu de ter sido contida no reality, aqui fora a ex-sister não tem papas na língua e solta o verbo quando o assunto é vida amorosa. Na noite da última terça-feira, a cantora fez uma live no...

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Na onda das lives, Victor Hugo, do "Big Brother Brasil 20", estava batendo um papo com fãs até que haters começaram a atacá-lo com críticas ainda da sua participação no reality. Chateado, e com lágrimas nos olhos, o psicólogo encerrou a transmissão...

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Tamra Judge Names Her Ideal Real Housewives Of Orange County Cast

How does that old adage go? “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” What about “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? But, what about the people that never left? Tamra Judge got the boot from Real Housewives of Orange County ahead of filming for Season 15.

Instead of taking some time to regroup and figure out a new normal away from the spotlight, she’s had a lot to say, especially about RHOC. Recently, she shared some casting opinions. And, yes, of course, she thinks she was a part of the show’s “perfect cast.” No one is surprised by that, but it may be a little bit shocking to find out who else she named.

In an interview for the Kickin Back with Kelly podcast, Tamra admitted that the only Real Housewives show she watches is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She explained, “I like Beverly Hills because I feel like there’s not so much dumb drama, petty drama, fighting. I like to see what they’re wearing, where they’re going, and what they’re buying.”

Then, she commented, “The one thing about Beverly Hills that I really like is that they’ve pretty much had the same cast for a long time, you know, minus Lisa Vanderpump.”

 

RELATED: Vicki Gunvalson & Tamra Judge Admit They’re Bothered By Shannon Beador Making Up With Kelly Dodd

 

And she used that as lead-in to shade the show that made her famous. Tamra said, “With Orange County, it has changed so much. I look back and I’m like ‘It’s so different now.’ I think the Season 11 cast was the perfect cast.”

In case you forgot, Vicki Gunvalson, Shannon Beador, Meghan Edmonds, Heather Dubrow, Kelly Dodd, and Tamra were the full-time cast members for Season 11. This was Kelly’s debut season and the immediate follow-up to the cancer scam.

Tamra mused, “I wish they would have kept it at that cast, but I think they always try to freshen it up. We’ve had so many cast members that just didn’t work out. And it’s hard. It’s hard for a cast member to get to know somebody. It takes a good season to even get to know them.”

 

RELATED: Tamra Judge Says Some Real Housewives Of Orange County “Don’t Have A Penny In The Bank” & “Have No Career”

 

Tamra (finally) said something that I agree with. She remarked, “It’s also hard for the viewers too. They’re like, ‘Who is this person?’ People aren’t really invested. That’s my only concern about the show right now.” Concern? Right, I’m sure Tamra is worried on someone else’s behalf.

Tamra continued, “There are a lot of new people on the show. A lot.” Yes, there are. Braunwyn Windham-Burke just finished her first season. Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily Simpson just finished their sophomore season. Rumor has it that Elizabeth Lyn Vargas just got an orange. That really is a lot of “new” people.

 

RELATED: Fans Drag Tamra Judge For Promoting Cut Fitness During Coronavirus Outbreak

 

TELL US- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TAMRA’S PERFECT REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY CAST? WHO’S IN YOUR PERFECT CAST? ARE THERE TOO MANY NEW HOUSEWIVES ON THE SHOW?

[Photo Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo]

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: What Happens In Vegas…

Last night on Vanderpump Rules we celebrated the re-wedding of Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. Although the relationship continuation of these two toxic assholes is definitely not something anyone should be celebrating, I have to acknowledge that it was the most perfect wedding this show has ever had.

TomKatastrophe 2.0 totally encapsulated the cluster-fucky spirit of what we initially loved about Vanderpump Rules: real friends, down on their luck, but somehow pulling it together and making the most of it. Of course, there were two notable absences to this momentous event: Scheana Marie and Kristen Doute.

Scheana was off getting her eggs retrieved. No, she wasn’t at Whole Foods buying a half dozen in order to chat up the hot 20 year old in the dairy department who is just like her BEST. FRIEND. She just bought him a Roomba after they made eyes when she dropped a carton of skim milk, so now they’re like totally moving from the crush stage to the instagram stories official phase. To Scheana BFF stands for Best Fuck Friend. Scheana’s problem is that her brain is 13 but her biological clock is 34. 

Scrambled signals aside this time Scheana is getting her actual eggs retrieved in the event one of her crushes ever elevates to mate. With surgery scheduled and hormones raging, Scheana can’t come to Vegas. It wasn’t clear if she was invited anyway?

 

RELATED – Vanderpump Rules Recap: Baby Love

Kristen just straight up wasn’t invited. No one even missed her which was the most stinging part. Scheana and Kristen are left behind in LA to cry into Hard Claws about how hard it is to be truly alone.

Scheana’s situation is even more depressing because she’s forced to brunch with 2 twenty-something SURvers whose eyes glaze over as she warbles on about her hormones. To them eggs is brunch and being over 30 qualifies you for an AARP discount. The day of surgery Scheana doesn’t have anyone to worry about her so she goes to SUR pretending to need her check, but really hoping to find some solace. There she will find some people; some support. But all her people are in Vegas, so the only person Scehaan finds is Dayna Kathan, polishing glasses.

The look of mutual disappointment that passed between these two was palpable. Scheana forced to sit down and mumble something about how she’s sorry for meddling in Dayna and Brett Caprioni‘s fledging romance. See Scheana was all hopped up on hormones and when she learned Dayna and Brett had a date, and tattled to Max Boyens, Brett’s buddy and Dayna’s ex. Now Max is annoyed with Brett. Which makes absolutely NO sense considering he had a chance to rekindle things with Dayna, but rejected her. (After most likely cheating on her to begin with).

 

RELATED – Lala Kent Says Scheana Marie Doesn’t Learn From Her Mistakes; Says It’s “Not Interesting To Watch Vanderpump Rules With A 34-year-Old In A Crop Top & A Slutty JoJo Siwa Ponytail”

The other person meddling in Dayna and Brett’s potential happiness is Danica Dow. Oh Danica… she continues to be more interesting by the day. Danica warns Dayna that things with Brett can’t work out because she’s a Leo and he’s a Pisces, and Pisces are just way too sensitive. Like they may file restraining orders against you because you put a rancid hot dog in their mailbox, stuffed it with a fire cracker, and yelled FLACCID DICK before lighting it and running away. Not that I’ve ever done anything like that before… Not that Danica has either.

But Danica did manage to rack up two restraining orders from her Pisces exes, so you know — it’s a thing that happens with these emotional water signs. Danica drops the restraining order bit in the confessionals completely calmly, as she’s applying chapstick, like all good sociopaths do. And seems surprised when the producers probe for more details. Danica is definitely the next Jax Taylor and I LOVE IT!

I also love Charli Burnett. At first I thought Charli was as dumb as people think Raquel Leviss is, but Charli is witty and she’s growing on me week after week. Like when Charli jokes with Raquel about thinking Brett wanted to be her friend until then she remembered that to men in LA, vaginas don’t have faces. She also realizes that Brett is thirsty and working the rounds at SUR finding his soul mate of the week. By now his diary must be filled with crossed out hearts that have his initials + whatever girl he’s currently into.

The best part of the LA scenes was when Raquel and James Kennedy went to dinner with Dayna and Brett. James was so happy, alive and light. His laughter was infectious and he truly seemed like a different person – so young and fresh. Raquel is so proud of him and as a sobriety bonus the sex is better. It’s real sex. Not sloppy drunk hook-ups after the frat party sex. I love seeing James like this.

Before disembarking to Vegas Lisa Vanderpump has Ken Todd take her Christian Louboutin to buy some wedding finery. I love how Lisa was speaking in hushed, reverent tones as if Louboutin was indeed her church. Lisa is delighted that she will be taking over for the second wedding of TomKatastrophe. Everyone will be staying at Caesars Palace where Lisa will also begin work on their newly planned Vanderpump Suite, a collaboration with who else but Nick Alain. Ken is along for the ride – aka puppy purse carting – as always.

 

RELATED – Lisa Vanderpump Hopes Restaurants Survive Coronavirus Shutdown

 

Well Scheana may not have been physically in Vegas her doppleganger was! There at Vanderpump Cocktail Garden, where all wedding events must take place as a built-in advertisement for what Lisa hopes is a spinoff to accompany her Vegas expansion pack, is a girl named Karrah who is literally Scheana 2.0. They talk alike, they dress alike, they look alike, they flirt alike (heavy on the desperation), and cutting across the garden is the unmistakable seal-life bark of Pseud0-Scheana. Jax is actually spooked. Lisa certainly has a type! And it turns out so does Max. After sleeping with Scheana he takes Pseudo-Scheana to bed. Lisa is all too thrilled to learn of this indiscretion. Her staff are such naughty, naughty dogs – just the way she likes them. I wonder if Pseudo-Scheana is gonna buy him an Apple Watch? Seems like an apple is more in her budget.

 

RELATED – Kristen Doute Slams Vanderpump Rules Co-Stars For Being “Mean Girl Assholes In Their 30’s”

 

Nearly every second of this Vegas trip seemed so staged and phony. From Max ‘hooking up’ with the Pseudo-Scheana and Lisa happening to FaceTime him just as the girl emerges from his bed, to Tom 2 ‘accidentally’ finding a bra in his suitcase. Katie pretends to be outraged that a random bra is lurking in Bubba’s luggage the day before their second wedding, but her outrage is … muted. Insincere, maybe? She can’t even really muster up the emotion to care. Tom almost seems relieved that the wedding might be off. Again. His only joy in this is that Tom 1 will be officiating and he gets to wear a super snazzy fringed cowboy shirt.

Tom 2 was actually all ready with snarky comments about how Katie doesn’t turn him on, when he realized he could just use this bra as a get out of jail free card; run tail and hide in Tom and Ariana’s room. It turned out to be Lisa playing an elaborate prank where she slipped the bra into Tom’s suitcase. She asks Katie to let him squirm. Initially, before Katie supposedly knew Lisa was behind bra-gate, she still didn’t look too upset. In fact she looked relieved too. But alas it was too good to be true.

Tom is actually excited that it’s Lisa’s bra – of all women! Tom wants to keep it so he can smell Lisa’s opulence. To rest his face in the plush cups and feel a sense of milf-y swaddling. A reminder that no matter how old he grows, his mentality can always stay stunted.

 

RELATED – Stassi Schroeder Would Give Up Part Of Her Salary If Alex McCord Returned To Real Housewives Of New York; Wants Mario & Ramona Singer Back Together

 

Tom has competition though. Brett is also pretending to be in love with Lisa and joking about his mommy issues fetish. I hate this game on Vanderpump Rules. How the most hapless dopey guys must pretend worship Lisa as the sexiest woman they’ve ever seen. I’m not saying Lisa isn’t a stunning woman – she is. Nor am I saying she doesn’t deserve adoration – she does, but repeatedly trotting out a storyline of these boys wanting her to Mrs. Robinson them, never really seems authentic. Whatever.

So after a raucus re-bachelor/ bachelorette party at Vanderpump Cocktail Garden which ended with Lisa ziplining after two giggy-tinis, Tom and Katie began their second foray to say ‘I Shouldn’t Do.’ This time Tom and Stassi Schroeder are joint officiating, dressed as an Elvis impersonator and a slutty nun. Max is the flower boy (tourist?) and Ariana is randomly wearing a fanny pack and Hawaiian shirt. Lala Kent and Brittany Cartwright are dressed normally for a wedding and escort Katie down the aisle where there is Tom, in all his splendor, greasy and drunk and preparing to officially die. Lisa looks on, grinning and pleased, in stunning floral number. Jax is wearing a white tuxedo. Part Vegas/part surrender to chutzpah.

RELATED – Lala Kent Is Sad That She Didn’t Have Bridal Shower Or Bachelorette Party Because Of Coronavirus

And then TomKatastrophe is re-hitched! At the reception dinner Stassi stares Beau Clark down with the angsty-est look; glowering about sitting there not engaged and not married. The only other woman at the table in this predicament. Other than Ariana who doesn’t want to be and therefore doesn’t count. Little does Stassi know that just that day Beau phoned her father to ask permission to propose. A tradition I find insulting and insurable. Especially when the true approval must come from Mutha Lisa. Over dinner Beau slips down to Lisa’s end of the table to reveal his proposal plans. Lisa is overjoyed, but not so keen on Beau’s plan to do it in a cemetery. It’s a two-for-one deal! He’s signing his life away to the devil and Stassi loves to bury people alive for fun, so you know!

The next morning Tom 2 wakes up a married man. Errrrrr… hopefully! I’m sure no one – including Katie –  is surprised to learn that he already misplaced the second wedding license. The one Tom 1 and Stassi signed as witnesses not 2 seconds after proclaiming them re-man and wife. Tom 2 thought he put it in his backpack, but then he had some drinks, and the dog ate his homework after he was abducted by aliens from planet Scheana-Tequila, and then he found his way in Max’s bed, hearing Lisa’s voice through an over the loudspeaker that also told when the pep rally was, and suddenly the piece of paper was shredded into cheese he found on a taco at the Hollywood Cemetery.

 

 

RELATED – Stassi Schroeder Says Lala Kent Is “The Erika Jayne Of Vanderpump Rules”; Lala Kent Calls Raquel Leviss A “Peasant”

 

Katie’s repose is to scoff, but truthfully she doesn’t look that annoyed. Hmmm… are these two gaslighting the show? Pulling the ultimate long con? At this point they’ve gotten Bravo to pay for 2 weddings and not a one was legit. As Brittany explained it’s way harder to walk away once that paper makes it official! So if Katie and Tom are in this together, I’m impressed. Hell, even if Tom is acting alone – still impressed!

After all what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Right?!

TELL US – DO YOU THINK TOM LOST THE MARRIAGE LICENSE AGAIN? SHOULD DAYNA GIVE BRETT A CHANCE? 

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

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