Warning: The following contains major spoilers from the latest episode of Scandal. If you haven't watched yet, you may want to bookmark this page and return once you have. Proceed with...
The truth is still out there, apparently! The X-Files is officially returning to Fox for a second time, and this time it's bigger The second chapter in the X-Files event series will...
Ariana Madix and a few of her Vanderpump Rules co-stars (the ones who aren’t in Europe!) hit up the premiere of Katherine Heigl‘s new movie, Unforgettable, last night in Los Angeles.
Ariana and her arm candy, aka Tom Sandoval, walked the black carpet, along with Scheana Marie. Missing from the double date: Scheana’s boyfriend Robert Valletta.
Also spotted at the premiere: former Housewives Joanna Krupa and Claudia Jordan, plus Bachelor in Paradise’s Josh Murray.
Check out the photos below! Whose look do you love the best? Scheana? Ariana? Claudia? Joanna?
Photo Credit: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic/Getty
The post Ariana Madix Is White Hot At Unforgettable Premiere With Tom Sandoval, Scheana Marie and More – Photos appeared first on Reality Tea.
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After the weightiness of last week’s emotional episode, Survivor gave us two scoops of fun this week, with a double-episode that did not disappoint. We witnessed the merge and we got to see a number of players jockeying for position in the game, now that the end is in sight. But a double-episode meant that we said good-bye to not one, but two players this week, both of whom will join the Survivor Jury and will cast a vote for this season’s Sole Survivor. I chatted with them both coming up.
Caution, as spoilers from this week’s episode are to follow! Turn back now! If you want to get caught up, be sure to check out the Latest Recap here.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
The double-episode gave us two Tribal Councils, and showed us that Hali Ford and Ozzy Lusth will become the first two members of this season’s jury. Both might be considered “Game Changers” by their inclusions this season, but they’re reputations in the game could not be more opposite.
On one hand you have Hali Ford, who at first glance might strike you as just another pretty face on Survivor. It was somewhat of a surprise that she was included this season, because she not only wasn’t a “Game Changer” on her previous season, but many were hard pressed to remember her at all. But not sticking out could have been the winning strategy on this season full of larger-than-life personalities. Unfortunately for Hali, she just was never able to find her footing in the game. It seemed hard for her to connect with others socially, and although she seemed to be a daring spit-fire during Tribal Councils, she was often on the outside or the bottom of the dominant alliances. Hali was surprised to be targeted first post-merge, but it was the safe bet since she didn’t have any close allies.
While Hali is a relative unknown for being a two-time player now, Ozzy is one of the faces of the Survivor brand. A dominant, legendary physical threat, Game Changers marks Ozzy’s fourth stab at winning Survivor. The closest he came was when he finished runner-up to Yul Kwon during his first season, Survivor: Cook Islands (Season 13), receiving four winning votes but falling short. He came back for Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites (Season 16) – and was ousted after 27 days. His third stab at the game was almost a charm, but he fell just short during Survivor: South Pacific (Season 23), getting voted out at Day 38. Adding an additional 24 days from this Game Changers season, Ozzy holds the all-time record for most days played in the game, at 128. Considering that he fought his way back into the game twice during the South Pacific “Redemption Island” season, he’s also the most-voted-out person in Survivor history, having seen his torch snuffed now five different times.
Ozzy went home this time after losing an Immunity Challenge that he had won twice in previous seasons. He seemed poised for another deep run if he could win some challenges, but losing both individual challenges this time around, it just wasn’t in the cards for ole’ Ozzy.
I spoke to both Hali and Ozzy today and it’s a Podcast interview you won’t want to miss (the full audio of which you can find at the bottom of this article). Here were some highlights:
HALI INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHTS:
On if she was surprised to get the call to be a part of this “Game Changers” season:
Hali Ford: Yes (laughs). I was surprised when I found out the theme of the show. But I was ecstatic when I got the call back to come on the show, at that time I had no idea what the theme was. When I found out the theme was “Game Changers,” I was like, what? I didn’t do anything! I just sat around and made friends and wove baskets, I didn’t even know why I was getting the call back. I was happy, but no, I don’t think I fit in with this cast.
On her strategy this season:
I was really happy with my position in the game. I thought that I was in a secret power position with all of the bigger threats, and it kind of played out the way I thought it would, with the bigger threats being targeted…but I don’t know where it blew up, my strategy didn’t get me far at all. My pitch on the last day, my pitch at almost every turn was, hey guys! I’m just this little nothing player! Don’t vote me out, I’m your soldier! But it didn’t work out in the long, I don’t know why people where gunning for me, it made no sense.
On what she thinks her weaknesses are in the game of Survivor:
I feel like I change my mind too much. I think that to make moves you have to get an idea, commit to it, and then when other people see that leadership of like, here’s this idea that I have, then people want to go with that idea. I just over-complicated things and I think if I would just make a decision and stick with it more, then I would just have more drive in the decision-making. But out there, I never quite felt secure, even like I did on my first season. It was like I was always on the outs trying to get in. So I didn’t exactly form plans and force people to follow my plans. I sort of just would sit back and figure out what the plan was and then just makes sure it wasn’t me. I think if I were to play again, I would just go with my plans hell or high water, and convince other players to join me.
(For more with Hali, including some relationships she had that you didn’t see on TV, be sure to listen to the FilmSurvivor Podcast below).
OZZY INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHTS:
On last night’s Tribal Council:
Ozzy Lusth: I blame Debbie 100%. I didn’t really see it coming until she pulled out her stupid vote. That’s when I knew that something was amiss.
On his in-game relationship with Cirie and trying to over-come their past:
I did feel like she was on my side. I’ m not sure why she voted for Sierra, I just don’t really know what her thinking was. She genuinely looked surprised. I think that maybe she thought it was going to be Zeke. Then Debbie pulled out that vote, which was sort of inconsequential at that point. But I could have gotten a tie vote had I gotten those two other votes (Cirie’s and Sarah’s).
On over-coming his reputation and his status as “Survivor Legend”:
Having the reputation that I do, it’s a little unnerving because I know that people will be gunning for me. I’ve got to be the best version of myself. At the same time, it’s a beautiful thing to know that I have this sort of reputation. I’d much rather play the way I always have, a loyal game, the way I embrace the entire experience of Survivor. I don’t really play from a place of fear. I’m happy to bow out, as much as I hate it, the third week out there, as opposed to be a lying, cheating, sniveling sort of fear-mongering player and make it to the end. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. The money’s not worth it and the win is not worth it.
(For more with Ozzy, including his take on the whole Jeff Varner/Zeke Smith incident from last week, be sure to listen to the FilmSurvivor Podcast below).
For much more from Hali and Ozzy, including my full interview, please listen to the latest episode of the FilmSurvivor Podcast below or by clicking here.
Be sure to follow me on Twitter – @tomsantilli – and on Facebook, for all of the latest Survivor coverage, interviews, and movie reviews.
TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HALI AND OZZY’S ELIMINATION?
Photo Credit: Jeffrey Neira/CBS Entertainment
The post Exclusive Interviews with the TWO Survivor: Game Changers Voted Out Last Night – Spoilers! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Before this Real Housewives of Atlanta season started, I felt like the show had the right cast. I couldn’t see any of these ladies getting the boot, especially Phaedra Parks. She’s a shade-throwing assassin, she has the cutest kids, she got burned by her husband, she wears racy outfits, she’s charitable. Basically she has all of the elements that make for a compelling Housewife, but am I the only one who feels like this four part reunion is her swan song?
She told some major lies this year and didn’t have to own any of her actions the entire season since Porsha Williams covered for her the entire time. Phaedra owes her a muffin basket or something to convey her gratitude. Nevertheless, now that all of the episodes have aired, Andy Cohen and her costars will be pushing Phaedra to present some receipts. Unfortunately, it does not seem like she actually has any and she might be totally screwed.
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Is Phaedra done with the show? If she’s not done, she sure seems like she’s over it these days. Aside from the lack of Real Housewives-related social media activity, she has really been phoning it in with her last few Bravo blogs.
To paraphrase the one and only Erika Jayne, “How many f-cks does she give? None, not one, zero, zero, zero, done.”
When asked about her thoughts going into the reunion, Phaedra said, “There is always a level of anxiety before the reunion. Much like the first day of school, you don’t know what to expect; you hope for the best but anticipate the worst.”
Really? That’s it?
Phaedra could have mentioned that she was nervous to see Kandi Burruss after the nasty demise of their friendship. And she made zero comments about her murky divorce status. Listen, I imagine that watching conversations you had months ago with people you cannot stand has to be tough, but she could have defended herself in some way. She just seems very indifferent.
RELATED: Real Housewives Of Atlanta Reunion Part 1 Recap
This season was the least flattering for Phaedra to date, but she also did a lot of good things this year. She raised money and awareness to help kids affected by the Flint Water crisis. “We continue to work and support the Flint, Michigan community. I am excited to announce the Phaedra Foundation is launching its summer camp program in Atlanta.”
Phaedra taught her young sons about the importance of giving back and even united the cast at the fundraising event.But is that enough for the viewers to overcome Phaedra’s lies about her divorce and Kandi’s marriage? It might not be.
Even though Phaedra did not seem into that blog, she did take the chance to shade Kenya Moore for old time’s sake. She declared, “As a Christian, I’m always open to a prayer request, however, Kenya’s decision to not want to pray just shows you where her heart lies.” Yeah, but Phaedra got a way worse edit than Kenya this year. Prayer or no prayer, that’s just the sad truth.
Obviously I’m just speculating about Phaedra’s future on the show. I doubt the casting decisions for next year have even been made yet considering that the season is still airing, but she does seem removed from it all. I don’t blame her considering that she bound to get dragged for the rest of the reunion. But the lack of enthusiasm in the blogs and on social media on top of the rumors that Phaedra was already fired has me feeling suspicious.
TELL US – DO YOU WANT PHAEDRA BACK ON RHOA NEXT YEAR?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Phaedra Parks Questions Kenya Moore’s Refusal To Pray With Her; Is She Over The Show? appeared first on Reality Tea.
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It feels like Andy Cohen has a night off as the host whenever Sonja Morgan appears on Watch What Happens Live. He doesn’t have to push her to say much, yet Sonja delivers with amazing information that he wasn’t even asking for. She always comes through.
And last night’s episode was even crazier because Real Housewives enthusiast Michael Rapaport was also in the clubhouse. Sonja revealed a tryst with an A-list actor, accused Dorinda Medley of “always being drunk,”and clarified those racy photos of her on the floor with that stripper. If you missed the episode, you need to look for it online. It was just that good, but if you’re already reading this, then I got you covered with the show’s essential moments.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE!
I didn’t think much of it when Andy had Sonja play a game where Sonja had to answer questions about who she would hypothetically date. Nevertheless, it got really interesting when Andy asks if she would date Jack Nicholson and and turned the tables by rhetorically asking, “Have I?” And then she was beyond chill about the whole thing when she nonchalantly declared, “He’s so much fun” while she reached out to high five Andy.
Andy and Michael were in total shock, but they were living for it. Sonja continued, “Who hasn’t [dated Jack Nicholson]? Don’t forget how old I am and don’t forget those days before cell phones with the old answering machines.”
When Andy asked if Sonja would ever go for Prince Charles she declared, “Too high profile. Don’t do that. That’s why I didn’t marry Prince Albert.” Is that really why? I don’t even care at this point. I stopped fact checking Sonja a long time ago and I don’t really care if her anecdotes from thirty years ago add up or not. I’m just here for the humorous stories.
After Sonja said that she wouldn’t date someone “too high profile,” Andy countered, “Jack Nicholson is pretty high profile.” Sonja dismissed it by saying, “That’s on the down low.” So of course, Andy couldn’t help stating the obvious: “Not anymore. Not really.” Definitely not.
RELATED: Sonja Morgan Slams Ramona Singer’s Rudeness
Sonja was so hilarious that I (almost) forgot about Real Housewives of New York….. until a viewer asked Sonja about that photo Dorinda showed during the last episode. Sonja continued her crusade against Dorinda by declaring, “I’m impervious to all that and we party all the time. Dorinda is always drunk at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Her acting that way at dinner parties – I’m used to that too.”
Sonja addressed the photo: “The thing about the strippers is I like to be a good guest. It was a bachelorette party and the stripper wasn’t actually turning me on or anything. All the other girls went first. Luann [de Lesseps] was with this whip like ‘Sonja. Sonja. Sonja.'” Why wasn’t this filmed for the show? It sounds like a meme-worthy scene to me.
Sonja continued, “I wasn’t drinking and I didn’t really want to, but I said, ‘Let me do a little doggy style.'” A few seconds later she added, “I had my clothes on.”
Because every single Real Housewives of New York interview comes back to Luann and Tom D’Agostino, a viewer called in and asked Sonja how likely it is that the couple will last and Sonja had surprising restraint when she answered. She redirected the question to Michael by saying, “I’ll leave that up to you because you don’t have to see her right away.”And I’m sure Luann is going to peeved about his answer: “If I was a betting man, I wouldn’t go further than mid-2018.” Yikes.
When the conversation moved to Sonja’s dating life, she revealed, “This season I’m dating Frenchie, but I’m also dating Rocco [Ancarola], but I’m intimate with Frenchie. One at a time.” I have no idea who Frenchie is, but I am all for watching a Sonja love triangle play out.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK SONJA REALLY DATED JACK NICHOLSON? DO YOU SIDE WITH DORINDA OR SONJA IN THEIR FEUD?
Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo
The post Sonja Morgan Says She Dated Jack Nicholson & Dorinda Medley Is “Always Drunk” appeared first on Reality Tea.
Megan Boone has grown up with The Blacklist. "When you're a part of any successful endeavor for any number of years--in my case four--you start it as one person and you sort of...
It seems Dorinda Medley has had enough. In a preview of the fourth episode of The Real Housewives of New York City season nine, Dorinda and Sonja Morgan come face-to-face for the first time since...
Photo courtesy of Kathryn Dennis
While season four of Southern Charm has been rather tame on screen, in the press and on social media things have been rather dramatic. While Kathryn Dennis has done her best to stay out of the fray and not comment on the firestorm, certain things have crossed the line, and she has agreed to sit down and answer some questions, on the record.
Amy F.: Hey Kathryn, I first want to ask you if there is anything off limits? Is there anything you can’t, or won’t talk about?
Kathryn Dennis: I’m not interested in naming names when it comes to those who have gone out of their way to smear me, because I don’t want to give them any press, but it’s pretty obvious who they are, but I’d like to get everything out there, so fire away!
Amy: You’ve obviously seen some of the articles and blogs saying that you are partying, using, unstable, and raging. Is there any truth to any of this? How often do you test, and does the court and/or Thomas Ravenel have access to these test results?
Kathryn: The rumors around town about partying are ridiculous. I have cut myself off from all of those people from when this all hit the fan last May. I fully admit it, I screwed up, but heading off to rehab helped me make a clean break. Ask any bar around town, and they will tell you they haven’t seen me. This is going to be public record soon, and yes, the court and Thomas have seen that I test regularly, and have not failed. The initial source is easy to guess, like in Harry Potter, “he who shall not be named!” Soon, all of the tests and more will be part of the public record, and if certain people have any class, they will be apologizing, because to say those things like that when it’s not true, is so wrong.
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Amy: Why do you think certain people are saying these things? Do they have an agenda?
Kathryn: Oh, an agenda, for sure. It’s part of the smear campaign, they are pushing a certain person’s agenda. Also, by using my name, people seem to get more attention in print. I live like a monk right now, and spend most evenings listening to audiobooks. I’m a serious homebody.
Amy: On social media, harsh comments are being made not just about you, but also about Saint and his health, especially the suggestion that he has FAS or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Is there anything about that you want to clear up?
Kathryn: Oh, for sure I’d like to say something about that. First of all, to talk about a child’s appearance is low, disgusting, sick and twisted. Next, Saint has hit every developmental milestone he is supposed to hit, and is doing very well. I did not drink or use drugs during my pregnancy. For people to look at a photo and diagnose a baby, and then talk about it online is revolting. Does anyone out there really believe that if there was any issue about FAS, that Thomas would just let it go? C’mon! If Saint had any health issues as a result of something that I had done wrong during pregnancy, I would have never gotten visitation back. Both kids are very happy and healthy, thank goodness!
Photo courtesy of Kathryn Dennis
Amy: Good point! So who on Southern Charm do you really trust right now?
Kathryn: Trust is a hard thing for me, but Danni and Naomie. Danni only agreed to sign her contract with Bravo to make sure someone had my back. I will never forget that she did that for me.
Amy: There have been rumors around that Thomas or Bravo paid for rehab, and that while you have the kids, Thomas has been paying your expenses and providing you with a nanny, is there any truth to this?
Kathryn: Me and my family paid for rehab, not Thomas and not Bravo. When I have the kids, there is no nanny at all, it’s just me and them. I do not get any child support or any kind of financial support from Thomas. Just before he take the kids, and left for Palm Beach, he gave me a one time $400 in cash, and then said it would be a shame if the kids had to fly back on my weekend, and maybe I could come out there. It felt like hush money, or go away money. To give me $400 cash made me feel worse than if he gave me nothing. And for the record, I am 100% responsible for my mounting legal fees that are going towards working out a fair custody arrangement.
Photo courtesy of Kathryn Dennis
Amy: People believe that when you have a name or lineage, that you are rolling in dough, are you Kathryn, the heiress, or do you have to work like the rest of us?
Kathryn: I am very proud of my family name and history, but the lineage does not come with a big ole check. So no, I am not an heiress, and yes, I have to work for a living like everyone else. My family has land, but it’s not a liquid asset. But I would choose that regardless. My family, we are hard workers. My grandfather fought for a lot of things, and changed a lot of thing for the people he represented. Despite having a family with a “name” they got that name through hard work.
Amy: Were you ever addicted to anything, drugs or alcohol or were you using drugs recreationally? I know you have had some back problems, was any of the drug usage as a result of that?
Kathryn: The drug use really started after my breakup with Thomas. It was a coping mechanism, shock. The family I thought I was building was gone. In retrospect I realize it was depression and anxiety. It was something to numb my pain, and deal with Thomas‘ threats that PIs were going to follow me everywhere, and take the kids. My whole life felt as if it were pulled out from under me. In rehab, they quickly discovered that it was not drugs for drugs sake, but rather that I was self-medicating depression and anxiety as almost a self-coping mechanism. I’ve learned a lot, and that it is better when I feel this way to just seek help from an actual doctor. I also learned a lot about myself through this process.
Photo courtesy of Kathryn Dennis
Amy: When you got back from rehab, took and passed your test, as fans saw in the preview, and got visitation restored, has there ever been an incident where the kids were taken from you?
Kathryn: There has not been any incident or problems of any kind when I have had the kids with me. Since I had visitation restored, there has not been anything that has happened. The agreement is still in place that I should have the kids with me every other weekend, and I am hoping that soon we can return to a joint custody.
Amy: And last question, what are your goals for the future with Kensie and Saint?
Kathryn: I want them to be happy and healthy, and I don’t want to miss anything in their lives from here on out. Rekindle that constant bond that has always been there. To be a part of the things I’ve been banned from, like their school, and their care. I want them to find what they love to do, and support them.
TELL US: DO YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD THING FOR KATHRYN TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT?
The post Exclusive: Candid Conversation With Southern Charm Star Kathryn Dennis – Setting The Record Straight On Rehab, Rumors, Motherhood, and More! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers barely got to know Eden Sassoon. Other than mentions of her long hugs, dating app connections, and her famous dad, we got nothing from her other than some drama with Kyle Richards and Kim Richards, which was way out of her league.
She had no chance arguing with the OG cast members. Unfortunately for Eden, she was on her Richards crusade thanks to false information from Lisa Rinna. Unfortunately for the viewers, Eden didn’t amuse us with anything other than that black wig she wore during the Hong Kong trip.
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Eden is trying to make up for the lackluster first season with her reunion appearance and her latest Bravo blog, but she is fighting a losing battle. Kyle is pretty much untouchable on this show.
Eden recalled, “Andy starts off by asking me why I was saying Kyle was being mean to me on Twitter. When I was watching the episodes back, I did feel Kyle was being mean to me. Every other confessional was about me being annoying as f— or weird or that I needed therapy. That is really hard to watch. You don’t have to like me, but you don’t have to be rude every week.”
How did Eden expect Kyle to respond when she asked her about her family’s history with alcohol during the first lunch they ever had? Was Kyle supposed to praise Eden in her on camera interviews after Eden insisted Kyle enabled Kim? Yes, this all stems from Rinna, but Eden didn’t handle it well. AT ALL.
Eden admitted, “I did think Kyle was being cold to me at Game Night, but maybe I just misread us not communicating much that night (because we didn’t know each other) as her being cold. I also tried to help Kim and Rinna actually hear each other when they started to fight. I was genuinely trying to help Kim be heard, and I think I may have expected Kyle to appreciate that more than she did.”
Maybe she should have waited until she actually knew Kim and Kyle to actually intervene in their relationship…a novel idea, apparently.
I completely agree with Eden for saying, “I truly do think Kim is in the wrong when she places all of her anger on me for repeating to [Lisa] Vanderpump what Rinna said. RINNA ALREADY SAID IT ON CAMERA! I had no one in this group who would listen to me beside Vanderpump and Rinna, and I wasn’t going to talk to Rinna who was constantly using me to create drama. #ThisIsntMyfault.”
It’s not Eden‘s fault, but she definitely made it worse and acted before she had any receipts. A total rookie mistake.
Eden stole the words from my Bravo-devoted group text when she wrote, “OMG THE BUNNY!” That was chilling encounter. I’ve been hating on Rinna this whole season, but that really was tough to watch. Eden declared, “I think it was calculated and mean, and she wanted to hurt Rinna by doing that on TV. Honestly, Kyle’s reaction said it all. Kyle was #Mortified Kim just did that. The whole thing was weird.” Yes it was.
TELL US – DO YOU WANT EDEN TO COME BACK NEXT SEASON?
[Photo Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo]
The post Eden Sassoon Thinks Kyle Richards Was Mean To Her & Kim Richards’ Bunny Stunt Was “Mortifying” appeared first on Reality Tea.
Three episodes in and The Real Housewives of New York City is already off to the races thanks to Ramona Singer and Bethenny Frankel. During a heated dinner conversation, Ramona asked if...The Real Housewives of New York train has been puttering slowly out of the station for the past two weeks, but last night, it finally picked up steam – thanks to Ramona Singer reminding us why she is the dirtiest player in the game, and Dorinda Medley heating up her cold war with Sonja Morgan. All of the drama ensues on a weekend trip to the Hamptons to celebrate Ramona’s birthday, where Tinsley Mortimer hopes to eventually find her sea legs with the new sea creatures women in her world. The many faces of Sonja will not make this an easy feat.
We open with the ladies settling in to their respective Hamptons homes – Carole Radziwill is bunking at Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl pad, Dorinda is staying at Luann De Lesseps’ house, Ramona is chillin’ at her abode because no one can abide her, and Sonja has somehow convinced unnamed “friends” to lend their house to Tinsley and her for the weekend (which they’ll arrive at the following day). Bethenny is hoping Carole can cool her jets on the election talk, while Luann is showing Dorinda how to literally cool her nether-regions on her super fancy crapper. “It’s the Cadillac of toilets!” squeals the soon to be ex-Countess.
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As Bethenny and Carole mull around in the kitchen, Bethenny reveals that Sonja’s been texting/calling her incessantly, with the express intention of trashing Luann and Dorinda. She’s STILL upset about the Berkshires snub last year, and she’s been tossing her rusty two cents about Luann and Tom into every interview she’s done lately (as part of her bigly popular way-off-around-the-corner-Broadway show).
Cut to Sonja’s home in NYC, where Tinsley wisely advises her to stop trashing her friends in the press – especially when it comes to Luann, who just wants to be supported in her (questionable) decision to marry Tom. She doesn’t care if he slept with every Jane, Dick, and Sonja on the UES! He’s making her a “Mrs.” and that’s that. Sonja cannot grasp this concept, though, lamenting how wroooooong it is for a “good friend” to marry her one-time LOVAH! She does regret not inviting Dorinda to her tea party, however.
Back in the Hamptons, Dorinda sarcastically jokes about not being invited to Sonja’s Mad Hatter’s party. Luann laughs, filling Dorinda in on Lady Morgan’s newest halfway house resident: Tinsley. But Dorinda is more concerned with a recent pic sent to her from Luann’s bachelorette party in which Sonja is being doggy-styled by a stripper. If this is a sober person, then Dorinda would like to see the sort of oxygen she’s been huffing. It should also be noted that these are live iPhone photos, which hilariously depict the stripper giving a jaunty little half-thrust with each pic flip. Bwahahahaha!
Over at Bethenny’s, Carole thinks about her upcoming election party – and the election itself (only three days away), which is giving her malaise. She wants a mellow weekend, so when Bethenny mentions seeing Ramona later, she sighs the sigh of a woman who knows that mellow is now decidedly out of the question. At least Ramona won’t be coming to Carole’s election party – because she won’t be invited! Bethenny just wants Carole to climb out of the election rabbit hole though, hoping she can enjoy at least 48 hours in the Hamptons without cutting a b*tch. Bethenny sighs, “Carole doesn’t want to talk to anybody who isn’t at her level of information.” That “anybody” is Ramona.
So, relaxation is in order. While Luann, her daughter Victoria, and Dorinda take Luann’s (Tom’s?) boat out for a spin, Carole and Bethenny get acupuncture. Bethenny likes faux-spirituality, and she also likes riling Carole up apparently, because she decides to talk to Carole about the ELECTION while they’re getting needled up. But Carole escapes Bethenny’s questions by focusing on her bigger issues – like toe fungus and crooked teeth. She’d like those fixed, please. Carole knows that Bethenny acts like nothing shakes her, but she’s got personal stress going on with her ex-husband that seems to have no end in sight. The therapist slaps hot cups on Bethenny’s back in an effort to suck the bad juju out of her skin.
Speaking of bad juju, Carole doesn’t think Luann will bring up the Tom dirt that Bethenny dredged up last year when they get together for dinner tonight. Luann prefers a wholesale “Jedi mind sweep,” says Carole, who will have Bethenny’s red-welted back no matter what fresh hell awaits them.
As Bethenny and Carole arrive at dinner later, they greet Ramona soon afterward, who’s arriving just off a visit to daughter Avery’s sorority parents’ weekend. Oh lordt! Ramona fancies herself the “cool mom” who is more of a friend to these fresh faced co-eds than a 50-year old sh*t starter who’s deeply embarrassed herself on national TV for eight years. Still reeling from the high of reliving her lost youth, she’s insulted immediately when Bethenny doesn’t scream YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL! at a pic she shares of Avery’s event. Maybe this is why Ramona is locked and loaded to attack in 3…2…1…
But before she mauls her prey, Luann and Dorinda arrive to mix it up a little. Dorinda brings up the dreaded election, which Carole shuts down just in case Ramona wants to add her single thought. When the conversation breaks into factions, Bethenny warns Ramona about Carole’s election party (wait – is she invited after all?). “She doesn’t want anyone there who’s not informed,” cautions Bethenny, which is a milder version of wearing an I’M WITH STUPID t-shirt and standing directly next to Ramona.
But Ramona has stinkier fish to fry. She awkwardly circles around to “stuff people bring up from your past” to Bethenny – i.e., some softcore porn starring Bethenny that’s surfaced in the press. *Record Scratch* Not missing a beat, Bethenny cops to the video, which she made 25 years ago when she was trying to be an actress. Mmmkay. Ramona plays the innocent act, wondering if Bethenny’s 6-year old daughter, Brynn, has been affected? Bethenny’s all, “Yeah, Diane Sawyer was at her playground.” She has no time for this messy broad, and Dorinda can’t even believe the balls on Ramona to go for the jugular before they’ve even finished half a drink!
Ramona gets huffy when she doesn’t get the reaction from Bethenny she’s looking for, complaining now that they can’t talk about ANYTHING! Not the election, not softcore porn! Hmmmmmph! Bethenny shields herself from Ramona’s bizarre barbs with the sharpest weapon she has: Her sarcasm. And this makes Ramona’s crazy eyes even crazier. The angle Ramona used for the attack is what is lighting a rage-fire in Bethenny’s soul right now, though. To use “concern” for her daughter as the conduit to conversation about idle gossip, says Bethenny, “is a new low for Ramona – and Ramona’s low is low already.”
Luann just wonders if Ramona’s been studying slapstick, given her pie-in-face delivery? No one can believe this chick is for real, but now the porn is on the table, so there’s no choice but to talk about it – which Bethenny good-naturedly does (or acts like she does) for a few minutes before moving on. Deflated by Bethenny’s lack of reaction, Ramona starts accusing Bethenny of not being willing to talk like “good friends” do. You know – about dogs, children, boobs on film – what have you! “Let’s face it, she’s being a B.I.” snarks Ramona, who I assume just created an acronym for one word with two letters? What. The. Actual. F**k. Ramona? Her addled brain is a box of pigs, squealing to scramble out of that lunatic skull.
Oh no. Just no, no, no, no, no. Now Luann inserts herself into the conversation after whispering with Ramona about Bethenny right in front of Bethenny. Ramona is at FULL TILT outraged now, calling Bethenny out on her overall behavior, which has been abhorrent in the past. Luann agrees that Bethenny is selfish and cold, but Bethenny claims to have zero f–ks to give about Luann’s opinion. Luann is like, meh. Who cares? Meanwhile, Dorinda ponders crawling under the table. She cannot believe sh*t has gone from zero to ten in three minutes, tops.
Ramona piles on that Bethenny didn’t engage with Tinsley at Sonja’s party (true), which Bethenny also cops to. She claims she was polite to everyone there, but that’s not enough for this table. “This is a witch over here,” Ramona snarks, finally giving up on her attempts to crack Bethenny. (Does Luann call her “wicked” in response? It’s tough to hear, but apparently so.) At these remarks, Bethenny decides it’s time to bounce. And bounce, she does – with Carole right behind. Luann notes that she’s been called worse than witch and wicked by Bethenny in the past, so turnabout is fair play. At least in the Countess’s book of etiquette.
Turning from that dumpster fire to a calmer scene elsewhere, Sonja and Tinsley finally arrive at their borrowed Sag Harbor estate. On the agenda? Settling into rooms and testing the beds for potential shagging capabilities. Well, that’s Sonja’s main objective, anyway. Feeling rejected and cast off is Sonja’s constant emotional state this season – and in life – so she’s taking this girl-about-town routine to the sheets. She wonders if these rooms are soundproof? Already growing visibly weary of Sonja’s desperation, Tinsley sighs that she wishes Sonja’s room at home was. Soundproof, that is. Cause don’t nobody want to hear Sonja’s postcoital sobbing.
The next day, Ramona, Luann, and Dorinda meet for a drink – and to discuss their new alliance against Bethenny (sans Dorinda). They rehash the night before, which Ramona claims was entirely shocking considering the kid gloves she used in approaching the subject! Delusion, thy name is Turtle Time. Dorinda agrees that Bethenny uses sarcasm as a defense, but also knows that Ramona’s cartoon sledgehammer approach left a lot to be desired. Luann’s just thrilled someone finally served Bethenny, considering what she dished out to her last year in the Berkshires.
Back at her house, Bethenny thinks about Ramona’s latest tirade, calling it worse than the Brooklyn Bridge incident, which saw Ramona telling Bethenny (eons ago) that she’s a bad person who will end up alone. OUCH. Carole agrees that Ramona is off her meds, her rocker, the chain. She needs a muzzle. What Bethenny needs is not to see her anytime soon, so she’s bowing out of the dinner at Ramona’s house later. No need for Berkshires 2.0: The Hamptons Chapter. Even Dorinda couldn’t MAKE IT NICE now, given Ramona’s glee over her rift with Bethenny.
Back at the winery, Dorinda reveals that she was sent some info about Sonja blabbing in the press (Where does Sonja get all of this mysterious PRESS?! – oh, Facebook! Makes sense) about Luann’s “tacky” wedding – where “she wouldn’t be caught dead” – and some sort of “horrifying” slander about Dorinda and John. Dorinda says it’s game on now, Lady Morgan! She can hardly wait to see the whites of Sonja’s eyes tonight, where she’ll be roasting her on a hot spit before Sonja can say International Luxury Brand.
“She’s got a hard on for me,” says Dorinda. “And now I’ve got a hard on back.”
Sonja is none the wiser, chatting back home with Tinsley about how she can’t wait to play nice with Dorinda again. Tinsley, acutely nervous about this sketchy situation, dreads the drama that might be awaiting her. She just wants to introduce herself and keep it moving. But being linked to Sonja as Tattered Socialite #2 comes with more baggage than she packed in her eight overnight Louis Vuittons. #FreeTinsley!
It’s the night of Ramona’s dinner party, and Dorinda looks both lovely and very Matrix-inspired. She’s ready for battle, b*tches! As the guests arrive, tension mounts. Until Sonja finally stumbles in with poor Tinsley in tow, unwittingly leading her new charge to the gladiators’ arena. Dorinda’s got a file on Sonja from a shady friend of a friend – which she tells Carole about, scaring her and her little journalism bones senseless! And she plans to use it tonight.
But we’ll have to wait until next week to see her whack Sonja upside the head with it. Or just order her to get whacked. Because, I don’t know, man. Dorinda suddenly seems like the kind of badass chick who could arrange that sh*t.
TELL US: WAS RAMONA OUT OF LINE WITH BETHENNY, OR DID BETHENNY DESERVE TO BE CALLED OUT? WILL SONJA BE ABLE TO GET BACK INTO DORINDA’S GOOD GRACES, OR IS IT GAME OVER?
Photo Credit: Bravo
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