Merge day is always an interesting one on Survivor, but this season's merge came on the heels of one of the nastiest, most inappropriate game moves of all time. In case you've...
Oh, Empire, you gloriously insane work of art. You never disappoint. As the series prepares to make its final descent into crazytown with the final five episodes of season three,...
Snore. How much did her agent pay for this? – Dlisted
Because when you’re broke, of course you go house hunting for a bigger mansion! – Celebitchy
Is this the real reason that La La Anthony is getting a divorce? – The Blemish
Serena Williams is pregnant! – Dlisted
8 PM EST –
Survivor (CBS)
Catfish (MTV)
My 600-Lb. Life (TLC)
Black Ink Crew (VH1)
9 PM EST –
Storage Wars (A&E)
Real Housewives of New York (Bravo)
Total Divas (E!)
Cooks vs Cons (Food Network)
Little Women: Atlanta (Lifetime)
Are You The One: Second Chances (MTV)
10 PM EST –
Little Women: Dallas (Lifetime)
11 PM EST –
WWHL (Bravo) – Sonja Morgan and Michael Rapaport
The post Gossip Links & Reality TV Schedule For April 19th appeared first on Reality Tea.
Sonja Morgan has a lot to get off her chest regarding last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York. In her blog, she shares her thoughts on former bestie Ramona Singer, new BFF Tinsley Mortimer and so much more, including some yacht talk and a few reality checks for Luann D’Agostino.
Sonja is happy to have newcomer Tinsley around. “Tinsley is such a shot in the arm for me and is refreshing. I need that kind of energy around me now that I’m in an empty nest. I’ve lost a lot of positive and motivating energy in the house without my daughter living at home anymore.”
On Luann D’Agostino, “All I said is no man would come between Luann and I. Never has. Whether she walked down the aisle or not, I’d be there for her. I’m not living in the past, she is, because those were old interviews back when the Regency Hotel incident went down, and it sounds like the Meddler is involved here.”
Sonja continued on her Bravo blog, “Jealous? Remember, Tom was my secret lover that I let no one know about for 10 years. I was sad to lose a best friend and dinner date and seemingly losing Luann. That’s what made me even sadder. Also on a personal note, just sad to still be alone and not ready for marriage. I’m just worried for Luann and hoping that they are both ready for marriage. This marriage. I’m going to speak my mind because I’m a real friend.”
Ramona has been a less than supportive friend to Sonja, she claims. “Carole and Bethenny tried to say something nice about my state of being and Ramona cuts them off and stirs the pot about Tinsley. After the fiasco that went down last year with Ramona saying that she’s newly single and is worried about her reputation and being friends with me, this was her opportunity to fess up and say I’m doing terrific and that she exaggerated about me. Now that she’s been single and out there for a while, she can certainly understand what it feels like. No? Her talks with the construction Mario seem to indicate that. And the hickey? Here we go.”
She snarks, “Ramona discussing Tinsley’s past says she “kind of Googled it.” That’s like saying you’re kind of pregnant. LMAO!”
Sonja takes issue with Bethenny‘s use of “roommate” to describe Tinsley living at her home. She blogs that she’s happy to share her huge home, “Bethenny saying Tinsley is my roommate is like back to school. Living at my place is certainly not like living in a dormitory. I’m sorry, it’s almost embarrassing and decadent one person living in this big house. I’m happy to share my good fortune, and besides, Tinsley needs a fresh start and arm around her. Frankly, Ms. Frankel, I was advised to hold on to my house as an investment for the moment, and real estate is a solid investment in 10065. Forbes stated best in the world. That’s re: your comment ‘get rid of the house.’ I only make money if I sell and buy more expensive. Which I can’t. I know you want me to be lighter emotionally. I get it. I do! I want to be. Soon. Soon enough.”
On Tinsley‘s list for her future man, Sonja agrees that lists are great, but don’t always work out like you plan. “Lists are important. I married a great guy who was perfect for me. And I won’t be marrying the same guy next time. My list is different now, even though I have the same values. That’s why I get Tinsley. We are like sisters. She’s not perfect, and I’m not either, but we will always be there for each other.”
Sonja is NOT looking for a husband. “Carole says she wouldn’t go to me for advice on husbands, but I haven’t been in the market for a husband these last 11 years. The record shows I had a young 5-year-old daughter living at home, was starting over and had new businesses. Not looking to be saved by a man. Or marriage. I’ve only thought about settling down for the next part of my life very, very recently. I am a lady who had a plan and followed through, yet enjoyed myself along the way, even if it meant dating young guys and getting sh–faced with my gay boyfriends. Sinatra said, “Whatever gets you through the night.” Dreams come through with a plan.”
On Ramona Singer‘s crap ass memory, “The Mad Hatter party idea came up because Gigi, my next-door neighbor, kindly offered to help me. Ramona has met my sister a thousand times, and she’s met Gigi before. Typical of Ramona not to remember. Never remembers anyone!” And Sonja also calls her rude for thinking that Gigi was doing her laundry there and also for forgetting that her dog Millou died – when Ramona attended the funeral!
She continues venting her frustrations over her former BFF, “Ramona disinvited me just as Dorinda did. Never stands up for me. Gurrrl don’t have Dorinda! You already invited me. You are friend jumping me. I’m allergic to that behavior. It can be flavor of the week, month, or year. Whatever. Don’t do it. Luann says she knows Dorinda for 10 years. There are people you KNOW and people you are close friends with. Remember who was there for you first and don’t take that for granted. Make new friends. That’s great, but I’m just sayin’.”
On why she reached out to Tinsley and understands what she’s been through, “Tinsley knows the talk is out there. She’s right to hit it head on and move on. That’s why I reached out to her when I saw the headlines. I know what it means to have a last name like Morgan or Mortimer and to have great respect for the family that you were married to and all that they represent, but then to have the negative press attached to yourself personally. It’s blindsiding and traumatic after living in discretion.”
She continues, “With my divorce, movie lawsuit and subsequent Chapter 11 reorganization, I was temporarily paralyzed. On one hand you’re so proud of the family that you were married to and you will always be family, but on the other hand as an individual you have to go on and take care of yourself independently. However, you’re right smack in the middle of the pop culture wave and the huge cocktail party that goes with it. It’s a very fine line to walk and not crash and burn. I just went through 11 years of rebuilding and rebranding with my daughter by my side, and it can be very isolating. I could feel for Tinsley when I read about her relationship going sour publicly in Palm Beach. I live in a fishbowl, too. It’s just behind closed doors.”
She has some more shade for Mrs. D’Agostino, “Luann, I missed out on the yacht? Tom doesn’t have a yacht. You borrowed it from a girlfriend who charters it out. Let YOU use it for exposure to your friends. You say I’m jealous of you and Tom? I kept Tom on the down low for a reason. I was looking to get married to Tom. He was my good friend. I love Tom as a friend. And he was a lover. I very much want to keep you both as friends. I don’t burn bridges.”
Sonja signs off by thanking viewers for their support and shares, “Tune in next week. We are just getting started.”
Tonight is an all new episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. “The ladies head to the Hamptons for a weekend of fun and an early birthday dinner at Ramona’s. Carole is staying at Bethenny’s and the only thing she can talk about is the election. Splitting her weekend between Luann’s and Ramona’s homes, Dorinda prepares to see Sonja for the first time since learning about the gossip she has been spreading about her for months . Ramona takes the wrong approach with Bethenny when asking about her film role from 20 years ago.”
TELL US – IS RAMONA BEING A SHADY SHIT-STIRRER? OR IS SHE A GOOD FRIEND TO HAVE AROUND?
Photo credit: Bravo/RHONY
The post Sonja Morgan Slams Ramona Singer’s Rudeness; Says Tinsley Mortimer Is Like A Sister appeared first on Reality Tea.
Bow Johnson's family just got even more interesting. Rashida Jones is guest starring in next week's episode of Black-ish as Bow's (Tracee Ellis Ross) sister, Santamonica....
Get ready for the Big Apple Battle of the OGs, Real Housewives of New York City fans. Starting tonight, Ramona Singer and Bethenny Frankel, who were a united front for much of last...
Eve is officially back! 17 years after Tyra Banks first starred as the doll who came to life in Disney Channel's Life-Size--and nearly three years after announcing plans to revisit...
A rose by any other name wouldn't look as sweet... OK, so that's not how the famous saying goes, but come on, how gorgeous does Rachel Lindsay look in the first official poster...So what Episode of Survivor: Game Changers is this anyways? Technically the Premiere episode this season was a back-to-back night, meaning that it should have been “Episode 1” and “Episode 2.” Last week was technically the sixth “week” of the show, but was actually the seventh episode. Adding even more confusion, tonight will feature another back-to-back episode situation – yes, two hours of Survivor coming tonight – giving us what is actually “Episode 8” and “Episode 9” of this season, even though this is really just the seventh “week” the show has aired. Confused yet?
Number the episode however you want, but tonight will feature two episodes, which presumably means two Tribal Councils and two people leaving the show. There was a lot to digest following last week’s highly controversial episode, an episode that made national headlines after Jeff Varner outed Zeke Smith as being transgender. If you haven’t yet listened to my exclusive Podcast interview with Varner from last week, what are you waiting for? You can access the full interview and link to the Podcast here. You can also read last week’s Recap here.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
I don’t want to re-hash the events of last week, as it was surely a dark moment in the show’s history. But the story didn’t end when the credits rolled. It has come out that Jeff Varner was actually abruptly fired from his job last Thursday, a truth Varner found out during his grueling press day. The real estate agency he worked for apparently wanted nothing to do with the controversy or with Varner, and simply let him go, despite the fact that Varner currently was working with several clients who were mid-way through housing transactions. Think of this what you will.
As we pivot back into the game of Survivor, we will definitely see the aftermath from this emotional Tribal Council play out in the show’s opening minutes. Will this experience galvanize Zeke‘s relationship with the others? And will this bond be strong enough to survive the merge? Because the merge WILL happen tonight, combining the remaining 13 players into a tribe of one.
The merge won’t come without yet another game twist though, as revealed in the official synopsis of tonight’s episode(s) from CBS:
“There’s a New Sheriff In Town” – The merge brings another twist in the game that leaves two castaways out of the celebratory feast, on a two-hour SURVIVOR, Wednesday, April 19 (8:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
Just to reset your minds, let’s go over the dynamics of the remaining players. First off, there are currently three Immunity Idols in play, two possessed by Tai and one by Troyzan…to the viewer’s knowledge, none of these are known by others. Troyzan’s Idol shields him a bit from being an immediate threat to become the first member of the jury, but Michaela is the one I fear for. She has now made the merge but has not been shown as having a strong bond or alliance with anybody. That could work in her favor, if others see her as a wild card and an extra vote for their team. But because Michaela is such a physical threat, I fear that she may be an early, easy target post-merge.
Unbelievably, the first post-merge Tribal Council will be the very first of the season for Cirie…a Survivor legend and Hall of Famer who has basically had the chips fall perfectly in her favor for the first 20+ days in the game. Who says it doesn’t take luck to win Survivor? She has been flying off-the-radar thus far on TV, but it’s only because she hasn’t had to cast a vote yet. Will the others target Cirie right away, knowing that she is so dangerous? Or will Cirie continue to blend into the background? This season thus far has been all about getting rid of the “big fish,” so if that’s any indication, Cirie could be in trouble and soon.
Speaking of “big fish,” Ozzy has reached the portion of the game that is the toughest for Ozzy to survive. One of the all-time great physical challenge beasts in the history of the game, the first time Ozzy doesn’t win an Immunity Challenge could signal his demise in the game. Are the others really going to let Ozzy slide deeper into the game, where a challenge or two might be the only things standing in his path towards a million bucks? I bet not. Look for Ozzy to be a huge target right out of the gates. On that note, Brad Culpepper, who is literally twice the size of any other contestant out there (and thrice as big as Tai), is going to be in serious trouble as well and will probably not be allowed to go too far given that he is a major threat both physically – and this season – strategically.
We will know more by later tonight! Be sure to check back in here for my full Recap/Reaction to tonight’s episode and you won’t want to miss the newest, double-sized edition of the FilmSurvivor Podcast right here at RealityTea on Thursday, where I will be speaking with BOTH contestants (and assumed first two members of the jury) voted out of Survivor: Game Changers. The best way to get all of my Survivor coverage and movie reviews is to follow me on Twitter – @tomsantilli – or on Facebook.
TELL US – WHO IS IN THE BEST POSITION HEADED INTO THE MERGE? WHO IS IN THE WORST POSITION? AND HOW WILL OTHERS REACT TO ZEKE FOLLOWING LAST WEEK’S TRIBAL COUNCIL?
Photo Credit: CBS/Monty Brinton/Robert Voets/Timothy Kuratek/Jeffrey Neira
The post Survivor: Game Changers Preview: Double Episode Coming Tonight appeared first on Reality Tea.
The Sesame Street parody you've been waiting for is here: Meet The Real Grouches. Yes, Sesame Street is taking on The Real Housewives franchise in a three-part parody (yes, it's like most...
Unfortunately for Luann de Lesseps, Season 9 of Real Housewives of New York has continued with the Tom D’Agostino bashing from last season. And I’m sure the former countess is not done publicly defending her relationship. Thankfully new housewife Tinsley Mortimer arrived during the last episode and hopefully (for Luann’s sake) she will give the fandom something else to talk about.
Sure, it is going to take a lot for anything Tinsley says or does to supersede Tom as a hot topic of conversation, but a lot of viewers are curious to learn more about her. Even though Tinsley is new to the show she’s actually known Luann and Sonja Morgan for years, so it does make sense that she is a part of the cast now.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE!
Weirdly enough, Luann didn’t mention Tom or her wedding once in her last blog, but she did have nice things to say about Tinsley and Sonja’s party.
Luann revealed, “I’ve known Tinsley for many years, and I can assure you there’s more to her than an arrest record! I believe in second and third acts, and I wish Tinsley all the best as she settles back into New York social life.”
Everybody loves a comeback story, and so far, I love how candid Tinsley is. Hopefully she isn’t judged unfairly and she ends up being a solid edition to the cast.
RELATED: Luann’s Daughter Victoria Arrested For DUI In The Hamptons
Aside from my confusion over Ramona Singer’s freak out when she found out Bethenny Frankel got two dogs and didn’t tell her, the other thing I didn’t get about the second episode of the season was why all the women wore black to a party that requested colorful ensembles on the invitation. Why is it so tough to come through on that one?
Luann agreed, “When I accepted Sonja’s invitation to her Mad Hatter tea party to introduce Tinsley to the girls, the invite said ‘colorful dress.’ What did some of the girls not understand about colorful? Is black the new floral?”
The former countess continued, “I’ve always said that a great guest makes every effort to participate in whatever the hostess has planned, and in this case, vintage Ralph Lauren was the way to go.” I agree. Plus themes make events more fun- at least in my opinion.
Luann ended with, “Until next week, don’t be afraid to show your true colors!”
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TINSLEY SO FAR?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Luann de Lesseps Doesn’t Want You To Judge Tinsley Mortimer Based On Her Arrest appeared first on Reality Tea.
Well, that's just one reason to get a car wash. Judging from star Dylan Minnette's car, it's clear 13 Reasons Why has had a major impact on its viewers since its March 31...Jenelle Evans is pretending to be a grown up adult again – or at least she’s trying to play that role on TV! Despite juggling custody battles, baby daddies, babies galore, the Teen Mom 2 star brags that life is perfect – like for real. And she definitely has her act together this time too! [collective eye roll!]
With three kids (and three different daddies), Jenelle has decided the baby factory is definitely closed. Jenelle and fiancé of the month David Eason thought about a fourth kid, but then they remembered that parenthood is like so challenging! “David and I talked about it one day recently and how complicated things can get with Kaiser and Ensley together. They remind us why we are done.”
“But I love it,” Jenelle adds, “and wouldn’t trade my role as ‘mom.'” Not again, anyway.
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Thankfully control freak David gives Jenelle “a lot of help” juggling her newborn, her every other weekend toddler, and her weekend son Jace.
All Jenelle’s custody dramas can really wear a girl out – so exhausting! She’s still battling her mom Barbara Evans for custody of Jace, and her ex Nathan Griffith to co-parent Kaiser, 3.
“I make sure that I get Jace every weekend and have Kaiser every other weekend,” says Jenelle. She makes that precious time count with lots and lots of selfies and photo-ops! “I have also been trying to take family photos lately of everyone together. I don’t want anyone to feel excluded from our family.”
Everyone except Babs – but that’s her own fault! “I have no idea why my mom feels this way towards David, but I’m thinking it might be a jealously issue. David has never done anything wrong to her,” defends Jenelle, “and still doesn’t really speak to her to this day, even though he disagrees with a lot of things she believes.” Like being a responsible parent?
RELATED – Jenelle Not Planning To Invite Babs To Her Dream Wedding!
Jenelle and Babs are back in court next month. This time Jenelle is finally ready to be Jace’s full-time mom for the first time ever.
She keeps Jace out of her fights with Babs – cause Jenelle forgets that we watch this thing called TEE VEE. “Jace doesn’t have a ‘side,'” swears Jenelle. “He loves me and my mother equally and that will never change. I’m OK with that, too. I tell Jace and explain that me and my mom try to get along, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I don’t argue or even raise my voice in front of him anymore. If she makes me frustrated, I’ll simply hang up—no need for all of that extra stress.”
OMG – Jenelle you’re like such a super mature awesome mom! Like so responsible! You totally have finally figured out birth control, and like family planning, and like David is SUCH a good role-model! Jenelle sells him to E! News like he’s a contestant on The Bachelor. Criminal records and lost custody probably mean you won’t get a rose...
“David is such a humble man and has never disrespected me. He can handle me so well” Jenelle gushes. “He’s perfect to me.” Thankfully somebody took him off the market and spared the rest of us, but let’s see if Mr. Perfect actually makes it down the aisle with Ms. Less Than Perfect.
Jenelle also touts David’s strong family values! His priorities! His excellent parenting! Where’s his son he can’t see? “He loves to make sure to tell them the importance of school, staying out of trouble, worrying about being a kid,” continues Jenelle. “David also likes to make the kids go outside to play versus being stuck inside playing video games, which Jace absolutely loves to do.”
Well, since she’s found the perfect man, and the perfect parenting balance, Jenelle is also ready for the perfect career – medical billing is like so 2 seasons and 2 menz ago. Now it’s totally her dream to flip houses! Watch out Tarek and Christina… OH wait!
RELATED – Jenelle Tells Her Life Story In A New Book!
Things are so perfect for Jenelle, there’s no way she’d cheat with shady ex- Kieffer Delp! After Jenelle posted a photo of Enlsey, which had some fans commenting that her skin tone looked more like Kieffer’s than David’s, Jenelle shot down rumors he’s secretly Ensley’s father. Jenelle blamed an Instagram filter which “made her look dark” and denied the speculation as “ridiculous” to The Dirty.
The photo in question… [Credit]
In other Jenelle dramas she is not looking forward to the possibility of Briana DeJesus joining TM2. “I don’t understand why MTV wants to add a girl to the mix that was never part of our 16 & Pregnant season,” Jenelle complained. “None of this makes sense, but it’s whatever.”
Jenelle “dislikes” Briana and blames her for starting drama with “comments she has made about me in the past.” Yeah – Jenelle doesn’t want another train wreck invading her turf!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK JENELLE’S LIFE IS FINALLY BACK ON TRACK? SHOULD BRIANA JOIN TM2?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
The post Jenelle Evans Brags About Her Perfect Life With David Eason; Denies Cheating With Kieffer Delp appeared first on Reality Tea.
Spring is upon us, but why enjoy the great outdoors when you can stay inside and watch Netflix? The streaming giant announced the titles it's adding and removing in May. Brad Pitt has a few...
Paul "PK" Kemsley made quite an impression on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans this season. Unfortunately, it wasn't a good one. In his wife Dorit Kemsley's first...
After such an epic saga of drama between Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis, it’s easy to forget that she also got with Shep Rose during the first season of Southern Charm. One person who didn’t forget was Shep himself who remembers that era pretty fondly and has no issue discussing it. Not that Shep really has an issue discussing anything. The man is an open book. He was really made for reality TV.
Shep discussed his upcoming love triangle with new cast members Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner– which I cannot wait for since Austen is the only formidable opponent that Shep has faced when it comes to wooing the ladies. He attempted to explain the odd dynamic between him and Craig Conover. And he even reminded us all that there was a person named Jenna in Season 1 of the show.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE
Shep appeared on the very first episode of Bachelor alum Olivia Caridi’s Mouthing Off podcast. As reality TV star herself, she knew exactly what to ask and Shep had no qualms answering everything she threw his way.
Olivia asked about Jenna King from the show’s first season- you know, the girl with the mohawk, but zero story line. Shep said, “I like her tremendously” and I thought he was going to stop at the polite answer, but he had more to add: “Unfortunately, she was outrageous in life, but she sort of dialed it back when the cameras were on for whatever reason.” Lame. He also shared, “And then she started dating the lead singer of a band and now she’s in LA. She lives a fabulous lifestyle.”
The conversation really got interesting when the two of them discussed Shep’s hookup with Kathryn– which seems like it happened a whole life time ago. Shep recalled, “Kathryn was quite sprightly. It was a lot of fun.” He described it as “wild, fun, and memorable in all the right ways.” Olivia asked where Kathryn ranked among Shep’s sexual conquests, and it was tough for him to narrow down such a long list, but he admitted, “she’s up there” and got a little more specific when he said, “top ten percent experiences. I remember it quite fondly.” I really need to watch that first season again. That was quite the era.
Onto some new stuff, Shep admitted, “I get involved in a love triangle like an idiot.” He kept it real and added, “It’s my fault. I’m the bad guy in this one.” I can’t really believe that. I feel like even when Shep does something wrong (which happens quite often), he’s still such an endearing character. It would take a lot for the viewers to turn on him.
It got even juicier though. Shep teased what we should expect to see in this love triangle with him, Austen, and Chelsea: “I tried to kiss a girl and he was sort of seeing her, but he refused to say he was seeing her. It was sort of like having your cake and eating it too.” That doesn’t make Shep sound totally villainous, but I guess we have to see how it’s all edited.
Shep recalled, “Cameran [Eubanks] was like ‘She likes you maybe’ and I just sort of fell into the trap and I tried to make out with her when they were sort of seeing each other, which is uncool.” Thanks, Cameran. Shep owned up to his mistake, but he also explained that Austen wasn’t exactly angelic in the scenario: “He kind of heard about it and spread some rumors about how it all went down that weren’t true. And I’m like ‘Listen, I’ll admit I was wrong, but you can’t embellish it to make me some kind of monster.” He admitted, “I can’t believe I got involved.” Poor Shep, but I’m definitely excited to watch this all unfold.
Olivia questioned Shep about his strange relationship with Craig. She asked, “Why are you and Craig not into each other?” Shep declared, “We are nothing alike. He’s like a girl. He takes an hour to get ready. He’s sort of sensitive and I’m just like a big ape walking through life, grunting, and more like a man’s man.” I actually thought that they didn’t get along because they were so similar, but then again I don’t actually know these guys. Shep clarified, “We get along. I give him a hard time. He’s like my little brother or something. It’s weird.”
TELL US- WHY DO YOU THINK THERE’S SO MUCH TENSION BETWEEN SHEP AND CRAIG?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Shep Rose Discusses His Hook Up With Kathryn Dennis, His Love Triangle With Austen Kroll, & His Tension With Craig Conover appeared first on Reality Tea.
The times, they are a-changing for Kimmy Schmidt. The first full trailer for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt season three is here, highlighting the humor you've come to know and love from the series...
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion, Kim Richards de-gifted the blue bunny Lisa Rinna gave her as a peace offering baby gift for her grandson.
Like WHO does that? Can you even imagine the behind-the-scenes of this blue bunny? Of how Kim has kept it stashed away somewhere for months and months, just plotting how she can use it to best Lipsa. Probably talking about it ad nauseum to Kyle Richards, and her poor daughter Brooke, constantly pretending to listen to the travail of Rambles and Lipsa and Bad Vibes Bunny. Kim moving in to her new condo and bringing the bunny with her, making a big deal to hide it from Kingsley, (I mean and Hucksley); planning and plotting to de-gift it and then WHOOSH – making it reappear at the reunion.
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If Kim could do magic, she would have turned it into a werepuppy – which is clearly her spirit animal. A mythical trollishly evil little sprite that almost looks cute and innocent, but has these fangs that it oh-so-subtly constantly bares. For a reminder, here is Kim holding a werepuppy. At one point, before Bravo got with the program, I was so desperate for a photo of Kim holding said werepuppy I took a picture of my TV screen.
Of all the evidence and behind-the-cushion reunion reveals – from all franchises – KimKillah Rambles yanking that blue bunny, still in its now-rumpled wrapper and handing it back to Lisa with a self-satisfied smirk, was hands down the most ridiculously shocking reveal ever. The funniest part was that Kim was actually dressed like a Christmas tree tinsel – or maybe it was a foil cupcake liner – this sparkly little orb of hate, holding out contaminated blue bunnies. It was like something out of The Matrix. And in response, Lipsa shut her lips and burst into tears. Like WHAT?!
RELATED – RHOBH Reunion Part 1 Recap: Nastygrams
Poor Blue Bunny was the true victim last night for all the emotions and insinuations and junk just heaped on its soft little pastel smooshie shoulders. Poor thing just wants to give love and be loved, and instead, it has become a talisman of Housewives partisanship – it’s the opposite of the Velveteen Rabbit.
Of course, that wasn’t the only shocking KimKillah reveal; she once dated Donald Trump. In a strange way, I cannot imagine a more perfect pairing. Can you? Bravo showed a photo of Kim and The Donald on a date, each of them sporting There’s Something About Mary hair, and I swear Kim was wearing the same choker from the season 1 finale when she and Kyle caterwauled in the limo over stolen “goddamn” houses. The ladies of RHOBH never disappoint in the memories department. Oh wait… Sometimes they have bad behavior amnesia, or Lyme Brain 60% functioning, which has even infected PK. #InvisibleDiseases #GetOutTheWhiteBathrobe I blame the blue bunny. For everything.
I laughed out loud two times last night – once was Blue Bunny reveal (and Blue Bunny, by the way, makes delicious ice cream – they should create a Kim Richards flavor: sour grapes, sticky peanut butter dog treats that clash with grapes, and white wine); the second moment was when Lisa calmly rebuffed Kim’s attempt to explain being superstitious.
Yes, I have so many things to say about this bunny, and its larger appendage Rambles, who rambled in non-sensical circles alternating between how much she loves Lipsa and how there’s hope and not really because the bunny has bad vibes and Kim is so not about bad vibes, which is why she had to get that bad vibes bunny out of her house before it poisons her love bottle. Kim is now about peace, love, and goodwill. To Kingsley or Lord Voldemort maybe. To the rest of us: Beware the KimKillah. Her bites require long walks down narrow hallways where at the back, in a badly lit dressing room, one’s composure lies.
At one point, Kim also had a full conversation with her imaginary friends about how it excites her to see Lipsa and her “big heart” “OWN IT!” in so many ways, but Kim doesn’t know what’s real and not, then she handed over the bunny. As Lipsa cried real, actual liquid-containing tears that spilled soap opera-esquely over her lacquered immobile cheeks, Kim leaned forwarded to growl that she was happy to see Lipsa finally feeling hurt like she had hurt her. That is how good vibes karma over bad vibes bunnies? Yep, deciphering Rambles is impossible.
NOW this will be an unpopular opinion but I don’t care – I think Lipsa handled herself very well with Kim. Her reactions seemed real – so ha Kim! – and it made Kim’s trifling attempt to bait her – that bunny was like taunting an alligator with a hot dog because you want a reason to retaliate after it bites – all the more transparent. Like as transparent as that suffocation cling film around poor Blue Bunny. Even worse was Kyle sitting there like a twelve-year-old, chewing on her fingers and hiding behind her hands, as if she didn’t know in advance about the bunny de-gifting.
Instead, Lipsa calmly walked away, and then the BOOM – as Rambles comes after her clutching that bunny again and asks to talk, Lisa cooly answers “No,” and continues on her way. I cheered. I literally whooped. Mostly cause I am so tired of Kyle trotting out THE VINDICATION OF KIM RICHARDS every g-d season. It’s not possible to vindicate Kim, because she’s a mean and nasty person, who wants to hurt, upset, manipulate, and unsettle others, and refuses to take accountability.
Well, I suppose we also have to talk about Erika Girardi‘s nonexistent panties being in a constant bunch. Maybe she should’ve taken a tip from Kim and de-gifted them to Dorit Kemsley, triumphantly yanking them out from under her dress with a “No thanks – I’m fine freeballing – cause apparently PK is desperate for a lil’ somein-somein’ to stare at, and like a beautiful painting, it’s worth more than a glance.”
If anything demonstrates that Erika is the ice queen she professes to not be, it’s that MONTHS – literal months and 42 million apologies later – she is still Eileening on over those underpants! Girl – how many f–ks can you give?! Erika even considers that Lisa Vanderpump was behind the plot to panty Erika. C’MON… I doubt LVP gives enough f–ks.
Finally, it becomes so bad, Kyle erupts as the voice of reason to explain that the issue is Erika feeling like the butt of a joke – a joke that she was not in on. I think we all get that – initially, I was Team Erika (and I’m still Team PK is gross – especially the scene of him engaging in “Locker Room Talk” at the end of the finale party), but I think PK and Dorit have realized that they embarrassed Erika, and themselves, on TV and honestly what more could be said about invisible underpants and the singer who didn’t wear them? It’s time to stop bickering over britches! Which, as it turned out, spiraled into ALTERNATIVE FACTS and a WITCH HUNT from Lipsa who Kim Richards’d Dorit and PK by insinuating they did something bad at their dinner parties.
It was gross watching Lipsa admit it was a retaliatory comment, because she was mad about being called crazy, schizophrenic, and a Xanax addict for bickering with Dorit, but Andy decides we have to finish talking about that next week.
Erika is correct – PK needs a diamond next season, but alas, it was time to “gett’em off the stage” and LET THE BUNNY GAMES BEGIN!
But first, there was a nice moment when all the ladies, encouraged by Eileen Davidson, complimented Dorit on her clothing collection and encouraged her to re-start it and not lapse into PK’s bulky shadow, which eclipsed her with grimy jokes. Erika especially gets that – after all, she was so desperate to shine beyond Tom she created Erika Jayne! Perhaps if Dorit had designed a pair of panties for Erika and presented them, things could’ve gone differently? Alas, there is always next season when pantygate will once again rear its ugly head as Dorit and Erika “work on building a friendship.” SLOOOOOWLY. Which is also how the Titanic sunk. It hit an iceberg, and went down very slowly as the Erika Jayne back-up dancers gyrated on to the strains of “How Many F-cks Do I Give?” (ALL OF THEM!)
Then, Andy replaced the largely palatable PK, with two women that should’ve stayed home stroking crystals or Kingsley. That would be Kim and Eden Sassoon. Eden once gave Lipsa a “Love Bottle” (then Kim de-gifted her a bunny). They should pass it around and spread that love – if only to cancel out Bad Vibes Bunny.
Eden seems so fake. LVP knew Vidal Sassoon, which made her feel kindly towards Eden, but Kim and Kyle share no such affinity. Kyle complains that Eden was nice at her house, and she really liked her, then Eden subjected her to Sobriety Inquisition and it got creepy. True dat.
Kim now blames Eden for repeating Lipsa’s “mostly sober” comments because EDEN spread them around. To LVP. Hilariously, Kim softened her stance toward Eden after Eden admitted that she looked up to Kim as a kid. Then Eden faded into reunion obscurity while Kim levitated; radiating vengefulness and foaming at the mouth over her issues with Lipsa
When Rambles and Lipsa are in an argument, there’s really no winner or loser – neither of them is a particularly sympathetic character, but last night, Lipsa came out looking better, less calculated and more earnest. Earlier, when she admitted to fabricating the coke allegations against PK and Dorit, I was like, “WHAT A B Lisa Rinna is!” But in how she handled KimKillah, I was impressed. I need a Xanax smoothie – BRB.
I swear Kim is like “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall… how can I be the craziest of all?” I have to believe she’s a witch – how else does one explain black magic with blue bunnies? Or the tilt-a-whirl of rambling emotions – Kim shrieked that Lipsa is all “Lies, Cries, and Denies!” but five seconds later admits to liking her. Andy tried to get her to react, but Lipsa decided she’d already said enough about Kim (which is the last thing Kim wants), because they had reached a resolution.
Eileen also stayed silent (for once!), but rolled her eyes, because really there is no other appropriate response. Kim has moved on and moved away and moved towards and spread big love and open hearts, but no friendship towards Lipsa, who just sat there silently, watching it all unfold until it culminated in a bunny.
Kim is “superstitious” and she felt Lipsa’s bunny came from an insincere place, so she couldn’t allow her grandson near it. Kim casually admitted that she could have regifted it, but where’s the fun in that?! Instead she decided to teach Lipsa a lesson about how words are responsible for killing blue bunnies and all the love a friendship with KimKillah could give.
RELATED – Kim Explodes On Twitter Over Lisa & Eden!
It was … bizarre as f–k. Like probably the weirdest thing I’ve seen on this show and THAT is saying A. LOT.
Kim of Kingsley dangled a carrot, though – while she’s not ready to accept the bunny yet, she invites Lipsa to work on healing herself, then attempt to offer it to Kim again. At that point, MAAAYBE it will be accepted. Like Kim is some sort of goddess requiring offerings. When Lipsa, speechless – her lips shut for the first time ever, got emotional, Kim mockingly snarked, “You don’t have to cry over it.” Then LVP took the opportunity to dig in the knife by suggesting there’s “still hope.” Cause that’s what de-gifting a blue bunny means in the parallel universe of RHOBH.
This was the plan: Kim wanted Lipsa to feel bad, because Lipsa hurt her first! Instead of reacting, a parallel-universe Lipsa calmly stood up, announced she needed a break, and hopped away leaving that poor dejected bunny on the side of the stage. Eileen follows, and in her dressing room, Lipsa remains eerily calm in assessing that all of “this” bad vibe bunny nonsense is about Kim. Eileen – whether she’s a behind-the-scenes manipulator or not – is right that it was calculated!
On stage, the ladies all coddle Kim – they understand she’s “superstitious.” Poor, poor Kim, right?! Kim complains that Lipsa always plays the victim (takes one to know one!). Backstage, Lipsa shrugs that Rambles has shown her true colors – and those true colors are suffocated blue bunny.
Kyle, whose sole role in life is vacuuming up Kim’s messes and pretending to be appalled by her sister’s behaviors, demands Kim go explain to Lipsa. “Is she going to take the bunny?” Andy needlessly asks, because obviously she is. That blue bunny is a talisman of all the hate Kim projects onto Lipsa, but Lipsa is done receiving it and dejects Kim’s request to deglaze the bunny situation with a simple “No.” And like the professional hustling brawler she is, it’s back to her day job.
I bet Lipsa can return Blue Bunny to Nordstrom and get her money back. KA-CHING!
TELL US – TEAM LIPSA OR TEAM RAMBLES? HOW MANY F–KS DOES ERIKA GIVE?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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Get ready for The Keepers. Netflix's latest true crime series is coming May 19 and tells the tale of an unsolved murder of a nun from Baltimore. Directed by Ryan White of The Case...
What exactly is a Girlboss? Besides a Netflix series created Pitch Perfect's Kay Cannon with Charlize Theron executive producing and starring Britt Robertson in a role inspired by Sophia...Good viewers, I regret to inform you that we will be subjected to reliving a moment that no one should have to suffer through twice in this recap today – the “boudoir photo shoot” that Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] thought was a brilliant idea. This week, Little Women: LA also brought us an extended version of Terra Jole’s argument with Briana, and bonus footage of new gal, Mary, who Elena Gant decides to haze. But all is not lost! For Terra takes the group on a dildo tour.
We pick up at tequila tasting, where Terra and Briana are going at it over the women’s march – but really, their issues go about 62 floors deeper than that. Briana has a nasty habit of being cool to your face, and very uncool behind your back. And Terra’s not here for it anymore. Jasmine Sorge isn’t either, it turns out, as she jumps in with questions about Briana “stealing” Terra’s manager. Jasmine isn’t drinking the Terra Kool Aid, as Briana surmises, as much as she’s seeing the light after how dirty Briana did her friend Lisa (because it was Lisa’s fault Matt was sending her inappropriate texts, remember?).
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Elena is back from Russia, where she was burying her father, who unexpectedly died of a heart attack. She meets Terra for a walk, filling in her in on how sad the experience has been for her, and how emotionally mixed up, given the complicated relationship she had with her dad. Terra relates to Elena’s experience, having lost her father recently as well. Elena cries as Terra encourages her to keep her father’s memory alive for her children. She’s devastated her boys will never know him.
The ladies move on to discussing Mary’s fashion show, for which she’s scouting little people models. Elena already has her guard up, wondering whether she’ll like Mary OR her fashion sense. Prediction: Neither.
Speaking of Mary, she meets Briana out for coffee. (Is she a legit new addition to the show? God knows these women need some fresh blood!) Under the guise of wanting to “get to know” Mary, Briana slides into the convo the fact that SHE is an aspiring model, and has even booked a Maxim photo shoot! Mary smells the desperation a mile away, but sails past it to discuss Tonya Banks, who came hard for her at tequila night. Mary is wary of Tonya, and thinks she – and her supposed “business” – are shady.
Briana wants Mary to know who brings the real shade to the picnic, though: Terra. But Terra is Mary’s friend, and has invited her to contribute to a Sexual Health Expo event. Briana has been invited too (as has the entire group), but she’s hesitant to participate. Mary thinks Terra reached out to her to move on, but Briana is once bitten, twice shy. For good reason.
Over at Tonya’s house, she and her daughter, Angelique, are going through Tonya’s old line of Little Boss Body Activewear. She’s gonna do a freebie of old sh*t when you buy her new sh*t for the low price of…who the hell knows? Because the line isn’t complete yet. She tells Angelique about Mary, who she thinks is a try-hard and a big mouth. (Is Tonya rewatching scenes of herself circa seasons 1-4?) The real issue, however, is how much Terra likes Mary, and how supportive Terra is of Mary’s business. After dogging Tonya’s fashion line last year – remember the lotus logo? – Tonya is still bitter at Terra. Again, for good reason.
Jasmine and hubby Chris are out at a jumpy play place with their kiddos, already talking about baby #3 – well, Jasmine is! She fills Chris in on the Terra/Briana drama, and how she’s pretty much done defending Briana. Jasmine has been down for the cause ever since she met Briana, but times have changed. And Matt’s dirty dog behavior – along with Briana’s incessant defending of it – hasn’t helped matters. Jasmine will be attending Terra’s Sex Expo though. She’s a team player.
Decidedly NOT a team player is Elena, who comes with Terra to visit Mary in her fashion hub. Mary compliments Elena, saying how nice it is to meet another beautiful woman who might wear one of her dresses. Elena’s all, UM – WHO IS THIS CHICK? She immediately gets offended that Mary would assume she’d model for her, which is possibly the dumbest thing to get offended about – ever.
After looking through Mary’s sketches and grilling her about the collection – and why Mary “had to travel across the ocean to fins little people” – Elena’s jealousy is raging hardcore. Her own failed fashion dreams still haunting her, Elena can’t seem to bring herself to play nice. Even Terra tries to calm her friend down, which is the irony of ironies. Offended when Mary asks about her own line, Elena bites back that Mary’s designs are overdone and trite! Unrattled, Mary thinks Elena is just frustrated because her fashion line didn’t work out. Yip. Sounds about right. After Elena unravels further, Terra apologizes on behalf of Elena, then leaves with her, attempting to talk her down in the hallway. Elena doesn’t want to hear reason though, feeling insulted by Mary and by Mary’s obvious success.
Hmm. I don’t know about this Season 6 Elena. I smell production all over this. She is posturing as a dramatic, over-reactor to everything that comes her way and it reeks of Terra Jole’s School Of Reality TV Relevancy. Hey Lifetime – Bring back the real Elena!
Before we head into the next scene, I need a moment to center myself. Yes, we have come to the point in the program in which Briana will drop her drawers and pose for her closeup – all while Matt eggs her on with his limited vocabulary of smarm. Sigh. Okay – here we go…
Briana has always wanted to break into the modeling biz, and she thinks the right time to do it is just after marrying a jobless leech and birthing his baby. As anyone would. Draped in white fur and red underpants, Briana struts her stuff for the camera, excited that Matt can someday say, “Hey, check out my hot a$$ wife!” to his Instagram girlfriends.
Props to Briana for feeling good in her own skin – that is awesome. But it’s interesting that she cut off communication with her family in part because they accused Matt of “fetishizing” her. She doesn’t see the irony in this though, and looks forward to the day when she can slam her Maxim shoot down in front of her haters (ahem, Terra and now Jasmine) and say, “Bam, b*tches!” Matt just can’t wait until the day he can cash the check Briana just earned him.
Back in the semi-real world, Tonya has invited Elena to go shopping to distract her from her grief. They talk about Elena’s emotional rollercoaster…which may be part of the reason she freaked on Mary? Maybe not, as Elena still doesn’t like her. Neither does Tonya, so they’re two peas in a pod. Both women are offended by Mary’s insults to their own fashion lines too. So – Heifers, UNITE!
It’s the day of the Sexual Health Expo, and Mary shows up in a blue jumpsuit to support the cause. The jury is still out on the rest of the group, but Mary is brave to face off with whomever shows up. Christy McGinity Gibel and Jasmine arrive (Christy wasn’t invited, but Jasmine dragged her along for comic relief – which I kinda love her for!), and stroll through a few rows of dildos before greeting Terra and Mary. Just as things seem pretty calm, Briana walks in – then Elena. Tonya is a no-show, which disturbs Terra. Okay, ladies – grab your strap-ons!
After a few sex toy tutorials by questionable vendor carnies hosts, Mary pulls Elena aside to apologize for offending her by bringing up her failed fashion line. Elena says it was just all too much, too soon. Admitting she was a little too harsh on Mary, she says she just didn’t want Mary to assume she’d be involved in her fashion show. She also confesses that her own fashion line was stressful and, without fully saying it, intimates she was hurt and insulted being reminded of its failure. The ladies apologize to one another, and agree to move forward on better terms. Elena is still keeping her eye on Mary, though.
In a sex dungeon elsewhere, Briana confronts Jasmine about taking sides with Terra. Jasmine defends her stance – she’s not siding with Terra! She just doesn’t trust Briana anymore. But if she’s not backing Briana 100% in Every. Single. Argument, Briana takes epic offense. Jasmine is done being Briana’s Yes-Woman, though, and isn’t afraid to deliver this news.
Reminding Briana that she’s had her back since day one – even when Matt was doing his dirt ALL around town – Jasmine breaks down in angry tears as she schools Briana. Jasmine sees Briana for the fair weather friend she is. If she goes against her even once, after everything she’s supported her in over the years, Briana calls her out viciously. And Jasmine has no time for friends who have conditions, one of which is NEVER questioning Briana’s terrible decision making. YES! I AM OFFICIALLY #TEAMJASMINE NOW.
Sadly, Briana delusionally thinks that Jasmine’s opinions are solely being shaped by Terra. What she doesn’t realize is that Jasmine’s (not to mention all of humanity’s) opinions are based on what a sh*t friend Briana is. And that is the actual “Bam b*tches!” moment she’ll never comprehend.
TELL US: IS JASMINE DONE WITH BRIANA FOR GOOD? CAN ELENA AND MARY MOVE FORWARD, OR WILL ELENA AND TONYA MAKE MARY THEIR JOINT ENEMY?
Photo Credit: Lifetime
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