WE KNEW IT! We. Knew. It. Ivy (Alison Pill) has been part of the cult this entire time, as was revealed at the beginning of tonight's episode of American Horror Story. This...
Who knew Justin Hartley could look so good in a diaper? Tonight's This Is Us took Kevin back to where he was when the show began as he went back to The Manny for a special episode,...
Our favorite new show of the season is finally here! ABC's The Mayor topped not only our list but many other lists of best broadcast shows of the fall, and there are a lot of reasons...
Still not enough to make me want to do their jobs – Dlisted
Yes, but you also fled the country, dude! – Celebitchy
Did Hazel E quit Love & Hip Hop? – Starcasm
Tom Petty passes away at 66. (For real this time) – The Blast
More Real Housewives of Atlanta filming tea – Tamara Tattles
What is Lil Wayne hiding? – Dlisted
[Photo Credit: Paras Griffin/Getty Images]
The post Tuesday Night Tea – Gossip Links For October 3rd appeared first on Reality Tea.
It's probable that you've probably heard of one of ABC's newest shows, cautiously titled Kevin (Probably) Saves the World. It's also probable that you probably have...
Say hello to EJ! Tonight on Below Deck there’s a new bosun in town and some of the crew members aren’t too happy about it.
Captain Lee “re-configures” the crew to add in EJ as the bosun to help take some of the pressure off of Nico Scholly with the green deck crew, but Nico doesn’t seem overjoyed by the help.
The new charter guests arrive and aren’t drinkers, but consider themselves major foodies. Matt‘s dinner fails to impress them, but he doesn’t seem to bothered by it when Kate relays the info to him, which concerns Kate.
In other Matt news, his date with Brianna has “an unexpected outcome” when they accidentally wind up at a nude beach.
Tonight we can also look forward to Jen’s continued frustration with her “unfair treatment”. Meanwhile, Kate attempts to plan an anniversary surprise for the charter guests that fizzles.
Join us here in the comments below as we snark through the episode at 9/8 C!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK CAPTAIN LEE’S NEW CREW CONFIGURATION HELP OR HURT THINGS?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Below Deck Virtual Viewing Party: There’s a New Bosun In Town appeared first on Reality Tea.
Mutants. Inhumans. Defenders. Comic book characters are still invading the small screen left and right. So far this season's new additions include Fox's The Gifted, based on the X-Men...
We couldn't help but wonder...will Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall's "feud" ever really go away? While the Sex and the City co-stars have spent more time denying...We return to Playa del Carmen, Mexico, where the ladies are on their first real cast trip. Doesn’t it seem like all the franchises end up in Mexico at one point or another? Now it’s time for The Real Housewives of Dallas. Kameron Westcott has rules for a quality vacation, Cary Deuber gets called out for being a know it all and LeeAnne Locken is ready to boil over. What could possibly go wrong?
Everyone’s getting in their swimsuits to go fight lay out by the beach. D’Andra Simmons‘ suit is new, don’t tell Mama Dee. Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman are giggling like schoolgirls over their secret surprise, an XL dildo deemed “sexual chocolate”. Brandi can barely contain herself as she slips it inside D’Andra’s bag. Apparently, she’s the ‘conservative’ one on the trip… There’s lots of tequila, consumption of worms and grasshoppers. Kameron is learning a lot while watching D’Andra chowing away on some crispy worms. Grabbing her bag, D’Andra spots the dildo right away and pulls it out. Cary flees. Is it too much? Not according to her who claims to have nonstop sex.
Kameron is repulsed by the dildo planted in D’Andra’s beach bag.
Kameron is DISGUSTED by the dildo’s appearance. It’s simply “not what she does on vacation”. Brandi taunts each lady with the large toy, chasing down Kameron yelling, “are you mad it’s not pink?!” Kameron would understand Brandi better if she just had more of a sense a humor. It’s not that serious. Instead of laughing it off so it will just go away, she goes on and on how disrespected she feels. Once it’s finally buried in the sand, the Pink Princess goes on to say how she was raised differently. In her interview, LeeAnne views it as a commentary on class and Brandi’s stature in society. Brandi calls it out – citing Kameron for thinking she’s better than all the others. Kameron maintains that she’s just uncomfortable. Brandi ends it, “you’re not my kind of fun”.
Later, Stephanie feels Kameron wants her and Brandi to be someone they’re not. Once again, Cary claims that she doesn’t want to be in the middle. So, she splits from the group, taking Stephanie and Brandi with her to keep talking about her roommate Kameron. Out of nowhere, these people come by to massage their feet. The other camp, (D’Andra, LeeAnne and Kameron) convenes sans foot rub. LeeAnne points out that whenever Kameron is offended, Brandi takes it as Kameron being better than her. She goes on to say that unlike Brandi and Stephanie, she always has to own up to her bad behavior. Back at beach chairs, Cary jokes that she “heard” LeeAnne’s [secret fiancé] Rich has a small penis and that it’s embarrassing. The other two enjoy the foot rub and she goes on, telling the girls she heard it from a good source. Ugh, shut up.
In an odd montage of events, Stephanie FaceTime’s her husband Travis Hollman who looks like he’s on the toilet. Cary twerks. Kameron assures us she won’t be trying to do it. We can only assume that’s another thing she “doesn’t do on vacation”. Down the hall, LeeAnne and D’Andra are getting ready to go out. LeeAnne mentions, “tonight’s the night” and D’Andra instantly looks nervous. Before she can pull out her index finger to scold LeeAnne, she shows off her engagement ring. D’Andra is genuinely happy for her friend, tearing up and feeling proud. She says they are both bonded over not wanting to die alone. Both are in healthy, loving relationships and all is well with the world.
Apparently, things got so bad with Dildo-gate earlier; they already need a “reset dinner”. So Cary and D’Andra “host” the supper – whatever that means. All the ladies look nice and beachy. They tease there are some surprises planned, but nothing offensive. Brandi pipes up, asking the table if they’re sure Kameron won’t be offended. Kam takes the bait, going on about a ‘boundary of inappropriateness’ and how the dildo was inappropriate and that she’s ‘not the kind of girl’ who goes to strip clubs. Flashback: Brandi (fully clothed) on a strip club stage having the time of her life. She asks, “As mothers, why would you go to a strip club?” Stephanie speaks up, calling out Kameron for judging. Now Kam feels judged for being conservative. Brandi fires back, letting the future pink dog food mogul know that she doesn’t judge someone because she doesn’t have a Highland Park zip code. Here we go… Kameron shoots back asking why Brandi brought up the zip codes. Cary jumps in and admits to telling Brandi that Kam did gossip about Brandi not residing in the DALLAS zip codes. [SMH once again at Cary].
To make matters worse, Brandi expresses that Kameron is being shallow. Kameron proudly says that she doesn’t talk about passing gas at a beautiful dinner table and that Dallas society talks poorly about Stephandi, calling their behavior “disgusting”. Brandi sums up the difference being that Kameron cares about what everyone in Dallas thinks and she simply doesn’t. Cary BELCHES and ends the conversation. We wonder what Dallas society would have to say about that? The dinner takes a left turn when LeeAnne announces her engagement and shows off her huge ring. LeeAnne tells them of how Rich proposed at the Texas State Fair. D’Andra beams with happiness for her friend and proposes a toast.
It’s now day two in Mexico and LeeAnne wakes up with about 5 pill bottles next to her. No doubt she’s still in pain from getting a boob job by a vagina doctor. (We kid) She and D’Andra wish for a chill day to just celebrate the engagement. Not going to happen. LeeAnne opens up about being anxious telling the group of her engagement and being thrown off by Cary’s reaction. Cary even had to try on the ring. Really? D’Andra says LeeAnne is taking the bait every time. Cut to: Cary innocently doing yoga to Pachelbel Canon in D. Cut Back to LeeAnne admitting to being high strung and angry towards the ‘know it all’. Tapping her foot and nervous, LeeAnne listens to D’Andra talk her into a new, compassionate approach; one that will change things with restraint and pull from her therapy. LeeAnne says she learned she can only control what SHE says and does and that’s the plan.
Later, Stephanie takes the biggest bubble bath ever. Brandi plops down for a glass of bubbly champagne. The two soul sisters wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Outside, Kameron, D’Andra and LeeAnne head off to the spa, and Kameron is all about it. This IS what she does on vacation. She lets us know that she doesn’t stoop to the level of Brandi’s vacation standards, rather she prefers the spa, tennis and nature hikes. Back in the tub, Brandi and Stephanie goof over the bubbles having to be pink for Kameron. They both share a laugh over why it’s so hard for people to get Brandi’s sense of humor.
The final act rounds out at an awesome in cave dinner. The ladies pound shots; Kameron is only good for three. Cary and LeeAnne indirectly square off over speaking Spanish. Cary claims to only know “ER Spanish”, while LeeAnne knows “Working Spanish”. At this point LeeAnne has had it with Cary being a know it all. Brandi proposes playing Two Truths and a Lie at the table. The wheels start turning in LeeAnne’s head as she struggles to keep herself at a simmer instead of boiling over as Cary messes up the game. Brandi goes first and says some people are “really good at lying”. Cary uses her time to call out LeeAnne about why she told Brandi she was going to strangle her. Rightfully so, Brandi clarifies that she never said “strangle”. LeeAnne’s answer is, “Yes, I wish you were the only person that I threatened to kill”. Nonchalant, yet honest. Team LeeAnne (D’Andra and Kameron) quietly take shots as this unfolds.
LeeAnne asks Brandi to explain what got her to that point of anger. Brandi mentions it came from Cary’s comments about LeeAnne’s doctor. Cary maintains that the doctor is only an OBGYN. Brandi is honest, telling Cary that she’s put down all their plastic surgeons in the past and she was upset because Cary said her Doc killed people on the operating table. Cary flat out denies this. LeeAnne remains in control, not blowing her lid. Cary comes back saying that Brandi’s doctor has never killed anyone…that she knows of. She goes on to say that if someone did kill a patient it wouldn’t be any sweat off of her back. (No, only a lawsuit)
At this point, Cary is upset with Brandi for amping her up to fight with LeeAnne only to bail on her. Cary has to face the music alone on this one. She continues to refute all comments about Dr. Death, telling Brandi she 100% made it up. Even Stephanie agrees that Brandi called her and told her the same thing. The ladies are at a stalemate and LeeAnne didn’t have to say a thing.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? WHO’S LYING? CARY OR BRANDI?
For even more Reality TV Talk, listen to Grants Rants Hollywood Talk Podcast on Apple Podcasts and all major podcasting platforms.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: Big Little Liars appeared first on Reality Tea.
While tonight's episode of This Is Us may be called "A Manny-Splendored Thing," it's not just about Kevin (Justin Hartley) and his return to The Manny. It also focuses on...
Is there trouble on the dance floor? Maksim Chmerkovskiy was nowhere to be found on the Monday, Oct. 2 episode of Dancing With the Stars episode prompting Alan Bersten to dance with his celebrity...
It would not be at all shocking if Peggy Sulahian wasn’t asked to return to Real Housewives of Orange County next season. She didn’t know any of the other cast members prior to joining the show. She doesn’t seem to get understand any English idiom, even though she used the phrase “out of left field” herself before saying that she didn’t know what it meant. I could go on and on, but it’s basically a total misfire.
Sure, Peggy seems like a nice enough person, but she just doesn’t seem to be cut out for the Housewives drama. Someone accused her of getting in “the middle” of an argument between Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge and she corrected them in the most literal way possible: by saying that she was standing on the side. This woman just doesn’t get it. She seems relatively harmless and honestly seeing her on Watch What Happens Live made me want to give her a hug more than anything just because she is in way over her head.
When Andy Cohen asked Peggy to say the first word that came to mind when he mentioned each of her cast members, it was nothing short of a struggle. She described Vicki as “supportive” and then for Tamra she just said “depends” which isn’t really applicable. When Shannon Beador was mentioned, Peggy just said “ugh” several times before uttering “she needs help.” She described Kelly Dodd as unpredictable which makes a lot of sense. She said Lydia McLaughlin was a “sweetheart” and she took a dig at Meghan Edmonds by dubbing her as “insecure.”
The OC ladies love to investigate other people’s medical histories, so it really isn’t shocking that they find Peggy’s cancer situation to be questionable. Andy asked her, “What are your reactions to the questions about your health?” Peggy answered, “The reactions are I don’t like it. They shouldn’t ask. They should be supportive.” She also said, “I myself was in denial so it was really hard to kind of express it and to tell them. When they did ask me. They kept asking me and it was in a place of not concern.” It definitely was not. They just wanted to find the scoop and were desperate to find some sort of story line for this floundering season.
Andy addressed Peggy about the rumor that she didn’t allow her brother to attend their father’s funeral because he was gay. Peggy maintains, “Absolutely not. I am not a homophobe. Absolutely not. We have not spoken in twenty years.” Andy wasn’t done with that topic though since he asked, “Have you not spoken because he’s gay?” Peggy insisted, “No. I am not a homophobe. I support the LGBT community. I love them. I have nothing against them. It has nothing to do with him being gay at all. It’s a private family affair and that’s just what it is.”
Andy read a viewer question for Peggy asking her about the best and worst parts of being on the show. She said, “The best is to have me on the show. The women get to experience me.” A LOT of people would beg to differ on that sentiment. Peggy also said, “The worst is “I have to deal with sh-t.”
TELL US- SHOULD PEGGY COME BACK TO RHOC NEXT SEASON? IS MEGHAN INSECURE? DO YOU BELIEVE PEGGY’S EXPLANATION ABOUT HER ISSUES WITH HER BROTHER?
[Photo Credit: Instagram/Bravowwhl]
The post Peggy Sulahian Denies Accusations Of Homophobia; Describes Meghan Edmonds As “Insecure” appeared first on Reality Tea.
On Teem Mom 2, big things are happening for all the moms from Jenelle Evans planning her wedding to Kailyn Lowry graduating from college. Leah Messer is pressing forward with her plans to become a motivational speaker, Briana DeJesus brings new baby Stella home and Chelsea DeBoer is close to making plans for her own wedding reception.
Before Chelsea gets into planning, she is busy focusing on the kids and getting baby Watson to his four month shot appointment. He’s getting so big! Husband Cole DeBoer has to work but he will do his best to join them at the doctor’s office, which Chelsea is hoping for. Shots are much harder on mom and the extra emotional support is never a bad thing. Aubree is coming along and on their way over, Chelsea calls Cole, who says he will meet them there. Aubree sweetly says she knew he would make it. After the emerge from the appointment, Chelsea says Watson didn’t enjoy at all and screamed as soon as he got his first shot but once he’s in the car and headed home, Watson is right back to his smiling, giggling self.
Leah takes the girls to South Carolina to visit and friend and while she is there, decides to set up another motivational speaking event. Despite the last one not going so well, Leah is determined to give it another go and hope for a better outcome. She tells her friend how out of her element she was last time but knows that her passion is making a difference and that’s what she intends on doing. Leah also reveals that in her darker moments, she was suicidal and rushed into relationships with men because of her daddy issues. All of those obstacles are things she had to overcome and she believes that sharing this with others will help them too.
Leah set this event up on her own and already got some RSVPs so it’s sinking in that she has to do it all over again. Once at the restaurant where she is holding the event, she sees the room full of people and nerves get the best of her as she starts speaking. The crowd is patient and Leah gets slightly better as she presses on with her talk and then asks everyone to write down their fears on a piece of paper so they can go and burn them. As they throw their paper fears into a little bucket to be burned, Leah asks everyone to let go and stand in their own power. The event is finally over and Leah is really proud of herself, telling her friend that she feels stronger than ever.
Jenelle hasn’t talked to her mom since Kaiser’s birthday party, when she blew up on her for assuming they should go on vacation together. Jenelle doesn’t understand why Barb thinks they still have a relationship when she just wants to be cordial with her. Even though Jenelle agreed in court to have Barb keep Jace, she’s not going to forgive her for putting her in that position to begin with and considers the relationship over. But right now, Jenelle wants to focus on her wedding and as fiancé David Eason cleans up the property to prepare for it, Jenelle tells him that they need to have it on a weekend where she has Jace and that she wants Olive Garden catering. I couldn’t tell if she was joking but hey, all you can eat breadsticks is always a good call.
Over at Barb’s house, she has no idea that she won’t be invited to the wedding and she tells the producer how much pain she is in that she has no relationship left with Jenelle. She doesn’t know why Jenelle is being so mean and says all she was trying to do is what’s in the best interest of Jace. As much as I believe that Barb is genuine when she says she wants to do what is best for Jace, it’s kind of shocking to see how surprised she is that Jenelle would be resentful of her.
Jenelle and David head to New York so Jenelle can go dress shopping and she decides to hire a makeup artist to come to her hotel room and give her an idea of what she will look like when she’s in a wedding dress. As Jenelle gets hair and makeup, she tells her friends how she doesn’t know exactly what style of dress she wants and she still has a lot of planning to do but since she “works from home”, she has plenty of time to devote to wedding planning. She already has a guest list of over 200 people but none of them family and it’s starting to sink in for her that she won’t have her mom to help her with her dress or her dad to walk her down the aisle on the big day. Jenelle knows her relationship is over with her mom and even if it wasn’t, sounds like David would make sure it is, since she admits that anytime she slips and says “Mom”, David corrects her that it’s Barb. Ugh, David is the worst. Who does that?!
Jenelle heads out wedding dress shopping with her friends and hits up a few stores, finding plenty of pretty dresses to choose from. She leaves with a favorite and can consider their trip to New York a success.
Briana is coming home with Stella, who is doing really well but unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Nova, who is having a hard time with such a big change in their family. Briana knows she has to spend some extra time with Nova, helping her ease into becoming a big sister. Luis meets them at her place and Roxanne wastes no time grilling him about how long he’s going to be there, where he’s working, what about the trucking thing, and how they are going to split up responsibilities and money. Luis keeps saying they will have the talk but Roxanne reminds him that should be happening now.
Stella didn’t sleep the first night and when Luis leaves to pick up more clothes from his place, Briana admits that she is more uncomfortable with him staying there and she doesn’t want to be uncomfortable in her own home. Roxanne says he’s dead weight and Briana frets about how to manage it all.
The good news is, Nova is finally starting to warm up to Stella now that they are settling in but Roxanne isn’t willing to let Luis settle in. She wants to know what’s happening with the trucking school and why he isn’t going now. He gives the excuse that Briana wanted him here to spend more time with Stella so he is delaying it. Things quickly escalate as Roxanne accuses him of not helping at all and Briana cries, saying that if he was a real man, he would have already had his job situation figured out months ago.
Later, Luis leaves in the middle of the night to go to his own place and says he will be back in the morning. Briana is pissed and so is the rest of her family and I’m a little torn on this one. Of course, Briana is right that he should have had all of his stuff together before Stella came, it’s not like he didn’t have the time, but now that they are where they are, Luis just can’t win. They are mad if he stays to help, mad if he doesn’t.
Uncomfortable that he’s there, then pissed when he leaves. I have a hard time finding any sympathy for Luis but in the same sense, I think Briana and her family are just making things worse by being so hard on him. They should either give him an honest chance and outline what they need or just let him go and be the bum they are accusing him of being.
Kail is finally graduating college tomorrow and has a bunch of friends staying with her for the weekend so they can celebrate. Once she puts the boys to bed, she talks to her friends about how emotional she is about her graduation, especially because both Javi and Jo asked to come and now they haven’t confirmed they will be there. Her current baby daddy and her family will also be absent from the event but Kail is happy that she has her friends there to cheer her on.
On the big day, Kail gets her hair and makeup done and worries about the future – she wants to either have a job or be in grad school by January. While she really wants to get a job in TV, she knows that will be almost impossible living in Delaware.
They all arrive at the graduation ceremony and Kail is excited, still not believing that this day is happening. She walks to her seat as the boys cheer for her from the stands and when she finally gets called to the stage to receive her degree, she gets a huge round of applause and cheers. As soon as she comes off stage, the boys greet her with a huge hug and say “good job, Mommy”, which is the cutest thing ever. I have to admit, I got a little emotional watching that part! Even if the future is uncertain, it looks like Kail can soak up all the happiness and success of what she’s accomplished today.
TELL US –
Photo Credit: MTV
The post Teen Mom 2 Recap – Season 8 Episode 14: Pushing Forward appeared first on Reality Tea.
It's almost time to retire the white hat, Gladiators. As Scandal heads into its seventh season on Thursday, Oct. 5, so too does it enter into its final season. And that means that...Here’s a mystery for you: why, in the middle of all the Real Housewives Of Orange County‘s scenes about scheming and ball removal was there a lovely bucolic montage of the ladies celebrating Easter? Is it because, as Tamra Judge, waxed insanely, they’re all “sisters in Christ.” Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sister.
Anyway, Lydia McLaughlin owns a boat and therefore she will throw a party for her husband’s balls on said boat. Cause “balls voyage” – get it?! Where in sam hell did little miss prissy bible arise at that one?
Before getting on the official party boat, Lydia and Doug, all decked out in their finery, take a cruise around the harbor with a hot skipper. Unlike Gilligan’s Island no one got lost on a three-hour tour, but if they had, they could’ve build a life raft out of Tamra’s earrings and used Meghan Edmonds‘ earrings to phone home!
Because Lydia and Meghan were kinda friends, and have now had kinda drama and someone – was it Shannon Beador?! Was it Meghan herself?! – didn’t invite Lydia to last week’s farm to drama dinner, Meghan obviously arrives first to this lovely yacht. This lovely yacht all festooned with cheese platters and mauve colored velvet setees like a Golden Girls dream vacation. The one where Blanche meets a wealthy suitor – and isn’t his yacht divine?! As Meghan and Lydia are ALONE, all cooped up with the fruit tray, a confrontation will inevitably have to happen. Apparently Meghan should’ve invited Lydia to someone else’s party; someone Lydia doesn’t even like, wants to avoid, and just had a fight with at a different person’s party. Ostensibly they made up, which is why Lydia is hurt and why Shannon will be at the balls party. Yes, makes sense! Well it does in Housewives land because Lydia doesn’t want to find herself Vicktimized with ‘The Vicki Treatment.’
While Jimmy Dad Jeans is forced to tersely non-reassure Doug that his the ballies will never be the same, when all Jimmy wants to do is scarf cheese, Lydia heaps all her hurt feelings onto Meghan. Nevermind that it was Shannon’s affair. Meghan blames her hormones for making her thoughtless. I’m going to need a running tally of all the evil things Meghan’s hormones have done for humanity in the Greater Newport Beach area. I mean, they’ve accused people of having super-secret boyfriends, they’ve screamed at their friends in the reverie of nature, they’ve lied about their actions, they’ve defended the prolific use of nanny to excuse their wont to party, they’ve become a model. These are some super hormones!
Maybe I’m jaded because twice I’ve had a baby and neither time did my hormones achieve such amazing fetes! But I never lost the baby weight so quickly either. It’s like Peggy Sulahian – three times she pushed and three times Diko failed to deliver upon her a “push present.” How’d we end up screwed?! I’m blaming Tamra.
Anyway, after Meghan and Lydia iron out their differences, the others arrive and everyone is in a festive mood because Vicki Gunvalson is still at home cradling her medical records and nursing her Influenza B. And, in case you were doubting her, she went to see Brooks Ayers’ medical records forger made a trusty highlighter attest to her illness, but this time Vicki was smart enough to avoid run-on sentences and she display the proof to to Kelly Dodd mid-colonic. More on that shit later (ha-ha see what I did there? Ugh).
Back to the balls portion of the evening! As they’re circling the harbor? bay? They’re also playing ring around Lydia’s hurt feelings by each woman pretending she’s the one who didn’t invite her to the dinner? Was it Shannon? Nooooo, silly rabbit – it was Peggy! Oops! Think again, it was Kelly! Ahahaha – nope it was Meghan. I’ll tell you who wasn’t copping any responsibility for it: Tamra. Instead she’s setting her sights on Peggy, getting her alone on the banquette while she is crouched between two enemies: a python-bag and Diko Tamra, herself. Tamra apologizes for not defending Peggy last week while all the other women were working her over about whether or not she had cancer. I’m in Switzerland here – don’t care, don’t want to, and unlike David I would never demand an explanation about someone’s wife’s cancer over cheap-ish beer on a borrowed boat. I’d save that inquest for P.Diddy’s yacht during a party thrown by Sonja Morgan.
Peggy is afraid of snakes. SO afraid she wouldn’t touch Kelly’s bag to hand it back to Kelly. Yet Peggy was seated next to Tamra, and, Tamra, well she’s the ultimate snake! It is literally hilarious how slithery an operator Tamra is. Like when Tamra actually claims to know what it’s like to be ganged-up upon, and we’re reminded of the one time RHOC did the decent thing in giving Tamra a taste of her own medicine in Bali, yet we weren’t reminded of the countless – and I mean COUNTLESS – times Tamra has persecuted others. Alexis Bellino? Gretchen Rossi? Jeana Keough? I could go on, but Tamra is a changed woman since finding Jesus.
Peggy smartly leaps up and away from the offending snake, which unfortunately she thinks is Kelly’s purse. Tamra is as transparent as a ziplock bag – we all know she’s suddenly loving Peggy in an attempt to further isolate Vicki. Ugh – Tamra go pray harder!
Finally Lydia makes a toast to Doug’s beautiful balls, soon to be sullied and in need of “scrotox,” and it’s all over but the crying. Or the hyperventilating, rather.
The next morning it’s V-Day. Lydia, dressed like she’s heading for the club, takes Doug to the doctor where she prays over his junk and believes her prayer will keep Doug’s “huevos’ are safe from any slip-ups. In the lobby while waiting for Doug, she has to put her head between her knees to keep from fainting and not even a FaceTime with Judy, Princess Sparkle Thoughts can calm her down. [EYE ROLL].
OK, some Vicktim-level TMI here: my husband got a vasectomy and no, his balls were not removed! Actually the whole thing took 15 minutes, I did not drive him, he came home, laid in bed with some ice bags and watched TV for two days. I think it was the best two days of his adult life – certainly the most relaxing he’s had since we’ve had children. What I’m trying to say is IT IS NO BIG DEAL. I was not having a panic attack in the waiting room lobby, but I was feeling mighty annoyed that he got to lie around because after you have a baby there’s none of that! What I’m saying is that life isn’t fair, Lydia, get over it.
Also sometimes the shit gets impacted and the toxins drained in a forceful way. Which is why Kelly and Vicki meet for colonic, and amid the many, many MANY icky things I’ve heard on this show, learning about Vicki’s constipation ranks the worst. It comes as no surprise that Vicki is filled with shit. “Filled to the brim” she reveals, and as the colonic is working its magic, Vicki dissolves into tears about how she’s so tired of the shit of her own making. As Vick felt around for her now-soft and squishy colon, she acknowledged she’d gone down a dark road when she followed the trail marked “Brooks Canyon” and now she just wants her friends and her status as OG of The OC back. Vicki’s wistful melancholy at least seemed genuine. I think she does miss when life was silly and people weren’t probing through her every nuance to figure out when, why, and how she lied. Like Vicki said, she just wants to be loved and to be loved means casseroles. Which may also be why she’s so constipated, cause Holy Cheese, Tamra!
On the other side of the water, we meet Shannon’s mommy. Mama Shannon is all words of wisdom and simple platitudes, quite the opposite of Shannon’s shrieking and crystal ruminology. Obviously things aren’t going well with David, and Shannon is glad she can blame his distance on how fat she’s become since Vicki stuffed cheesy casseroles down her throat.
Shannon’s mom, (was her name Pat?) also dealt with infidelity from Shannon’s dad. They finally they divorced when Shannon was in college, because Shannon explains that in her mom’s generation people stayed married for the kids. Shannon doesn’t appear to recognize that this is precisely what’s happening in her own marriage. After Shannon cried over her weight and David, her mom strongly encouraged her to see a real Doctor – not Dr. Tim – for a real check-up, and then get her head thoroughly examined. Then they all sat down to what I think was the best Easter dinner saw – taco buffet on the patio under the sunset. Everyone was happy except David. These two ruin everything!
David apparently didn’t approve of the casual “taco cart” Easter supper, and he also doesn’t approve of Shannon growing up with a silver spoon. Well, he married the high maintenance diva! Shannon was telling an anecdote about being in high school and crashing into her family’s personal gas pump when David started picking on her. Obviously Shannon got defensive. Also, David didn’t acknowledge that his daughters are growing up with that same silver spoon – one which Shannon has loaded up with organic, gluten-free vitamins, and it’s a bitter pill they swallow.
David’s jabs turned everyone off their tacos and maybe that was his plan – like revenge diet. It was uncomfortable in front of their daughters and Shannon’s mom, but these two never keep their personal problems appropriately under wraps. Marriage should be a covered casserole dish – please do not whip off the aluminum foil and plop it down on the dinner table while everyone else is enjoying tacos!
I know what Shannon’s thinking – how can this be the same man who fished a broken colonic tube out of my butt?! This marriage should be doomed, but we know it’s probably only headed for another affair and more of Shannon’s excuses, defenses, and justifications … oh my!
At Peggy’s she informs us that Armenians invented Easter and Christianity so now she will make a special serpent-shaped cookies. I don’t have the energy to Google this. After plopping the cookies into the oven, Peggy is suddenly lit with a fire from within over David rudely questioning Diko about her cancer during the Balls Voyage party. I agree! Totally uncalled for, and David’s shifty eyes should focus on his own shit – which stinks!
At CUT Fitness, Lydia and Tamra, “sisters in Christ” work out. Tamra has been experiencing pain and redness in her wrists and blames Vicki for her mysterious health issue. Vicki really is powerful, isn’t she? She’s made Shannon fat, Meghan crazy, and now Tamra has carpal tunnel. Perhaps Vicki really is Satan. And speak of the devil, while Tamra is sniffing, the phone rights and it’s… VICKI!
After admitting that inviting Ricky (and Gretchen) to her party was “a mistake” (You think?!), Steve told Vicki it was time to shit or get off the pot: either honestly attempt to fix things with Tamra, or let it go and accept that the friendship is dead. Obviously Vicki has a reality television career to protect, so she gives Tamra another call to again suggest they get coffee, alone.
Rationally Vicki seems to accept that their best hope is to figure out how to be civil to each other because they have so many ‘friends’ in common, and that is the most disingenuous thing about this show and the total disconnect at which RHOC has found itself. In the real world, Tamra and Vicki would have been over, yet this season is rehashing two season’s ago – or is it three?- drama and trying, once again, to patch this fallen fake-friendship of TamIcki.
Well, Vicki called, and while My Little Lydia watched on mouth agape and eyes wider than Doug’s beautiful balls, Tamra agreed to meet for coffee. We end on that cliffhanger. Cause oooh drama!
The worst is, the way these two are acting up in blogs and on twitter, we know whatever resolution occurred fell apart again before the season ended so we’ll likely be treated to this same reheated casserole of a storyline next season. Listen Bravo: tater tots lose their crunch! They get soggy and gluey and stop tasting like the fake potato they are supposed to be imitating, then everyone else throws those left-overs out. Let’s do that. Either give Tamra a gym spinoff, which is probably what she’s hoping for with her ardent ‘I hate Vicki‘ resilience, or do the show with the two of them barely speaking and develop their relationships with the other women instead. Whatever the case, hand this show a colonic tube and get things moving!
Also, why do I just sense that we’ll be fighting over who didn’t invite Lydia to dinner for the remainder of the season?
TELL US – SHOULD LYDIA CARE WHO DIDN’T INVITE HER TO DINNER? SHOULD VICKI AND TAMRA TRY TO PATCH THINGS UP?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap: Whodunit appeared first on Reality Tea.
