Jill Zarin shared some sad news tonight at the 2016 Angel Ball in NYC: Bobby Zarin‘s cancer has returned and has now spread to his brain.
The former Real Housewives of New York star shared at the Angel Ball 2016 for Gabrielle’s Angel Foundation For Cancer Research, “He’s getting the best of care. We like to share this story because we like to help everybody. We have a great team…He had thyroid cancer that had spread to the lungs but it’s all going to be good.” Bobby was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2009 and lung cancer in 2015.
Jill is keeping a positive attitude about the grim news. She told E! News, “You have to live to live because we want to be here to raise money for cancer research. We want to live our lives to the fullest…We don’t want to miss anything while Bobby’s healthy and strong and we’re just going to fight it.” Our thoughts are with Jill and Bobby as he gears up for another fight.
In other Angel Ball news, tonight was supposed to be Kim Kardashian‘s big return to the public eye, but things took a turn this afternoon. Kim was seen hopping a private plane this morning to head to NYC, but from what we see in the photos, she never made it to the gala.
It might have something to do with Kanye West‘s meltdown last night at his concert. He reportedly only played a few songs and then proceeded to rant about Beyonce and Jay-Z and the media and then cut the concert short and left. TMZ reports that Kanye was hospitalized this afternoon – unwillingly. They claim he’s exhausted and was suffering from sleep deprivation. It hasn’t been confirmed yet that Kim rushed home, but I’m assuming this hospitalization is why she didn’t show up at the gala (unless she just avoided all cameras..).
Although Kim wasn’t seen, her sisters and mom were at the event. Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Kris Jenner were joined by Corey Gamble. Kourtney wore an interesting dress that appeared to be missing a chunk of material.
Also spotted at the event was RHONY star Dorinda Medley. Check out the gallery below!
Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Gabrielle’s Angel Foundation
The post Gabrielle’s Angel Foundation Gala Photos – Jill Zarin Reveals Bobby’s Cancer Is Back; Kim Kardashian Skips Event After Kanye West Hospitalized appeared first on Reality Tea.
Does it feel like this season of Dancing with the Stars has lasted for about a decade? We're at the point where we don't remember a time before this season of Dancing with the...Today, the most important Big Brother Over the Top power of veto competition played out. It was a battle between Shelby Stockton, Morgan Willett against Jason Roy, Justin Duncan, and Kryssie Ridolfi. Since Big Brother Over the Top began, Jason has been the frontrunner.
In the last few weeks, Shelby has really cemented herself as another frontrunner. The Big Brother Over the Top game basically comes down to a Shelby or Jason win. The only way one of them doesn’t win the competition is if both of them get out before the final 3.
Currently, one of them is set to leave the Big Brother Over the Top house. It all depends on whose side wins the veto competition.
We had another Big Brother Over the Top individual timed challenged. Each player would have to go through a maze. In the maze they needed to find three ears of corn. The player to find all three ears of corn the fastest, won this week’s power of veto.
The order for the competition went as followed: Justin, Shelby, Morgan, Kryssie, and Jason.
The times went as followed:
Justin: 1:56
Shelby: 4:24
Morgan: 11:00
Kryssie: 2:05
Jason: 1:30
Jason won the veto. He plans to remove himself from the block. This forces Morgan to nominate Shelby. Shelby will be leaving the Big Brother Over the Top house on Wednesday night.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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Well, season 11 of The Real Housewives of Orange County has finally come to its bitter end, and after watching part three of the reunion special, we're left wondering how any of these women...
Kylie Jenner bares it all for Tyga’s birthday – Dlisted
Kris Jenner fears Blac Chyna’s mom? – Celeb Dirty Laundry
When Game of Thrones and Star Wars collide – Celebitchy
Gigi Hadid’s impersonation of Melania Trump didn’t make everyone laugh – Starcasm
Is Lindsay Lohan this bored? – Dlisted
Check out tonight’s TV listings below!
8 PM EST –
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
The Voice (NBC)
Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo) – reunion
Guy’s Grocery Games (Food Network)
Love & Hip Hop (VH1) – premiere
9 PM EST –
Vanderpump Rules (Bravo)
Cake Wars (Food Network)
Teen Mom OG (MTV)
90 Day Fiance (TLC) – special
Black Ink Crew: Chicago (VH1)
10 PM EST –
Teen Mom OG (MTV) – special
Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party (VH1)
Photo Credit: Robert Kamau/Getty
The post Monday Tea – Links, Open Chat, What To Watch Tonight appeared first on Reality Tea.
If you’re easily grossed out, you might want to skip tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules! Or at least don’t have steak for dinner before watching it (you definitely won’t want steak for a while after watching it…). Tonight Tom Schwartz dishes up some revenge to Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval and it’s gag-inducing, but brings him a whole lot of joy. We’ll leave it at that and not spoil it for you.
Also on tonight’s episode, Katie Maloney asks Stassi, Scheana, and Kristen Doute to be her bridesmaids. Katie excludes Ariana Madix from her list of chosen ones because she’s upset that Ariana is still talking to Lala Kent. Katie later questions her decision to include Scheana when she’s seen being friendly to Lala.
Lisa Vanderpump sits James Kennedy down to attempt to give him a dose of reality. She lets James know that he’s no Calvin Harris and needs to stop his shenanigans. But James, ever delusional about his level of celebrity, tells her that everyone is after him because he’s “winning” right now and even has a hit on the iTunes Top 100!! Lisa lets James know he’s had enough chances and this is pretty much his last warning.
The drama kicks off after the final OC reunion episode tonight. The new episode airs at 9/8CST on Bravo. Are you tuning in?
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KATIE SHUTTING OUT ANYONE WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH LALA?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Vanderpump Rules Tonight: Tom Schwartz Exacts Revenge On Jax And Tom Sandoval; Katie Maloney Hates On Lala Kent appeared first on Reality Tea.
Andy Cohen is never one for remaining impartial and it’s no secret that he dislikes Kelly Dodd – even though Kelly has been a major ratings boon for Real Housewives Of Orange County.
The vitriolic reunion concludes tonight, and Andy reveals there was some censorship involved, and that he called Kelly out for some of the statements she makes.
“I was really tough on Kelly Dodd,” Andy admitted. “I don’t know how much they’ll show of my part, but I felt like I was pretty tough on her. I was calling her out.”
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As to be expected the reunion ran the gamut of emotions and Andy believes one friendship can never be repaired. “There were revelations… and at the end there was me feeling like, ‘Wow – they’ll never be friends again…'” I presume Andy means Shannon and Vicki Gunvalson?
Among some of the other tidbits from the Ask Andy segment:
The possibility of Phaedra and Apollo getting back together? “That case is closed.”
His reaction to Danielle Stuab and Teresa Giudice becoming friends (they’ve done yoga together more than once now!). “I texted Teresa ‘Oh my god – has hell frozen over?'”
Danielle possibly returning to Real Housewives Of New Jersey? “We’ll certainly consider it,” dished Andy. “We’ve talked about it almost every season…”
Also, Andy made the guest list for Luann de Lessep‘s NYE Wedding, but he won’t be able to attend due to travel. He will be sending a gift.
As mentioned above, tonight is the final part of the RHOC reunion, and it gets NASTY. After reliving their crash in Glamis, things take an even more deadly turn when Ireland is discussed. When pushed Vicki makes a shocking allegation against Shannon which causes her to reach her breaking point!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK ANDY SHOULD CALL OUT HOUSEWIVES? WAS IT WRONG SILENCE KELLY?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Andy Cohen Tough On Kelly Dodd At RHOC Reunion; Plus He Weighs In On Danielle Staub And Luann’s Wedding! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Kandi Burruss is learning the hard way about opening up your life to reality TV – everything is fair game!
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta star didn’t have any problems with viewers seeing Mama Joyce‘s vehement opposition to her marriage to Todd. And Kandi has been open about her distant relationship with her own father, her business failures, the death of her former fiance, her brother’s passing or family members in prison, and her infertility, but there’s one thing she hoped to keep off the show – the relationship with Riley’s father Block.
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Kandi maintains she truly had no idea Block’s girlfriend was going to appear at The Kandi Factory. On Twitter, a viewer wondered if production arranged the entire thing, and Kandi responded, “Of course they did. But I didn’t know. Could u imagine how I felt?”
Kandi also blames Block for working with production to bring the drama on Real Housewives Of Atlanta.
“I hate that my baby daddy drama is a part of the show this season. I’ve never wanted to put him on blast because at the end of the day he’s still my daughters dad,” Kandi wrote in an Instagram post explaining the situation. “I don’t know why he chose to do this but here we are.”
So who is Block and how did his relationship with Kandi go so haywire? Block, real name Russell Spencer, is a music producer with his own label. It once had hits for Yung Joc and Boys in the Hood.
Block and Kandi initially met at a radio station, and a year later randomly ran met again at a car dealership. “That’s when we exchanged numbers and started hanging out,” Kandi revealed. “We only dated a few months. It was very short. I found out he was still in a relationship with his other kids’ mom, so I ended our relationship, but I was already pregnant with Riley.”
In a Bravo blog, Kandi shared her reaction to Kris Kelli showing up, and gave more details about her situation with Block.
“I honestly never wanted this to be seen on the show,” Kandi stressed. “I hate the whole baby daddy/baby mama drama, but here he comes out of nowhere with this bullsh–… ”
Kandi immediately wondered “what the hell” Kris was doing. Since they’ve only met a few times Kandi found it “odd for her to just stop by.”
RELATED: Kandi Blamed For Mama Joyce’s Comments About Phaedra
“I have nothing bad to say about her, but I didn’t know what her intentions were,” Kandi continued. “For the last few years Block and I haven’t really talked that much at all. So for his artist to just pop up out of the blue was strange to say the least. I didn’t even know they were an official couple.”
Kandi was also weirded out by Kris “trying to show so much concern for [Block’s] relationship with Riley,” adding, “I didn’t feel Block and Riley’s relationship was a conversation I should’ve been having with her.”
Considering that Mama Joyce is her mother, Kandi shockingly remained composed during the awkward visit. “She was really nice about it,” Kandi clarified. “So I was trying to be nice.”
Kandi was “tripped out” hearing Kris Kelli and Block claim Kandi has blocked him from Riley’s life. She blames her ex for telling Kris lies. “He’s clearly been giving her some bogus story,” accused Kandi.
Kandi’s pent-up frustrations all came spilling out to Sheree Whitfield at the gym.
“It’s an emotional subject for me. I never wanted her not to have a real father figure, but Block for whatever reason has never really stepped up to be the father Riley deserves,” Kandi explained. “He’s always been very flaky. He’ll call and say he’s going to do better and then you don’t hear from him for months at a time. Riley used to be sad about it, but now she’s just over it.”
In another odd occurrence, Porsha Williams also used to date Block, but Kandi insisted there’s no weirdness over their mutual ex. “Both Porsha and Block told me on separate occasions. It’s no big deal. She hooked up with him after me. She and I have had a full discussion about it.”
The situation between Kandi, Block, and Riley is far from resolved. In her emotional Instagram post, Kandi asked RHOA viewers for advice in dealing with the situation.
“I’m gonna be real and say I don’t know how to fix the situation at this point,” admitted Kandi. “My daughter is 14 and has put a wall up. If he wants to fix it then he’s gonna have to work and humble hisself to build a relationship with her. Have any of you been able to build a relationship after this many years have passed? If so how?”
TELL US – DO YOU THINK PRODUCTION SET KANDI UP?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Kandi Burruss Didn’t Want Drama With Riley’s Father On RHOA; Says Production Set It Up appeared first on Reality Tea.
When Jacqueline Laurita‘s daughter Ashlee Holmes announced earlier this year that she was expecting her first child with her fiance, Pete Malleo, many Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers wondered how the once bratty, self-centered teen would be as a mom. Well, according to Chris Laurita, she’s been “absolutely amazing.”
About her “amazing” transformation, Chris shared, “I cannot believe how much she has matured and what a great mother she is. After some of our challenges and struggles with her through the years – and a lot of people have seen that on TV – it kind of catapulted her into being an adult and a very responsible one at that. She’s very, very, very attentive with her son.”
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Pete and Ashlee live with Chris and Jacqueline, so Chris gets to see how they are with baby Cameron daily. “I get to see it and watch what she does and how she does it. She’s really been amazing, and I’m very happy to see that.”
“Pete has been amazing, too,” added Chris. “They’re very, very, very attentive. I’m really proud of how they’re doing things and they’re doing a great job.”
Chris advised Pete and Ashlee, “You guys need to work together on raising this child, because at the end of the day you’re molding him into a person. You just need to make sure that you guys are on the same page as far as how you want to do that and what you want to teach them.”
RELATED: Ashlee Calls Out Real Housewives of New Jersey Editing
Also matured thanks to the baby is Ashlee and Jacqueline‘s relationship.
“Jacqueline is obsessed with him already,” shared Chris. “She spends a lot of time with Ashlee and the baby. She loves jumping in and helping out whenever she can. Their relationship has gotten very, very strong.”
Jacqueline may be head over heels for her grandson, but she isn’t ready to be called “Grandma” just yet, opting instead to be called “Glamma.” And Chris chose “G,” explaining, “Because it sounds cooler than Grandpa. It’s been cool. So far, so good.”
TELL US – ARE YOU SURPRISED TO HEAR ASHLEE IS A GOOD MOM?
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Chris Laurita Says Ashlee Holmes Has Matured And Is An Amazing Mom appeared first on Reality Tea.
James Hinchcliffe has been heralded as the best celebrity male dancer on Dancing With the Stars...but somebody is taking issue with that. And that somebody is fellow IndyCar driver and Dancing...Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love and motherhood and all the complications that come with it. But first, like with all things, we must dip our toe in hate!
Phaedra Parks, Porsha Williams, and Sheree Whitfield take their camel toes to brunch to discuss Sheree’s fight with Kenya Moore. Apparently, Kenya has been conducting faulty research, which misled her to believe Sheree is a hoe. “HOE!” scoffs Sheree, “I ain’t never been associated with no hoes!” Well, except for the ones Bob was probably cheating with. Sheree is indignant that someone who “slept her way to the top of the Z-List DVD rack” has the nerve to accuse her of impropriety.
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The only thing hoe-ish about Sheree is the way she spreads the Chateau Sheree love around – sometimes she owns it, sometimes her mother does, sometimes a trust does. While the ladies agree that Kenya is a mess, the consensus is that a “little d–k” is good for her – “little” being open to interpretation. Like can it penetrate a hazmat suit?
Meanwhile, Kenya is reconnecting with Matt over some fitness. I don’t know how someone can work out with their boobs literally exploding over their top. Is this gonna be Kenya’s new look? Cause, um… no. Matt plays sympathetic hearing her complain about Sheree, then chases his would-be queen through the woods with a poisoned tongue, all the way to his parents house.
Well, kinda. Two weeks after getting back together, Matt is introducing Kenya to his family at his upcoming family reunion. Considering Kenya is old enough to be his mother, she’s rightfully nervous about meeting his for-real mama. Also, let’s hope this goes better than the time Kenya tried to meet her own mother!
While Kenya is seeking family – children, adoptive mamas, the whole nine yards – Kandi Burruss has all but given up on her daughter Riley having a relationship with her father Block but in walks through the door Block’s girlfriend Kris Kelli. The timing was rather amusing: just as Kandi was throwing shade about how she’d never do a grand opening for an uncompleted restaurant, a shady figure darkens her doorway. Kandi doesn’t want to call Block her baby daddy – she hate that term – so let’s call it an unfortunate paternal drama.
At Kris‘ unannounced arrival, Kandi’s team, including Todd, look visibly unsettled and confused. Kandi escorts Kris into her office, where Kris reveals that she wants Block to have a relationship with Riley. The question on Kandi’s lips is, “Then why are you here and not Block?” Kandi is polite, but spells it out that Riley has been disappointed by her dad so many times, she’s now put a wall up. It makes Kandi sad considering that she never had much of a relationship with her own father because Mama Joyce chased the man away and into the loving embrace of Jesus – thankfully!
Meanwhile, Cynthia Bailey is crying because Peter doesn’t want to be her friend now that they’re divorcing. Uhhh… [side-eye]. It turns out Peter has been so desperate for answers, he turned to Malorie. I guess he’s deeply unhappy his paycheck decided to put a block on his account. These two are a mess.
What’s a bigger mess is Porsha. Oh. My. GOD. Porsha has reconnected with an old boyfriend named Chris. They dated for a few years in her early 20’s, broke up, and then he moved to DC, had two kids, and got divorced. Now that Porsha is in her mid-30’s, she’s ready to be a mom – man or no man! She invites Phaedra for a walk in the woods so no one can hear Phaedra’s screams when Porsha reveals that she plans to ask Chris to be a sperm donor and part-time baby daddy.
Porsha and her confusions! Last year, she had a ‘shower’ for her barely out of diapers man, which sent him running, now she wants to proposition her barely phone-sexting off FaceTime ex to hand over a turkey baster full of his sperm so she can have her way with it. Girl… maybe Porsha should ask Block instead – he doesn’t seem like he’d stick around.
Phaedra is like NO – I will not let someone who cannot find her way around a Target have a child unsupervised. Honestly, that would be like 16 And Pregnant in Louboutins. Horrors.
Later, Chris meets Porsha for some Body Combat. Afterwards, on the balcony outside the gym(!!!), she straight-up propositions him to be her half-sperm donor/part-time baby daddy/ but no-time boyfriend. It’s clear Chris wants different things and thought they were getting back together. For one brief fleeting moment, Porsha abandons her dimwit act while Chris gently tells her he is not interested, and why he wants her to have a whole family – partner, child, and a home. It’s clear Chris feels bad for Porsha. Although she looks crushed, deep down, under the nine pounds of boob implants and naked hair, in the underground railroad of her soul, I think Porsha knows she doesn’t just want to get inseminated.
Then, because Porsha has the maturity of a 13-year-old, she promises to think about being Chris‘ girlfriend with a spit-shake, then jumps on his back for a piggy-back ride. He seems all too happy to oblige so maybe these two are perfect for each other?
Not perfect for each other are Sheree and Bob. Bob is too hilarious though. He has Sheree over to talk, aka proposition her and invite himself to move into Chateau Sheree. He tries to sweeten her up with a smoothie made with rotten fruit and Activia digestive yogurt. Which may have been the right move considering Bob’s proposal was truly hard to digest.
After Bob asks Sheree to feel-up his thigh muscles through his spandex hot pants and see his S&M room, Sheree politely extracts herself from his foolishness. “Bob is nothing but sex and jokes!” she snaps. “And I’m tired of ’em both!”
Sheree did praise Bob for finally rising to the occasion as a good father, but that’s the only occasion she wants to him to rise to, as she calmly explains that after all the negativity that transpired during their marriage and divorce – the cheating, verbal abuse, abandonment, ignoring the kids, none of which he’s apologized for – she’d prefer to just remain model co-parents. Well, Sheree certainly didn’t get a seven-figure settlement, but she gained a wealth of maturity and knowledge! Can she cash that in to pay the mortgage?
While Sheree is distancing herself from Bob’s untoward advances, Kenya is climbing into a car with Matt to drive to Cincinnati, OH, for his family reunion. She’s complaining, whining, pouting, and arguing about driving because she “haaaaaaaaaates road trips.” She also thinks they’ll kill each other spending that much time in the car together. Kenya, like all toddlers, tantrums until she exhausts herself, then promptly falls asleep.
If you can’t spend eight hours together, how are you gonna spend the rest of your lives together?
First, they meet Matt’s mother, father, and sister Hallison for dinner but what’s being served, skewered and grilled, is Kenya. Matt’s sister is not buying anything Ms. Twirl has to sell – not even after she buys dinner.
Hallison has concerns, not just about Kenya’s sincerity, but also about their age difference. Matt’s mother is worried about Kenya’s intentions, as well, after Kenya mocks Matt’s footwear collection. It seems Matt’s mother doesn’t want Kenya stepping on her toes.
After the awkward dinner, they head to the family reunion. Kenya is in her element as she convinces the little kids that she’s Beyonce. But Hallison is not done with Kenya yet and pulls her aside for another chat. Kenya is annoyed – and does not bother to hide it as she complains bitterly that Hallison won’t get off her case and needs to stop. Um, Kenya, THIS is what a marriage is about.
Hallison wants more reassurance that Kenya isn’t just hiring Matt to play her boyfriend on TV, considering how hard her little brother has fallen for Krayonce. Krayonce is able to keep her twirl in check and reassure Hallison – again – that she wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t sincere, especially at her age when she has little time to waste. Hallison doesn’t look convinced, but then Matt intervenes to rescue Hallison from the impending Twirl Of Destruction.
Luckily, Matt’s mom is more accepting. She just hopes Kenya will treat Matt right and make him happy – and leave all the mothering to her.
After they take an Usie together, Kenya gushes that she believes Matt’s mother could become a surrogate mother to her – the mother she’s always longed for! Um, Kenya, don’t you think you’re rushing things a bit (per the usual)? You’re the only woman alive who wants the mother-in-law before the man even puts a ring on your finger! A ring she will no-doubt have to purchase herself…
Kandi meets Sheree at the gym. I truly hope Sheree gets her fitness business together because she looks amazing.
Kandi is not on her game. She falls off the rowing machine, then after working out, falls apart into Sheree’s arms, wailing over Block’s abandonment of Riley. Sheree understands completely – she’s got Butthead Bob to deal with.
Block never wanted to be involved, and Kandi accepted that, but swears she’s always decided never to interfere if Riley were to want a relationship. Unfortunately, Block has been making Kandi look like the bad guy for years. In a strange twist of, well, I don’t wanna call it fate, Block also used to date Porsha (!?!) – this was before Porsha knew Kandi, but after Kandi had dated Block, but he talked crap about Kandi to Porsha.
As a testament to how little involvement Block has had in Kandi and Riley’s life, after eight years of friendship, Sheree has barely heard about the man, let alone met him. While Kandi cries, Sheree poignantly states that most of these men don’t know how to be fathers because they didn’t have fathers themselves. Like Bob had mentioned, while trying to pawn off his half-ditch smoothie to sweeten up his icy-cold half-assed heart, his father died at 44, the age he is now, so he wants a second chance. A revival so to speak, but there is no do-overs in fatherhood.
While Kandi is pouring her heart out to Sheree, Block is with Kris, blaming Kandi for keeping Riley away from him. “I aint’ chasin’ nobody,” he rants. That’s your child, Blockhead! YOUR CHILD.
Not only is this guy is a blockhead, but I believe he totally pretended to want a relationship with Riley in order to get on RHOA for some publicity for his recording studio. Gross.
TELL US – SHOULD PORSHA GET A SPERM DONOR? WILL KENYA AND MATT LAST? SHEREE & BOB: BETTER TOGETHER OR BETTER APART?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Blockheads appeared first on Reality Tea.
Phew, the 2016 fall TV season is officially over, with all the new shows making their debuts and old favorites making their returns. But just like the leaves, sometimes viewers' taste change,...
Watch out for those temple guards! Nickelodeon is about to bring back Legends of the Hidden Temple in the best way possible, and E! News has your first look at Kirk Fogg back in action....Happy Monday! It’s a short work week for many of you, so there’s something to be a little happy about on this Monday morning, right? To get you through the day we have a new photo roundup of our favorite reality stars out and about this weekend. Above: Lisa Vanderpump and Joyce Giraud took her boys (and Ken and Giggy) to the premiere event of ‘Odysseo By Cavalia’ this weekend. Real Housewives of Orange County‘s Shannon Beador and her family were spotted there, too!
In today’s gallery we also have:
And many other past and present reality TV stars: Courtney Stodden, Kate Gosselin, Former Ladies of London star Annabelle Neilson, Jacqueline Laurita and more!
Photo Credit: JerodHarris/WireImage/Getty
The post Weekend Photo Roundup: Lisa Vanderpump, Shannon Beador, Alex McCord, Jacqueline Laurita and More appeared first on Reality Tea.
The Walking Dead has a sprawling world that now features Alexandria, the Hilltop, the Kingdom and the Saviors, so it's to be expected some characters may slip between the cracks. But that...
It begins and ends with four words. "Last four words, actually." With those four words, a lore was born. It was 2006, and Amy Sherman-Palladino was upset. Rightfully so. She would...
Well, we’ve come to the bittersweet end of season four’s 90 Day Fiance, gang. It’s hard to believe it was mere months ago that Anfisa was shutting down Jorge’s phone all the way from Russia – and things haven’t changed much since! Except, now Anfisa can call herself “Mrs. Jorge,” or whatever. Because that insane chick actually marries the spineless man she trapped wooed from afar last night!!! As Matt and Alla take the plunge, they just hope someone has drugged creepy friend Patrick for the ceremony. And Narkyia and Nicole are left wondering what to do with the gigantic sh*tshows they’ve made of their lives.
A “Tell All” special followed last night’s season finale. Although we won’t be recapping last night’s part one reunion in this finale post, I will post a recap of part two. Because, let’s face it: There is just waaaaaaay too much crazy to talk about. We need at least one more week to decompress, people! In the mean time, feel free to comment on any of last night’s full tilt insanity below.
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It’s the magical day for Jorge and Anfisa. And by magical, think: A justice of the peace, semi-ironed clothing, and some sort of marijuana grow light riding shotgun in the bride and groom’s chariot. (Is this the IDIOT-branded car? Because it should be.) Anfisa doesn’t feel like the wedding is a big deal. No guests, no frills. It’s just about getting paperwork signed, which will then lead to her magic green card. Just in case Jorge mistakes his wedding day for a romantic moment, Anfisa reminds him of these cold, hard facts. She also reminds him that she’s not trapped here just because of some silly marriage certificate. You know, in the event that Jorge’s 3 remaining brain cells don’t compute that his existence = dollar signs for her, period.
In Kentucky, Matt and Alla’s wedding day is also upon them. They are ready for commitment, but not ready for Patrick to make an ass of himself at their ceremony. He’s already threatened as much. Despite the many, many haters who’ve hazed Alla along the way, she’s happy, especially because her sister Iryna is here from the Ukraine. Julie, Patrick’s ill-suited girlfriend (why is she with that maggot!?), sweetly agrees to do Alla’s makeup. Alla’s son, Max, seems excited for the day as well. In the end, Alla looks beautiful and content, even tearing up before the ceremony at the emotion of it all. Aww. I’m rooting for this woman, despite Matt’s man-child ways!
Sadly, since no one is planted in the parking lot armed with a baseball bat, Patrick makes it into the event without his kneecaps broken. More to come on that later…
Cut to Vietnam, where Narkyia is still fuming about news that she’s Lowo’s second choice. He apparently wanted to get back with his baby mama, but when that failed, he catfished chose Narkyia. The two meet for lunch to hash things out. Lowo croons that he’s sorry, he didn’t mean it baby, he did her wrong! He goes as far as blaming it on his parents – THEY wanted him to get back together with his baby mama, not HIM! Narkyia is like, go be with her then. She can’t trust him, and frankly, never could.
Lowo begs Narkyia for the 90-day grace period they agreed upon. But Narkyia doesn’t even want Lowo anywhere near her at this point. She tried to trust him, but he showed himself to be untrustworthy for the thousandth time – and the last time. A deflated Lowo finally is left to watch Narkyia drive away, no doubt already checking his various fake email accounts to see if any new fish are on his slimy hook.
It’s official: Narkyia is the heroine of this season. She stone cold dumped Lowo’s lying a$$! #NarkyiaForTheWin #BetterLateThanNever #TakeNotesJorge
Nicole is in Florida pondering her toilet bowl of a life. She doesn’t have the money to bring Azan to the states for a K1 visa, nor can she support him when he gets here. Her family is unsupportive, her mom won’t sponsor her, and she basically has zero life skills. “But that’s okay,” sighs Nicole, who now needs to call Azan up and deliver the joyous news.
Nicole FaceTimes Azan, giving him the lowdown, noting it will take up to two years to get the scratch together to bring him over. “I hope our love can last that long,” Nicole desperately whines. Azan deadpans his rehearsed lines, “Uh, of course it will.” But he does backtrack a bit, claiming he will indeed wait to be her husband…”one day.” Hmm.
Either Azan literally has no other options in life, or is just trying to get off of the phone so he can go live his. But he ain’t going anywhere right now, or at least until he goes through the FaceTime version of Nicole force-groping him again! This tiresome toddler asks him repeatedly, “How much do you love me? No really? HOW MUCH!?!?!” Azan tries to tame her by answering as best he can. Oh, Azan. You are a fool to agree to anything with this bottomless pit of need. Here’s hoping he has a secret escape hatch we don’t know about yet.
Back at Matt and Alla’s wedding, Matt is waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle. His fourth time up here, he’s used to this bit. Meanwhile, Patrick is planning his punk move. Alla finally enters, looking beautiful, and the couple seem genuinely happy to be taking the plunge together. As the preacher asks for objections, Patrick’s face reads, “I need to take a rather large crap,” but his mouth says nothing. Alla tears up, relieved that Patrick decided to NOT act like a tool for once in his pathetic life.
After Matt and Alla exchange vows, they kiss, and are pronounced husband and wife! Their family and friends applaud, and the couple walk down the aisle, thrilled. Patrick hopes this is Matt’s last wedding. If only because there are no more jacked-up strippers for hire in this town. Alla feels like her dreams have come true with Matt, and he seems smitten with his new wife too.
Back in PA, Narkyia is decompressing from her trip. She sits down with her 12-year old son, Malcom, who she has to tell the truth to: Lowo might not be coming after all. She explains that he lied to her, so she’s not sure if they’ll pursue marriage. Malcom seems unfazed, but says he was excited to see Lowo. He wants someone to play sports with – but that’s no reason for Narkyia to bring a dirty rotten scoundrel into their backyard. She needs good role models in her son’s life, not liars who con people in the name of love. Narkyia seems like a good mom. Props to her. (Nicole, are you watching closely?)
Back in the car ride on the way to their wedding, Anfisa asks Jorge if he has doubts? Like, about his balls dropping soon? He’s a thousand percent sure, yo! He can’t wait to get married “to the most beautiful woman in the world,” he sighs, as Anfisa stares ahead with eyes that have died long, long ago. She wants Jorge to make her some real promises, like promises to buy “bags and shoes” for life. You know, the critical stuff solid relationships are built upon! Jorge just laughs. He is either dumb as dirt or loves the torture – I can’t figure out which?
At the courthouse, Anfisa and Jorge trade vows in front of an empty room. “Anfisa is the love of my life!” cheers the delusional Jorge, who’s ready to tether himself to this nutcase forever. Here’s hoping he likes sleeping in that keyed car 6 out of 7 nights a week. During the ceremony, Anfisa actually cries – nearly bawls, actually – as Jorge holds her hands. They trade vows to commit themselves to one another in sickness and in health – but where’s that richer or poorer clause?! No matter. For they are pronounced husband and wife anyway.
They leave, snap a selfie, climb back in the car, and speed off into their absolutely dysfunctional future. Now they can get ready for their “big wedding,” which will include anything that makes Anfisa happy. So, $10k Chanel bags for everyone? Rots o’ ruck to ya, kids!
“I don’t really care as long as Jorge brings money,” summarizes Anfisa about their future together. Ah. That seems a fitting line to end this season on. Thanks for keeping it real, girl! Real crazy.
Just in case you’re about to go through extreme 90 Day Fiance withdrawal (like I am), there’s good news! Season five has been greenlit, as has another season of Happily Ever After. And just in case we need more of this trainwreck (but why even ask because – yes, yes we do!) TLC also plans to run a show next season that highlights the process of couples meeting for the first time and getting to know each other before the 90 day K1 process even begins. Kind of like Nicole and Narkyia’s stories this season, one would presume.
One can only hope that TLC producers and casting agents are already scouring the planet for equally deranged folk willing to be put on blast every week for their terrible life choices. I mean, is there any better TV than this? Answer: Nyet!
TELL US: ARE YOU SURPRISED JORGE AND ANFISA ACTUALLY GOT MARRIED? WILL MATT AND ALLA MAKE IT? WILL AZAN WAIT FOR NICOLE? DID NARKYIA MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE DUMPING LOWO?
Photo Credit: TLC
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