Monday, September 12, 2016

Tamra Judge Believes Vicki Gunvalson Exaggerated Her Injuries And Dishes On Tonight’s Episode of #RHOC

Tamra Judge blog

Tamra Judge blog

After tonight’s bizarro episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra Judge stopped by the Watch What Happens Live Clubhouse to hang with Andy Cohen and Lance Bass. Tamra reveals that she thinks Vicki Gunvalson was exaggerating her injuries and so much more!

Was Tamra surprised when she saw the golfing scene with Jim, Shannon, Meghan and David? “Watching it, I can understand Shannon. Shannon and Vicki are not in a good place, they’re not speaking, there’s a lot of bad blood there. But Meghan just went to Vicki’s birthday in Palm Desert. You know, it’s a 30 minute drive. She could’ve just went or called and said ‘do you have any clothes, do you need a ride, do you need anything?’  So, I was a little bit shocked.”

Andy reads a Tweet from Meghan that says “I never expected Tamra to talk to me like that!”  And Tamra asks, “Like what?”  She then says that they had the phone conversation and she was on pain medication at the time. “I was pissed. I just didn’t want hear it and I just said ‘go to hell’ – sorry!”

A viewer wants to know why Tamra is upset at Shannon and Meghan because Kelly and Heather didn’t go see Vicki at the hospital, either. “When did I ever say I was mad at Shannon? Never said that.” She adds, “First of all, Palm Desert/Palm Springs are like right next to each other – 20 minutes away. We were like 3 hours away. Kelly had her husband, her daughter, Heather had her son. Everybody had their families there.”

A caller asks Lance if Lisa Vanderpump ever mentioned anything about the Munchhausen craziness from last season of RHOBH. He says that they don’t ever talk Housewives because he is such a fan of the show, so they keep it separate from their friendship.

After Tamra watched tonight’s episode does she think Vicki was taking advantage of the accident to regain her friendships with the cast? “Yeah, I do. I think she was exaggerating.” She explains that it’s only because she had a nurse on site that said as soon as Vicki saw Tamra hit the ground, she started grabbing her own neck and flopping around and claiming her neck hurt and before that she had been swiveling around with her neck back and forth, asking what just happened.

Why does Tamra think that Shannon can’t get over what Vicki did? “Shannon is the type of person that holds her friends really close until you cross her in a way like lying about cancer, there’s no going back.”

Poll question: whose side are you on: Meghan & Shannon or Everyone Else?  72% voted for Meghan/Shannon.

TELL US – WAS VICKI EXAGGERATING? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? MEGHAN/SHANNON OR EVERYONE ELSE?

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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‘Million Dollar Listing’ Stars Josh Altman And Heather Bilyeu Have A Baby On The Way

Josh-Altman-Heather-Bilyeu-MDL

Josh-Altman-Heather-Bilyeu-MDL

Congratulations are in order for Million Dollar Listing stars Josh Altman and Heather Bilyeu! The newlyweds have announced that they are expecting their first child together! 

Thankfully for the fans, this will all play out when the next season of Million Dollar Listing airs October 6 on Bravo. But don’t worry, Josh and Heather aren’t leaving all of the juicy material for the show. The couple revealed that Heather is already in her second trimester and they shared the baby’s gender.

CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE

I feel like most reality stars keep their personal news private until the episodes air, but Josh and Heather shared so much exciting info in an interview with Extra.

Heather was super excited when she revealed, “We’re expecting our first child! I just hit the second trimester.” When asked about the baby’s gender, Josh said, “Let’s just do it… I am having a little angel baby girl and I am going to spoil the hell out of her.” That’s so cute. The couple seems really excited to be parents and it’s really sweet.

The Altmans followed the baby trend of the moment and found out that they are having a baby girl with a gender reveal cake. He even paid his assistant $5,000 to keep the information private until the big moment. 

TELL US- ARE YOU EXCITED TO SEE THE ALTMANS’ PREGNANCY JOURNEY ON THE SHOW?

[Photo Credit: Instagram]

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Dancing with the Stars Week 1: Who Was the Biggest Premiere Surprise (Other Than the Hecklers)?

DWTS, Dancing with the StarsAfter what feels like a lifetime away, Dancing with the Stars is back and everything feels right again. The return of Derek Hough, Maks Chmerkovskiy, and Julianne Hough as a judge made...


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So You Think You Can Dance: The Next Generation Crowns a Winner

So You Think You Can Dance: The Next GenerationThere were four remaining dancers heading into the finale of So You Think You Can Dance: The Next Generation: a.k.a. four kids who can dance you under the table any day of the week. But which of...


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DWTS security intervenes after Ryan Lochte confronted (video)

Ryan Lochte's judging on Dancing with the Stars was interrupted by someone who yelled at and/or charged the Olympic swimmer and DWTS 23 contestant. Watch the video. Read this story »

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The Real Housewives of Orange County's ATV Accident Aftermath Leaves Shannon Beador & Meghan King Edmonds Scrambling for Excuses

Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 11Boy, Shannon Beador and Meghan King Edmonds really did not walk away from this episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County looking all that great, did they? We had a feeling that they...


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Monday Night Tea – September 12th

Chris Brown participating in the 2016 Power 106 All Star Celebrity basketball game, at USC Galen Center in Los Angeles, California. Featuring: Chris Brown Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 11 Sep 2016 Credit: Guillermo Proano/WENN.com

Chris Brown participating in the 2016 Power 106 All Star Celebrity basketball game, at USC Galen Center in Los Angeles, California. Featuring: Chris Brown Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 11 Sep 2016 Credit: Guillermo Proano/WENN.com

Chris Brown just can’t quit – Dlisted

TLC has another crazy and disgusting situation with one of its stars – Celebitchy

Was fixer upper canceled? – Starcasm

Woman from this iconic photo passes away – Jezebel

Keith Urban headed for divorce? – Celeb Dirty Laundry

Photo Credit: Guillermo Proano/WENN.com

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The Big Bang Theory's Wedding Portrait Will Give You All the Feels

The Big Bang Theory, Season 10The gang's all here in the season 10 premiere of The Big Bang Theory. And we mean allllll here. As Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) plan to renew their vows in the...


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Kirstie Alley Joins Scream Queens Season 2

Scream Queens, Kirstie AlleyLadies and gentlemen, please welcome the latest royalty to join Scream Queens season two: Kirstie Alley, who is joining the cast as a series regular alongside fellow newcomers John Stamos, Taylor...


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Stranger Things Cast Gets Weird: Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, and Caleb McLaughlin Play "Strangest Things"

Stranger Things, Millie Bobby BrownJust how strange are the stars of Stranger Things? We found out when E! News' Will Marfuggi sat down with Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, and Millie Bobby Brown, the child stars...


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Miley Cyrus offers advice for future 'The Voice' contestants: "Be Bernie Sanders!"



Miley Cyrus has revealed the eyebrow-raising advice she'll give her The Voice team when she serves as a coach on Season 11 this fall.

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Former 'The Willis Family' star Toby Willis arrested and charged for allegedly raping child

Former The Willis Family star Toby Willis, 46, has been arrested and charged with one count of allegedly raping a child.

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Real Housewives Of Orange County Preview: Shannon Beador Accuses Vicki Gunvalson Of Looking For Sympathy Again

Shannon questions Vicki

Shannon questions Vicki

Vicki Gunvalson‘s casserole crusade rages on! At least according to Shannon Beador!

On last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County a scary ATV accident at the Glamis Dunes resulted in Tamra Judge and Vicki being evacuated to a hospital in Palms Springs, where coincidentally Shannon and Meghan Edmonds were golfing with their duds-bands. 

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Heather Dubrow asked if Meghan could put on her ‘real person’ hat to go and check on Vicki, who was alone and pantless with neither a Chanel purse nor a full love tank to keep her company. Meghan declined to go because she didn’t believe Vicki was really that hurt and because they aren’t close friends. On tonight’s episode Shannon learns about the accident and agrees with Meghan’s decision which will leave them facing fierce opposition from the other ladies.  

Defending their decision not to play into Vicki’s Vicktim Machine, Shannon complains, “It’s hard to gauge the severity of this accident when Heather and Kelly are laughing and popping a beer.”

In a preview for Us Weekly, Meghan informs Shannon that she texted Vicki, who sent photos of her injuries, but confirmed she was OK. “If I’m real injured, and I’m in a helicopter, you’re not going to find me taking selfies of myself,” snaps Shannon. “That’s just strange to me.”

Yet, filming a fake funeral and sharing every detail of your husband’s affair with your pre-teen daughters isn’t strange? 

Heather is aghast by Shannon and Meghan’s behavior, resulting in an argument with Meghan. Meghan decides to check in on Vicki at home, meanwhile Shannon isn’t budging on her point!

In other happenings, Tamra learns her injury in Glamis may impact her ability her fitness competition. 

Reality Tea will be live-tweeting, so join us there or right here in the comments!

TELL US – IS SHANNON JUDGING VICKI TOO HARSHLY?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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Michelle Schubert -- 7 things to know about the 'Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X' castaway



Michelle Schubert -- 7 things to know about the castaway competing on Survivor's 33rd edition.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/michelle-schubert----7-things-know-about-survivor-millennials-vs-gen-x-castaway-20570.php

Why It's Time to Get Rid of the Guilt in Guilty Pleasure TV

JoJo Fletcher, Jordan Rodgers, The BacheloretteIn this week leading up to the Emmys, we're honoring the shows and genres that TV's most prestigious and pretentious awards show wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole: the teen dramas,...


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DWTS: Maksim Chmerkovskiy Reflects On Past Seasons; Reveals He Isn’t Allowed To Be Kirstie Alley’s Friend

DANCING WITH THE STARS - MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY AND AMBER ROSE - The stars grace the ballroom floor for the first time on live national television with their professional partners during the two-hour season premiere of "Dancing with the Stars," which airs MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)

DANCING WITH THE STARS - MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY AND AMBER ROSE - The stars grace the ballroom floor for the first time on live national television with their professional partners during the two-hour season premiere of

Tonight marks the return of Dancing With the Stars and the return of pro dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy! The daddy-to-be talked about past season scandals, his relationship with Peta Murgatroyd and more.

Maksim revealed to Us Weekly about why he decided to return to DWTS after sitting out two seasons. “I was on tour with my brother Val this summer. I finished, dillydallied for a while, and I was like, “I want to move a little! So, short of taking f–king salsa lessons, I might as well go do Dancing With the Stars!” My tenure on DWTS was constantly tumultuous. There was always negativity. But this tour was a very cathartic experience. It focused on life through dance, how we got here. Things that bothered me before no longer did.”
When asked about his past accusations that the show unfairly favors Derek Hough, Maks says that the behind the scenes people have changed, so things are much different. “I just literally said everything that everybody else thinks. Listen, I don’t have a problem with Derek. The producers have changed, and it’s different now.” 

Maksim then explains that he is no longer “allowed” to be friends with former partner Kirstie Alley, due to his friendship with former Scientologist Leah Remini. “Scientology happened. You can thank Leah Remini for that. A note was sent to a friend telling me I was “disconnected,” as in, I am no longer allowed to be Kirstie’s friend. I find it ridiculous for an adult human being to “disconnect” from someone. But everyone is entitled to their own insanity.”

On that nasty Hope Solo rumor (she accused Maks of being rough with her). “That lie generated so much publicity, my grandmother was getting death threats! And nobody had my back, nobody helped with the situation. I felt betrayed.”

On partner-pro romances, Maksim says there was never any truth to him dating Meryl Davis. “We never were together. It got to the point where we didn’t even know how to continue saying, “No, we’re not dating.” The funny thing is, I’m engaged, I have a baby coming, and there are still people who think Maks and Meryl can be a thing!”

Maksim DID date (and was engaged to) fellow pro dancer Karina Smirnoff, but he says it’s not an issue. “It’s a very incestuous group. It’s not awkward at all. I’m a very easy person when it comes to not giving f–ks. I don’t know how to put it any other way. I got Peta, so why would it be awkward?”

Derek Hough and Cheryl Burke also shared their two cents on a slew of topics in the same interview. Check it out on Us Mag’s site.

TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT’S SEASON KICK-OFF? WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO FOLLOWING?

Photo Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

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Justin "Jay" Starrett -- 7 things to know about the 'Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X' castaway



Justin "Jay" Starrett -- 7 things to know about the castaway competing on Survivor's 33rd season.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/justin-jay-starrett----7-things-know-about-survivor-millennials-vs-gen-x-castaway-20569.php

Julianne Hough, 'Dancing with the Stars' -- Reality TV Girl Sexy Social Pic of the Day



Julianne Hough, Dancing with the Stars -- the Reality TV Girl Sexy Social Pic of the Day for September 12, 2016.

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Jessica "Figgy" Figueroa -- 7 things to know about the 'Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X' castaway



Jessica "Figgy" Figueroa -- 7 things to know about the Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X castaway.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/jessica-figgy-figueroa----7-things-know-about-survivor-millennials-vs-gen-x-castaway-20567.php

This Gilmore Girls Cemetery Photo Is the Saddest Pic from Netflix's Revival

Gilmore GirlsWe're not crying, you're crying! Okay, we're all crying just looking at the latest photo from Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, which features our favorite Gilmore women...


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Ashley Graham and Christina Hendricks attend Christian Siriano's New York Fashion Week show



Ashley Graham and Christina Hendricks were among the stars who attended Christian Siriano's New York Fashion Week show on Saturday.

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Blac Chyna bares baby bump ahead of 'Rob & Chyna' premiere



Blac Chyna gave fans a glimpse of her growing baby bump in a new post on Thursday.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/blac-chyna-bares-baby-bump-ahead-of-rob-%26-chyna-premiere-1048860.php

The Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson Got an Apology From Meghan King Edmonds After the ATV Accident Aired

Vicki Gunvalson, Meghan King Edmonds, Real Housewives of Orange CountyThe horrifying ATV accident in last week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County left Vicki Gunvalson battered and bruised and alone in a Palm Springs hospital room--and sparked a...


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Amanda Stanton's ex-husband Nick Buonfiglio files for increased child custody, alleges her new lifestyle is "causing harm" to their daughters



Amanda Stanton's ex-husband Nick Buonfiglio is taking her back to court for a custody and child-support battle because he believes her reality TV involvement is "causing harm" to their two young daughters.

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RuPaul Charles wins Outstanding Reality Host Emmy Award for 'RuPaul's Drag Race'



RuPaul Charles has won the 2016 Emmy Award for Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program for RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/rupaul-charles-wins-outstanding-reality-host-emmy-award-for-rupaul-drag-race-20565.php

Great British Bake-Off is leaving the BBC after negotiations fail

The Great British Bake-Off is looking for a new home after negotiations with the BBC failed. The show may move to ITV for its eighth season next year. Read this story »

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Teresa Giudice And Melissa Gorga’s Kids Walk The Runway For New York Fashion Week – Photos

Meet Saturday Night Live's 3 New Cast Members for Season 42

Mikey DayOut with the old and in with the new. After the departures of longtime stars Taran Killam and Jay Pharoah, Saturday Night Live has added three new cast members, NBC announced on...


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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Fiery First Look at Ghost Rider in Action is Finally Here

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4, Gabriel LunaPardon the pun, but this first peek at Ghost Rider on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has got us all fired up. ABC has released the first teaser for season four with the infamous Marvel character...


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Can Ryan Lochte Really Rehab His Image on DWTS? Here's How Other Controversial Contestants Did

Ryan Lochte, Good Morning AmericaAmerica loves a comeback story. Hot on the heels of his Rio robbery scandal, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte is opting to step into the spotlight instead of shy away from it, beginning his...


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Ashley Salter marries college sweetheart Austin Brannen in the Bahamas



Ashley Salter has wed her college sweetheart Austin Brannen.

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Hot Pics: Lisa Vanderpump, Kylie Jenner, Yolanda Hadid, Rupaul And More

Lisa Vanderpump departs from Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) Featuring: Lisa Vanderpump Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 09 Sep 2016 Credit: WENN.com

Lisa Vanderpump departs from Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) Featuring: Lisa Vanderpump Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 09 Sep 2016 Credit: WENN.com

With Real Housewives of Beverly Hills resuming filming of the new season, we’re seeing more shots of the RHOBH crew out and about. Lisa Vanderpump was spotted at the airport, heading off on a vacation with Kyle Richards and Erika Jayne.

Also spotted out and about: Yolanda Hadid and daughter Bella, who was honored with the GQ “Model of the Year” award.

Rupaul, Julianne Hough and more attended the Creative Arts Emmy Awards over the weekend. And Rupaul won for the first time, in the Outstanding Host of a Reality or Reality-Competition Show category!

Also photographed out: Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Kylie Jenner, and more!

Photo Credit: Wenn.com

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Every Season of Dancing With the Stars, Ranked From Worst to Best

Bindi Irwin, Derek HoughBefore season 23, let's talk a waltz down memory lane... Dancing With the Stars, our ultimate feel-good guilty pleasure, returns tonight for another season of blood, sweat and...


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'The Bachelor' alum JJ Lane and Juelia Kinney are dating, he confirms it's "serious"



The Bachelor alum JJ Lane and Juelia Kinney are an item although they left the second season of Bachelor in Paradise as friends in Summer 2015.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-alum-jj-lane-and-juelia-kinney-are-dating-he-confirms-it-serious-20563.php

Rob Kardashian and fiancee Blac Chyna reveal the sex of their baby!



Rob Kardashian and his pregnant fiancee Blac Chyna have revealed whether they have a baby boy or girl on the way.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/rob-kardashian-and-fiancee-blac-chyna-reveal-sex-of-their-baby%21-20562.php

Behold, Our Official Ranking Of the New Fall Shows for 2016--What's No. 1?

Pitch, Man With a Plan, Conviction, The Good PlaceIt's here, it's here. No, not pumpkin season, but the fall TV season! While Dancing With the Stars officially kicks off the 2016 season tonight, the first new show to make it...


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Kim Zolciak Denies Rumors That She Will Appear On RHOA – But Her Kids Might!

Reality TV Listings - Don't Be Tardy

Reality TV Listings - Don't Be Tardy

Kim Zolciak swears she is not returning to the show that made her famous, no matter who tweets otherwise!

Despite what Nene Leakes has been saying lately about Kim being picked up as a cast member, Kim claims she has no plans of appearing on next season’s Real Housewives of Atlanta

NeNe, who likes to keep viewers guessing about whether she will return to RHOA or not each season, tweeted recently that “I wasn’t asked 2 b a full time housewife or part time but they got Sheree [Whitfield] & I think Kim Z.” 

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But according to TMZ, Kim hasn’t filmed anything RHOA-related, nor does she plan to, claiming she “doesn’t see any point in returning.” 

After all, Kim does have her own successful Bravo spinoff in Don’t Be Tardy, which continues filming season after season (after season) – with no seeming end in sight!

Though she may not return to RHOA, Kim shares that her eldest daughters, Ariana and Brielle Biermann, will make a cameo on the show. Apparently the girls attended a birthday party for Sheree’s son, who we saw last season at the DC rally with Sheree and a few cast mates.

RELATED: Kim And Brielle Attend Fashion Event With Porsha Williams 

As for Nene, it’s anyone’s guess whether she will return as a full housewife or not. For all of the shade she threw at RHOA after her departure, Nene seems to cling to the franchise like a veritable life preserver. If I were a betting woman, I’d put all my money on Nene coming back to the series.

She just can’t quit you, RHOA!

TELL US – DO YOU THINK THE RUMORS OF KIM’S RETURN ARE FALSE? WILL NENE BE BACK?

Photo Credit: Paras Griffin/Getty Images

The post Kim Zolciak Denies Rumors That She Will Appear On RHOA – But Her Kids Might! appeared first on Reality Tea.



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Ryan Lochte -- 7 things to know about the 'Dancing with the Stars' celebrity



Ryan Lochte -- 7 things to know about the Dancing with the Stars celebrity competing on Season 23.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/ryan-lochte----7-things-know-about-dancing-with-stars-celebrity--20561.php

'Big Brother' crowns Corey Brooks new HoH, Paul Abrahamian and Victor Arroyo nominated for eviction



Big Brother crowned Corey Brooks the new Head of Household and he in turn nominated Victor Arroyo and Paul Abrahamian for eviction during Sunday night's broadcast on CBS.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/big-brother-crowns-corey-brooks-new-hoh-paul-abrahamian-and-victor-arroyo-nominated-for-eviction-20560.php

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Let Them Eat Crumbs

Melissa

Melissa

On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, desperation and delusion was in the air…I am pretty sure that scent is sprayed over Montville with a crop duster.

Siggy Flicker doesn’t seem to understand that her children are not squishy stuffed animals she can squeeze, squeal at, dress up, and toss around. On the other hand, Siggy’s children don’t understand that she is their mother and they should show her some respect! I dunno maybe it has something to do with Siggy decorating her daughter’s room in No.1 Sophie paraphernalia? Or acting like One Direction has showed up every time she sees Josh

When Josh returns home from passing his driver’s test, the very first words out of mouth are “When are you gonna buy me a car?” Someone is driving straight into his future on the Teresa Giudice entitlement train! 

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Siggy lectures Josh

Dolores Catania is the opposite of Siggy – she’s too relaxed! Dolores doesn’t know where her son Frankie is half the time, and she also doesn’t know where the other half of her kitchen is. Which is funny because her business partner doesn’t know where SHE is 80% of the time, even though she’s supposed to be, you know, working!

When Dolores finally appears at the gym she co-owns following a two week absence (which she blames on putting her dog to sleep), Dolores admits to being co-dependent on Frank, because some part of her doesn’t want to break the pattern of her upbringing to be an independent woman. Dolores’ business partner is not a shrink and isn’t here for her whining about ‘holding herself back.’ He demands she get more present in the gym or the money shortages are coming out of Frank’s her pocket. Hitting Dolores in Frank’s her pocketbook (aka NO MORE MONEY FOR SHOPPING AND SHOES) seems to work: she suggests they start hosting single women nights over the weekend to bring in more members.

I don’t understand – wasn’t Dolores engaged to someone else and she’s been divorced for like 15 years – yet all this time Frank has still been taking care of her and paying all her bills? What is going on here?! 

On the other side of the equation, is Melissa Gorga, who is experiencing a personal revolution in the form of a feminist awakening. I dunno – I’m not into the ridiculous nonsense of Melissa, former author of Secrets Of A Hot & Happy Italian Marriage, teaching Women’s Lib from the walls of the massive New Jersey mansion Poison “put” her in. 

While Poison is making lunch (?) for his kids by flinging food at them, Melissa arrives home after a long day at Envy – which Poison also ‘put’ her in. He immediately demands she go into “the movie theater” for a reminder of her wifely duties. Poison lectures Melissa for abandoning her family and trying to turn him into a woman because he’s now forced to pick up HIS kids from the bus stop so she can earn “crumbs.” Crumbs which he doesn’t want because, he’s earning The Cake!

Melissa and Joe argue

Poison doesn’t want Melissa’s crumbs, but he does want to her to have a home cooked dinner on the table, so she better get her ass in the kitchen! Something about this argument just seems so staged. Maybe it’s the bad acting? I totally believe there’s a part of Poison who wants a traditional Italian wife, but their arguing about this appears really fake. And Melissa’s acting is as natural as her singing. 

Melissa is so distraught by Poison’s attitude she invites relationship expert Siggy over. Siggy has to let herself in through the backdoor because Melissa was so busy cleaning on the other side of her massive house, she didn’t hear Siggy ringing the bell! Siggy also found an envelope in the snow outside their front door. Siggy is a master at nosiness! Melissa complains that her spotless house is messy, blaming her kids and dog. I blame the neanderthal she married who is probably tracking mud and animal matter into the house after his long day hunting game for their food. Me Joe Kill Beaver. 

Teresa brings her daughters to Jacqueline Laurita‘s for a playdate with Nicholas. Actually this was really cute. Teresa explains that Milania is exactly like Joe – a hard nut on the outside, but soft and gooey in the middle. Sort of like a Cadbury Creme Egg! Milania is adorably patient and sweet with Nick, just like Teresa is adorably patient and sweet with the unhinged Jac. 

It’s refreshing to see the ‘person’ side of Teresa who I’ve long mistook for an experiment from Dr. Xavier’s mutant laboratory, but I suppose with Juicy having one foot inside the prison cell and subsisting on a diet of vino, it’s only natural that some of Teresa’s carelessly unhinged facade start to reassemble fragments of a normal human being with emotions. Their attorney stops by to check in as Joe‘s ‘away’ date looms nearer. The attorney encourages Joe to use his sentence to focus on ‘me time’ – since prison is a spa vacation for overwhelmed law students hosted by their university, and all. 

Speaking of, Teresa and Joe do a couples yoga-massage thing which was distractingly icky. A relaxed Teresa definitely lets her delusion flag fly. She’s worried about what to tell the girls about Joe’s absence. She told them she was at a book retreat  – like literally ‘away’ working on her book – and believes they never knew she was in prison! Teresa is shocked when Joe tells her the kids aren’t stupid, plus they have access to the internet, PLUS they VISITED HER IN PRISON. So they knew full-well she wasn’t just writing a book. “But, I did write a book,” protests Teresa. When Joe Giudice is telling you that lying is a bad idea, it’s time to reevaluate your life choices. Ironically, Teresa was in prison under the auspice of doing just that. Namaste In Denial, yous! 

I completely understand Teresa wanting to protect her daughters, but lying is NOT the way to do that! I’m no parenting relationship expert like Siggy, but even I know that when the truth is obviously staring your kids in the face, trying to whitewash it with a fib is gonna come back to slap you in the ass! 

Melissa returns to the kitchen where she belongs

Just like pretending to appease your overbearing misogynistic husband by pretending you love cooking his meatballs and caressing them with sauce just to get him off your back – it’s only gonna make him notice more that there’s less ‘dinner on the table at 6’ happening. No matter how many polygamous commune blouses Melissa puts on, no matter how many times she squeals that she loves her role as wife and mom and caressing Joe’s juicy peperoncini, we all know that Melissa’s secrets of a “hot and happy Italian marriage” burned because she tried to mislead Poison with quick re-heating leftovers.

Since she went to work for ten minutes, Dolores decides to reward herself with dinner and wine at Kathy Wakile‘s house. Kathy’s kitchen looks identical to Melissa’s right down to the molding, by the way. Kathy and Rosie complain that Teresa is not treating every day like a gift, because she doesn’t want a relationship with them. Is it because oh, I dunno, over and over again they claim that they “just want their family back,” but then get on TV to trash Teresa?

Kathy yells Rosie-style about Teresa turning her back, then Rosie practices Kathy’s phony Strega Nona diplomacy by deciding they should attend Teresa’s upcoming book signing and wave the white flag of peace (a Barnes & Noble receipt?), becuase they must mend their family. Dolores laughs wryly that there’s no ending to an Italian feud until somebody dies, and even then…

Whatever Wallpaper

Siggy takes Josh to an uber-expensive restaurant for his birthday dinner. They are joined by her ex-husband, Mark, his new wife, and their toddler. Siggy, who is basically Caroline Manzo 2.0, gushes that family is the most important thing, and that’s why she set up her ex with his new wife. 

Siggy gifts her son with a car

Over dinner, Siggy starts crying because Joshua, age 17, doesn’t want her touching his butt and petting him like he’s the cat to her lonely life. Siggy just wants her children to realize how much she loves them. So she buys their love with super expensive new cars! Well at least Josh was grateful for that. I’m guessing he’ll never let Siggy ride in it, though! 

In a limo to the book signing, Joe caresses Teresa’s leg and tells her she looks hot. That was nice for a change! Jacqueline, who’s working extra hard to act normal, goes to the signing with Chris and Dolores. Dolores warns her that Kathy and Rosie are planning to show up to broker peace on neutral territory. Chris is relieved the police are there – just in case.

If Kathy and Rosie really want to mend their relationship with Teresa, barging into her book signing, in front of RHONJ cameras, doesn’t’ seem like the most sincere approach. Even if they slump over, book between their legs, pretending to be fans, and beseeching Teresa to give them a chance. Also, it’s embarrassingly desperate!

Teresa is right – sending one text congratulating her on her book isn’t ‘being there.’ They never reached out while she was in prison! 

Rosie and Kathy beg Teresa

While Teresa is turning on the charm to fans, sniffling that she’s so grateful they didn’t abandon their love for her because she made one little itsy-bitsy teensy-weeny mistake, Kathy and Rosie arrive. Jacqueline and Dolores hide in the corner, watching through their hands while pretending to take selfies, as Rosie begs Teresa to just have lunch with them “for an hour” so they can talk. 

“My time is really precious right now,” Teresa replies, icing them so hard and so cold I think the TV got frostbite. Teresa pretends she thought she responded to Kathy’s text, but she isn’t sure… she’s just like really busy, you know, having a life that doesn’t involve desperately stalking the cousin you couldn’t stand last season!

Teresa

I’m glad Teresa isn’t falling for this fake BS!

Instead, Teresa is focusing on rebuilding her relationship with Melissa and Joe. While Teresa is sucking up to Melissa to piss Kathy offRosie corners Juicy to apologize for calling him an a-hole and begging him to love her again. Joe responds by storming out. Teresa soon follows.

Kathy and Rosie (and Jacqueline) need to chill on the hardcore desperado act. Teresa’s coattails only extend so far… 

TELL US – SHOULD TERESA GIVE KATHY AND ROSIE ANOTHER CHANCE? IS JOE BEING AN UNSUPPORTIVE A-HOLE TO MELISSA? OR IS MELISSA FEEDING HER FAMILY ‘CRUMBS’?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

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