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In a pretty surprising turn of events, Real Housewives Of Dallas has turned into the gift that keeps on giving. The entire cast actually shows up to group functions. The story lines don’t drag on longer than they should and everyone has relationships that exist outside of the show. They even have the perfect balance of arguing and turning up.
Basically, the Texans are giving us everything that the Orange County Housewives forgot how to do. One person who is constantly delivering the entertainment is Brandi Redmond. Some people find her to be hilarious and others are not on board with her brand of humor- cough cough Kameron Wrstcott. Nevertheless, Brandi someone that always keeps things interesting.
Brandi opened up about the last episode in her Bravo blog. Of course, she had to address the cause of the argument she ignited between Cary Deuber and LeeAnne Locken based on comments that Cary (allegedly) made about Brandi’s plastic surgeon. Brandi wrote, “First, let me start by saying that as an adult I am by no means in charge of holding anyone but myself accountable for their actions. So the fact that Cary expected me to hold LeeAnne accountable is ridiculous.” The fact that Cary denied criticizing Brandi’s doctor, back pedaled on her comments, and seemed to have no remorse was ridiculous.
Brandi insisted, “I don’t care if Cary can’t look at me in the face, but I will look straight at her and confirm that I’m not lying about the doctor comment. I had Cary on bluetooth with my mom in the car as we were leaving the doctor’s appointment after booking surgery when she said what she said.” The fact that Cary went from denying this all together to clarifying what she actually said is a pretty strong indication that Brandi is on the right side of history with this one.
Brandi explained sharing the anecdote: “And once again, me telling LeeAnne was an attempt to blow off the vagina doctor comment. I was wrong for repeating it, and I’m sorry for making the situation worse, but it was said”
And then Brandi had to get to her obligatory Kameron comments since these two have had issues during every episode this season. Even so, Brandi rarely mentioned the Elle Woods wannabe by name. She referred to her as “Big Bird” throughout most of the blog post.
Brandi theorized, “I think that she has a double standard, because to her it’s OK to talk about washing your vagina at a beach picnic since it’s ‘medically necessary.’ It would have been a different story had I said that. I can hear her in my head saying, ‘Well Brandi, if you need to do that, go do it, but we don’t need to know about your lady parts.'” We all know that is how that conversation would go down. Sure, Brandi doesn’t have a sophisticated sense of humor, but Kameron needs to lighten up a little bit and stop judging her so harshly.
Brandi declared, “So whatever — I’m so over Big Bird.” Surprisingly enough she did say, “However, I do need to apologize to Kameron because she isn’t totally full of sh–.”
Brandi continued, “Did I make fun of LeeAnne and her compact? Yes, but LL knows I would do and have done so to her face. Second, did I say things about LeeAnne with the other ladies? Yes I did, but we were talking about the ‘hands-not-knives’ situation.” Pretty much nothing could ever top LeeAnne’s instantly infamous rant at the plastic surgeon’s office.
She wrote, “Again, I said LeeAnne comes off as ‘mentally unstable’ in my opinion because of how she acts when she breaks and lashes out. So there, I said it. I own not only that I said it, but that I meant it too. It can be scary for the person on the receiving end. So Big Bird, let’s hope you don’t cross her one day.”
I actually hope for the opposite. LeeAnne unleashing on Kameron would be epic. Better yet, D’Andra Simmons seems to be the only one who can check LeeAnne and get away with it, so maybe she should apply that skills set in a conversation with Kameron. If anyone can use a reality check from D’Andra, it’s Kameron.
Brandi wrote, “LeeAnne and I have some serious history, and you know what, I do love to hate her and hate to love her. I can’t say the same for Kameron“- a sentiment echoed by many.
RELATED: RHOD’s Cary Deuber Adamantly Denies Brandi Redmond’s Recollection Of Her Plastic Surgeon Advice
Tonight is an all new episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas.
“It’s Brandi’s annual holiday party and she finds herself center of the drama when LeeAnne reveals that Cary can’t be friends with her and Stephanie anymore because of their behavior in Mexico. And when Brandi challenges her for an explanation, Cary sides with Kameron, infuriating Brandi so much, she blurts out a humiliating secret about Cary and Mark.”
Join us in the comments to live-snark through the episode at 10/9 C!
TELL US- DO YOU BELIEVE BRANDI’S VERSION OF THE STORY ABOUT CARY’S DOCTOR COMMENTS?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Brandi Redmond Insists That Cary Deuber Commented About Her Plastic Surgeon; “So Over” Kameron Westcott appeared first on Reality Tea.
The Bachelor is hoping to rev your enthusiasm engines a little early this season. Bachelor Nation was a bit shocked when it was announced that Arie Luyendyk Jr., the runner-up from Emily...
Lydia McLaughlin has left us all confused this season. She’s been both the voice of reason and a total pot-stirrer who finds herself iced out, but she certainly never lacks for finding herself in the midst of drama.
The Real Housewives Of Orange County star warns that there is still plenty of craziness in store – especially once the cast lands in Iceland “I feel like this season finally really picks up and everybody is together and we leave the country together so there’s nowhere to hide, conversations have to happen,” Lydia shared. “People have to talk or express how they’re feeling about one another.”
So what exactly do these talks reveal? “What everybody’s been waiting for starts to happen,” hints Lydia. You mean, Vicki and Tamra finally find reach resolution? Or at least they definitively decide to get over themselves? Lydia doesn’t say, but whatever happens in Iceland breaks some serious ice!
Dishing from a party to celebrate NOBLEMAN Magazine‘s nationwide launch to Barnes & Noble stores (which was attended by Vicki, Kelly Dodd, Meghan Edmonds, and Peggy Sulahian), Meghan agrees that Iceland is “f–king insane.”
“It’s like you’re on Mars when you’re there. The unexpected happens the entire trip. Iceland is seriously cuckoo,” Meghan dishes to E! News. “I seriously think they could make 10 episodes out of it. I swear they could do an entire season out of Iceland.” Wowers. Serious drama in serious scenery? Yes, please!
“I’m probably looking as forward to those episodes in Iceland as I looked forward to outing Brooks not having cancer episodes,” confessed our intrepid Meghany Drew.
Lydia dished that “tempers flare” so much that “someone ends up leaving early and not flying back with everybody because they are so upset.”
“Let’s just say there are a couple of battles. A couple of cries. A couple of yellings and it’s crazy,” Peggy adds. “You’re going to have to see it to believe it. All I can say is it’s a roller coaster.”
Tonight the rollercoaster that is RHOC continues when Meghan hosts an aura-reading party. Cause these women never learn that psychics and housewives = psychosis. Obviously Vicki and Kelly are left off the guest list, and obviously Shannon Beador gets her feelings hurt when the aura-ist questions her zenitude.
Vicki visits a cardiologist to see if she’s indeed suffering from a broken heart. (Hint: she’s fine). Meanwhile Peggy and Shannon continue to suffer drama over Diko and David. After Shannon has another meltdown, she confesses to Tamra that her marriage is once again falling apart. Finally, Lydia decides this group needs to travel to the iciest place on earth to gain a little perspective!
Make sure to join our virtual-viewing party in the comments and to check out our RHOC recap tomorrow morning!
TELL US – WHO DO YOU THINK STORMS OFF THE ICELAND TRIP?
Photo Credit: Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Eurocar
The post Lydia McLaughlin Says Someone Leaves Early On The “Insane” RHOC Trip To Iceland! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Dancing With the Stars professional dancer Jenna Johnson, now part of the dance troupe on the ABC series, is taking you behind the scenes of season 25. Last week was pretty heavy for all...
Kailyn Lowry officially called it quits with Javi Marroquin by allegedly cheating on him while he was deployed. After their breakup, the exes paid a visit to Marriage Boot Camp, where Javi hoped to save their marriage and work through infidelity, but Kail, well, she had different plans (like a baby in the belly!).
On the Friday premiere, Kail revealed that she did not consider it cheating when she started seeing Chris Lopez, because she and Javi were already separated. Kail also claimed Javi lied that he had filed for divorce. Javi denies this. “I did, in my heart, kind of hope this bootcamp would make her fall in love with me,” the Teen Mom 2 dad confessed. “So I still held on.”
Kailyn admitted to having totally different intentions when going on Marriage Boot Camp, and believed Javi shared her same outlook. “I thought we were going in, literally, to make co-parenting work,” she told Us Weekly.
RELATED – What Lessons Did Farrah Learn From Family Boot Camp?
Even though Bootcamp didn’t fix his marriage, Javi is glad he participated with Kail because it gave them a friendship. “Once you get home, you reflect on all the drills and what they taught us and I’m so happy. Our relationship is great. Right now we are co-parenting really well. As far as the (future) goes I can’t predict it, so who knows.”
Javi even re-shared a photo of him kissing Kail at the Boot Camp premiere party. “Despite everything that happened between us, I’m happy we are at a place where we can go to events, have a good time, and be civil. We’re doing a pretty good job raising these kids @kaillowry #oneteam,” he captioned it. LOVE this attitude. Go Javi!
Javi also thinks the show will make him better in future relationships. “A lot of the drills were communication, so we learned how to talk to each other instead of at each other!” he explained. Why do I feel like Kail learned nothing at all?
TELL US – DO YOU THINK JAVI WANTED TO SAVE HIS MARRIAGE?
[Photo Credit: WeTV]
The post Javi Marroquin Thought Marriage Boot Camp Would Save His Marriage To Kailyn Lowry appeared first on Reality Tea.
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If at first you don’t succeed; try, try again, right? Such is the case with Melissa Gorga trying to sell her Montville, NJ, mansion! Melissa and Joe Gorga have once again listed their 9,000 square-foot behemoth with an asking price of $3.5 million in the hopes of finally unloading it.
The Gorgas supposedly purchased the home in 2007 for $950,000 – even though Joe was actually the builder (essentially they purchased the home from his company?). Rumors even swirled that Joe, a luxury home developer, initially built the house with a construction loan to sell, but they moved in when Melissa joined Real Housewives Of New Jersey to provide the illusion of being uber wealthy.
Melissa and Joe have been trying to sell the home for YEARS and it’s been the subject of a lot of legal wrangling and other dramas. The Gorgas had a potential buyer at the asking price of $3.8M, but then enter thy beaver (something Poison knows all about!!).
The hopeful new owner took occupancy of what is now infamously named Casa de Leaky Beaver, in a rent-to-own type deal, but alleged misleading conditions, a beaver infestation, and other complaints led to him to eventually stop making payments. The Gorgas sued over the missed payments and back to Montville Melissa and Joe go. You can catch up on all that drama here.
RELATED – Melissa Gorga Dishes On Upcoming RHONJ Drama
Today, Melissa and Joe are trying, yet again, to make a sale of the massive monstrosity (‘member the faux granite sinks?!). And they’ve since made improvements such as adding a spa-like pool and hair salon.
Melissa and Joe’s real estate agent describes the property as a “celebrity estate” and boasts of prospective buyers being able to touch a bit of “Hollywood Hills glam meets East Coast style.” We’ve all seen it’s details courtesy of Bravo, which include the recording studio in the unfinished basement, but the property also features 2 acres of land, six bedrooms, and 7.5 bathrooms.
So where will they go? Melissa and Joe built a home in Franklin Lakes, which they never took occupancy of courtesy of Beaver-Gate and then reportedly sold for $2.65 million back in July 2016. However, NJ.com learned that the property records show the home has never been sold and is not currently on the market! Which means Melissa and Joe still own it? Maybe the family pizza parlor owners could just move in with Teresa Giudice?!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK MELISSA AND JOE WILL MANAGE TO SELL THE HOME WITHOUT INCIDENT?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
The post Melissa Gorga Trying To Sell Montville, NJ Mansion Again! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Although Shahs of Sunset is far from being the fun show that it used to be, these people really bring it when they appear on Watch What Happens Live. The shade throwing and tea spilling was at a high point when Reza Farahan and Mike Shouhed stopped by the clubhouse.
Reza threw some major shade at Shervin Roohparvar. Mike continued to talk shit about Asa Soltan Rahamti. These two did not hold back at all.
Thankfully, Asa has pretty much disappeared from Shahs of Sunset, but she did pop up during the last episode to talk about how she’s so done with the group. Right. As if the whole cast wasn’t done with her first. Nice attempt at changing the narrative there, Asa.
Andy Cohen asked Mike about Asa and he said, “I thought I was a good friend to her. I did lend a helping hand every time I could. It hurts me because her perception is incorrect.” Oh well. Who wants to hang out with someone who constantly lies and promotes diamond water and caftans? Not me, that’s for sure.
Andy asked, “How are you guys with Asa today?” Mike admitted, “I don’t have a relationship with her.” He even said, “She went as far as to bash me and tell me I’m racist and that I was racially inclined with my questions. It had nothing to do about that.” Andy added, “That was an interesting conversation at the reunion.” Wow.
When asked about baby plans with husband Adam Neely, Reza revealed, “Adam is actually Farahan. He’s not a Neely anymore and we had a plan. We were going to buy a house first, get settled, and then we would buy eggs and have a baby. We bought a house. We’re in the middle of renovations. As soon as the cash situation comes up a little bit after the renovation, we’re going to have a kid.”
Mike wasn’t buying that explanation and made that clear when he started fake coughing. Andy asked Mike, “Do you think he’s making excuses?” Mike shared, “This guy makes money. Every time I talk to him, he’s got another deal going.” Reza admitted, “I’m buying time. I’m buying a little time. I’m being honest.”
Andy wanted to know if Mike was mad that no one told him that his ex wife Jessica Parido emailed his mother about getting back together. Mike said, “Yeah.” Reza copped to his shit stirring and said, “I told Golnesa [Gharachedaghi] that it was a mitzvah for her to go talk.” Mike explained, “He’s like that evil big brother.” Or he’s just trying to stimulate story lines on a reality TV show. Still, Mike admitted, “It hurt me that Reza knew about it and never told me.” How did Reza know about the email, but Mike did not?
And then there’s that conversation with GG and Mike’s mom. As expected, Mike said, “I didn’t like it. I was livid because that had nothing to do with Golnesa or my friends. That’s between me and my family.” Reza yelled, “You’re on a reality show!” Mike insisted, “Come on man, I cut my veins and bled on television.”
Mike was not feeling the Jessica topic and he declared, “There is no relationship. Let’s put this to rest. I don’t want to bring it up anymore.” Reza summed it up perfectly when he said, “It’s kind of like asking Bethenny [Frankel] about Jill Zarin. That’s how he feels.” Andy said, “Now I understand.”
Reza made it clear that he doesn’t feel bad about sharing Asa’s fertility secrets on the show. He said, “I didn’t apologize to Asa because she had told people that she had gone to the clinic. She actually was not honest about the time frame of when she was doing what she was doing and it slipped. It was just such a big lie and I was holding it for so long. It came out and that was it.”
Speaking of fertility, Andy asked Mike and Reza if MJ Javid is ready to have a baby. Reza said, “Absolutely.” Mike agreed and added, “Mentally, yes. Physically, not yet.” Reza also said, “I was upset with Golnesa when she said MJ wasn’t ready. She’s super ready.”
And then Reza unleashed when asked about Shervin’s “swervin” antics. He shared, “He was trying to bone Leila Gharache, aka GG’s sister, but he couldn’t get it up because when some people do certain things, their penis doesn’t perform the way they’re supposed to.” Shots fired. He wasn’t done though. He claimed, “Shervin is the biggest con artist on Shahs of Sunset. He is literally the fakest human being.” Well, that’s saying a lot. DAMN.
TELL US – IS SHERVIN FAKE? SHOULD ASA RETURN TO SHAHS OF SUNSET NEXT SEASON?
Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo
The post Reza Farahan Says Shervin Roohparvar Is A Con Artist; Asa Soltan Rahmati Accused Mike Shouhed Of Being Racist appeared first on Reality Tea.
Meet Samantha. Samantha is going to be your next Supergirl big bad. Only thing is Samantha doesn't know it yet. Fans of the CW superhero series got their first taste of Sam...
Based on the last Real Housewives of New York season and the current Real Housewives of Dallas season, I feel like every Real Housewives cast needs to go on an annual Mexico trip. These episodes have the best mix of drama and fun times.
The episodes have also showed us a different side of D’Andra Simmons, who has had the tough task of being LeeAnne Locken’s best friend and joining the cast as friend of Kameron Westcott‘s – who is far from a fan favorite. I’m sure D’Andra had some vicarious stress since pretty much everyone else in the cast was arguing, but she managed to turn up and make some peace without overdoing it with the meddling.
D’Andra discussed the last episode in her Bravo blog. “The whole trip had been drama and fight after fight. I was in desperate need of some good old- fashioned fun! I really enjoyed getting to laugh, do some MORE tequila shots and hang out with the three girls, and let loose! Don’t get me wrong, I love a night in with face masks and lounging like Kameron Westcott and Cary Deuber were doing, but after that stressful dinner, I needed an escape!”
I feel bad for the crew members who had to stay back at the hotel filming Kameron and Cary while everyone else got to experience D’Andra, LeeAnne, Brandi Redmond, Stephanie Hollman partying at the bar.
D’Andra explained why she had the group do athletic competitions on a vacation. It doesn’t look like my idea of fun, but it did seem like it helped out with the strained dynamics. D’Andra wrote, “Sadly, I knew that the only way that this would work or do any good, was to FORCE the ladies to break into teams of two – teams of two that were basically their worst nightmares. I coupled LeeAnne and Cary, Kam and Brandi, and last and least drama of all, Stephanie and me.”
She discussed the short-lived harmony between Brandi and Kameron: “I truly thought that the bonding and WINNING between ‘Big Bird’ and ‘Elmo’ was leading to a truce between them. That was obviously wishful thinking. Moving to the yacht, we see that nothing has changed. Overall, I really do think that this was an enjoyable bonding moment for the six of us that we REALLY needed! We may not always get along, but it is encouraging to know we can work together when we have to in case we have to do a HOUSEWIVES SURVIVOR full-cast show in the future!” That sounds like a promising premise for a spin-off series.
Unlike some people on this show (cough cough Kameron), D’Andra actually has a sense of humor and can take a joke. She wrote, “Later on, we see that Brandi and Stephanie are up to their old shenanigans. Stephanie really hit the nail on the head with her impersonation of me ha, ha…I loved it! Seeing her handle ‘Brandi-LeeAnne‘ like I do was hysterical. I like that she has been taking notes!”
Even though D’Andra thought the impersonations were hilarious, she was not feeling the rest of their expedition. D’Andra explained, “I did think it was seriously good TV to watch these two impersonate us! On another note, am I pleased they went through our room? No. And I was very surprised that they were allowed to do it. Of course, these two would go to any extremes to locate and abduct ‘sexual chocolate’ to cause yet another scene.” The sexual chocolate was funny at first, but they dragged out that joke for way too long.
D’Andra added, “Like Brandi said, she needed to harass Kam ONE MORE TIME. Why? I do not know, other than that she had ZERO intention of trying to have a civil relationship with Kam.” Kameron also criticizes every single move Brandi makes so it seems like there is zero shot at a friendship here. Neither of them seems interested in the idea.
Getting back to the drama, D’Andra shared, “Not one to shy away from the truth, I needed to clear the air and hear this vicious rumor that Cary had been spreading around about Rich [Emberlin]. I honestly was concerned, as it was the elephant in the room that had only been spoken of in closed circles. I didn’t know what to expect. The drama twins had made it sound TERRIBLE!”
D’Andra continued, “Cary lets the cat out of the bag and sure enough it’s MORE childish gossip, this time about Rich’s manhood. What grown woman thinks it’s funny to make up a rumor about someone’s penis size out of nowhere, especially a woman who THROWS A FIT when her husband is gossiped about! Like LeeAnne said last episode, the other girls can get away with anything and sweep it under the rug, while she gets ROASTED for any indiscretion. Why was it so casually dismissed that Cary was trying to stir up the drama? Quoting Cary from Episode 1, ‘Coming in HOT, like a missile’, she was doing the same, yet LeeAnne gets dragged through the coals once again? Riddle me that!”
EXACTLY! Plus, they should all be grateful to LeeAnne for keeping the show going. If it wasn’t for LeeAnne, this would be the most boring show on the planet.
As per usual, D’Andra spoke the truth: “Brandi was right. They both need to ‘own up’ to what they said and work it out. Can we be over this ‘He said, She said’ NONSENSE and enjoy our boat ride?! Probably not. The fighting continues, and of course, tears are shed. Imagine that. Do I hear both sides? Yes. Was LeeAnne wrong passing on what she heard about Mark [Deuber]? Yes. Am I picking a side? No. Why? Because both ladies were at fault on many levels and they both know it.” Yep. No one was right in this situation.
Unfortunately, D’Andra had to reference the third dildo-related story line: “No drama-filled boat ride would be complete without an encore appearance from ‘sexual chocolate.’ Brandi was FOR SURE out of line bullying Kameron again. She is hyper aware that Kam isn’t comfortable with the dildo. A friend would accept that and leave Kam alone. I’m disappointed in Brandi for NOT being a better friend to Kameron, especially after the team building exercise on the beach. LEAVE HER ALONE!”
At first, I was an avid member of Team Brandi. I am still going to choose Brandi over Kameron every single time, but she pushed that “sexual chocolate” joke way longer than she ever should have. Was it bullying? I wouldn’t go that far, but it got tired and annoying as hell. Next story line, please.
RELATED: D’Andra Simmons Teases Drama With Brandi Redmond On Real Housewives Of Dallas
TELL US – WAS CARY TRYING TO STIR UP DRAMA? DID BRANDI “BULLY” KAMERON?
[Photo Credit: F. Scott Schafer/Bravo]
The post D’Andra Simmons Thinks Cary Deuber “Was Trying To Stir Up Drama” & Brandi Redmond Bullied Kameron Westcott appeared first on Reality Tea.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta has had its fair share of dramatic parties, but the one above seems to take the cakes. Why? There are zombies involved...for some reason. Sure, some of...
Well, another season of Shahs of Sunset has officially drawn to a close and instead of Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi ending up as the outcast of the season, instead we find Persian Pop Priestess and staple cast member, Asa Soltan Rahmati, exiled from this group of overgrown hooligans.
I think we all saw it coming when bestie/worstie of friends Reza Farahan didn’t exactly jump to Asa’s defense during her falling out with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over whether or not Asa used IVF to conceive her “miracle baby.” But let’s face it, MJ wasn’t really mad about Asa using IVF or not, she was really just pissed that Asa beat her to the punch when it came to having a kid. So MJ just found the weakest link in the Asa Chain (the fact that Asa isn’t forthcoming with all aspects of her life) and exploited it with the rest of the Shahs to get them on board with casting Asa aside. And it actually worked!
Reza described Persians as tribal people and this tribe decided that Asa was voted off the island, cast away to the land of bed rest where she would be forced to live out the rest of her pregnant days with no one to openly complain/gloat to.
But what would a season ending be without a completely made up reason to throw a party? For that, the Shahs bring you a Winter Wonderland Party or what Mike Shouhed would call a Persian Ball and what I would call the Persian Prom. It is all looking and sounding familiar and I think I might have used Persian Prom to describe an episode in a previous season but hey, if the Shahs are going to recycle parties thanks to a lack of creative ideas, then your trusty Shahs Recapper should get a pass too.
We join GG and Reza at the party planner’s show room and they didn’t hire just any party planner for this made up and pointless event, they hired the Bravo party planner – Kevin, a/k/a Lisa Vanderpump’s on call event planner, a/k/a “chi chi chi there is no such thing as a budget.” I love Kevin so was hoping to see more of his nonsense but alas, he scoots away so GG and Reza can talk about Mike’s broken up marriage.
GG and Jessica Parido still talk and Jessica let GG in on the fact that she wrote an email to Mike’s mom, apologizing for everything that happened. Come again now? Jessica, who got cheated on and publicly dogged out by her husband, is apologizing to his mom in the hopes of reconciling with said cheater husband. Yes, you are reading that right. The best part? His mom shut it down, still angry about how her precious baby boy is being treated. I cannot take this golden dool stuff anymore – cultural or not, Mike’s mom is enabling a grown man to think that treating your then-wife like garbage is something that allows you to run back to your mommy for sympathy because your wife then chooses to leave you. Somehow we end up in a place where Reza convinces GG to talk to his mom and get her out of the way of Mike and Jessica reconnecting.
MJ and fiancé Tommy Feight (my new favorite person) are Driving Miss Vida to the hospital to visit her dad for the holidays. They argue the whole way, with Tommy finally telling them to knock it off. Surprisingly, Vida listens and promises him that they will stop fighting. They arrive in their matching plaid pajamas, with the dogs in tow, to decorate her dad’s room with little fake trees. This is all super cute and sweet and for once, MJ didn’t have her boobs out to go and visit her sick father. They even use a selfie stick and take a picture of them all together, surrounding her dad in his hospital bed.
Do you guys remember a few episodes ago when Reza was working on a play and he rehearsed some lines with MJ in his living room? Yeah, I skipped right over it in my recap because I was hoping it would never come to light anyway. Well, I was wrong and it has so we must talk about it.
The play, aptly titled “Eez Not Right” is what Reza would like you to think is a more highbrow version of GG’s recent play since no blow jobs are involved. The plot centers around two Persian grandmothers, one Jewish and one Muslim, planning their grandson’s gay wedding. Reza has MJ and Jefferson come and do a run-through with him, only to realize MJ hasn’t memorized a single line. She is trying to draw on her acting experience from that one class she took once (with fellow students Monica Lewinski and Eric Menendez) but there’s only so much you can do when you don’t haven’t read the script more than once.
Good thing the opening night is really just a few Shahs coming to see this little game of dress up, which Reza could have saved a few bucks on and hosted in his living room. Reza plays the one grandmother, in full drag with his caterpillar muzzy and a horrible accent, while MJ plays the other, reading from an open script through the whole thing. When the whole thing is over, Reza muses that he can finally close the chapter on his family and religious issues and hopes that he can take his show on the road to “do some good.” If he wants to do some good, he could just end the play right then and there, which is likely what will happen anyway.
Back at home, Reza and husband Adam Neely are still trying to figure out how they want to have a baby. Reza wants to adopt and Adam wants to go the surrogacy route, which is pretty expensive. Since they want to have a house and not a rescue cat filled condo for the baby, Reza is busy selling off properties to buy one and pay for the $120K price tag that comes with surrogacy to begin with. Clearly, there is some animosity building because when Reza jokingly refers to Adam as a chicken (the actual animal), the talk turns sour and Adam pouts that Reza is mean. It escalates to Reza feeling like he’s always being dismissed and Adam feeling like Reza talks down to him. All because Reza said Adam was like a farm animal.
We finally have a segment with Asa, who has been completely missing from the last two episodes with what is now explained as bed rest. Reza and Adam come to visit and watch her lay in bed and talk about how guilty she feels that her kaftan business is picking up but she is prioritizing caring for her pregnant self. This is one of the reasons why everyone is finding Asa so annoying – even when she is complaining about something in her life, it’s because something else is so amazing. Like all the pregnancy complaints because of her beautiful miracle baby or how hard it is to have a booming business but still be pregnant at the same time.
Reza asks if she feels a disconnect from her friends and Asa maintains that it’s less of a disconnect with them and more of a reconnect with herself. See what I mean about every complaint always being because of something better?
Asa can’t even admit to feeling disconnected from the group, despite going on and on about how negative they are. She admits that six years ago when they were connected, it was all about partying and having a good time but now that Asa’s life has evolved, she doesn’t want to deal with all the popping off and gossiping about one another. Reza takes this as a big eff you to the group, claiming that now that Asa has everything she wants (man, baby, successful line of kaftans), she doesn’t need them anymore. Truthfully though, is that so wrong? I mean, can you blame her? Either way, Asa is skipping the Persian Prom/Winter Wonderland party.
We get to the big night and when Reza and Adam go to pick up MJ and Tommy, we get to see the results of MJ finally getting her boobs in gear and redecorating her apartment so it looks more like a home and less like a crack den. While Tommy and MJ finish getting ready, Adam and Reza decide now would be a great time to rehash their argument so Reza tells Adam how dismissive he’s being. Adam snaps back that he’s so quick to throw out the word divorce but before they can go any further, Mike arrives in full eyeliner and tuxedo and marvels at how the condo has come together. Reza and Adam have no choice but to table the conversation and head to the party.
Everyone arrives and hits the buffet, which Mike is also claiming is some kind of Persian thing that Americans wouldn’t understand. I guess he’s never been to an all you can eat Chinese place? When Shervin Roohparvar arrives, Tommy jokes that he’s a carpenter now because he nails everything. Get it?! Did I mention Tommy is my new favorite?
GG runs around flashing her engagement ring and crowing about being engaged while Shalom looks uncomfortable but once Mike’s mom Sue arrives, GG has to stop bragging about herself and get down to meddling. GG pulls her aside and tells her how Mike still loves Jessica and she knows about the email Jessica sent her. Sue tries to act like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and at this point, Mike comes rushing over, trying to break things up. Sue shoos him away and he reluctantly leaves, but stews in the background, knowing that GG is up to no good.
As GG goes on, Sue says that everyone (meaning Jessica) makes mistakes but she took Jessica in as her own and even after going to doctor’s appointments with her and making her soup, she doesn’t think that she should have just left when “something happened.” I guess having your marriage vows stomped on by a golden dool that couldn’t keep to itself is Sue’s version of something happening. Either way, the end result of her conversation with GG is “thanks but no thanks, I’m going to continue to hate Jessica.”
Now it’s Mike’s turn to talk to GG and he’s mad that she inserted herself into his business. Bravo takes us for a fun trip down memory lane by then inserting a clip of GG drunkenly screaming at Mike about how he tried to sleep with her in Turkey while Jessica looks on. GG decides she’s not going to take the fall for this and tells Mike it’s Reza he should be mad at since he put her up to it. I guess accountability doesn’t fall under this New and Improved GG. Mike goes over to Reza to yell at him but Reza tells him about the email Jessica sent his mom and Mike was unaware of this. Reza urges him to not let his chance at love slip away all because of his mom’s disapproval. Mike listens and immediately tells his mom that she has to understand that his decisions are his own and he wants her to support that. She agrees to and they go back to the party.
Adam is at the bar telling MJ about his argument with Reza and how it’s making him want to reevaluate being married, even though one of the reasons Adam is mad at Reza is for how easily he talks about divorce. MJ calls Reza over and starts moderating but finds that her work is done when Reza quickly and sincerely apologized. They head off to awkwardly dance together and Reza muses about how they all keep growing and laughing together and he can’t understand why Asa doesn’t want to be on that path with them.
As the night winds down, GG gives a toast, telling everyone about her “revolutionary year” and then screams that Shalom put a ring on it, like everyone didn’t already know after she walked around the whole party telling them. Fast forward a month and we are treated to the moment they said “I do.” Then fast forward another month to the headlines of them filing for divorce and Reza asking viewers if anyone saw it coming. He raises his hand, like we are all doing at home.
This was a pretty uneventful episode but I’m guessing that means the reunion will be anything but! What do you guys think?
Photo Credit: Bravo
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