Well that was incredible. Lady Gaga doesn't need a stage to put on a mind-blowing performance, because her Carpool Karaoke segment on tonight's Late Late Show felt like an actual...Below Deck stars Kelley Johnson and Nico Scholly were Andy‘s guests on Watch What Happens Live tonight. While in the clubhouse, they dished on Captain Lee‘s toughness, the Emily Warburton Adam love triangle (Or was it a quadrangle? Whatever is was, I still do not get all the fuss over Emily!), Kate Chastain‘s legal woes, and more.
Andy asks Nico about his accent. He jokes that it’s “mostly drunk.” Nico shares that he’s from Chicago, but adds, “Working on a boat for almost two years [and yachting for five years], you start picking up these different culture accents.”
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Andy wants to know if Captain Lee is too tough or if the crew is too crappy. “At the time, we saw it as he put a lot of pressure on us and wanted standards really high,” says Kelley. “Now that I look back on it, I think he just wanted us to raise our standards even more. And he thought we could do more than what we were doing.”
Nico adds, “He is trying to make us excel in points that we thought were okay, but he wants to see better than okay; he wants to see excellent.” Kelly boasts, “Because he sees that potential in us.”
Between Kate, Lauren Burchnell, Emily, or Sierra Storm:
Who would you never want to work with again? Nico and Kelley both say Sierra. Kelley adds, “She goes from one end to the other – she is very emotional.”
Who would you choose to work with for the rest of your yachting career? Lauren.
Who have you had the most sex dreams about? Nico and Kelley both say Kate.
Who has the highest freak number? Kate. Kelley points out, “She dipped into the closet,” and Nico adds, “And out of the closet before.”
Who would you want to have a one-night stand with? Kate. “Because she has history,” says Nico. “She’s got experience.”
Who would you donate a kidney to first? Nico and Kelley both say Lauren. Kelley shares, “She’s like my little sister.”
Then, because these questions were not misogynistic enough on their own, Andy “drums” on Sierra, Lauren, Emily, and Kate‘s heads on the screen. For, like, a whole minute. <eye roll>
A caller asks if Nico and Kelley are currently single. The answer is no for both.
Has fired SENIOR deckhand Trevor Walker reached out? Kelley shares, “He actually messaged me and tried to reconnect and I just didn’t have anything to do with that.” Nico says he ran into Trevor in Fort Lauderdale, adding, “He is still the same man.”
A caller challenges Nico and Kelley to say three nice things about Trevor. 1) “He has wonderful hair.” 2) “He tried,” acknowledges Kelley. “I just do not think the social skills were there for him.” 3) “He smelled magnificently horrible.”
What are Nico‘s thoughts on Kelley‘s behavior towards Sierra and Kyle?
“He’s looking out for the best for the crew. He looks over not only the interior, but also the exterior, because he’s the bosun and he’s in charge of everybody for the most part. There’s different ways you can approach things, but you need to have some leeway towards other people and you need to lay down the law when it comes to disrespecting someone. I think he did well with both being a friend and a boss at the same time and telling her what needs to be done.”
Nico admits he was “irritated” with Kelley for telling Emily he had a girlfriend. “I was not dating someone during the show.”
When asked why he tried to kiss Sierra when he liked Emily, Nico jokes, “She is a cute girl and I was drunk and that’s why they call me Freako.”
A caller asks about the domestic violence charges against Kate. “I know Kate,” says Kelley. “It’s unfortunate but I stand behind her 100%. She is an amazing person.”
Nico adds, “We definitely have her back. Not only just because we become this little family but because…you look at the logistics and some things just are not right. We definitely have her back regardless of what happens during filming or after filming.”
How is Kelley’s sister Amy Johnson these days? “She is amazing. She is in Fort Lauderdale. She is yachting part time and starting her own business.”
When asked if he thinks he knows more about yachting than Kelley, Nico says, “Absolutely not. I learn from him every single time but we can also work together in an efficient way.” Andy jokes, “I’m voting for you for Senate.”
Poll – If you were Emily, who would you choose Ben or Kelley?
Ben – 62%
Kelley – 38%
TELL US: IS CAPTAIN LEE TOO TOUGH ON THE VALOR CREW? WHO’S THE BETTER CATCH – BEN OR KELLEY?
Photo Credit: Twitter
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24 is back! Again! But different! Fox debuted a brand new trailer for 24: Legacy ahead of the World Series tonight, and it's a pretty exciting ride. It looks like the show...
We had a feeling this news was coming, but we were never going to be ready for it. This Is Us just confirmed our worst fears by revealing that Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) is dead in present...
First of all, let us just say we love Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) and Iris West (Candice Patton). We love them together, we love them individually, and we love them no matter what timeline...Yesterday, Morgan Willett won this week’s Big Brother Over the Top power of veto. It gave her the power to remove one person from the block. As Kryssie Ridolfi‘s secondary target, Morgan knew she didn’t want to stay on the Big Brother Over the Top block.
This week, Kryssie’s main goal was to evict Scott Dennis. Therefore, Morgan coming off the Big Brother Over the Top block didn’t really hurt her long term goals. However, it forced her to name a replacement nominee.
Kryssie debated for a little while about who to nominate etween Shelby Stockton and Whitney Hogg. Kryssie feared putting Whitney on the block could her hurt their working relationship. Due to Whitney’s close bond with Justin, Kryssie hoped to work with Whitney later in the game.
Kryssie, like many of the Late Night Jamboree, doesn’t like Shelby. However, she sees Shelby as someone easy to get out the house later in the game. She might also be thinking about keeping Shelby close to the end, as she suspects that she has a slim chance of winning America’s final vote.
To ensure Neeley Jackson‘s safety, and Scott’s eviction, Kryssie eventually decided it was a safer bet to nominate Whitney to ensure her plan.
Today around 1:00 BBT, Morgan used the power of veto to remove herself from the block. Kryssie named Whitney as a replacement nominee. Tomorrow, either Scott, Neeley, or Whitney will leave the Big Brother Over the Top house.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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To be honest, the words “selfless” and “generous” are not the first words that come to mind when Jax Taylor is mentioned, but it looks like the self-proclaimed “number one guy” on Vanderpump Rules is growing up and giving back. It’s been heavily hinted that Jax and girlfriend Brittany Cartwright are currently filming their own spin-off series and based on social media Jax just did something very generous for Brittany’s family.
If you follow these two on Twitter and/or Instagram, it’s clear that these two are doing a lot these days. Not only that, but it seems like Jax is making a good impression on Brittany’s family.
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Prepare to have your heart melt with this one. Jax really did a truly nice thing for someone else. Jax tweeted this: “So glad we raised so much money! For @BNCartwright brother and sister in law last night! Now let’s make a [baby emoji] #IVF ” along with a photo of an event flyer.
Brittany tweeted, “I have the most amazing boyfriend. @mrjaxtaylor donated 12k to my brother and sister in law to help them start their journey with IVF.” So I take that to mean that in addition to helping out with the fundraiser that Jax donated $12,000 of his own money. That is really a generous thing to do. Maybe we’ve all underestimated Jax throughout these years. Or maybe he just grew up recently. Either way, it really is a wonderful thing.
Jax quoted his girlfriend’s tweet and added, “Happy to do it!! #letsmakeababy” which is super sweet. And their Vanderpump Rules costar Scheana Marie Shay got in on the conversation with a tweet of her own. Scheana said, “Jax, that is the most thoughtful/generous thing you have ever done. This is why I love you.”
I would love to know what boss Lisa Vanderpump thinks of this. I feel like she’s encouraging Jax to do the right thing and give back to others for years so I feel like she would be proud of him.
TELL US- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JAX DONATING TO BRITTANY’S BROTHER & SISTER-IN-LAW SO THEY CAN PAY FOR IVF? WILL YOU WATCH THEIR SPIN-OFF SHOW?
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Jax Taylor Donated $12,000 For Brittany Cartwright’s Brother To Pay For IVF appeared first on Reality Tea.
Cynthia Bailey says we can expect to see her split from Peter Thomas play out on the new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Today during an appearance on The Real, Cynthia talked dating post-Peter, protecting her daughter, and more!
Will we see the demise of her marriage to Peter play out on this season of RHOA? “Yes, you will see it play out. Peter and I have always been very transparent in our relationship and it’s worked for us and against us at the same time. But, just being on the show, I think it’s important for us to keep it real, like you guys do [laughs]. So, yes you will see it play out and um, it’s kind of hard because we got married on the show. We’re the only couple that actually got married on The Real Housewives of Atlanta and to have to go to through, you know, a divorce on the show, it’s not easy, but I think the only thing more tragic than divorce is being in something that’s not working anymore.”
Will there be any new romance on the show with Cynthia? She says not right away, but down the road! “No, not yet. I’m trying to get out of a relationship, not into one right now. Give me a little bit of time. I mean, I am looking forward to eventually meeting someone. I don’t want to be the old lady with like 20 cats. So, hopefully in time I will meet someone.”
RELATED: PETER THOMAS TALKS SPLIT FROM CYNTHIA
Later in the show the ladies talked about celebrity moms clapping back at social media criticism of their parenting. Cynthia chimed in, “I’m not big on the social media clap back, but if you come for my daughter, if you come for Noelle, then I’m coming for you. You can say what you want to say about me, Peter, whatever, but leave Noelle alone now. Here’s the thing: Noelle is a teenager, she’s 16, about to be 17. She’s in that in between stage where she’s not a kid but she’s not grown, so if she takes a photo, people are like ‘I can’t believe you let her have a weave in her hair right now’ or ‘she has on makeup.’ Are you kidding me? It’s my child, if I want to put a weave in my child’s hair that’s our business. It’s really offensive.”
She shares that even her mom will step in and try to give advice but Cynthia says that even though her mom did a great job raising Cynthia and her siblings, this is a totally different generation. “Just let us raise our children. I applaud the moms out there. It’s not easy and we’re not perfect. We’re not all going to always get every single thing right but we all love our children and it’s all coming from a good place.”
TELL US – ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING PETER AND CYNTHIA’S SPLIT PLAY OUT ON SEASON 9?
Photo Credit: The Real/Robert Voets/Warner Bros. Television
The post Will We See Cynthia Bailey Dating Again On Real Housewives of Atlanta? appeared first on Reality Tea.
Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is here. He's in charge on The Walking Dead now and he made his mark by taking out not one, but two fan-favorite characters. Now one of those characters has a few...Do you want a little more Vanderfabulous in your life? Well now you can with Lisa Vanderpump‘s new Vandermoji app!
So next time you have a friend who doesn’t believe your apology is sincere, or a friend who is guilty of kaftan abuse, or an employee who just can’t stop having out of control meltdowns in your restaurant, or a friend whose drunken antics are ruining your reputation, you’ll be prepared with the perfect response!
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The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star shared a sampling of her Vandermojis on Instagram (they include a see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil… triad), and plenty of Lisa faces we know well.
The complete collection of gifs, adios, and emojis can be yours just in time for the new season for $1.99 – which corresponds perfectly to the Vandermoji of Lisa making it rain.
“OK guys, are you ready for this? It’s very funny!! #Vandermojis launch today!! There are emojis, gifs, audio, and video…and they’re all very Vanderpump! It’s available today in the App Store or click the link in my profile.” [Credit]
In addition to the Vandermojis, there’s the option to create customizable memes and send audio messages in Lisa’s voice.
Lisa may be taking a cue from Kim Kardashian – her Kimoji app is one of her biggest income generators, and The Daily Mail reports that Lisa used the same developers as Kim.
NeNe Leakes launched her own Nemoji app, after becoming a part of the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game, which has raked in tens of millions.
Bravo also has their own Bravomoji collection featuring many Housewives and Bravolebrity-isms. Oh, imagine the possibilities!
TELL US – WILL YOU BE BUYING VANDERMOJIS?
[Main Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Lisa Vanderpump Launches ‘Vandermojis’ – Her Own Line Of Emojis appeared first on Reality Tea.
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life is bringing Lorelai, Rory, Emily, Luke, Lane, Kirk and all your Stars Hollow favorites back. Take a moment to digest that. It's been nearly 10 years...There’s no doubt about it: Phaedra Parks is the absolute queen of throwing shade. In all honesty, she should just change her name to Shadera. She has the most hilarious and witty insults on Real Housewives of Atlanta. She makes me laugh every time, but I would never ever want to be on her bad side. That woman can throw down. That is why we should honor her on her birthday by going through some of her best insults and shade throughout the years.
Honestly, there are too many to choose from and yes, for the most part they are all aimed at Kenya Moore. Sorry, girl. Nevertheless, Phaedra makes great TV and is constantly quotable.
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Pretty much everything Phaedra says is GIF-material, so check out these great moments that she has blessed us all with over the years.
She has a point though, doesn’t she? If people are really focused on achieving success, then it shouldn’t matter what others are doing.
“She by Sheree” is a pretty legendary concept. I have no idea if Sheree Whitfield’s clothing line actually exists, but I love hearing those words and any spoof on them. Well said, Phaedra.
These days, Phaedra and Porsha Williams are besties, but before that they were shading each other left and right. This line will never get old to me. Porsha has a lot of things going for her, but a knowledge of history is not one of those things. To put it mildly.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen these ladies abstain from alcohol at social functions, so it made sense that Phaedra corrected her remark with some shade – much more realistic this way.
The show may have “Real Housewives” in the title, but Kenya has never been married and Phaedra has never let her forget that fact.
She really wants to drive this point home.
This list is really starting to look like a compilation of insults against Kenya, but unfortunately for her, those remarks were some of Phaedra’s best material.
Sure, “we’re done” is not a witty insult by any means, but the image of Phaedra sipping on that tea cup was just too delectable not to include.
Phaedra attempted to poke fun at Cynthia Bailey’s modeling career by saying that she models for a plus size magazine – which actually shouldn’t be an insult, but that’s what she was going for with this one.
So I guess Phaedra made some improvements by stopping with the “whore” talk, but referring to Kenya as Satan isn’t really nice either. Baby steps, right?
There isn’t a good justification for referring to someone as a “whore,” but Phaedra attempted to defend her own actions by mentioning the Bible. It didn’t work, but her attempt was pretty comical.
[Photo Credits: Tumblr]
Shadera has blessed us Real Housewives of Atlanta viewers with some gems over the years and it seems like she has a wit that gets sharper with age, so I’m sure that this new year will bring even more shady moments.
TELL US – WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SHADY REMARK FROM PHAEDRA?
The post Celebrate Phaedra Parks’s Birthday With Some Of Her Best Shade appeared first on Reality Tea.
Siggy Flicker‘s so against conflict and drama, yet she’s on Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m confused. Having a heart of gold and wanting to be a peacemaker is all good in real life, but Siggy’s mission to solve all of the issues on this show is going to make it boring to watch.
Siggy had such potential when she first showed up on the scene immediately after a face lift while she drank lobster bisque through a straw, but she is trying to be a group therapist on a show with viewers who live for the fighting. It doesn’t line up for me. And not only that, but what is her story line? Aside from getting involved with other people’s lives, please tell me. Someone? Please.
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Recently, Siggy opened up about how she felt about the show before she joined on Brandi Glanville’s podcast. She also weighed in on the triangle of drama between Jacqueline Laurita, Teresa Giudice, and Melissa Gorga.
Siggy actually did say some interesting stuff during the podcast.
Possibly throwing shade at Teresa Giudice, Siggy said, “I came on to change it, but no I never watched the show before. I watched bits and pieces here and there. I wasn’t really a big fan of it because you live in Jersey and pay these taxes and you love your state. I never liked all that table flipping and all that. That’s not my cup of tea.”
Okay, well not paying taxes was obviously bad, but the table flipping was an iconic moment in reality television that pretty much everyone loved. I guess I’m reading into that by assuming Siggy is shading Teresa, but she is very clearly slamming the show that she’s on.
Siggy added, “I just didn’t like the way Jersey was being portrayed. It pissed me off.” Well, I didn’t like how boring this season has been….
RELATED: Teresa Giudice And Danielle Staub Are Doing Yoga Together
Then, she rambled on about how she’s so opinionated, yet neutral about everything, which really just doesn’t line up. Siggy said, “No one’s gonna make me go on their side. I’m loud, I’m opinionated, but they’re not going to get me to see their side because they’re not going to be able to sway me.”
It would have made for great TV if Siggy actually shared her thoughts about the arguments instead of talking about people getting heated because they care so much and blah blah blah.
Siggy did delve into the Jacqueline, Melissa, and Teresa drama little bit, though she also ended up back tracking on a lot of what she said, which is a shame because I was loving her actually sharing an opinion for once.
Siggy told Brandi, “I came onto the show as Jacqueline‘s friend. I didn’t know Teresa. Teresa was still away at camp. When you’re coming on the show as someone’s friend, I have a big heart, I wanted to protect Jacqueline and try to see her side even though I wasn’t around for stripper gate, I wasn’t around three years ago. It doesn’t matter whether I watched the show twenty thousand times or I never watched the show again, I’m not just going to come on the show and take Jacqueline’s opinion. It’s just not me.”
She revealed, “I said to everybody, ‘I’m not on Team Jacqueline. I’m not on Team Melissa. I’m not on Team Teresa. I’m on Team Siggy.’ This show showed me and Dolores [Catania] and what true friendship is all about. And that’s it.” Yeah, we got one or two good GIFs out of Siggy and Dolores dancing and laughing, but that added no plot lines to the show.
Siggy was super confusing with her flip flopping about Jacqueline’s outbursts this season.
After praising Jacqueline for being such a caring person, Siggy also said, “She’s a wonderful wife, she’s a wonderful mother, and she is a wonderful friend – but then I have to say, her war is not my war. And sometimes I feel like Jacqueline’s delivery is a little bit off base. You can’t go in and start screaming and shouting at people and expect them to just do what you have to do.”
Yeah, but it makes great TV and I was living for it, so whatever. This season would be trash if Jacqueline wasn’t fighting with Melissa and Teresa. That’s all we had other than the typically entertaining Giudice family time.
She emphasized that Jacqueline was disappointed in Melissa because she is jealous of her friendship with Teresa: “I know she’s disappointed in Melissa and I know she never trusted Teresa really wanting to be her friend again after she came home from camp. I understand that. I know that.”
RELATED: Teresa Wants Jacqueline To Leave Her And Her Family Alone
But after what I thought was total shade to Tre at the beginning of the interview about paying taxes and flipping tables, Siggy also said this, “Then, you’ve got Teresa’s thing. Teresa’s like ‘Whether you trust it or not, I’m just too busy trying to feed my girls and trying to take care of business to try and do a dance for you. I ain’t dancing for you Jacqueline.'” Which I think is the most realistic thing she said and that was a lot better than her just blindly asking everyone to love each other when she has zero idea about the clique’s history. I wish Siggy had showed this kind of sass on the show.
Aside from her Brandi interview, Siggy wrote another snooze fest of a blog entry about this week’s episode. Obviously there was some self promoting and talk about her family members that we don’t even know, but she did say this, which I found interesting and not totally true, “This episode of RHONJ for me was all about women empowering each other! Nothing drives me crazier than when women feel like they need to compete with other women.”
Melissa and Jacqueline ignoring each other while Jacqueline wears an obnoxious message t shirt to instigate drama is women lifting each other up? Yes, I know they showed Teresa leading a yoga class and Siggy speaking about dating or whatever at Dolores’s gym, but that was by no means the A plot or even the B plot of this episode.
I know I sound like a horrible person with pretty much everything I’ve said, but the thing is that I don’t hate Siggy. In fact, I’ve seen her on a lot of talk shows and think she seems to be pretty good at giving advice and whatever else she does, but she brings nothing to this show. She doesn’t even come in with the comic relief. She’s just trying to fix the drama (which we need to keep the show going) and preaching about her own career.
TELL US – DO YOU WANT SIGGY BACK ON RHONJ NEXT YEAR?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Siggy Flicker Says She Didn’t Like Real Housewives Of New Jersey Before She Was On It & Weighs In On The Current Drama appeared first on Reality Tea.
It's finally here. The Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life trailer is here. Cue Carole King's "Where You Lead" on repeat. We had the behind-the-scenes video. We got the...Despite appearances, nobody actually “won” on last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County. Everybody lost – even Meghan Edmonds.
Kelly Dodd‘s motto is, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Well, there ya go. Poor Meghan only lost by association. I cannot believe four so-called adult women were behaving so Jerry Springer and then jumping through hoops trying to deny, deflect, and justify their actions. It was nonstop sifting through everyone lying while pointing fingers at other people’s lies. Yep, I’m looking at you Tamra Judge, Shannon Beador, and ESPECIALLY Vicki Gunvalson!
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This week continued on the airport shuttle that I am pretty sure was hurtling straight to hell and not looking back. Jesus ain’t want none y’all – I don’t care what Tamra’s sweet trainer says! Mia was not on that bus, and if Mia wants to see the True Tamra™, she ought to get off the ab roller and take a ride on the RHOC express. Allow me to provide a virtual tour.
Heather Dubrow is not without scathing criticism, either. Frankly, she was a mess with her cackling meanness towards Kelly. To define TRASH: You lay down in the dumpster, honey, you ain’t waking up in pristine Chateau Dubrow.
Heather‘s constant scolding and sanctimonious lecturing has got to go. I don’t care that she possesses the ultimate Housewife must-have, a Chanel flask, that still doesn’t make her the judge and jury. The way she whispered horrible things in Meghan‘s ear after telling Kelly to “sit down and shut up” was deplorable. Should we feel bad for the Dubrow spawn? Oh, that’s a distasteful comment, isn’t it? Kelly may be annoying, but she didn’t deserve this. I don’t care how much Shannon and Tamra cry victim, they get no tissues from me. The three of them conspired to get Kelly drunk so she’d freak out.
Vicki, Vicki, Vicki. As always, where to begin? Firstly, being exposed as a shit-talker was her karma for abandoning Kelly to the she-wolves. Vicki should get it that she was never truly ‘back in the good graces’ of these women (have they graces?). They were just waiting for the slightest provocation to turn on her. And Kelly “Dirty Bombs” Dodd gave it to them. Never trust that girl with a secret!
Obviously, never trust Vicki, either. Tamra said it best when she described how Vicki came to know ‘dirt’ on Shannon – when THE AFFAIR happened, Shannon “leaned” on Vicki as a confidante, but Vicki, resentful at Shannon, is now trying to use that in bad faith. Blackmailing does not a friendship make (no matter how much tequila you consume). Although blackmailing a friendship is kinda the only way to survive on RHOC. Sadly.
Secondly, although Vicki shouldn’t have trashed Shannon and Tamra‘s marriages to Kelly, they certainly have trashed Vicki, as well. They were warning Kelly not to trust Vicki or be her friend. I call this one a draw. Vicki is delusional and self-absorbed, but that’s the Housewives game.
Where Vicki is most guilty is, faking out her ally. Kelly was in the trenches with her, but when it was time to return the favor, Vicki strapped on the enemy uniform and hoped she’d blend in with their troops.
Moving on, and not to get all technicality, but when it comes to what Vicki told Kelly about David – well, she didn’t lie, per se. There are POLICE REPORTS which have been published in tabloids that substantiate it. David was arrested (and pleaded guilty) for a domestic assault. Was he “beating the shit” out of Shannon – that may have been an exaggeration (I hope!). Was Shannon’s freaking out warranted? Absolutely. But for her to call Vicki a bold-faced liar? She’s been to enough reunions to know Vicki and Kelly are bringing those reports!
I do think Vicki talked trash about Kelly to the other women, because well, Vicki talks trash about everyone. Vicki is like the Garabage Pile from Fraggle Rock. She seems like the sweet-natured Housewives oracle, but underneath it’s all rotten apple cores and old diapers.
As for Tamra, Jesus’ home girl deliberately lied and twisted Kelly‘s words as a reason to turn on Vicki. When Vicki was backstabbing Kelly, Tamra believed every word as truth; when the tables were turned, Vicki is a liar. Also how many people is Tamra gonna get physical with? She’s thrown wine at Jeana, yanked a chair from under Alexis, pushed/hit Kelly, and now grabbed Vicki’s face and screamed “F–K YOU!”
Tamra says alcohol turns her into the devil. This is the excuse by way of apology that she provides Kelly for why she did all those things. Yet Tamra gets mad at Vicki for excusing everyone’s behavior by blaming alcohol.
During bus-splosion, Meghan notices, from her birds-eye view, that Heather has been manipulating everyone, and poking at Kelly by saying super hurtful and hateful things, yet acting impervious. At the airport, Heather directs Shannon and Tamra to pretend Kelly doesn’t exist. Her two little sycophants fall right in line.
I’m surprised America accepted the RHOC back into the country, but alas… Kelly tells Michael all about what happened with Heather, “the puppet.” Michael is more concerned about guacamole, but Kelly believes he’s being supportive.
Rightfully, she is livid that Vicki abandoned her, but Michael encourages Kelly to rebuild alliances with Vicki because she’s the least guilty. (Or not.)
Back home, Vicki talks in circles to Briana about what happened all while wearing a “Peace Love” shirt. Vicki has no idea why the women are so mad, and is shocked everything fell apart after such a good trip. OK, here lies Vicki’s issues – VICKI had a good trip because she got along with the women (until the end) and Whooped It Up! all over Ireland.
That nobody else had a good trip is irrelevant. Vicki will just gloss over the bad stuff, sweep it right under the shag carpet of her mind, and focus on the Vicki moments. Briana tries to gently explain how Vicki’s perception and Vicki’s feelings are not the only ones that matter. Vicki justifying her salacious comments about Eddie that she Kelly’d out of anger by lashing out is no excuse. Vicki just doesn’t get it. Briana knows Vicki never will. People need an insurance policy to protect them from Vicki’s harm. She’s a liability.
Meanwhile, Tamra is done with Vicki and all about EXERCISE. Tamra’s fitness competition is finally here and everyone is acting as if this is the second coming. I don’t want to take away from Tamra’s accomplishments, and yes, she’s been working hard, but really, it’s working out. That doesn’t compare, to say, building a 22,000 square-foot mansion from scratch and agonizing over pizza ovens.
Yes, Tamra, you accomplished fitness. Congrats. I’m being sarcastic because the women were seriously behaving as if this milestone were akin to climbing Everest, or finding Jesus. Oh wait… Tamra already accomplished the latter. HAHAHAHAHA. If Heather and Shannon try to sell me on this ‘Truly Transformed Tamra’ narrative one more time, I’m gonna go Incredible SheHulk on my TV.
Back to the drama – Tamra meets with Shannon, who declares she is never, ever, ever getting back together with Vicki after her latest bout of lie-fluenza. In fact, if Shannon sees Kelly or Vicki, she’s not even looking at them.
Shannon does realize this is the reason Kelly will be back next season, right? And Vicki is an eternal. This ‘me or them game’ ain’t working. Shannon is mad that Vicki and Kelly are calling her bluff on this happy marriage mess. Also, Shannon needs to stop shopping at the Kyle By Kaftans Forever Superstore, where all your mumu dreams go to die come to life.
Meanwhile, Kelly reaches out to Meghan, who is like, ‘Oh girl – I love you, but you let them win when you called Shannon Billy Goat Gruff! Even though they were horrible to you.’
I cannot believe this, but Meghan has grown on me. She’s boring TV, but she’s a strangely sane voice of reason and she’s not fake. Meghan tells Kelly she’s in the wrong for always going to the lowest point when pressed, because she lets these women get under her skin too easily. She also calls out the other women for ruthlessly ganging up on Kelly and Vicki for being complicit.
Here’s what’s interesting about Meghan – once she got a ‘taste of Heather‘ in the aftermath of Glammis, she now sees right through her. Meghan suddenly gets how Heather deals: Heather likes a plan, and her plan is to select a target and systematically but subtly maneuver to center the negativity around said target. She did it with Alexis, Gretchen (deserved), Shannon, Vicki last season (I now believe Heather is the person who started Meghan questioning Brooks cancer – again deserved), and this season Kelly (and even Meghan to a degree). Everyone who emerges from the receiving end of Heather’s wrath immediately cow-tows and joins ranks. Tamra is Heather’s ally because Tamra will always be the muscle.
I like Heather – I think she’s good TV and a much-needed dose of upscale (I can’t call it class!), but the jig is up. The spotlight has been shown on her machinations. And Meghan is like, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice…in realizing that Heather is all facade that doesn’t withstand the elements.
Meghan also tells Kelly she’s seen some positive changes – she’s been broken down by these girls and now she’s rebuilding. I mean, maybe. Maybe Meghan was high on taco Tuesday seasoning?
Mia brings Tamra some bikinis, and insists she forgive Vicki again. And again. And again. Maybe Mia realizes that when it comes to the lesser of two evils, there is none?
Later, when Vicki calls to offer an ‘I’m sorry our trip ended so badly’ non-pology, Tamra pretends to take Mia’s advice. That phone call! Vicki is too ridiculous. She doesn’t even try to have an earnest discussion with Tamra, who happens to be prancing around the backyard in lucite heels from the Danielle Staub Collection for Bravo. Vicki is just like, ‘So that was a great trip. Glad we did it. So, are we still on for the fitness thing? Do you think Shannon will care if I bring Frito-Pie to the after party? I’m still invited, right?’
Was Vicki blackout drunk in Ireland?
Continuing on her campaign to rebuild, Kelly reaches out to Vicki. Did anyone else spend ¾ of that scene thinking Kelly wasn’t wearing a shirt and she just didn’t realize her denim thing was unzipped? Vicki offers no viable explanation for why she didn’t defend Kelly, then makes the conversation all about herself.
Apparently, Vicki was trying to stay on no one’s side because she wanted to have her Irish publican and drink her Bailey’s too. Friendships are not like the fence around the cow pasture – you can’t straddle ’em. If Tamra, Heather, and Shannon were truly Vicki’s friends, they’d get why she had to defend Kelly during their argument, even if they weren’t happy about it. Except deep down Vicki knows they’re not her friends and never will be, which is why she’s afraid to make waves.
Vicki did apologize to Kelly, but it was an ‘I’m sorry you feel I didn’t defend you’ apology. NO, Kelly doesn’t just FEEL that way – YOU DIDN’T defend her! In confessional, Vicki admits that if she could, she’d do it differently. Kelly decides to accept, then moves on to Tamra.
Over dinner, Tamra makes as many excuses as Vicki, ‘The alcohol made me shove you… waahhh… I’m a Christian, I’m up here forgiving you for being down there.’ I mean, what the hell? Kelly groveling to Tamra is just as bad. What’s the use? Tamra even has the audacity to lecture Kelly about apologizing to Shannon and Heather. Thankfully, Kelly is like, naahhh, not that desperate. Even she reminds Tamra that she did NOTHING to Heather. Like, ever. Except sully Heather’s pristine universe, I guess.
I don’t understand why Kelly will forgive Tamra. Is it cause Tamra “gets her,” while the other women do not? Probably, because Tamra and Kelly are essentially the same person!
Tamra allows Kelly to come to her fitness competition if she promises not to start drama. Then Tamra calls Shannon to tell her how she threw their friendship under the bus (again!) by admitting Kelly and Vicki, two women Shannon professes to never speak to again, back into her life after vowing that she was done. Tamra blames Mia for this. And Jesus.
On the day of the competition, Tamra gets her butt crack spray tanned in an alley behind a building. I have no greater analogy for the life of Tamra Judge than this. Then she prances around stage in a variety of bikinis while holding a foam surfboard.
Heather makes a grand entrance full of air-kisses and phony hellos – yes, even to Kelly the piece of trash, that if Heather stepped in it, would throw the shoes away rather than clean it off. Shannon refuses to even turn around and acknowledge Kelly or Vicki. They do the right thing in snickering at her.
Tamra wins, of course, then all the ladies rush the stage in a race to congratulate her. When Kelly and Vicki approach Tamra, Shannon stomps off the stage and refuses to take a group photo.
Sigh – herein lies the problem with Shannon. She claims she’s not going to start drama for Tamra, however, throwing passive aggressive tantrums is just that. Her projection is visceral. I don’t understand her animosity towards Vicki. I agree with not wanting to be friends – Oh, I get that! – but, again, the depths of it seem too deep. As for Shannon’s hatred of Kelly – Shannon set Kelly up TWICE now. Yet, it’s perpetually all Kelly’s fault?
Shannon, the woman in the mirror is you. If you’re so happy why do you look so miserable, pinched, and sallow? You went in Cinderella, and came out The Wicked Step-Sister.
TELL US – DOES KELLY OWE HEATHER AND SHANNON AN APOLOGY? WHO IS MORE TO BLAME FOR THE PROBLEMS: VICKI OR KELLY? IS HEATHER A PUPPET-MASTER?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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