On a day filled with sadness-tinged Brad Pitt references, we could not have predicted that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be the show most likely to have us channeling his Se7en character and...
Chances are if you're reading this right now it means you just finished watching the highly anticipated series premiere of This Is Us and, to be honest, we're not sure how you can actually...
Bless the team of Ryan Murphy and co. Just bless them and their faces and their weird and wacky notions for TV shows. Scream Queens may not make a lot of sense, but any show that gives...Don’t leave your goods sitting around at the Emmys – Celebitchy
Celebrity dogs are just as cute as ours – Dogtime
DWTS elimination spoiler – Celeb Dirty Laundry
For those of you who are living for Jennifer Aniston memes today – Starcasm
Brad may fight Angelina for custody of the kids – Dlisted
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Season 23 of Dancing with the Stars has its first casualty. Say goodbye to Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson! Jake and Jenna were eliminated tonight after finding themselves in...The Big Brother 18 finale is starting to look more and more like a Paul Abrahamian and Nicole Franzel showdown. Both have claimed they would take the other to the finale but no one knows for sure. Paul seems all in for a Nicole and him battle. Nicole seems more hesitant.
However, Nicole and Paul have grown even closer as the Big Brother 2016 finale approaches. Therefore, it might be a safe bet to theorize a Paul and Nicole final two. With lack of jury round table footage, it’s hard to see where the jury is leaning at this moment.
So a Paul versus Nicole scenario adds for the most excitement, due to its unpredictability. Paul has made less outward enemies in the jury house. However, once the jurors start talking, they may discover Paul’s dishonesty.
He told Da’Vonne Rogers that he had no clue about her eviction, but clearly knew. This might hurt him once other players spill the beans. However, Da’Vonne probably moved pass that, and likely to blame Paulie Calafiore more for it.
Players might also argue that for the first half of the game, Paul was just another puppet for Paulie. This could hurt him, since Nicole basically played her own game all season. On the other hand, Nicole was able to lay low for most of the game due to bigger targets.
Paul had a target on his back all season. He darted and dashed his way to the end. People have to admire him for fighting his way to the end. Natalie Negrotti and Michelle Meyer provide the most interesting votes.
Both felt wronged by Nicole and Paul. So it comes down to who they felt most betrayed by in the Big Brother game. Paulie and Zakiyah Everette also have interesting votes because both were close at one point with Paul and Nicole.
It comes down to who they believed played the best game, and who they feel more loyal to in the end. It’s hard to call but we believe the votes will fall this way:
Da’Vonne voting for Nicole to win
Bridgette Dunning voting for Paul to win
Zakiyah voting for Nicole to win
Paulie voting for Nicole to win
Michelle voting for Paul to win
Natalie voting for Paul to win
Victor Arroyo voting for Paul to win
Corey Brooks voting for Nicole to win
James Huling voting for Nicole to win
Nicole barely wins by a 5-4 vote.
Da’Vonne’s vote is the hardest to predict in this scenario. However, we think she might vote for Nicole just to give it to a woman, and someone who comes from a little more financially humble background than Paul. Plus Paul was the Head of Household during her eviction.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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When Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns for season four in its new, later timeslot, with a six months jump ahead of the events of last season, don't be surprised if you find yourself thinking...Last week, we discussed James Huling‘s chances of beating Paul Abrahamian in a Big Brother 2016 final 2 scenario. We made our guess based on James’ relationship with the Big Brother 2016 jury. Now we’ll look at Nicole Franzel‘s chances of beating James in the Big Brother 18 finale.
Nicole made quite a few enemies in the Big Brother jury. They saw her as a snake who betrayed a lot of people. She only remained loyal to her showmance partner Corey Brooks.
This could hurt Nicole’s chances of winning Big Brother. However, each jury segment shows Da’Vonne Rogers, who has a lot of influence in the jury house, advocating a Nicole win.
She may resent Nicole a little, but she’s reasonable enough to respect Nicole for playing the game, even if she doesn’t like her game. Nicole had a close personal relationship with Corey, Zakiyah Everette, and Paulie Calafiore. So they’re more likely to support and campaign for her winning the game over James, especially considering how James betrayed each of them.
The biggest obstacles to Nicole’s win against James comes in the form of Natalie Negrotti, Michelle Meyer, and Bridgette Dunning. We expect these three to vote the same. Bridgette didn’t respect James’ game for most of Big Brother 18, but her friendship with Natalie should win out in the end.
Victor Arroyo would be the hardest to read. He felt betrayed by both Nicole and James. He had a closer relationship with Nicole, so it’s hard to tell if he would take that into consideration, or would that make him vote against her because he felt most betrayed by her.
As of now, we anticipate the votes to go-somewhat-like this in a James versus Nicole showdown:
Da’Vonne voting for Nicole to win
Bridgette voting for James to win
Zakiyah voting for Nicole to win
Paulie voting for Nicole to win
Michelle voting for James to win
Natalie voting for James to win
Victor voting for James to win
Corey voting for Nicole to win
Paul voting for Nicole to win
Nicole wins by a 5-4 vote. However, Da’Vonne is also a wild card, she might vote for James because of their history and early alliance. If Da’Vonne votes for James, than he’ll win by 5-4.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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As much as I love her, I never know if Sonja Morgan’s projects are ever going to come to fruition. But now my favorite (aspiring) Real Housewives entrepreneur is going to be in actress in a play. I’m all about this and in all honesty I want to get tickets.
The Real Housewives of New York star will make her debut on the stage in an off-Broadway play called Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. Solely based on the title, this just sounds like the perfect play for my girl Sonja. I have a feeling that this plays perfectly into her persona and that she’s going to kill it- and if she doesn’t kill it, she’s sure to entertain no matter how well she acts.
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Sonja will be a part of the play for a limited engagement at the 777 Theatre in New York from October 1 through October 22.
So what does the budding actress have to say about her stage debut? Sonja released a statement saying, “I am really excited to put my acting skills to the test. I’ve always said the only thing better than making people laugh is making them feel sexy. With this play, I get to do both. I have no doubt my New York stage debut promises to be a climactic affair.” Her play on words really got me with that one. Sonja is the most ridiculous person on the planet and I one hundred percent support this endeavor.
I am all about this and I hope that at least part of it gets filmed for Real Housewives of New York or at the very least that clips make their way onto Instagram or Snapchat.
TELL US- WOULD YOU GO TO SEE SONJA MORGAN IN HER STAGE DEBUT? DO YOU THINK THE OTHER HOUSEWIVES WILL GO TO SUPPORT HER?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Sonja Morgan Is Set To Star In An Off-Broadway Play appeared first on Reality Tea.
Porsha Williams is done relying on men to buy her things! She’s officially a homeowner in her own right after buying her first solo home since divorcing Kordell Stewart.
Post-divorce, the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star has been living in a massive suburban mcmansion out in the sticks, so she’d have closets for her dogs. Porsha must have realized the underground railroad doesn’t make stops out there and decide it was time to trade-up!
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“Buying my 1st home after my divorce it’s been a long road!! I’m so thankful for where I am in life!! “No regrets Lessons Learned!! Thank you Lord!” Porsha announced on instagram.
“‘Best revenge is your paper ‘- Queen B,” Porsha added. To subtly prove her featured a video of her waving to the camera while cackling “Hey Kordell!” (She’s since deleted the video).
Porsha opted to walk away from her marriage to Kordell with pretty much nothing. Instead she landed a job hosting on Dish Nation, in addition to starting Naked hair and Naked lingerie. Plus there were rumors that she she had a few affluent men under her belt!
Despite having a foreclosure on her record, Porsha’s finances must be in check again. I predict we’ll be seeing her home ownership on Real Housewives Of Atlanta season 9, which is filming now.
“I closed on my first home today after my divorce and I have to say I thank God and I love where I am in my life! “No regrets lessons learned”!! #BestRevengeIsYourPaper,” gushed Porsha. “Won’t he do it. God bless the child that got his own” she also shared on Instagram.
Let’s hope Porsha tones down the desperate attention-seeking hoochie behavior now that she’s a bit more settled.
TELL US – ARE YOU GLAD TO SEE PORSHA REBUILD HER LIFE POST-DIVORCE?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
The post Porsha Williams Buys Her First Home Since Her Divorce From Kordell Stewart! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Michael Weatherly may have said goodbye to NCIS, but he certainly hasn't said goodbye to TV. So long DiNozzo, say hello to Dr. Bull. Weatherly headlines the new series Bull, which is inspired...Nicole has had a season of ups and downs, but I believe she is the favorite at this point. Nicole is likely guaranteed final two because Paul is likely to take her and if she wins, she gets to choose who is in the chair next to her.
Nicole really only started to play the moment James cancelled Corey’s vote, but her endgame has been really impressive. She told the lie that convinced Natalie to put up Paul and Victor, which guaranteed her and Corey safety.
James evicted Victor, who returned to the house squarely against Jatalie. But Nicole convinces James to throw her HOH in exchange for his safety. Nicole evicted Michelle, Victor won HOH and a new final four formed by Paul, Victor, Corey and Nicole.
Corey won HOH and they decided to make a power move as a couple to take out Victor, which worked. Paul won HOH, he decided to take out Corey over Nicole because he believed Nicole to be weaker and that just helped Nicole even more.
Nicole had questioned taking Corey to the final two, and she likely needs him as a jury vote if she wants to win. But Nicole’s resume of winning the late game power of veto, which sealed Victor and Michelle’s fate is impressive to the jury.
I think she can get Corey, Paulie, Zakiyah, Natalie, James and Da’vonne over Paul and against James, I think she can win with votes from Corey, Paulie, Zakiyah, Victor and Paul.
It’s a close vote either way, but if she backs up her game, then she has a good shot at winning. So that’s why she’s on top in our final Power Rankings for season 18, over Paul in second, and James in third.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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We appreciate if you are going to be signing up to watch Big Brother 19 and/or the Live Feeds on CBS All Access that you might be kind enough to do so through one of our links or banners on our site. It doesn’t cost you a penny more, but the small referral credits help to keep this site alive all year long bringing you the latest news from the Big Brother world!
When Melissa Gorga was on WWHL earlier this week, she touched a bit on the issues with Kathy Wakile and her family and now Melissa’s taking to her Bravo blog to expand a bit on the situation.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star starts off, “I thought last night’s episode was very real and very telling. I tried to address a lot of your questions on Watch What Happens Live but wanted to make a few things clear.”
Melissa says that nobody on this show is totally innocent. “As you have seen throughout the past five seasons, there have been A LOT of ups and downs between all of our families and our friendships. No one’s hands are 100% clean, including my own, but what I have learned is that actions speak louder than words when it comes to finding peace.”
She says that Kathy and Richie were distancing themselves for a long time and then suddenly wanted to be close again. “Our issue with Kathy and Richie is that they are the ones that pulled away from Joe and I, waaay before Teresa went away, and I’m still not even sure why. Now, they all of sudden are ready to come back around and are annoyed that we aren’t dropping everything to make time for them. Even though we hadn’t heard from them in a long time, we still supported them, checked in to make sure Victoria was okay and came to see their new beautiful home.”
Melissa says that during their visit to Kathy and Rich’s house, she didn’t want to be dragged into the rude comments about Teresa. “The second we walked into their house, we got thrown into a heated conversation about Teresa. I was pretty clear that I didn’t want to be put in the middle, and I’m glad Joe called Richie out on his unnecessary dig. Teresa, Joe and I agreed that we would put the past in the past, that there would be no more secrets, and that we would shut down any negative conversations about each other when that person was not there to defend themselves. And that is exactly what we did!”
She says Joe desperately wants peace for his family, “but he’s right… we all need to be genuine to move forward, and if you’re not ready to do that, then be honest and tell them. When people said we weren’t supporting Kathy and Rosie, I think that’s unfair. If it wasn’t for Joe, Teresa would have never even sat down with her cousins.”
Melissa says that she can see both sides in the Teresa/Kathy-Rosie tension. “She [Teresa] said she doesn’t feel that Kathy and Rosie wanting to reconcile is genuine, and I can see both sides. I do believe they want to be back in the family and want to be with us, but I get that Teresa feels it’s not real since they didn’t reach out while she was away. I was not on the visitor list or approved email list, but I still wrote to Teresa to tell her how I felt and send pictures of her girls. I made the effort to let her know that I wanted her to be in my life and that I wanted us to be good.”
Melissa feels like Jacqueline Laurita was trying too hard to pick fights and ramp up the drama. “What annoyed me most about that night at Kathy’s was the fact that Jacqueline was so much more invested than even Kathy or Rosie. From the minute I came through the door she was trying to fight with me. It’s a pattern that has been happening all season. For someone who keeps claiming that she is SO tired of our family’s “drama,” she seems to be constantly focused on it and is more of an antagonist rather than a peacemaker.”
She calls next week’s episode crazy and hopes watching it will help her figure out HOW things got that way. “Next week we finally get to see the infamous Vermont trip. It was a whole other level of crazy. I’m actually looking forward to seeing it, because I still don’t really understand how things got so out of control.”
TELL US – ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE UPCOMING EPISODE? DO YOU THINK KATHY AND ROSIE ARE GENUINE IN WANTING TO RECONCILE WITH TERESA?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
The post Melissa Gorga Slams Jacqueline Laurita; Explains The Issues With Kathy And Rosie appeared first on Reality Tea.
They solved it. They think. Maybe. Just ahead of the 20th anniversary of the case that captivated a nation's attention, CBS' highly anticipated series The Case Of: JonBenét...
A new week means a new gallery of the reality TV stars showing off, throwing shade, or sharing snapshots on Twitter and Instagram. Then there’s Bethenny Frankel, in a category all of her own, Skinnygirl! Everything! Forever!, showing off her bikini body while promoting her watermelon line.
The Real Housewives of New York star credits Adam for the pic and shares, “I mean can we discuss this look? Get your @skinnygirl watermelon lime on with me tonight in Philly!”
Look below for more selfies and snapshots, including Real Housewives of Atlanta star Cynthia Bailey getting philosophical, Farrah Abraham bragging about how great of a mom she is, the cast of Southern Charm hanging out (and most likely filming season four), Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kim Richards taking a selfie with a turtle, and much more.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE PHOTO GALLERY!
Main Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Reality TV Stars Snapshots – Bethenny Frankel, Farrah Abraham, Cynthia Bailey, Kim Richards, Kathryn Dennis, And More appeared first on Reality Tea.
"My back hurt, or my ribs, but whatever!" Talk about dancing through the pain! Though singer and actress Jana Kramer "torn muscles" in between her ribs during a rehearsal...This Is Us really is the perfect name for the new NBC drama. Just ask its stars. "That's the thing, it's inclusive. That's what I liked about the script and about the show...
Paul Abrahamian on paper has the best resume in the game based on being an underdog early on and now surviving to the final three.
Paul was on the block week one and survived by winning the power of veto. He lost Jozea, Victor his close buddies in back-to-back weeks. He stayed loyal to Paulie who used the POV on him, despite not wanting Da’vonne to go he surrendered to Paulie.
I think the is the only big error in his game is that he did Paulie’s dirty work for him. But he was part of the house flip that evicted Zakiyah and the next week, later was made by his closest ally Victor.
Paul convinced Victor to nominate Corey and Paulie together, which ended Paulie’s reign of power in the house for good. In week nine, under Natalie and Michelle’s HOH, the girls decided they wanted Paul out. Paul won the weather alert power of veto after staying up all night to study.
He formed an alliance with Corey, Nicole, Victor and they took out Michelle the next week. Paul then lost Victor after Corey won HOH and Nicole won POV, but he kept his head in the game. He won the final four HOH, POV and decided to get Corey out of the house.
He’s had a bumpy ride, but I do feel he is the most deserving. I think what could hurt Paul is him calling Michelle the “C” word because the jurors might not respect that.
I think Paul should take James because he would likely have Victor, Corey, Nicole, Paulie and Zakiyah to win. I think if he takes Nicole that she will edge him out in jury votes potentially 6-3 with him only receiving Victor, Michelle and Bridgette.
So, with that, we are putting Paul Abrahamian in second place in our final Big Brother Power Rankings, with Nicole in first place, and James in third place.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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We appreciate if you are going to be signing up to watch Big Brother 19 and/or the Live Feeds on CBS All Access that you might be kind enough to do so through one of our links or banners on our site. It doesn’t cost you a penny more, but the small referral credits help to keep this site alive all year long bringing you the latest news from the Big Brother world!
Goodbye sorority, hello hospital. It's a whole new Scream Queens tonight when the Fox horror comedy returns for season two, and we got all the details from the set....While we were home Sunday night filing our nails and taking out the garbage like regular people, Lisa Vanderpump and daughter Pandora Vanderpump Sabo were rubbing elbows with Hollywood elite at the Emmy Awards. You know, just another day in the life of Bravo royalty!
On the red carpet, Lisa took the time to dish on her two Bravo shows poised to premiere in the next few weeks: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules. Of VPR, Lisa shares that it will be a “tumultuous ride” as the cast marches its way toward the wedding between Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz. But, Lisa admits, the cast still love each other despite their endless bad choices and backstabbing ways!
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Lisa says that Tom and Katie’s wedding was beautiful (which we’ll see this season), but the honeymoon was a bit sketchy. Apparently, Stassi Schroeder third-wheeled to paradise with them! HUH!? This is the girl who just last season could barely score an invite to Katie’s bridal shower. But now she’s crashing Katie’s honeymoon? Oh, Vanderpump Rules, your special brand of dysfunction is some serious circle of life sh*t! <cue Lion King music>
“I wouldn’t invite Stassi on my honeymoon, that’s for sure,” laughs Lisa. Preview clips show a raggedy Stassi floating around on an inner tube, sucking down booze straight from the bottle as Tom and Katie film her from their honeymoon suite.
As for the RHOBH, Lisa is thrilled to be filming with new castmate – and real life friend! – Dorit Kemsley, who she no doubt needs for backup after last year’s exhausting battle against, well, everyone. She shared with ET that she’s very happy with the addition of Dorit to the group. “She is a friend of mine, so I like her. Normally, they beat me up!”
RELATED: Kyle Richards And Lisa Rinna Weigh In On New Girl Eden Sassoon
Speaking of castmates beating her up, Lisa answers whether Brandi Glanville will haunt our screens again on the upcoming season of RHOBH. “No! Absolutely not,” she asserts. “No, I don’t think Brandi’s gonna be back…at least not on our show.”
Asked if Brandi is on Lisa’s blacklist, Lisa dismisses her entirely: “She’s not on my list, period. How about that?”
Yikes! Get ready for Brandi’s low rent podcast rebuttal to that expert shade in 24-48 hours or so! #SheNeedsAHobby #StayOffOurScreens
Lisa, who negotiated with Bravo about highlighting her charity work on RHOBH, hopes for a more positive season ahead. And with the exit of Yolanda Foster Hadid, things certainly should be looking up.
As long as Eileen Davidson doesn’t whine about getting a 100th apology from Lisa again, RHOBH might be sailing into calmer waters! Let’s certainly hope so, because the “Take Vanderpump Down!” theme is simply stale, childish, and just plain embarrassing for the rest of the cast at this point.
It’s time to flip that script!
TELL US: ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEW SEASONS OF VPR AND RHOBH? DO YOU THINK DORIT WILL BE A GOOD ADDITION?
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Lisa Vanderpump At The Emmy Awards; Dishes On The Return Of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills And Vanderpump Rules appeared first on Reality Tea.
Law & Order: SVU is back and so is Tuckson. Get used to it! In the exclusive sneak peek from SVU's season 18 premiere, Benson (Mariska Hargitay) and Tucker (Robert John Burke) share a rare...I think James is the one playing the worst game this summer, but here he is. He was protected early on by Paulie’s reign of power and even did the house’s dirty work taking out Frank, who was not coming for him. He later turned on Da’Vonne who was one of his most loyal allies by exposing her to Paulie and ratting out her plan to target the showmances.
The following week James decided to strike at Paulie by cancelling Corey’s vote and sending his showmance partner Zakiyah home. It’s a big move, but the problem is that James was cornered into this move by Paulie’s personal attacks on Natalie and Bridgette, Natalie, Michelle forcing him to do it. During Natalie’s HOH week, he decided that sending home Victor was the best move, but then Victor re-entered the house with a buyback.
James then made the biggest error in the game and decided to throw HOH to Nicole. This cost James a loyal ally in Michelle when he could have taken out Paul or Victor that week. This all leads to losing Natalie the next week and James in a situation of hoping the two duo’s turn on each other. To his luck, he has managed safety for two evictions after that, but now he might be in a situation where he needs to win part 3 to guarantee himself to the final two.
I think James being a father gives him a chance at winning the money, but I think Paul and Nicole are more respected players. James should have a potential three jury votes of Natalie, Michelle and Bridgette. Backstabbing Da’vonne could be his downfall, but if he can get her vote, then he only needs to turn one more. I would be shocked if James picked up Corey, Paulie and Zakiyah’s votes against Paul and especially Nicole.
I am not sure he can, so I think James will very likely be the runner-up to Nicole or the third placer. We rank him in third place behind Paul and Nicole in our final Big Brother 18 Power Rankings.
Keep up with the latest Big Brother spoilers, competition results, Live Feeds highlights, recaps and more on our Facebook and Twitter!
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We appreciate if you are going to be signing up to watch Big Brother 19 and/or the Live Feeds on CBS All Access that you might be kind enough to do so through one of our links or banners on our site. It doesn’t cost you a penny more, but the small referral credits help to keep this site alive all year long bringing you the latest news from the Big Brother world!
Yikes was last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County a mess! We all know Bravo loves a family drama, but David’s mother-in-law covertly, sniper from the side-style, attacking Shannon Beador while roaming the crowd at a place called The Blue Beet during her granddaughters’ rock star debut… Well, even I’m shocked!
There was a lot of ridiculous this episode. Vicki Gunvalson being utterly baffled that her children consider her a high-maintenance nightmare? Ridiculous! Tamra Judge truly believing herself a ‘peacemaker’. RIDICULOUS! Shannon micro-mom-aging her preteen daughters rock rehearsal, then taking OVER the microphone during practice to demonstrate for them. Ridiculous!
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Even more ridiculous – Shannon inviting her middle-aged friends to her daughters’ musical debut, and making their big night ALL. ABOUT. THE. AFFAIR. How mortifying! Does no one on these shows think of the children? Clearly not, because Vicki turned Briana’s birthday lunch into a monologue about how she likes sex until Michael looked down at his plate and couldn’t differentiate the refried beans from his own vomit. And she was over an hour late. Vicki is also still intermittently in a neck brace.
Mother-in-law dramas are as old as the institution of marriage itself. In some cave in France, I’m sure we’ll find cryptic drawings of a cave woman clubbing her MIL while her cave husband’s back was turned. I know this must be true because I’ve seen it on the Flintstones.
But the irony here is the amazing parallels of Bravo editing – Shannon’s MIL being depicted as overbearing, disrespectful, micromanaging, and petty, cross-cut with footage of Shannon nit-picking her daughters’ rehearsal like some wannabe Kris Jenner in bad shoes and a bad 80’s flashback. Yes, Shannon, we know that 300 years ago you were with the band, but please don’t try to relive your failed dreams through your daughters by leaping up on stage, or forcing them to take lessons from someone named Sterling, who is result of that time a secret government lab mixed the DNA from 70’s Elvis with Slash from Guns & Roses. I am STILL cringing at Shannon leaping up in her sequined sandals – which GOD why didn’t Heather Dubrow get to those in time to throw them out in the closet clean-out – to wrench the mic from her daughter’s hand and wail “DREAM CATCHER”.
In her mind, Shannon imagined this song an ode to her marriage, I’m sure.
Shannon’s daughters, hopefully recognizing that they cannot carry a tune in a Louis Vuitton Speedy, seem to be doing this band thing for fun, but Shannon is taking it so seriously. I believe her when she says, ominously through narrowed eyes, that her daughters don’t know she’s their manager – YET. UGH.
Across town, Vicki is sorting mail in a neck brace while replaying Shannon’s ‘Get Well Soon’ voicemail over and over. We all know Vicki LOVES an affirmation and a sappy sentiment (however hollow, forced, and phony), but even she isn’t willing to up and accept Shannon’s attempt. “You’re not gettin’ a call back,” she mumbles, but she doesn’t delete the message.
Briana suggests that maybe Vicki should at least acknowledge Shannon’s call by texting back. Tamra and Heather are annoyed that Vicki didn’t respond. But why should she? I mean, Shannon has made it known over and over again that she doesn’t want a relationship with Vicki. She even admitted she only called because she felt she had to, so why should Vicki keep begging? I support this action. One of Vicki’s major relationship problems is that she can’t call a spade a spade! She will relentlessly badger and pursue unwilling relationships seemingly blind to the other person’s reaction. If Vicki would have let Brooks go the first time he dumped her, she would have spared herself a lot of fake cancer grief.
Vicki confesses that she’s desperate to date again and explains that people get married “because they don’t want to be alone.” She reveals her greatest fear when weighing the pros and cons of Tinder. “I don’t wanna be swiped!” she whines to Michael over Briana’s birthday lunch, at a Mexican restaurant, which becomes all about Vicki and her never-ending need for validation and love, the depth of which is like the bottomless bowl of chips and salsa, which can never be refilled enough times. No, Vicki doesn’t want to be swiped away, forgotten and ignored, she wants to be sexed! Vicki is surprised her children don’t want to hear about this as they all make gag faces. Briana smirkily acknowledges that her mother likes attention – even if the attention makes her the butt of every joke. Even if she’s cheers-ing to family that left her in the hospital and friends whose chose champs over her health.
Speaking of, Meghan Edmonds is STILL being blamed for anything and everything that happened in Glamis. It wasn’t Jesus who took the wheel of that ATV, it was apparently Meghan and she made it roll over the dunes just so she could intentionally call Tamra “reckless” all over town then rejoice in abandoning Vicki in the hospital. Tamra confesses to Mia, her abs and faith trainer, how she told Meghan to go to hell, but in Tamra’s mind that’s a step in the right direction because she wanted to say so much worse.
Again, TAMRA didn’t visit Vicki in the hospital, even though her ass was IN PALM SPRINGS at another hospital. Instead, she went back to Glamis to party with Heather and Kelly Dodd.
Shannon is moving in 3 minutes and hosting a packing party, and Tamra is upset because she’ll be forced to see Meghan, and give her the benefit of the doubt. Which is Tamra code for vindictively confront Meghan and then lecture us about Jesus.
Since Tamra is being forced to handle her nemesis, she forces Shannon to invite Kelly to the packing party, all cause of the near death experience in Glamis.
Shannon has to move in a week, but it looks like she has not a single thing packed. Instead she’s warbling about adrenaline, and claiming she’s planning to pack the entire house herself! YEAH RIGHT.
Having Housewives come over to pack your house is sort of like inviting a swarm of bees over – like they’re just gonna make shit worse!
They will not help you breathe through the panic of realizing you own 68 extra coffee cups which were shoved into the deep recesses of your second kitchen. Or an entire closet full of various grandma lampshades, some dating back to 1994 when you actually loved your husband spontaneously, not because you had an obligatory family-oriented love over the life you’d built together. Which is why you collected lampshades, one for each time you turned the other cheek, or sucked in your breath and took another sip of vodka instead of a trip down memory lane to the happy days before 6 am school days or poopy diapers. Another lampshade for the time you found the text message from a certain woman named Nicole. Actually make that 10 lampshades, but nothing dimmed that slap in the face. All those lampshades did was shine a light on how much time you’ve spent collecting lampshades to shade your denial. And now all 300 of them must be packed and moved.
Even though Heather arrives with two rolls of bubble wrap, we all know she only brought them to pad one of the ladies in case of fight.
In essence, Shannon has too much stuff, and no amount of Housewives arriving in heels and weirdly cut jumpsuits is gonna be helpful. Even worse she’s forced to loiter awkwardly in the kitchen staring at Kelly, who finally burps out an apology in between guzzling champs, after Shannon realizes they’ll soon be neighbors. Finally, Tamra and Heather decide the thing to do is a closet clean-out, because NOTHING (and I mean this sincerely) is more cathartic and unifying than shifting through your friend’s clothes and tossing out all the ugly things. And Shannon, well, some of her crap was downright atrocious, and as Tamra and Kelly agree, “old lady.”
“You gotta sex up your wardrobe,” Tamra lectures, replacing Shannon’s Burberry blouses with a handful of her own BeBe halter tops, then dumping 3/4 of Shannon’s ballet flats and wedge heels into a burn pile. It’s weird because Shannon’s first season, I thought she looked really cute. Then suddenly David cheated and she morphed into Pat Nixon? All the pastel and pussy bows and frumpy clothes mixed with goofy platform sandals she bought from Kim Kardashian‘s eBay store… no.
When Meghan finally arrives all packing ceases, and they have lunch on Shannon’s sofa, which is the same shade of red-orange both Tamra and Kelly were wearing. Did Tamra take that as a sign to fade into the background? Hell no! Instead she announces she’s leaving because SOME PEOPLE, people wearing a big sequined headband, don’t want to talk about ALL the things they DID WRONG. She means Meghan.
Tamra is outraged that Meghan “is going around town” accusing her of being reckless. Meghan inferred this after that phone call where Tamra confessed her over confidence is what led her to higher dunes. Meghan shoots back that Tamra, the Good Christian Witch, told her to “Go to hell!” and then it all kinda fizzled out like the tepid champagne left in Shannon’s glass. But Meghan is still, accurately, wondering why Shannon isn’t getting any blame for ditching Vicki at the hospital?
Shannon sidelines packing to have hair and makeup done on LOCK for their gig. This entire event made me sad. Instead of throwing the party in some kid-friendly venue where the girls friends could come to cheer them on, Shannon essentially made them do a school talent show performance in a bar for all her middle-aged friends, who all wore $4,000 leather jackets because that’s what they think looks rocker. This wasn’t an event for Shannon’s girls, this was an event for Shannon. So she could show off special mothering. Even Kelly was invited – haphazardly.
This gig just another example of Shannon and David inappropriately putting adulthood onto their kids.
Shannon was having fun until David’s mother and sister walked in, uninvited and unannounced. So while Shannon was woo-hooing and waving her lighter in the air to LOCK’s original song, Donna, mother of David, was whispering to Kelly, of all people, that Shannon hates her and therefore she never sees her granddaughters. Even Kelly was too momentarily shocked to react, and just said “Nooooooo…Shannon loves you.” Then Kelly grabbed Shannon to let her know what was up. That was the end of Kelly’s normal behavior.
Shannon cornered David to hiss that his mother was, once again, “an issue” that needed to be holistically and non-chemically exterminated from her otherwise amazing marriage. Meanwhile, Donna told Tamra and Kelly that David is a good man who made “one mistake,” because Shannon pushed him. Meaning she pushed him into cheating.
Well, that’s a mic drop.
David is responsible for his own wandering peen. He’s also a grown man who is responsible for being honest with his wife if he is so unhappy with Shannon. Instead, he confided in his kids and let them do part of his dirty work.
Not knowing the true extent of Donna’s gossip and with them being given the brush-off by David, Shannon ushers her friends upstairs, ignoring the kids. Shannon explains that David’s family has never accepted her and they are the ones who make the relationship unbearable. Which is when Tamra reveals that Donna blames Shannon for David’s affair.
“Are you f–king kidding me?!” Shannon bellows. She storms up to David in a rage to scream about his mother. In front of her kids. Shannon is outraged not only that Donna blames her for the affair, but that she told Tamra and Kelly, two strangers to her, extremely denigrating information.
While Shannon is shrieking at David and demanding he denounce his mother to all and sundry, Kelly interjects to defend Donna. Exactly WHY? This is where Kelly lost me. Tamra was no better, snickering behind her hands, and pretending she had no idea Shannon would fly into a rage since she’s supposedly “over” the affair. (She’s not. She never will be. Nada. Natch. Zilch. Not Happening.).
Shannon runs into the bathroom until David pries her out. In the vestibule between the men and women’s rooms, she insists he choose her, and defend her by making it clear that she in no way was responsible for his affair.
In the limo home the girls, who witnessed Shannon‘s eruption, ask what happened with grandma. David tries to tactfully explain that she said some inappropriate things about mommy, which she believes, “but aren’t necessarily true.” Shannon can’t just let this choice of words go for her kids, she barks at David, over Stella’s head, that he’s not being honest, forcing David to reword his statement and over-disclose too adult information to the girls.
Why can’t Shannon realize being close to your kids doesn’t mean viewing them as peers? Why can’t Vicki? Such a bummer for the girls that their gig was completely overtaken by mommy and daddy’s affair drama, Shannon’s histrionics, family issues, and room full of middle-aged women who couldn’t pick the members of LOCK out of a lineup.
TELL US – DID SHANNON OVERREACT TO DONNA’S COMMENTS? IS VICKI HIGH-MAINTENANCE?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
A bad photo of Shannon’s closet full of lampshades. Did she have another one full of blinds?
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