Despite some truly LOL-worthy guesses for some of the competitors in week four, two of the judges actually nailed who the performer under the Skeleton was on The Masked Singer. Spoilers...
It's the first day of senior year at Riverdale High School, and things are totally normal on Riverdale, right? Wrong. The second installment of Riverdale season four jumped a couple...
You can always count on Real Housewives Of Dallas to go someplace whacky and completely unexpected, and tonight is no exception when they go ghost hunting. Literally they like enter the Blair Witch Project. But I think the struggle is finding out who are the real witches: the Housewives or the actual ghosts.
Right on the heels of her lingerie shower comes another event for LeeAnne Locken‘s wedding when she celebrates her bachelorette with a PG stripper that even Kameron Westcott isn’t too repulsed by.
Kary Brittingham makes the mistake of confronting LeeAnne about why D’Andra Simmons was excluded from yet another wedding event, which leads to a major argument between LeeAnne and Kary.
Kameron and Stephanie Hollman, meanwhile, attempt another (this time non-intoxicated) conversation about their friendship to hopefully work things out between the two of them. If Brandi Redmond and Kam can find some neutral ground, anything is possible!
Brandi continues trying to bond with Brooklyn by introducing her to cheerleading.
Finally, Brandi takes the ladies ghost hunting at what appears to be a new hotel she and her husband are investing in. The medium is there to spot actual spirits but finds herself dealing with the Housewives’ own haunted past with each other. Eh, I’m sure all poltergeists are created equal and Housewives love gaudy crystals just as much as ghosts do!
Watch Real Housewives Of Dallas tonight at 9 PM on Bravo. Comment throughout the episode on this post. Tweet us with your thoughts. Follow us on Instagram. Like our page on Facebook. And make sure to check our site tomorrow for our Real Housewives Of Dallas recap!
TELL US – WHICH HOUSEWIFE IS THE BIGGEST WITCH?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Dallas Go Ghost Hunting On Tonight’s Episode! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Fans have crowned their latest “guy I love to hate” king. And, drum roll please, the honor goes to Real Housewives of Orange County’s Emily Simpson’s husband. Shane Simpson.
One would assume the decision to air your life on reality tv would have been a joint decision between the couples. Yet, we’ve continued to have a few husbands who show up to the party with barely concealed contempt for not only the other women, but even their own wives.
Thankfully, we don’t get to see very much of Shane. He has been busy “studying” for a bar exam. In a hotel room. And yet he still manages to fail. Maybe he should spend his time trying to become a better person.
It’s been very painful to watch Emily try to drag a smidgen of affection from her husband. Only to have Shane smirk, act mildly irritated then belittle her feelings with a snide comment. And if this passive-aggressive attitude seems all too familiar to you, you are not alone. Apparently, there have been quite a few fans who have noticed it as well.
Recently, Emily was a guest on Watch What Happens Live After Show where Andy Cohen brought up the similarities being made. “Shane is being compared a lot to Jim Bellino,” he noted, “How do you digest that?”
“I mean he’s also being compared to Simon Barney,” Emily responded with some exasperation, “I think he’s compared to anyone who people hate. I mean, it is what it is.” Emily is not even trying to pretend she cares.
Actress, and co-guest, Lauren Lapkus will play the role of a doting wife during this segment. And she was the one who threw the dog Shane a bone. “Do you feel like he turns it on more for the camera?” she asked. Which reminded Emily she should at least pretend to defend her husband. “I feel like he doesn’t really want to film,” she explained, “but instead of like rising to the occasion, I feel he’s like a petulant child. That like throws a tantrum.”
“Does it bother him what people are saying?” Andy wondered. My opinion? Yes Andy, it absolutely does. Emily, on the other hand, was emphatic in her response. “No! Not at all!” While Shane’s hired pr woman Lauren ends the interview with a pro-Shane comment. “I love watching him,” she said, “He’s very entertaining.”
Guys, we’ve completely misread Shane. He’s not an emotionally absent, condescending, passive-aggressive man. He’s hamming it up in front of the cameras. Interestingly enough, Emily’s friend Alexis Bellino even said she saw some similarities between Shane and her ex-husband Jim. But claims the twosome is doing better now.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK SHANE IS MISUNDERSTOOD? IS EMILY MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM? DO YOU SEE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN SHANE AND JIM?
[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]
The post Emily Simpson Responds To Fan Comments Comparing Shane Simpson To Jim Bellino appeared first on Reality Tea.
With Dollface, Hulu's new comedy, a relatable web is woven with some surreal elements. The new series follows Jules (Kat Dennings), a young woman who lost herself to a relationship, and...
Brandi Glanville‘s friendship-ending feud with Lisa Vanderpump is the stuff of legends on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
However, the RHOBH alum recently had a few things to say about her former BFF moving on from the show that made them both household names, and the former truth cannon of the 90210 was surprisingly…nice(?) regarding LVP‘s dramatic exit from the series.
“Honestly, I don’t think about her with the group of girls,” Brandi told Entertainment Tonight‘s Brice Sander. “She has so much going on herself, she doesn’t really fit in with the girls anymore. Because she’s not getting in a bikini and jumping off cliffs. She’s at that next chapter and she has everything — let’s be clear.
While her aversion to donning a two-piece and jumping off cliffs may have explained LVP ruining Erika Jayne‘s vacation in the Bahamas last season, Brandi admitted that it’s still hard to watch her bestie-turned-mortal-enemy take the fall during this year’s dog drama surrounding Dorit Kemsley, Lucy Lucy Apple Juice and a Radar Online hit piece.
“It’s not fun to watch someone that you used to love kind of go down,” she confessed. “No matter what we went through, it’s not fun to watch. But I really just feel like…that chapter’s closed [for her].”
While Brandi may seem suddenly supportive of the OG she once referred to as “family,” she was singing a different tune when she popped up in Season 9. During her first cameo appearance on RHOBH in three years, Brandi insisted to pal Denise Richards that Lisa “for sure” leaked the damaging story about Dorit to the press, claiming her old friend “has a direct hotline to Radar Online.” On the RHOBH Aftershow following the episode, she even went as far as to say she was glad to see the cast finally “calling [LVP] on her shit,” calling her former bestie both “intoxicating” and “manipulative.”
TELL US – ARE YOU SURPRISED BY BRANDI’S NICE COMMENTS ABOUT LVP? WHAT DO YOU THINK CAUSED HER CHANGE OF HEART?
[Photo Credit: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)
The post Brandi Glanville Says Lisa Vanderpump’s Takedown On Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Was “Not Fun To Watch” appeared first on Reality Tea.
Stumptown, ABC's new private eye series, features a stacked ensemble cast. "I've never really been on a show where everybody kind of actually likes each other," Michael...
Could this be any more shocking? During Radio 1 Breakfast's "Unpopular Opinions" segment on Wednesday, Paul Rudd admitted he hasn't seen a majority of Friends, the...
This is another venture into the world of frivolous high-end measures to thwart the horrific process of aging! Guess what, only one thing stops the aging process and it’s called dropping dead, but that doesn’t prevent the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills from sharing their tips. Getting older isn’t cheap, you guys. Especially in the world of entertainment. I mean, it takes about 40 grand a month for Erika Jayne to even exist. But Erika is special, I mean she communicates through costume and everything. Ask her husband Tom Girardi how that’s working out… Lisa Rinna has also shared beauty tips. Viewers had the opportunity to witness Lisa’s lady waxing routine, which traumatized us all. Rinna has also confessed to a costly beauty regimen, though it is significantly less than Erika’s at only $2000 per month.
Now we have former RHOBH star Eileen Davidson providing some insight on looking young. Eileen looks wonderful, not too pulled or too assaulted by Botox. She obviously enjoys an athletic lifestyle while maintaining an extremely busy work schedule. Recently Eileen made a discovery on the path to eternal youth. Thanks to paid advertisements a high-tech new mask, Eileen has a new favorite thing! Let’s hear all about how science is helping Eileen combat those pesky wrinkles! Hope you have some cash handy.
Some people will try just about anything to look younger. Many Housewives have changed their faces entirely. Vicki Gunvalson and NeNe Leakes can tell you a thing or two about visiting a plastic surgeon to erase the evidence of time. Not that anything is wrong with that! I fully support those who set about fixing things they don’t like. Even if it means being on your 19th face or nose.
Now we have Eileen wading into the land of beauty treatments reserved for people with money to burn seeking a way to defeat the unholy act of aging. According to Bravo’s The Daily Dish, Eileen unleashed her new paycheck discovery on Instagram. It’s called the Kahuna LED Skincare Solution Mask, and it’s going to make you so pretty! As long as you have $2500 to drop and wishful thinking.
Eileen captioned a photo of her life-changing LED mask and wrote, “Just hanging out with my new best friend #kahunamask ! I’ve used it twice and can already see that lines and wrinkles are softening! Super excited to see what happens in the next week!” Uh-huh, listen Eileen, I have a feeling the only thing that mask does is make you look like a failed Avenger. Stan Lee called from the grave and said, “nope!” But more power to ya, girl.
I hope that mask isn’t too potent, or Eileen’s face could completely disappear. Yes, it might seem a tad far-fetched that a robot face with disco lighting could be a beauty aid, but LED light therapy has been a go-to resource for years.
So if you find yourself purchasing this device and using it, by all means, let us know if it eliminates fine lines and wrinkles. Until then, maybe Eileen has a mask that will go pick up the eyeballs that have rolled out of my head at the thought of paying $2500 to look like an antique Iron Man. Beauty is pain and money, y’all!
TELL US- DO YOU THINK LIGHT THERAPY WORKS? WOULD YOU SPEND $2500 FOR THIS MASK? IS EILEEN ONLY DOING THIS FOR MONEY?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Former Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Star Eileen Davidson Swears By $2500 Face Mask; Says It’s Her “New Best Friend” appeared first on Reality Tea.
The women? They'll kill again. E! News has learned CBS All Access is bringing Why Women Kill back for a second season. Created by Desperate Housewives' Marc Cherry, Why Women Kill...
Bethenny Frankel knows how to hustle. There’s no doubt about that. She’s also been afforded plenty of opportunities to demonstrate that hustle across a host of platforms – reality television specifically. She got her start on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart in 2005, and came in second place. While she has admitted in interviews that she thinks Martha Stewart was not a fan of hers, she definitely impressed producer Mark Burnett. Shortly thereafter, Bethenny was cast on a little show we know called Real Housewives of New York City, and well the rest is history!
In her time on RHONY, Bethenny went from single, to married, to divorced mom, and author, all while building an immensely successful brand. She was able to make her ideas a reality, leverage her name and status from the series and build SkinnyGirl into a brand. The brand was executed so well that she sold the company to Fortune Brands Beam Global in 2011 for an estimated 120 million dollars. Her story is part of why fans admire her and she definitely has bragging rights.
Bethenny was recently quoted in Yahoo! Finance about her plans post-RHONY. When asked about the challenges facing women entrepreneurs, Bethenny answered in a way that only emphasized her personal assets. “I have amazing ideas and I execute and I’m honest and I’m straightforward and I’m cutthroat,” she said. “I’m just not the one who’s going to be complaining about ‘woe is me,’” she elaborated. So, there are no challenges facing women entrepreneurs today?
According to Bethenny, women entrepreneurs can just work harder to overcome any challenges. “Most people don’t work hard,” Bethenny stated. “Most people move the papers around the desk metaphorically and think they’re working hard,” she said. Bottom line, being a woman entrepreneur is simply, Bethenny shared, “about working hard.”
Sure, working hard is essential to getting anywhere. The phrase “working hard” is barely ever defined. There are people besides Bethenny, who work hard every day at two, three, four jobs. They will still never in their lives reach a hundred million dollar fortune. Hard work is not the only thing that enables people to reach the levels of success Bethenny has. It takes connections, huge platforms that come with built-in audiences, and a host of other skills that are not accessible to everyone.
I appreciate Bethenny for her philanthropy and B.Strong. I live for her on RHONY. I’m mourning her absence already in the next season. But when it comes to talking business and success, she frames herself as a unicorn, singularly equipped to get things done, using vague statements. Rich people are very rarely the only people who ‘work hard’ in this world. Often times they are not “self-made”. Their success is also helped by having access to things. Bethenny, does work very hard mainly selling low calorie beverages and snacks, I won’t deny her that.
TELL US- HOW HARD DO YOU HAVE TO WORK TO GET WHERE BETHENNY IS? IS BETHENNY THE HARDEST WORKING HOUSEWIFE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Bethenny Frankel Says That “Most People Don’t Work Hard” appeared first on Reality Tea.
Meghan King Edmonds returned to The Real Housewives of Orange County for Shannon Storms Beador's big birthday bash and she inadvertently provided one of the show's funniest scenes in...
The Real Housewives of Orange County has had more than its share of bad marriages. Viewers have been subjected to uncomfortable scenes of marriages falling apart almost since the beginning of the show. Watching RHOC through the years is enough to make someone not only think twice about marriage, but to consider taking a vow of celibacy!
Who could forget the unhappy union of Donn Gunvalson and Vicki Gunvalson? The ugly fights of Tamra Judge and Simon Barney? Kelly Dodd’s eagerness to shed husband Michael Dodd? More recently, Gina Kirschenheiter’s divorce has played out on the show and in the media like a tragic Lifetime movie. Emily Simpson’s marriage has also been the subject of conversation due to hubby Shane Simpson’s disdainful comments towards her on the show. It seems fair to ask, how does Emily really feel about Shane’s sarcastic comments?
On a recent Watch What Happens Live Aftershow, host Andy Cohen asked Emily, “His [Shane’s] interviews are devastating. Are they to you?” Emily replied, “No.” Andy then followed up with, “No? Why?”
Emily responded, “Because that’s him. Like I know when other people see it for the first time, they’re like, ‘Oh my God. I can’t believe he said that.'”
Yes, Emily, that is probably how most people feel when they hear some of Shane’s comments. Shocked, appalled and a little curious as to why you are still married to him. Many couples playfully joke with each other, but Shane’s comments often go beyond what is respectful or fun.
Andy when on to state, “People think that you definitely are going to get divorced.” Emily denied this would happen, saying, “Yeah, no.” Well, it was a fair statement from Andy. Emily and Shane are not exactly the poster couple for marital respect and happiness!
In follow up, Andy went on to ask Emily, “There’s nothing he’s said when you’ve watched it back that has hurt you?”
Emily answered, “Yeah, I mean I think he’s a dick. I mean, I’m not like, like oh my gosh, like he’s a jerk. He’s being a dick. Like I get it. I’m not like trying to make excuses for him.” But didn’t Emily just excuse Shane’s behavior by saying, “Because that’s him?”
Every marriage has problems and most marriages probably have communication issues of some kind. But it must be difficult–and maybe eye-opening–to see your private concerns played out for the world to see on television.
Is there a kinder, gentler Shane that the viewers don’t experience? Emily claims there is. She explained, “But I see a side of him that other people don’t get to see. So I think that that’s what makes up for it. Like, I know it sounds awful, but then I’m the one that goes home with him at night when we’re alone and he says nice things and he gives me cards and he writes nice things to me.”
In expressing what many viewers probably wonder about, Andy stated, “It’s interesting that he doesn’t find it in his own best interest to do that when the cameras are on.”
Emily agreed with Andy’s assertion, admitting, “No, you would think. I mean, he’s obviously smart. Like, he has a high IQ, but like, I think the dick side takes over. I don’t know.” That would be Shane, “Lil Bitch” Simpson, to be exact. The person Kelly warned us all about last season.
Concluding her thoughts about her husband, Emily joked, “I said to him, when someone asks you if you miss your wife and kids, the answer is always fricking yes.”
Let’s hope for Emily’s sake that “yes” from Shane is expressed genuinely in the future. Everyone deserves respect–especially a spouse. Cards with nice words are great, but don’t really make up for repeated sarcastic digs. Emily has claimed that Shane has learned a lesson about his behavior from being on the show. Only time will tell if the Simpson marriage goes down the divorce road that so many other RHOC couples have taken.
TELL US- DO YOU THINK EMILY MINIMIZES SHANE’S BEHAVIOR? DO YOU BELIEVE THEIR MARRIAGE WILL LAST?
[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]
The post Andy Cohen Says Shane Simpson’s Comments About Marriage With Emily Simpson Are “Devastating”; Emily Disagrees appeared first on Reality Tea.
Will and Grace and baby?! The final season of Will & Grace got an early premiere date--it's taking Sunnyside's timeslot as of Thursday, Oct. 24--and with the news, came a brand-new...
There’s been many a times I’ve suffered second-hand embarrassment while watching a Real Housewives show, but last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County was officially THE WORST. I was literally blowing a metaphorical whistle at the TV as I witnessed Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Tamra Judge‘s dry-humping. Too much tongue is often a problem on Bravo, but usually in a very different way.
Tamra has the brilliant idea to take a train down to Del Mar, fill plastic penises with vodka, and pass out train conductor whistles to celebrate Shannon Beador‘s 55th birthday party. Cause nothing says middle-age like a drunken orgy!
This trip has historical significance for several reasons: 1) Del Mar is Shannon’s old haunt, from back when she was “fun Shannon,” chugging Andre champagne and stalking surfer dudes; 2) It references the train rumor that so plagued Kelly Dodd‘s indefatigable reputation; 3) Meghan King Edmonds is attending for some unknown reason.
Now, first of all, Tamra totally planned this train trip with the intention of pissing Kelly off. Vicki Gunvalson tries to warn Tamra. Vicki is either trying to make herself look good by being all ‘Oh no Tamra — Kelly won’t like this joke,’ or Vicki really is stupid enough to believe Tamra doesn’t get it.
Kelly beats Tamra at her own game, though, by being OK with Tamra’s idea of a joke. Good for Kelly’s, uh, momentary maturity. I guess when that didn’t work out Tamra had to up the ante by making out with Braunwyn. Now back to Shannon’s wild days in San Diego!
Why are there no photos showed from this time? Because in reality Shannon was installing tracking devices on her crush’s surfboard and Lysol wiping the bottle of champagne in between sips because sharing germs can give you mono and mono is toxic to the body’s system, and although seashells contain trace minerals to clarify, sand up the hoo-hah can cause labial abrasions which means NO beach sex, cause omg that sand hasn’t been sterilized with ultrasonic rays at a certain frequency and stored in a hyperbaric chamber of pure oxygen for 101 days of 40 degree sunlight. Also, Shannon doesn’t sleep with surfers who don’t give out promise rings and life jackets. And also condoms, but not latex cause – not organic!
Basically ‘Fun Shannon‘ only existed in her imagination.
Moving along, Emily Simpson is also not in the mood for fun. Gina Kirschenheiter still isn’t speaking to her and Emily doesn’t understand. There she is sitting all by herself on the train platform, feeling like she got Carrie’d by being told to meet someplace while everyone goes to a different platform to party in Santa Monica instead. And then Meghan arrives.
Meghan is wearing a conductor’s hat and investigating Emily’s feelings 5 seconds into meeting her. Meghan’s spy-dy senses just know something’s wrong! What’s wrong is she turns up wearing a coat that looks like my grandmother’s bathmat from 1972 and a wig straight out of a New Jersey prom. Gina completely ignores Emily but hugs everyone else “hello.” Gina isn’t being passive aggressive – this is how mature friends act when they just need some space!
Tamra passes out dildos. Then they all get on board a passenger train full of commuters who look on, scandalized, as Kelly proceeds to demonstrate the proper way to give a blow job using a gummy penis. Afterward, Kelly reveals that she’s fighting with Dr. Brian because he didn’t call her post-surgery and went to a bar to unwind instead. As a girlfriend, Kelly thinks she deserves hourly check-ins, but Brian thinks she’s being insecure. Kelly’s response to that is that he should do more to reassure her. Kellogic!
When Bravo turns into a AfterSchool Special on how to hoochie with a cross between Girl On The Train, someone needs to call Vivid Entertainment.
Also, just so everyone is clear: Braunwyn will do three-ways (and Tamra) but not BJs. Unless it’s for bags. But no teabagging.
Tamra and Vicki keep pressing the issue about what’s going on between a sulking Gina and Emily. First. Tamra asks Gina how her date went, and Gina bellows that she got stood-up (she didn’t – “Stood up” is if the person didn’t show up to the actual date, not if they called beforehand, sent a photo of the broken toe, and properly canceled). Later at dinner, Vicki keeps prying, which leads to a huge fight between Emily and Gina. Vicki and Tamra couldn’t be more obvious!
Two people who are getting along marvelously are Vicki and Kelly. “I’m not going to forgive what she’s done, but I’m trying to forget because I know it’s the right thing to do,” explains Kelly.
Over dinner, Shannon decides to blow her whistle whenever she sees a “handsome” man for herself or Gina, but honestly she mostly uses that whistle to referee fights and call off Braunwyn from mauling Tamra with her tongue. The first recipients are Gina and Emily.
Emily realizes that Gina is talking about her to Vicki, Tamra, and Kelly so she stomps to the bathroom with Meghan hot on her heels, and Braunwyn trailing after. Emily is livid that Gina won’t speak to her, but is obviously discussing why she’s angry with the rest of the group, leaving Emily iced out. Braunwyn runs back to the table to tattle and Gina goes barging in there.
Once inside the ladies room (oxymoron if I ever heard one), Gina yells at Meghan for getting involved, and blames Emily for involving her. OMG – Meghan was literally just trying to pee! And HAAAAA to the women standing in line for the bathroom like how did I end up on Jerry Springer Candid Cam?
Gina also claims Emily is hiding in the bathroom on purpose, wanting to talk to Gina and knowing she’s a germaphobe. What kind of germaphobe never cleans her house and constantly sits on the floor? Anyway, Gina truly believes Emily tried to purposefully set her up on a bunko date. She also thinks Emily should accept Gina ignoring for as long as it takes for her to get over it. Emily decides to bail and runs outside to wait for an Uber. Then Gina trash talks Emily to Meghan. The same Meghan Gina just said shouldn’t be involved.
Gina obviously finds Emily outside so they start bickering again before deciding they’re not friends anymore. Over Shane’s cousin.
Shannon is irritate – this is supposed to be her party yet it’s become all about Emily. Shannon dispatches Kelly – of all undiplomatic people – to pull them out of the bathroom. Kelly is leery of this plan, because as she succinctly puts it, “Nothing good comes out in a bathroom. Shannon should know.” FOR. THE. WIN.
In the end, Kelly does a decent job mediating even after Shannon and Tamra come out to scream and whistle at Emily for ruining everything, but at least Emily comes back to the table so they can go terrorize the next restaurant. And terrorize is an major understatement. MAJOR.
Shannon just wants a kiss for her birthday. Not a workout for the O-Shot, but a simple kiss. Unfortunately, the only people kissing are Tamra and Braunwyn. These two were allllll over each other in the middle of the restaurant. In the midst of train whistles, shrieking, a crying Emily and Gina, and the disgusted eyes of neighboring diners. Shannon did try to warn the other patrons upon their arrival…
How small was this restaurant? Because it appeared that the other diners were literally sitting on top of the Housewives, as they watched a dinner theater of Grannies Gone Wild – the made for TV, censored version.
Things kick off with Shannon waving a tequila shot and screaming that 55 is gonna rock! Especially when she uses her AARP discount card at concert venues! And in Dr. Brian’s office, where she’s apparently renting a room since she’s in there every other week for procedures. (Of course, the O Shot came from there!)
Then, Tamra proceeds to lead Shannon around the restaurant shrieking for single guys to come out, come out wherever they are because “Shannon’s looking to get laid.” Every single guy is married. And hiding. I’m sure they were all standing on toilet seats hoping Tamra couldn’t find her with her beady little eyes and flickering snout attuned to cheap aftershave.
Since Shannon’s sexual tension must remain intact, we get to hear more about Braunwyn’s over-sexed Life. She no longer finds men attractive and when she is having sex with Sean, imagines other women. Guess what – Tamra also does all this too!! Um, last week, Eddie was the hottest guy in the world and their sex life was sooooooo amazingly HOTTT, and gay rumors were destroying everything. Now Tamra is fantasizing about other women? Something smells fishy…
Only Gina, ill-situated as always, sits between them and sucking tequila-scented lip gloss off each other’s lips. Luckily, after a warning lick from Tamra, a whistle blow, and an ‘I love you’ from Emily, Gina moves to safety. Because following the fighting comes the make-up tears, then the making out. At one point Braunwyn had her hands down Tamra’s shirt fondling her boobs. And how does all this cheating on Eddie fit in with Tamra’s inconvenient faith? What Would Satan Do? (WWSD) A: Tamra.
UGH. Is all I have to say to Tamra and Braunwyn jumping on the I Kissed A Girl train about 20 years too late. Just stop with the college sorority girls antics to appear edgy. No one wants to taste bitter cherry chapstick. As Vicki frantically attempts to referee Braunwyn and Tamra’s tongue twisting and Shannon clutches her penis pendant with shock. Gina and Emily have a serious-ish heart to heart.
Another drunk sorority girl cliche, but one I much prefer. Gina acknowledges that she knows Emily would never knowingly hurt her and gives Emily the chance to explain that the cousin isn’t one Shane is close with, so she truly had no idea. Gina forgives her, but complains that there’s a “character flaw” in Emily that makes their relationship difficult. Emily’s only character flaw is being too forgiving.
Gina is a nightmare human being, who needs to worry less about dating and more about getting her license restored. Also Gina was blaming Emily for trying to make her look bad by wanting her to party in Vegas, but partying in Del Mar with penis pops = totally legit!
Kelly is annoyed by Vicki’s holier than thou attitude, like she’s an extension of Steve’s badge by policing vag. Honestly, it’s moments like these when I miss Heather Dubrow. This would never happen on her scrutinizing gaze, but as it stands we have Vicki not getting the irony in her playing morality police. Too bad she didn’t succeed. I have nothing against Braunwyn and Tamra being attracted to each other, but I have something against attention-seeking stunts from middle-aged mothers whose children will have to see this.
Mid-screech about threesomes Tamra drunkenly collapses off her chair. Then Vicki and Shannon both tumble trying to rescue her. Vicki’s hair gets caught in Tamra’s shirt, so they’re both paralyzed, and Shannon whacks tooth on table. When they finally disentangle themselves, the entire restaurant claps. Then Shannon cries about what an amazing birthday she’s having. Which was really sweet.
They finally leave this restaurant to lick it’s wounds, and travel to a neighboring club where Kelly tries to bribe the bouncers with $200 to dance with Shannon. Given that the entire city of Del Mar was warned to vacate at their impending arrival, these dudes were pretty much the only dicks in the place! Too bad they’d much rather dance with Kelly.
Of course Braunwyn is twerking all over Tamra, and grabbing her butt on the dance floor. Tamra’s shirt was completely wide open at one point. Later Braunwyn literally mounts Tamra as she’s passing out at a booth. Braunwyn was almost acting like a sexual predator. Emily feels like she’s at a sex show, and wonders if there will be donkeys next. Well, with Braunwyn’s braying laugh she’s not far off!
Vicki decides she’s had enough of “Brown Wind” polluting their friend group with her groping and her grasping for attention so she calls a car to come pick her up.
“Braunwyn bugs the shit out of me,” complains Vicki. “She’s trash.” Vicki doesn’t like that Braunwyn is always trying to be center of attention. AKA, taking Tamra’s attention away from Vicki. I’d like to remind Vicki (and the entire viewing public) that Tamra is just as trashy (and so is Vicki)! But at least Braunwyn’s antics got Vicki to leave early, so there’s that!
Also, Shannon finally finds one weird creeper named Marcos willing to suck her face and Kelly only had to pay him $20, so this truly was Best. Birthday. Ever!
Just when I thought it would never end. Like I was in a Stanley Kubrick film, we finally re-enter the OC sunshine where Kelly and Dr. Brian are discussing their relationship.
The night of Shannon’s party Kelly called Brian in a drunken rage, so he thinks they need to define boundaries to mitigate their different expectations. It all sounds reasonable and responsible, except he talks like a creepy cult leader or multi-level marketing plastic surgery guru so it’s all too intense. He basically has Kelly hypnotized by his crazy eyes as he drones about how she spoils Jolie by sending her to a $10k summer camps on a private jet and makes excuses for why he doesn’t need to call her all the time.
Look Dr. Lyin‘ – Jolie is way more appreciative and mature than Kelly. Sure, Kelly tries to buy Jolie’s love, but it doesn’t appear to be working and I bet she won’t buy your bogus TV preacher nice guy act either! He’s definitely got something to hide…
TELL US – WERE TAMRA AND BRAUNWYN EXPRESSING THEIR SEXUALITY OR WAS IT TOO MUCH? DO YOU TRUST DR. BRIAN?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap: Girls On The Train appeared first on Reality Tea.
