Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Evening Tea – Daily Links
- Bristol Palin’s ex-fiance claims he is the father of baby Sailor – dlisted
- Hollywood told her she was too fat – Celebitchy
- Teen Mom is back! Thoughts on the premiere? – Celeb Dirty Laundry
- The 2015 Visibility Award winners – AfterEllen
- 20 Questions with Jillian Michaels – Momtastic
- Jennifer Lawrence describes her style as “slutty power lesbian” – dlisted
Photo Credit: Apega/WENN.com
The post Evening Tea – Daily Links appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/01/05/evening-tea-daily-links/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=evening-tea-daily-links
Kourtney Kardashian: My anxiety increased after Scott Disick split
Kourtney Kardashian has opened up about her struggle with anxiety.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/kourtney-kardashian-my-anxiety-increased-after-scott-disick-split--1042113.php
Brandi Glanville Dishes With Nik Richie On Housewives, Bonus Moms, and All The Bitches Who Hate Her!
Brandi Glanville is back to drop the same old truth cannons she’s been blasting for years. In an interview for Nik Richie‘s podcast, the former Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star complained about her ever-growing list of enemies and snarked on everyone from Joanna Krupa (who is suing her) to Kyle Richards.
The highlights – OK, lowlights, are below. And no, we’re not bullying Brandi by PULLING direct quotes from her so don’t try it. It’s not our fault her truth cannons sometimes self-detonate!
First of all Nik is so freaking cheesy. He sucks up to Brandi hardcore and she takes the bait. Then they rehash every. single. dramatic moment of Brandi’s life, but I do like Nik’s voice and he asks insightful questions.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
On LeAnn Rimes being a Bonus Mom to Brandi’s sons:
“She’s healthy now,” Brandi admits, but that doesn’t mean she gets along with LeAnn! Brandi she “begged” LeAnn to stop posting holiday pictures with her sons, but LeAnn refuses to quit. “That lack of respect,” complains Brandi. “I begged and tried for so many years to get things to change and they haven’t.”
“It hurts my feelings,” continues Brandi. “It’s been 6 years, at this point I really am over it. We still battle, don’t get me wrong. I have an issue with her posting pictures of my children on holidays. It’s horrible. If my ex-husband, their dad, isn’t posting pictures – why is she? I’ll grab three bottles of chardonnay, cry myself to sleep and look at what they’re doing for Christmas. It’s hell.”
On returning to Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills:
“My life is like a reality show – there’s drama every. single. day,” describes Brandi. “I really am an asshole – my girlfriend left Craigs last night crying because I hurt her feelings. I’m like, ‘blargh’ and then I think about it later. You can’t take it back…”
Brandi blames Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump for passive-aggressively working behind-the-scenes to get her fired. “I wasn’t asked back full-time because Lisa was like, ‘I’m not shooting with her…'”
“When Kyle and Lisa don’t want you on the show, they will make sure you’re not on the show,” Brandi vows. “They wanted Adrienne Maloof off. When you cross Lisa, she not only wants you off the show, she wants to ruin your life.” Brandi also snaps that Lisa’s restaurants only stay afloat because of tourists wanting photos of Lisa. Mmmmkay.
“You know what I’ve always wanted to do to her [Kyle]? Cut her hair while she’s sleeping! But I looked it up – it’s assault,” laughs Brandi. She does confirm that Kyle’s hair is real, not extensions.
On “Famously Single” (Brandi’s new show):
“We’re supposed to figure out why we’ve all been single for so f–king long,” explains Brandi. “What’s wrong with me is that I have the biggest d–k in the room. I’m like the man and the woman. It’s hard for me to let a guy be a guy.”
“Who is Brandi?” Nik wonders. “Would you want to have a relationships with her because this chick is crazy?” Brandi insists we’ll see a different side of her and jokes about being “in love” with Pauly D, her co-star on Famously Single. “I love Pauly D – we’re getting married!” she gushes. She also shades his supposed relationship with Aubrey O’Day.
On Earning Housewives Money:
“I’ve saved a lot of money from Housewives – they pay well,” Brandi reminds us. “[This season] I was ready for a really big raise, and I was really excited obviously, and then they didn’t ask me back full time. Then that money is totally different.” Brandi negotiated and ended up getting a decent paycheck to come back for guest roles.
About Joanna Suing Her:
Brandi claims she won’t comment, but then of course she does. After warning Nik that Joanna will sue him too. “I am spending a lot, a lot, on lawyers,” laments Brandi. “Now I’m writing $20,000 checks. It will be a year in February. There’s no end in sight. I’m now on my second round of lawyers.” Brandi hired an attorney in Miami – someone she found randomly but likes a lot. And the attorney is “fairly certain” Brandi will win the suit and get her money back.
“I apologized to her,” Brandi says, as if that should make Joanna drop the suit.
“If I sued everyone who said something bad about me, I’d been court all day, every day,” gripes Brandi. “I don’t even know this woman,” whines Brandi. “I’ve met her once.” Uh – than WHY would you say such horrible things about a woman who you don’t know?!
Of Mohamed allegedly having an affair with Joanna, while married to Yolanda Foster, Brandi claims this was a rumor she and Yolanda read online, which was circulating on several blogs. “We didn’t make this up,” maintains Brandi, who feels the affair was confirmed when Joanna bumped into Yolanda at the Bravo Upfronts but “literally turned and ran.”
On Getting Fired From RHOBH: “It was hard because it was like my family for 5- years and then I was cast aside. You kinda feel like your boyfriend dumped you.”
On Kyle and Kim Richards:
Brandi stands firm that Kyle is using Kim’s addiction for a storyline on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. “It’s family. We’re not trying to ruin lives here, we’re making a TV show! I don’t know that the stuff that went down on TV didn’t have something to do with the downfall of Kim after. I would go have a drink too.” Nik questions the show “enabling” Kim’s addiction.
“There not pushing us to do anything,” Brandi clarifies. “You bring it on yourself.”
Nik also shades Mauricio for being featured on The Dirty several times over “hooking up with randoms.” In response Brandi laughs. She also refuses to comment on Mauricio’s issues with Rick Hilton citing a “cease and desist letter” that prohibits her from discussing it.
You can listen to Nik’s full interview with Brandi here.
Tonight is a brand new episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and thankfully we won’t be seeing Brandi yet! Instead the ladies travel to the Hamptons where Kyle is opening a pop-up for Kyle by AleneToo and Lisa is hosting a white party. Unfortunately the women snub Lisa when they ditch her in the hotel and rent a fabulous house. Kyle gets her comeuppance though when Kim is again arrested and the women confront her about what the hell is going on with KimKillah.
Reality Tea will be live-tweeting!
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRANDI’S LATEST TRUTH CANNON INTERVIEW?
[Photo Credit: Nicky Nelson/WENN.com]
The post Brandi Glanville Dishes With Nik Richie On Housewives, Bonus Moms, and All The Bitches Who Hate Her! appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/01/05/brandi-glanville-dishes-nik-richie-housewives-bonus-moms-bitches-hate/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=brandi-glanville-dishes-nik-richie-housewives-bonus-moms-bitches-hate
A preview of Killing Fields, Discovery’s first true-crime series
from reality blurred http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2016/01/killing-fields-discovery-channel-preview/
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Caitlyn Jenner graces 'The Advocate' cover: I can handle criticism but I'm aware there's more to womanhood than clothing and makeup
Caitlyn Jenner has graced the cover of The Advocate magazine and opened up about what she's learned since transitioning into a woman late last summer and how she's dealt with protest and hate.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/caitlyn-jenner-graces-the-advocate-cover-i-can-handle-criticism-but-im-aware-there-more-womanhood-than-clothing-and-makeup-19057.php
Tyga slams 14-year-old model Molly O'Malia's accusations of "strange" messaging that made her "uncomfortable"
Tyga is firing back at 14-year-old model Molly O'Malia after she accused him of sending her messages and requests to FaceTime that made her uncomfortable.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/tyga-slams-14-year-old-model-molly-omalia-accusations-of-strange-messaging-that-made-her-uncomfortable-19056.php
'The Bachelor' host: This will "definitely" be the most dramatic season ever, and yet the most romantic
The Bachelor host Chris Harrison apparently feels no shame in being repetitive.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-host-this-will-definitely-be-most-dramatic-season-ever-and-yet-most-romantic-19055.php
'The Bachelor' star Ben Higgins makes his initial cuts after meeting 28 beautiful bachelorettes
The Bachelor star Ben Higgins eliminated seven bachelorettes during Monday night's premiere of the ABC reality dating series' twentieth season.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-star-ben-higgins-makes-his-initial-cuts-after-meeting-28-beautiful-bachelorettes-19049.php
Day
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Phaedra Parks Puts Todd Tucker On Blast Over Workout Video; Explains Why She Hasn’t Paid!
The old saying goes there’s three-sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. But when it comes to Real Housewives Of Atlanta there’s at least 63 sides to every story and probably none of them contain the truth. This season Phaedra Parks is being accused of withholding money she owes Todd Tucker over a prenatal workout video they worked on 3 years ago.
Yesterday Kandi Burruss explained that Todd has been patiently waiting for the final payment for a project that is completed. Today Phaedra shares her – very different – side of the story.
“The issue of me owing money to Todd Tucker for production of a prenatal workout video has gotten completely misrepresented and needlessly become the source of harsh feelings,” Phaedra begins in her Bravo blog. “Let me set the record straight for those who lack the necessary rudiments.”
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
“First of all, this business matter is between TTucker Productions and Nida Fitness. Nida Fitness is co-owned by me and my husband,” explains Phaedra. That huuzzzzzzband – at least for now is Apollo, as we know. “Nida Fitness hired TTucker Productions to produce a prenatal fitness video. Post-production on the video was never completed and therefore the final payment was not made. The project has been in limbo.”
Phaedra was seen reviewing footage of the prenatal DVD with Todd, but per the usual tricky Bravo editing it was never specified what type of footage they were viewing: was it raw footage, an editing sample, a competed segment, or a completed product?
There’s been a lot of chatter about whether or not Apollo is also culpable for owing Todd for the DVD. Phaedra reminds us that Apollo was part of their planned fitness venture (he was a trainer in her DVDs and posed with Phaedra on the cover). Here’s the Phine Body website if anyone needs a refresher about the Parks-Nida’s illustrious Phitness Empire!
From prison – via instagram – Apollo is STILL promoting Nida Fitness. Meanwhile, reportedly, the Feds are confiscating his hidden items from Kandi and Todd’s house.
Continues Phaedra, “It is disconcerting to see that Todd opted to discuss the matter with everyone, except the business owners of Nida Fitness; thereby turning this business matter into a personal attack and assault on my character.”
“After I became aware that this matter was circulating the rumor mill, as a professional businesswoman, I invited Todd to come to my office to discuss,” writes Phaedra.
Per Phaedra, what we did not see on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, and what was not said by Kandi or Todd (so who knows if it’s true) is that Phaedra handed Todd a check right then and there. “In good faith, I wrote him a check for half of the outstanding balance,” maintains Phaedra. “Presently, I am still waiting on the final cut.”
“Upon receipt of a commercially acceptable, finished product, I will cut the final check,” concludes Phaedra. “Everybody knows that the final payment follows the final deliverable.”
Interestingly enough Kandi and Phaedra have insisted recently that they remain friends, but after all the mudslinging in Sunday’s episode (about “Little Todd“‘s allowance and dried up TV projects) and Kandi calling Phaedra out on instagram, plus this latest blog the reunion is going to get N-A-S-T-Y.
TELL US – WHO DO YOU THINK IS GIVING US THE REAL STORY?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Phaedra Parks Puts Todd Tucker On Blast Over Workout Video; Explains Why She Hasn’t Paid! appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/01/05/phaedra-parks-puts-todd-tucker-blast-workout-video-explains-hasnt-paid/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=phaedra-parks-puts-todd-tucker-blast-workout-video-explains-hasnt-paid
Whitney Bischoff confirms she's got a new boyfriend on 'Bachelor Live' special
Whitney Bischoff has confirmed she is dating a new guy and their relationship is going extremely well.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/whitney-bischoff-confirms-she-got-new-boyfriend-on-bachelor-live-special--19054.php
Demetria McKinney And Roger Bobb Are Finally Engaged!
After dating since approximately the dark ages Roger Bobb has finally popped the question to Demetria McKinney!
Claudia Jordan broke the news on instagram that the former Real Housewives Of Atlanta extra is finally going to become Mrs. Bobb.
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“My girl got engaged!! Congratulations to @demetria4real and Roger Bobb!! She is the happiest girl in the world!! Yay!!!!!!” gushed Claudia. While that’s a lovely sentiment – Claudia managed to announce Demetria’s big news before Demetria did. The Demetrians will be angry!
However, Demetria quickly confirmed the engagement. “It’s true!” Demetria proclaimed. “I’m no longer #RogerBobb girlfriend! We are #engaged! Thank u to all who rooted for and supported us!” Well her ring is gorgeous. And so is her hair – loving this style on her!
Congratulations to Demetria and Roger. I do wonder – could this be Demetria’s segue back onto Real Housewives Of Atlanta? Would be a fun storyline for next season! Also – Roger Bobb is a hashtag now?
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DEMETRIA’S RING? WILL SHE BE RETURNING TO RHOA FOR A WEDDING STORYLINE?
[Photo Credits: FayesVision/WENN.com & Instagram]
The post Demetria McKinney And Roger Bobb Are Finally Engaged! appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/01/05/demetria-mckinney-roger-bobb-finally-engaged/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=demetria-mckinney-roger-bobb-finally-engaged
Scott Disick reportedly dating Swedish model Lina Sandberg
Scott Disick reportedly has a new woman in his life.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/scott-disick-reportedly-dating-swedish-model-lina-sandberg--19053.php
Ben Higgins on 'The Bachelor' limo entrances: I knew God was there for me when I saw Lauren Bushnell -- "just wow"
Ben Higgins was blown away by his group of 28 women that first night on The Bachelor, and now he's recapping some of his favorite limo entrances.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/ben-higgins-on-the-bachelor-limo-entrances-i-knew-god-was-there-for-me-when-i-saw-lauren-bushnell----just-wow-19052.php
'The Biggest Loser: Temptation Nation' premieres with shocking weight loss and Britney Anderson's elimination
The Biggest Loser: Temptation Nation premiered Monday night on NBC with multiple temptation challenges, heartbreaking stories and the elimination of contestant Britney Anderson.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-biggest-loser-temptation-nation-premieres-with-shocking-weight-loss-and-britney-anderson-elimination-19051.php
'The Bachelor' Season 18's Nikki Ferrell engaged to boyfriend Tyler Vanloo!
Former The Bachelor bachelorette Nikki Ferrell has finally gotten a man to say "I love you" -- not to mention an engagement ring.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-season-18-nikki-ferrell-engaged-boyfriend-tyler-vanloo%21-19050.php
Kanye West performs 'Gold Digger' during 'American Idol' audition
Kanye West is seen auditioning in a new clip of the upcoming 15th and final season of American Idol, much to the judges delight.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/kanye-west-performs-gold-digger-during-american-idol-audition--1042112.php
'The Bachelor' star Ben Higgins makes his first round of cuts after meeting 28 beautiful bachelorettes
The Bachelor star Ben Higgins cut seven bachelorettes during Monday night's premiere of the ABC reality dating series' twentieth season.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-star-ben-higgins-makes-his-first-round-of-cuts-after-meeting-28-beautiful-bachelorettes-19049.php
'The Bachelor' star Ben Higgins makes his first round of cuts after meeting 28 beautiful women
The Bachelor star Ben Higgins cut seven bachelorettes during Monday night's premiere of the ABC reality dating series' twentieth season.from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-star-ben-higgins-makes-his-first-round-of-cuts-after-meeting-28-beautiful-women-19049.php
Why Did RHONY’s Heather Thomson Join A Reality Show?
Heather Thomson was at the top of her game as a New York City businesswoman, so why did she feel compelled to join the cast of a drama-filled reality show like Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New York City? The now-former Real Housewife had a sit-down with Forbes to explain her leap from the boardroom to the TV screen.
When Heather joined RHONY back in 2012 she already had a lengthy and quite impressive resume. She was the founding design director for the Sean “Diddy” Combs label, and had also worked as a stylist with the likes of such A-listers as Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé. After nearly 20 years in the biz, Heather decided to make some moves for herself. She had been noticing that there was a dire need for shapewear that was sexy, comfy and “yummie,” so she stepped out on a limb and launched her own line called Yummie, a brand of shape wear that has a patented three-panel system. The company has now expanded to include bras, panties, denim, leggings, active and the latest and greatest, loungewear.
The famous phone call that changed Heather’s life happened one day when she was just sitting at her desk. A cold call from a Bravo casting director informed her that they had plans for a RHONY cast shake-up. Heather thought the producers wanted to feature her line on the show and then after conversing further, she realized they wanted her instead. At first, she thought the idea of her being a cast member on a reality show was a comical move but then the business side of her took over, “I’m an entrepreneur, I’ve got a barely three-year-old business, and I’m in the middle of a lawsuit with Maidenform, who knocked off my intellectual property and now I have to enforce my patent. I’ve got trouble looking at my profit and loss statement sheet and I’m worried if I’m going to make payroll and be able to pay the lawyers,” she told Forbes. Well the show’s exposure did help put Yummie on the map according to Heather and what was most important to her was basically, “People just knowing we were out there, that we existed. Like, “Hi, we’re here. We’re Yummie by Heather Thomson, come take a look.”
RELATED: Heather Thomson Speaks Out About The Lawsuit Surrounding Yummie
After speaking with her husband Jonathan, who was skeptical at first, they decided she should grab the opportunity to join the cast of RHONY. What mattered most to Heather was the promotion of her brand Yummie however stating, “It was a really big factor in my decision to do it. But, in fairness to that 90%, I am my brand and my brand is me. Heather also felt the show needed an injection of optimism which she feels is the ingredient she adds. Heather told Forbes, “I wanted to show the world what my values and ethics were, because I did feel a bit different from the other women on the show. I tend to be an optimistic person and, you know, I wanted to bring some optimism to the show.”
After initially conquering her nerves about being on a national television show and exposing her genuine self, the mom of two realizes that after three years on the reality series, she has actually found her niche as a ‘housewife’ but not in the traditional sense. Heather tells the business news outlet, “I am ultimately running my household, so I guess I am a housewife, but I’m also an entrepreneur and a businessperson and I really believe in my philanthropic causes. I’m a leader, and I have my own business, and I’m a public speaker and I’m an inventor. I’m all kinds of things. And I guess housewife does fit in there, but not in the old school way, though I know a lot of moms that are home all day long with their kids and it’s truly a full-time job. I kind of thought it was cool to branch out of the old school mold and look at continuing to break the glass ceiling and redefining what a housewife was, or could be.”
TELL US: HAS HEATHER REDEFINED THE MEANING OF HOUSEWIFE?
(Photo credit: Instagram)
The post Why Did RHONY’s Heather Thomson Join A Reality Show? appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/01/05/rhonys-heather-thomson-join-reality-show/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rhonys-heather-thomson-join-reality-show
Will Luann de Lesseps’s Boyfriend ‘Put A Ring On It’ Soon?
Love is in the air big time for Real Housewives of New York City’s, Luann de Lesseps. Reportedly, the Countess is all googly-eyed over boyfriend Thomas D’Agostino Jr. and it is rumored, he just might ‘put a ring on it’ and just in time for the show’s upcoming season.
Luann and Thomas were casual around September but then things really got percolating. Thomas had also reportedly dated RHONY’s resident kook, Ramona Singer for a hot minute but the pair went their separate ways and there doesn’t seem to be any hard feelings. Meanwhile, just who is this Thomas with the oh-so-familiar last name? Well, he is a millionaire and the CEO of Smart Source, LLC, a sourcing company with category expertise in buying, managing and distributing print and promotional materials. Thomas’ last name is also a well known one particularly on the east coast, according to the scuttlebutt, he has been linked to the famed and long-standing supermarket chain, D’Agostino.
As far as any engagement announcements, none have been officially made…yet but Luann is definitely “over the moon and so happy” with her new man. People magazine’s source also divulged that Luann and Thomas rang in the New Year together in Palm Springs, Florida where they frolicked, played golf and shopped for engagement rings. The source claims that the couple plan on getting engaged and the news will soon be heralded!
RELATED: Is Luann de Lesseps Dating Ramona Singer’s Ex?
Well alrighty now, Season 8 of RHONY might be a juicy one at that!
TELL US: DO YOU THINK LUANN WILL BE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE AGAIN?
(Photo credit: Instagram)
The post Will Luann de Lesseps’s Boyfriend ‘Put A Ring On It’ Soon? appeared first on Reality Tea.
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The complete guide to CBB on social media
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Vanderpump Rules Recap: She Said Yes!
Last night on Vanderpump Rules, Tom Schwartz finally took the ring OFF the string and placed it on Katie Maloney‘s finger. Don’t worry – he’ll still be forever tied down to Tom 1!
In cold hard realities, the “A” Tom 1 drunkenly tattooed on his ass stands for Adulting. Tom 1 spent 15 drunken minutes getting inked, but now wants his 15 minutes back. Ariana Madix escorts him to Dat Tat Off, the world’s most professional tattoo removal parlor, which is coincidentally managed by Kristen Doute‘s Machiavellian friend, who happens to be wearing black and white stripes. Tom 1 – forever imprisoned by Kristen somehow! Tom went there in the hopes of getting a ‘friend-ish’ discount.
If they were a movie, it would be called, She’s [He’s] Just Not That Over You (The Tom and Kristen forever dysfunction story). True to form, Kristen’s friend is eager to view the self-inflicted damage Ariana caused Tom to enact.
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For all that lack of dignity, Tom 1 scores a measly 5% off. Which brings his total removal bill to 18 months of purgatory and $1000. Tom cries. Ariana gives him that ‘I told you so’ side-eye. Does Ariana ever look straight ahead at anything? #RhetoricalQuestion.
Scheana Marie ditched Shay (and his sobriety) to meet Kristen and Jax Taylor for drinks. The topic of conversation is naturally the upcoming Tom 1/Jax birthday trip to Hawaii, which Kristen reallyreallyreally wants to attend even though Tom is exnaying the ex-girlfriend presence. Jax, however, only has balls for Lala Kent, and therefore can’t expend any resources breaking the news to Kristen that she won’t be Waikiking. I still don’t understand why Kristen would even want to come where she’s not wanted, but then I remember it’s Kristen and that’s like her schtick. Stalking and Harassing are probably her top two interests on her Tinder Profile.
Kristen and Scheana are BFF now, which figures. #DeserveEachOther. Scheana is stabbing Ariana in the back left and right – she might as well stab Ariana in the ass with a tattoo gun that only does really gnarly and embarrassing tats. Like Ariana or not, Scheana’s behavior is shady.
I also don’t get this newfound Kristen-love that Scheana and Katie are afflicted with. I completely understand forgiving a friend and deciding to continue your friendship. What I do not understand is why Tom and Ariana are expected to be besties with Kristen and vacation with her. FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY! The worst is their so-called friends being pissed that they don’t want to. That seems a little immature, no?
Wouldn’t a real friend simply explain to Kristen that it will probably forever be awkward and that’s that. I sure as hell don’t want to vacation with my crazy ex – even if he IS reformed. Even though we DO still share some mutual friends! But of course Scheana is the most vapid, self-obsessed person alive whose apartment is an homage to herself and gives me the Dorian Grey heebie-jeebies.
Honestly – they are acting like this is the last time Bravo is gonna hand out free trips to Hawaii. It’s not that serious people. And yes, I know Kristen will snap, and cause all kindsa drama with Tom 1 and Ariana, thus proving her ‘transformation to sane person’ wasn’t real, and we’re all wanting to see that, but don’t worry – Jax gets arrested! So, Kristen, why subject yourself to being a made a fool of? Not worth it girl.
Since Jax has sneak-invited Lala on this little drinks jaunt, Kristen playacts like she’s cool with Lala but is so clearly not. Oh, what’s this now? Kristen doesn’t want to be FRIENDS with the gal currently dating her ex-boyfriend James Kennedy? Oh, she doesn’t? Even though Lala makes it explicitly clear to Jax Kristen that she hasn’t slept with James.
The drunker everyone gets the more handsy-feely-flirty-nauseating Jax and Lala become, and the more judgey and pissy Scheana and Kristen become. These gals seem so threatened by Lala! It’s hard to watch some youngin encroach upon Jax’s STD saddle. VOMIT. The icing on the cake is when Jax invites Lala to Hawaii, while Kristne’s invite is still “pending approval” [code words for “Access Denied”].
Poor Kristen – she doesn’t want Lala stealing Jax’s attention, but she totally doesn’t mind if Lala takes over her “Skank Of The Year” title!
Katie and Scheana have decided Kristen is this supremely amazing person they visit her new apartment to trash talk Ariana and blame her for Tom 1 banning Kristen from Hawaii. Honestly – Scheana should be forced to listen to Stassi Schroeder demand a pinot grigio for at least 100 years. Then Scheana would understand how I feel whenever she appears on my TV. Scheana is an atrocious friend, terrible to Shay, and her apartment is Hoarders for Narcissists.
In more pleasant news, Tom 2 wants Lisa Vanderpump‘s approval before proposing, so he treks Villa Rosa to practice his spiel. When he finally shows Lisa the rock, she’s aghast that Tom 2 has committed to something other than male modeling and Tom 1. Ditto, Vanderpump. Ditto.
Tom 1 is the only other person privy to Tom 2′s plan. In a heartfelt montage of their friendship the Toms reminisce about meeting through a Craigslist roommate ad and soulmating ever since, all the way into almost pseudo-adulting. They nearly come to tears reliving their many years together. I do have such a soft spot for the Toms and their friendship. I dunno why, but they melt my heart!
The next day at SUR, Tom 1 breaks a bottle of booze just as Lisa arrives. She pretends to chastise him, but it’s all a ruse to get the scoop on Tom 2‘s plans. Lisa and Tom whisper about what’s going down, and then Lisa quizzes Tom about the possibility of him popping the question to Ariana. Am I the only one who dreams of a Double Wedding between Tom 1 & Ariana, and Katie and Tom 2?
Poor Katie is confused by Tom 2′s many mixed signals. She interrupts Tom and Lisa’s powwow to ask Lisa how the Toms are doing with their LVP Sangria gig. Uh, the answer is not at all. “I just wish he’d commit to something!” sighs Katie. Little does she know. Little does she know.
One person is committing – Brittany Cartwright! Come hell or tequila-high Lala, Brittany is moving in with Jax. When she arrives in LA from Kentucky, Jax is about as excited to see her as he is a positive pregnancy test. He didn’t even take off work to help her move into his apartment! When Jax realizes Brittany’s car is filled with boxes, he started getting heart palpitations that it’s really happening. Inside those boxes: the tepid remains of Jax’s freedom and testosterone.
Watching from across the bar are James and Lala. Lala had no idea Jax and Brittany were serious and is shocked/disappointed to realize Brittany will be Jax’s LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND! Should have f–ked him while you had the chance! #FailedToGetItPoppinWithDaddy James, however, is ecstatic that “Kentucky Friend Chicken” fried Jax’s plan to sleep with Lala!
Lala and James gossip about Hawaii. James has decided to invite himself. And Lala has decided to wear nothing but a coconut – naked – to piss Jax off all week. Jax is grody. Lala and James are too. I need an antibacterial screen for my TV.
A week before this Hawaii trip Jax picks up his check from Lisa’s office and to request a last-minute week off for himself and 95 of his closet SUR friends. Why doesn’t Lisa just close the restaurant in honor of the national holiday that is Jax’s Birthday?!
Jax tries to sweeten Lisa up by telling her Max is attending the trip because he’s dating new server Faith. That has the opposite of intended effects – Lisa does not want her precious Max vacationing with Jax. Or getting his ass tattooed with a Tom. And that is because Lisa is a wise woman and loving mother. Nevertheless Lisa agrees to give them the time off IF they can get their shifts covered.
Later James notices the schedule has nearly everyone but him off for the week, he gets huffy and it turns into to a SheHulk moment. Lisa, standing guard, reminds James that he doesn’t even LIKE Jax (or Tom 1), which is why he wasn’t even invited on the trip, plus he’s supposed to be upfront busing tables.
James, being a by-product of Kristen, decides that invites are irrelevant because he’s inviting himself if he has to hide under Lala’s skirt and sneak onto the plane. Again, the question, why would you WANT to go on a trip where you are clearly NOT invited? No one wants to see your pasty, shirtless self temper-tantruming around Hawaii, James. Accept it.
Lala and Faith have become friends, which is unfortunate for Faith because Lala confesses to touching James‘ “pee pee.” Apparently as soon as it became clear that Jax was indisposed due to Brittany’s permanent presence, Lala got quite conveniently cosy with James. Faith wonders how Lala can find James attractive. Don’t we all…
I have a serious question, though: who in the hell wants to make out with Lala’s Janet Jackson circa 1995 lipliner? I ask because apparently everyone at SUR is jonesing over Tequila Lala and her alter-ego the Fake-Out Pee Pee Touching Rule Breaker. But Lala’s makeup is so bad. When Lala was talking to Faith she looked so pretty and fresh without those over-drawn lips and eyebrows. It’s so odd – Lala is young, but she dresses, makeups, and talks like the Mean Girls ‘cool mom’ – you know, like when your mom (or Kyle Richards) says ‘On fleek’. I shudder whenever I mentally re-hear Lala saying, “Let’s get it popping daddy.” #NEVERFORGET
Finally it’s the big day. Tom 2 starts with a confidence-boosting pep talk from Tom 1, who also helps him choose the perfect proposal outfit. These two…
The ruse is it’s Tom 1′s birthday dinner, which everyone must dress up for, and once entrees are cleared Tom 2 will propose. Over dinner Tom is literally having a panic attack: sweating, gasping for breath, whining that his vest is too tight, fanning himself. Only Tom 1 was aware of his severe distress. I imagine he disarmed a tranquilizer gun into Tom 2’s leg from under the table.
Finally the moment arrives. And there’s a twist! Tom 2 hired another another couple to do a mock proposal across the restaurant as a distraction, in the middle of it, Tom 2 saunters over and snatches the ring box, walks over to Katie, gets down on one knee and pops the question. It was a fabulous moment and genuinely surprising for everyone else.
Of course Katie says yes! So, Congratulations! You got ringed.
Everyone is ecstatic to have witnessed the beautiful moment. The ring is gorgeous – it’s so unique. However it was tinged with a little irony; Katie, days before, was talking mad shit about Tom 1 about what an immature shitty friend he is and how she wasn’t sure she could be around someone who holds grudges. Yet here was Tom 1, the most supportive of Tom 2‘s proposal process, who helped him plan it from the very beginning, and was genuinely happy for his friends.
Vanderpump Rules and Bad Friends – it’s a tale as old as time. At least the Toms keep it 100!
TELL US – ARE YOU SURPRISED TOM 2 FINALLY POPPED THE QUESTION? WILL JAX AND BRITTANY LAST? SHOULD TOM AND ARIANA GET OVER KRISTEN OR IS EVERYONE ELSE BEING SHITTY FRIENDS?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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