Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Bruno Mars' Carpool Karaoke Is Filled With Costume Changes, ''Wine and Wet Wipes'' and Sexy Dance Moves

Bruno Mars, Carpool KaraokeTalk about a magical ride! Bruno Mars just hopped into the passenger seat of James Corden's car and took us on a funky journey through some of his greatest hits, including "Locked...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815753/bruno-mars-carpool-karaoke-is-filled-with-costume-changes-wine-and-wet-wipes-and-sexy-dance-moves?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

'The Voice' crowns Sundance Head winner over runner-up Billy Gilman



The Voice has crowned Sundance Head its new winner over Season 11's initial frontrunner Billy Gilman.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-voice-crowns-sundance-head-winner-over-runner-up-billy-gilman-21070.php

Who Won The Voice Season 11?

The Voice, Season 11, Final 4What a season! The Voice season 11 has just come to an end, and congratulations are in order to the show's newest winner, Sundance Head! The 37 year-old soul-country crooner...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815726/who-won-the-voice-season-11?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

At last, a 125-year-old mystery about Van Gogh is solved

Watch a researcher uncover evidence that solves a mystery that's eluded experts for more than 125 years: What happened to Vincent Van Gogh's ear? Read this story »

from reality blurred https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2016/12/van-goghs-ear-mystery-solved/

The Evolution of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Party

Real Housewives of Beverly HillsFor every new Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast members, there are a few rites of passage before they're truly a part of the sisterhood of traveling maxi dresses. One must zero in on a...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815688/the-evolution-of-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-party?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Today’s Tea: Gossip And Reality TV Listings

lamar odom

 

LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 30: Lamar Odom attends a basketball game between the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on March 30, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Noel Vasquez/GC Images)

Piers Morgan should keep his thoughts to himself sometimes – Dlisted

The Brangelina custody battle is messy – Celebitchy

Lamar Odom is back in rehab by choice – Starcasm

Flip or Flop will be a lot more interesting now! – Dlisted

 

Tuesday, December 13

8 PM EST –
The Voice (NBC) – special
Chopped Junior (Food Network)
Bad Girls Club (Oxygen) – reunion
Little People, Big World (TLC)
Ricky Smiley For Real (TVOne)

9 PM EST –
The Voice (NBC) – finale
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo)
Dance Moms (Lifetime)
Last Squad Standing (Oxygen)
Outdaughtered (TLC)

10 PM EST –
Leah Remini: Scientolgy (A&E)
Ladies of London (Bravo)
Chopped (Food Network)
Kate Plus 8 (TLC)

11 PM EST –
WWHL (Bravo) – Julie Chen and Lisa Rinna

Photo Credit: Noel Vazquez/GC Images/Getty

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The post Today’s Tea: Gossip And Reality TV Listings appeared first on Reality Tea.



from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/13/todays-tea-gossip-reality-tv-listings/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=todays-tea-gossip-reality-tv-listings

Vanessa Bayer is No Match for Modern Family's Claire and Gloria in New Sneak Peek

Modern Family, Julie Bowen, Sofia VergaraIt's time to dance on Modern Family, which means it's also time for all the Pritchett-Dunphy adults to try their hand at chaperoning. In tomorrow night's new episode, Luke...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815692/vanessa-bayer-is-no-match-for-modern-family-s-claire-and-gloria-in-new-sneak-peek?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Mariah Carey and Beyonce and their kids pose for group photo



Mariah Carey and Beyonce introduced their children over the weekend.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/mariah-carey-and-beyonce-and-their-kids-pose-for-group-photo-1051748.php

Phaedra Parks ‘Happy’ To Be ‘Violated’ By Shemar Moore; Says Kandi And Mama Joyce Are Obsessed With Her

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13202 -- Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13202 -- Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

If you tuned in for Watch What Happens Live the other night, then you were witness to the Phaedra Parks smoochfest with actor Shemar Moore. While she was in NYC doing press for Real Housewives of Atlanta, she addressed the WWHL kisses and so much more, including her take on Mama Joyce‘s behavior and reconciling with Kenya Moore!

On her steamy encounter with Shemar, “Oh my gosh! I kissed him more than…hmmm. Yeah, it was quite a lot of kissing…. My lips haven’t…. I felt like I had been violated, but I was happy for the violation! Girl, he gave me life… this man kissed me on the lips!”

Phaedra explained to NBC’s New York Live that the bomb threat was a miscommunication. “I wasn’t there, I was at the DNC, I was speaking. I was a surrogate for the Democratic party this year, so I wasn’t in town, thank god. But, it really wasn’t… the word bomb was used, which pretty much put the whole bomb scare in place. You know, with the current situation with bombs, any time you say bomb, it turns into something else. That wasn’t the case…. A misunderstanding, miscommunication.”

RELATED: PHAEDRA EXPLAINS WHY SHE ASKED KENYA TO HELP WITH HER CAMP

On Kandi and Mama Joyce’s meddling in her business she says they are obsessed, “Oh, they’re obsessed with me! Of course [Kandi is behind Mama Joyce’s meddling]… does your mom hang out with your friends and meddle in everyone’s business? I think not…. I think [the relationship with Kandi] is over. Obviously things have happened and you know, it’s gotten really bad, and it’s went way too far. When you’re a friend of mine, if the friendship ends, that’s when I end all talking and conversation about you. However, you know she’s basically been on a smear campaign against me… it’s unfortunate, but it is what it is.”

Phaedra credits the man upstairs for her new friendship with Kenya: “Jesus fixed it! We took a trip together to her home state of Michigan, where I was doing a camp for my foundation for the children affected by the Flint water crisis and so I did this two week the spend the night camp for children there. And it was awesome and she came for a few days to help me out and it allowed us the opportunity to be away from the petty girls in Atlanta and from the nonsense and so we made a truce that we would try to find peace and you know, just get along. And so, we… so far so good!”

Below are a few photos from Phaedra‘s flirty appearance with Shemar on WWHL.

TELL US – DO YOU THINK ANYTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM AFTER WWHL THAT NIGHT? DO YOU THINK KANDI AND MAMA JOYCE NEED TO BUTT OUT OF PHAEDRA’S BUSINESS?

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13202 -- Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE — Episode 13202 — Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore — (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13202 -- Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE — Episode 13202 — Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore — (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Episode 13202 -- Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE — Episode 13202 — Pictured: (l-r) Phaedra Parks, Shemar Moore — (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

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The post Phaedra Parks ‘Happy’ To Be ‘Violated’ By Shemar Moore; Says Kandi And Mama Joyce Are Obsessed With Her appeared first on Reality Tea.



from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/13/phaedra-parks-happy-violated-shemar-moore-says-kandi-mama-joyce-obsessed/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=phaedra-parks-happy-violated-shemar-moore-says-kandi-mama-joyce-obsessed

'Vanderpump Rules' star Lala Kent quits mid-season: They don't deserve to be in my world and I'm not dating a married man!



Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent has announced she's leaving the Bravo reality series and her love life apparently plays a role in her decision.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/vanderpump-rules-star-lala-kent-quits-mid-season-they-dont-deserve-be-in-my-world-and-im-not-dating-married-man%21-21069.php

Billy Gilman -- 6 things to know about 'The Voice' finalist



Billy Gilman -- 6 things to know about The Voice finalist competing on Season 11.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/billy-gilman----6-things-know-about-the-voice-finalist--21068.php

Erika Girardi Is Excited To Be Back For Another Season Of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Erika Girardi blog

Erika Girardi blog

In all honesty, pretty much nothing happened during the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere episode. Sure, Lisa Vanderpump took every dig she could at Lisa Rinna, but there were no other plot lines for the most part. Aside from dissecting Dorit Kemsley‘s questionable accent, the only highlight of the episode was Erika Girardi‘s birthday party.

The episode was light and fun. I still wanted more, but at this point, I will pretty much take anything over the depressing and repetitive Season 6. Last year, Erika was the new girl, and Yolanda Foster ally who got caught up in the fray by sticking up for her good friend whenever she could. I’m happy by the prospect of a Lyme-free season. Thankfully, this season seems a lot better and Erika is looking forward to it as well.

CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE!

At this point, Erika is my favorite cast member on the show. She is the only one who manages to be interesting without being a shit stirrer. At the same time, Erika is not afraid to stand up for herself or others, so I am excited to watch her put Dorit in her place, but still Erika is super nice.

With that said, Erika’s first blog of the season was just that: super nice. She really didn’t have much to say. And I feel like she just feels happy and blessed to be a part of the show. At the same time, it’s nice to see a cast member who feels grateful to be on the show instead of the others who come off as entitled.

Erika wrote, “It feels great to be back for another season. And what a season it will be – with new faces, new places, and many new memories.” That one sentence already sounds a million times better than the annoyingness that was last season. Erika also talked about how it was great to see what the other ladies were up to and how good everyone looked, which was nice.

RELATED: Erika Girardi Reacts To Yolanda Hadid’s Exit From RHOBH

One sweet moment that Erika mentioned was when her husband Tom Girardi revealed her final birthday surprise, a visit from her mother, “My husband Tom flying my mom in from Atlanta was truly special. It was very unexpected. I was glad that my mom was finally able to meet all of the women, and I could not be happier than to have her here to celebrate this very special night with us.”

Thankfully, Erika did say, “This is going to be a great season, so stay tuned.” Let’s hope so.

Tonight on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Erika auditions dancers for her “Xxpensive” music video. Lisa Vanderpump lets Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna know exactly where they stand at Dorit Kemsley‘s birthday party.

TELL US – DID YOU ENJOY THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SEASON?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

The post Erika Girardi Is Excited To Be Back For Another Season Of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills appeared first on Reality Tea.



from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/13/erika-girardi-excited-back-another-season-real-housewives-beverly-hills/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=erika-girardi-excited-back-another-season-real-housewives-beverly-hills

Vanderpump Rules' Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz Talk Lala Kent Drama and Marriage

Katie Maloney, Tom Schwartz, Watch What Happens LiveVanderpump Rules stars Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz are getting acclimated to married life. The couple opened up to E! News' Zuri Hall and shared that being together in an official...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815640/vanderpump-rules-katie-maloney-and-tom-schwartz-talk-lala-kent-drama-and-marriage?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Sundance Head -- 6 things to know about 'The Voice' finalist



Sundance Head -- 6 things to know about The Voice finalist competing on Season 11.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/sundance-head----6-things-know-about-the-voice-finalist--21067.php

Lala Kent Isn't the First: Look Back on Vanderpump Rules' Exiting Cast Members

Vanderpump RulesIt's all sexy and unique until someone leaves SUR. While it's yet to go down on Vanderpump Rules, hostess Lala Kent confirmed to E! News that she quit the show as well as the...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/812284/james-kennedy-isn-t-alone-a-history-of-vanderpump-rules-fired-cast-members?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Photos – Sonja Morgan, Porsha Williams, Dolores Catania, Kyle Richards And More

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 08: (L-R) Siggy Flicker, President at Musicians On Call Pete Griffin, and Dolores Catania attend the Musicians On Call Deck The Halls Holiday Sweater Party at Kola House on December 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Donald Bowers/Getty Images for Pepsi)

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 08: (L-R) Siggy Flicker, President at Musicians On Call Pete Griffin, and Dolores Catania attend the Musicians On Call Deck The Halls Holiday Sweater Party at Kola House on December 8, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Donald Bowers/Getty Images for Pepsi)

In today’s reality TV star roundup we have the stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey out and about as well as the ladies of Real Housewives of New York, Beverly Hills, Atlanta, and more!

Kyle Richards, Snooki, and Porsha Williams did some press for the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice. It kicks off in January and we cannot wait!

Siggy Flicker and Dolores Catania attended the Musicians On Call Deck The Halls Holiday Sweater Party at Kola House. Dolores has been enjoying several nights out recently – see her different looks in the gallery below.

Ramona Singer was a social butterfly this week and was spotted at a few different events. Sonja Morgan glammed it up for the Celebrity Page and Bagatelle New York Holiday Party.

Lisa Vanderpump launched Vanderpump Pets at Petco in NYC.

See all of these photos and more below!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE PICS!

 

Photo Credit: Donald Bowers/Getty Images for Pepsi

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The post Photos – Sonja Morgan, Porsha Williams, Dolores Catania, Kyle Richards And More appeared first on Reality Tea.



from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/13/photos-sonja-morgan-porsha-williams-dolores-catania-kyle-richards/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=photos-sonja-morgan-porsha-williams-dolores-catania-kyle-richards

Lala Kent Is Leaving Vanderpump Rules

Lala Kent, Vanderpump RulesIt's time to say ta-ta to Lala. Lala Kent is leaving Vanderpump Rules and her position as hostess at SUR after less than two seasons on the Bravo reality show, E! News has confirmed....


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815528/lala-kent-is-leaving-vanderpump-rules?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Tinsley Mortimer Wants To Use Real Housewives To Rebrand Herself; Dorinda Medley Uses RHONY Exposure For Charity

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 15: Tinsley Mortimer attends the 2016 Whitney Art Party at The Whitney Museum of American Art on November 15, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Stewart/WireImage)

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 15: Tinsley Mortimer attends the 2016 Whitney Art Party at The Whitney Museum of American Art on November 15, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Stewart/WireImage)

Unless you’re someone who follows the ups and downs of the New York City social scene, you probably have no idea who Tinsley Mortimer is. If that’s the case, then you’re about to since Tinsley reportedly joined the cast of Real Housewives of New York. Whether you are familiar with her or not, apparently Tinsley wants the reality show to help her rehabilitate her image. And on the opposite end of things, instead of using the show to make her look better, Dorinda Medley is capitalizing on the show’s platform to do better.

Well, yes, I’m sure you can argue that there is a certain amount of good PR that comes with most charity contributions, so I guess Dorinda’s latest move is up for interpretation, but you can decide for yourself. Either way, both Dorinda and the new girl are pushing for a positive association with their names and reality TV.

CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE

Like I said before, this woman Tinsley is not a full blown celebrity (yet), but now that she’s a part of this reality TV franchise, you bet that all of the skeletons are bursting out of her closet. Plus, there’s no chance that Bravo would ever cast her on this show if she didn’t have a colorful past. She has a wealthy ex husband (Topper Mortimer), of course and on top of that she has an apparently scandalous recent relationship with Alexander “Nico” Fanjul, who was described in Page Six as a “sugar heir.”

RELATED: IS DORINDA GETTING MARRIED?

Not only that, but the article claims that Tinsley is using the show to plot her personal comeback. Aside from that it is mentioned that the relationship with Nico Fanjul was allegedly abusive and that this man’s mom counters that claim by referring to Tinsley as “insane.” It already sounds like Tinsley has more to offer the show than Carole Radziwill did last season.

And in other Real Housewives of New York news, Dorinda is contributing to charity by auctioning off a night in the Berkshires and a dinner with Dorinda to benefit Beauty for Freedom. Unfortunately this prize is not for the winner to stay the night at Dorinda’s house which would have been dope, but she is set to be present at the dinner. The winner is allowed to take one photo, have one item signed, and can have one other person present. This is something that I would love to see filmed for the show so hopefully someone bids on this time in the Berkshires to benefit the organization.

TELL US- ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TINSLEY TO BE ON RHONY?

[Photo Credit:  Michael Stewart/WireImage/Getty Images]

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The post Tinsley Mortimer Wants To Use Real Housewives To Rebrand Herself; Dorinda Medley Uses RHONY Exposure For Charity appeared first on Reality Tea.



from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/13/tinsley-mortimer-wants-use-real-housewives-rebrand-dorinda-medley-uses-rhony-exposure-charity/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tinsley-mortimer-wants-use-real-housewives-rebrand-dorinda-medley-uses-rhony-exposure-charity

Millie Bobby Brown on Stranger Things' Golden Globes Love and Her Surprising Season 2 Wish

Millie Bobby BrownMillie Bobby Brown has one thing in mind for her Stranger Things character Eleven: Romeo Beckham. Brown was on hand to cohost the UNICEF 70th anniversary event and when asked what she...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815560/millie-bobby-brown-on-stranger-things-golden-globes-love-and-her-surprising-season-2-wish?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

'The Voice' finals: Sundance Head, Billy Gilman, We McDonald & Josh Gallagher debut original songs and sing hearts out



The Voice's penultimate episode featured Season 11's four finalists singing blow for blow in what turned out to be an epic night of performances, including original songs.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-voice-finals-sundance-head-billy-gilman-we-mcdonald-%26-josh-gallagher-debut-original-songs-and-sing-hearts-out-21064.php

Lamar Odom checks into rehab one year after drug overdose as divorce from Khloe Kardashian legally finalizes



Lamar Odom has reportedly checked into rehab to seek treatment.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/lamar-odom-checks-into-rehab-one-year-after-drug-overdose-as-divorce-from-khloe-kardashian-legally-finalizes-21065.php

Kanye West travels to New York and meets with President-elect Donald Trump after demanding discussion



Kanye West was on a mission to speak with the President-elect, Donald Trump, after his hospital release, and he succeeded.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/kanye-west-travels-new-york-and-meets-with-president-elect-donald-trump-after-demanding-discussion-21066.php

'The Bachelor' Nick Viall's 30 bachelorette entrances - See all the gorgeous gowns and crazy first impressions! (PHOTOS)



See photos of the Night 1 arrivals of all 30 of The Bachelor star Nick Viall's 30 bachelorettes, including their beautiful dresses and crazy entrances -- especially the 18th arrival!

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-bachelor-nick-viall-30-bachelorette-entrances---see-all-gorgeous-gowns-and-crazy-first-impressions%21-%28photos%29-21061.php

'The Voice' finals: Sundance Head, Billy Gilman, We McDonald & Josh Gallagher debut original songs and sing their hearts out



The Voice's penultimate episode featured Season 11's four finalists singing blow for blow in what turned out to be an epic night of performances, including original songs.

from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-voice-finals-sundance-head-billy-gilman-we-mcdonald-%26-josh-gallagher-debut-original-songs-and-sing-their-hearts-out-21064.php

Rejoice! Milo Ventimiglia's Abs (and More) Will Return on This Is Us--Get the Scoop on What's to Come

This Is UsThis Is Us is about to get real chaotic. The cast of everybody's favorite new show took some time out of their busy day of reacting to Golden Globe nominations to fill E! News in on...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815446/rejoice-milo-ventimiglia-s-abs-and-more-will-return-on-this-is-us-get-the-scoop-on-what-s-to-come?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Nickelodeon Nostalgia Alert: The Nick Box No. 2 Is Here and You Can Finally Have Your Own Shrine of the Silver Monkey

The Nick BoxIf you've always wanted your own Silver Monkey piece from Legends of the Hidden Temple, well, you're in luck. Nickeldeon's Nick Box No. 2 is just around the corner and it's filled...


from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/815351/nickelodeon-nostalgia-alert-the-nick-box-no-2-is-here-and-you-can-finally-have-your-own-shrine-of-the-silver-monkey?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews

Vanderpump Rules Recap: Pride and Glory

Vanderpump Rules recap

Vanderpump Rules recap

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules celebrated Pride, but it was far from the jubilant affair it usually is in light of the Orlando nightclub shooting, which happened the day before.

I’m not sure how to write this recap for a couple reasons: 1) there was a lot of the usual f-ked up SUR drama surrounding Pride and the tragic events; and 2) Tom Sandoval made his ugly cry face but it seems wrong to make fun of it because he was crying about the Orlando tragedy. Conundrum. I also feel bad swooning over how glorious Peter looked. (Cause he did).

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Things started off so normally, for SUR, at least. Lisa Vandeprump is passing out baby onesies and demanding her staff wear them, but she’s run into a problem – a plethora of so-called winter bodies. Which leaves her forced to overly rely on Ariana Madix to model what is literally – literally – a pair of panties held up with suspenders. No shirt. Is that legal under California law?

Ariana samples Pride uniforms

Ariana’s new duty was more than okay for Jax Taylor, who drooled over her ass and disgustingly reveals that if he could turn back time he’d f–k Ariana instead of Kristen Doute

Somewhere, Kristen stabbed the Ariana voodoo doll hidden in her chamomile tea box so many times that real-life Ariana lost 10 lbs of spandex and gained a sobbing, conniving Tom 1 as a lover. Well at least Ariana never f–ked Jax! God, he’s a cretin. Lisa tried to get Lala to model the Pride wares, but she coyly revealed that she wasn’t wearing underwear that day and then Katie Maloney‘s head exploded. Can a blob explode? Apparently only whores don’t wear underwear. Did we check Scheana Marie? Also, how pissy was Scheana that Lisa didn’t ask her to try on the uniform? HAHA!

Ariana and Tom are having issues, alas. Yes, finally – issues. The perfect couple facade cracked like an overly muddled ice cube. Well, for a minute at least. Tom 1 is butt-hurt because he’s like the world’s most perfect bartender – bartending is his passion! (That’s a thing that’s like in the realm of possibility? Is this Dr. Who world?), yet it is his ‘Grumpy Cat’ girlfriend who scored a deal to write a cocktail book.

Instead of supporting Ariana, Tom 1 was jealously and bitterly micromanaging. He’s so befuddled (like the too many lemon rinds crammed into the bottom of Jax’s soul) that he accidentally defends Lala Kent and claims Range Rover is giving them away for free. Oh, realllllly now? Which brings me to Scheana running interference on another Lala-centered gossip-fest.

Scheana and Katie

Ugh – can I just pull an Ariana and stop acknowledging Scheana? Can I? Would you mind? Would my professional reputation as a recapper extraordinaire evaporate? Yeah, probably, because she’s just so heinous it must be addressed. On tonight’s installment of Watch Scheana Suck, she continues to smirkily denigrate Lala for sleeping with a married man while judiciously gossiping that the wife of said married man was a friend of Lala’s and discovered the affair when she found sexts between Lala and said mystery man.

But aha! We have a clue in the case of Who In The World Is Lala’s Un or Married Man? He is perhaps a football player. Of professional stature. And also he really does not like hearing about the dramas of SUR and it’s disenfranchised over-ego’d SURvers. Or the status on their summer bodies.

Look – Lala’s relationship sounds hella fishy. Other than the ever-changing story of where her Range Rover comes from (Do we care? I don’t care!), she won’t even so much as mention the guy’s name, but can the people accusing her of being home wrecking, lying cheating whore have a little more credibility. Is it that hard? Cause c’mon – Scheana Marie of the I had an affair with Brandi Glanville’s hubs, Jax of the I’ve cheated on everyone and am a compulsive liar, and Kristen Doute of the lies and cheats and crazies just really isn’t selling the atrocity of Lala. Just me?

Anyway, Tom 1 and Ariana are the anointed ones chosen to meet Lala’s man at some given date in the future. No other information. That sounds a little like the set-up of Survivor, no? Like show up at a random place, with no information, sacrifice your identity and all possessions, and just wait… Is Lala dating Jesus? Donald Trump? Is he that famous?

Well, at least he has the good taste to dislike Katie!

Then Ariana creates a couple silent bartending films to promote her book. Apparently Tom 1 believes if he drops his pants that’s gonna sell mojitos – trust me, it won’t – then he micromanages the process trying to demand she call every drink something with ‘twist’ – this was after inviting himself to co-write the book. Poor Tom. The only twist was the one his panties were in.

Tom and Ariana argue

The next day, Tom and Ariana, still salty, meet Lala for lunch, and start arguing ferociously about how Tom will not get off Ariana’s professional junk. He’s jealous, cause it’s not fair! Tom wants a book deal too! Nothing Tom does ever works out! He couldn’t have a band! Or a modeling career! Or a T-shirt Line! And his statement necklace collection bombed! And he can’t even have a crazy girlfriend. Nothing good ever happens for Tom 1. Waaaaaahhh. Except for Tom 2. That good happened. But now Katie is taking him away in a tequila bottle.

Tom complains that Ariana is the sulkiest bartender who ever lived (true), whereas he is the most pleasant (aka unambitious), therefore he deserves a book deal. Um, Tom, before seeking a book deal, learn the definition of the word “supportive.” Ariana calls him a “Bitter Betty” while he rolls his eyes and pouts with his arms crossed. It’s hard being Tom 1. So hard.

It’s harder being Tom 2. And his d-ck won’t even get hard, either! Maybe it’s in a twist?

Oh, Stassi Schroeder was around last night. She came into SUR while Lala was hostessing and requested to sit in Katie’s section, which is conducive to winter bodies (I don’t even think “conducive” was the word she meant to use). In response, Lala didn’t take the bait, and deadpanned, “So three?” Poor Stassi – that didn’t seem to have the impact she hoped.

Stassi’s increasing lack of impact must be the reason she’s calcifying into a shell of the former amazing lack of humanity she once possessed, and is barnical-ing onto Katie.  Is it a chicken or the egg thing: is she attaching herself to Katie because she’s irrelevant, or is becoming irrelevant as the sloppy second to a sloppy second? Girl – once you were sharp point of a stiletto; now you’re the Payless wedge of a drunk sorority girl. Burns like the stuff allegedly on Jax’s junk, doesn’t it?

With her, Stassi hauled these two frozen-faced 45-year-old wannabe trophy wives masquerading as young and successful, who are Ashley Madisoning social climbing their way through the Hamptons, right into SUR, where over Pumptinis they brag about how amazing they allegedly are. The one who endlessly yammered about how her life revolves around renting a summer house in Montauk literally had a forehead so frozen it resembled enamel, and I was silently begging the Botched docs to burst through the doors of SUR to repair her Botox. These people are Stassi’s soulmates.

Stassi decides, since she’s amazing and the Hamptons are amazing, they were meant to be together for her annual birthday trip. So she invites herself to celebrate as a couch surfer. Then she also invites Scheana and Katie (who are not amazing), and they are in like, ‘Winter Bodies – no prob! Let’s do Montauk. Wait… where is that? It sounds like Thai food.’

Finally, Lisa wanders over and reminds Stassi they have food to-go. Like now. Ha. That’s awkward.

Even more awkward, however, was Brittany Cartwright explaining to Scheana that she couldn’t go on Stassi’s birthday trip because she’d already been invited to Ariana’s, which is being held at a NASCAR track. I think we all know that’s more Brittany’s scene – and Scheana’s. Scheana hadn’t even heard of Ariana’s birthday trip, let alone been invited, that stung took the forks right out of her napkin roll. Reap what you sow. Lie down in a mean girl’s clothes, wake up singed by the burn book you helped create! #FetchForLife

While they’re talking about the trips Lala is not invited on, she sauntered over with an offer to procure a private jet for their trip to Montauk. Katie was forced to stonily mumble that she’s never been on one of those, and then bitterly accuse Lala of being a prostitute behind her back. Cause only prostitutes are invited on private jets. Did LVP know that?

Then, real tragedy struck with the senseless Orlando Massacre, which happened the day before Pride. No one was feeling celebratory after that, but Lisa was there. Sheathed in red and ready to go to battle with her Alice In Wonderland Hat and a determined attitude.

pump-rules-after-orlando

Katie can’t face work. She’s frightened and depressed because even terrorist attacks must be ALL. ABOUT. KATIE. She gets dressed and walks over to Pride to tell Lisa she can’t stay, then goes home to drink cocktails with Stassi and the Toms. Tom 1 is in shock and  sobs uncontrollably about what happened. He’s extra emotional because he’s still fighting with Ariana over the cocktail book. Tom 2 consoles him with gin and cuddles. Ultimately, Tom decides to mannish up and go to SUR, to show his support.

Lala also calls into work because the idea of wearing pasties and a clown hat after the incident is revolting. But also because it’s not worth risking her life when she’s not even sure if her boyfriend loves her or not.

To make herself feel better, Lala goes over to James Kennedy‘s to ‘make music’ on his Fisher-Price keyboard and We Play Cassette Tape recorder. This sure to be hit will definitely have James playing Madison Square Gardens!

Or not, cause they’re both in a terrible funk. James because he didn’t get invited to Ariana’s birthday party, but Jax did; and Lala because her Mystery Man dumped her cause she can’t stop complaining about how she hates Katie. Eventually they stop talking and play with the voice changer option on the keyboard.

LVP at Pride

Meanwhile at SUR, Lisa decides to conquer everyone’s fear by riding in the Gay Pride Parade, despite concerns that there could be a follow-up incident to what happened in Miami.

And after Peter spent the morning stress-guzzling champagne, believing not a single soul would show up to work, Brittany forced Jax to put his big boy panties on and go tend bar, Tom 2 pried himself from the clutches of Katie (but not from his sweatpants and shower shoes) to check in on Tom 1 and Ariana at work. Ariana, overjoyed to see Tom 2, rubs a lemon rind on her buttcrack to put in his beer. That’s replaced the fist bump and cunnilingus as the official WeHo SUR hello.

Lisa is pleased so many people came out to stand in unity and is proud of her staff. Tom 1 tearfully thanks her for being an inspiration, and Jax offers the highest compliment his mind can fathom when says Lisa has “more balls” than he does. Turning away, Lisa wipes a tear of pride from her cheek.

Pride at SUR

Pride, indeed. Because despite the tragedy, SUR is packed with revelers, eager to bond in love and unity. The iciest thing in the room is Ariana, who is still understandably frigid towards Tom 1, especially since both of them admit to feeling like their argument is petty in light of what happened. Tom finally takes her outside to the alley behind SUR – where else?! – to apologize for being a jealous, unsupportive, ass.

I thought that was very “adulting” of him.  Ariana graciously accepts and reminds Tom that she loves him. All is well in the land of Pumptinis and Pomeranians, especially because James isn’t spinning the beat, which makes things march on.

TELL US – DID YOU FEEL BAD FOR TOM 1? SHOULD KATIE AND LALA HAVE GONE TO PRIDE? WILL WE EVER MEET LALA’S MAN?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

The post Vanderpump Rules Recap: Pride and Glory appeared first on Reality Tea.



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