Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

What an absolute dream come true. After 20 years on the air, and now into its 40th (!!!) Season, Survivor is back and is as good as ever. The nightmarish ugliness of Season 39 is but a distant memory, and all signs point to this season, “Survivor: Winners at War,” as being one of the best, most epic seasons of Survivor yet. It sure started off with a bang, and if you can’t keep up with the speed of the game, like Queen Sandra Diaz-Twine says, you need to just get out of the way.

Twenty previous winners have returned to compete in “Winners at War,” with a new Reality-TV record-prize of 2 million dollars waiting at the finish line. That’s a lot of money y’all. Perhaps of equal (or OK, lesser) overall importance, these winners are all placing their legacies on the line. Some that are thought of as the “greatest” may reveal – up against other winners – to be less than. While some “lesser” winners may end up truly being thought of as the greatest of all-time.

Some legacies have already began to shift, rise and slide following the first two-hour episode of Season 40, “Survivor: Winners at War.” And it’s a dream come true to be given the chance to continue to analyze and dissect this game that I love after all this time. So let’s do this, shall we?

As I do at the beginning of every recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s episode of Survivor: Winners at War. If you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap. It is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

I am so stoked to be back covering Survivor for RealityTea!!! It’s truly an honor. While this is a landmark anniversary season for the show itself, it also is for me personally: This is my 20th season covering Survivor. Like many of you Survivor die-hards out there, I’ve spent countless hours over the years talking, discussing and debating this amazing game, and I’ve dreamed of how cool it would be to see an all-winners season take place. Moving past the disappointment that legends like Richard Hatch and John Cochran were not included (nor was my personal fave, Survivor: Thailand winner Brian “Ice Man” Heidik), this first two-hour episode couldn’t have gone any better.

Like, did everyone love this start as much as I did? I had absolute goose-bumps watching these former winners arrive (and fall) onto the beach at the beginning of the episode, and like a trained poker player I was trying to study their faces. Man, did Boston Rob look…nervous? Adam Klein might have fainted with giddy excitement for just having been there. Wendell of course looked calm and collected, as he does. You could see many of them eyeballing each other. Many of them looked like they couldn’t believe this was happening.  Myself and the viewers couldn’t either.

But it didn’t take long for this game to begin, did it? What used to be a 39-day marathon has now morphed into a 39-day all-out sprint, where if you are unsure of yourself or your place in this game, you were going to be gone. Yul – another personal favorite of mine – referred to himself as a dinosaur that was time-warped into the future, but man he showed he still had his teeth when it came to the first challenge. Natalie too (more on her in a bit of course) showed her physicality, one of her best traits during her winning season. Boston Rob‘s dad-bod was a bit glaring at first, but this dude showed in every way why he is one of the all-time greats of the game and why they built a big statue of him out in Fiji. And speaking of big statues, that other one, Sandra, showed to many of the young viewers just why she’s Queen.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

I can’t quite find a fault in the first episode’s two-hours…it was pure fan-service in all the best possible ways. We as viewers are not used to watching a season of Survivor where there are no goats…where not one of these players will be “pulled through” to the end. There was an exciting, physical challenge right off the bat, followed by an incredible come-from-behind underdog victory at the second challenge. The first Tribal Council was so unpredictable, I think I had it narrowed down to seven of the ten players as to who would get their torch snuffed. The second vote-out will not only send ripple affects throughout the rest of the season, it will create a tsunami of epic proportions once Rob finds out what happened and who was responsible for voting out Amber. In-between, there were funny moments, intense strategy-talk, and every one of the 20 winners had at least some of the spotlight (some more than others) by the time it came to a close.

There’s so much to talk about that I’ll just pick one and go with it. I’m literally still shaking with excitement! But here’s one MAJOR theme I picked up on during this first two-hours that is sure to play out over the course of the season, and that is this idea of “new school” vs. “old school.” As we all know, the best Survivor players are those that have the ability to adapt. Nick Wilson during the episode eluded that he felt he had an advantage over the older players because the newer players are used to the new twists that get introduced in the game. He mentioned that the winner of this season might likely be the person who is able to correctly use the Fire Token currency. I think he may ultimately be right, and time will tell. But it was the old-school players who showed up much more than any of the new school players through these first two Tribal Councils.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Take Boston Rob and Parvati for example. Enemies the last time they played together, they instantly showed their ability not only to adapt, but to “reason.” Using reason and logic to influence the game? It’s the oldest of Survivor skills. By trying to work outside of what might be expected of them, they were able to forge a strong initial alliance, and most importantly, skirt past the first vote. Natalie on the other hand, fell back into an old alliance, the one she had with Jeremy during her winning season. Natalie felt comfortable with that old alliance, but that’s not forward-thinking enough to float, not on a season with such high-caliber players such as this.

As the game evolves, it seems like for every winning strategy, a counter-strategy eventually emerges. A few years back for example, during Game Changers, the idea of an “outside the game pre-alliance” was a big talking-point. As was pointed out, many of these Survivors have played the game together before. Not only that, they’ve forged friendships outside the game. They have done charity events together, celebrity appearances together. In the case of Rob, Amber, Tyson, Jeremy and Kim, they’ve played poker together. A few years back, a pre-game alliance might have been the leg-up that a player needed to really hit the ground running once the game started.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Not anymore. I too thought that players like Boston Rob would be at a great advantage to start this season, being not only that his wife is on the show too, but the fact that he is real friends with many of these contestants outside of the game. But as we learned with Yul and Sophie, it seems like it was way better to have come into this season NOT having any pre-existing friendships or alliances. The wild-card or the lone wolf might be the better equipped person to win this season. And for those that do have outside-of-the-game alliances, it seems like it’s going to be an almost impossible uphill battle to break-away from that stigma…even if they do have real intentions to forge new alliances within the game.

Legacies are on the line. Once of the most interesting aspects of this season to me was the legacies that each of these winners carried into the game with them, and how these legacies were set to change depending on what happens this season. If players like Boston Rob, or Sandra, or Parvati, were to be voted out first, I really don’t think it would have tainted their overall legacies. “They are way too big for the game,” people would say, or that they never stood a real chance to begin with. If a player like Sophie or Michele – both considered to be lower on the totem pole of overall winners – ended up winning “Winners at War,” they would not only become Survivor Legends in their own right, but depending on how they did it, might be catapulted into the “greatest of all-time” discussion, if not topping that list. It seems a bit unbelievable now, but in a few short months from now, that is exactly what might happen. And everyone in-between has something to prove as well.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

That’s why – in Episode 1 – it’s a bit sad for both Natalie and for Amber. Natalie was not able to move outside of her existing alliance with Jeremy, and at the very least wasn’t able to persuade any of the others that it should be Jeremy – a member of that “poker alliance” – over her. Her original win will never be diminished nor would it be fair to take anything away from any of these players’ winning seasons, but her overall legacy AMONG winners is definitely tarnished. She couldn’t hang with the big dogs. For Amber, it’s even a bit more upsetting. Her winning season has always been overshadowed and marred by the idea that Boston Rob really won that season for the two of them. Nobody thinks of Amber as an all-time great player, and she probably even ranks near the bottom when it comes to overall impressive winning seasons. This time out, she really had a lot to prove in terms of owning her own game independent of her legendary husband. Had she dominated this season, we all would have had a deeper respect for her legacy. But the fact that she was first out of her tribe, and that the speed of this new game really appeared to be too much for her, it just feeds that theory that she was a coattail rider the first time. The good news for both Amber and for Natalie is, their games are not over…far from it. Because everybody’s favorite (or is it least favorite???) twist, the Edge of Extinction is back, and along with the Fire Token twist, this is truly a whole new ballgame.

What do people think of the Fire Token twist, and how it relates to Edge of Extinction? I for one am seriously intrigued and think it adds a fun new strategic element to the game…as with all twists, I’ll reserve final judgment for a few weeks from now, but it seems promising now.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

I did find it very interesting that Sandra did decide to send Amber and not Kim or Tyson, to the Edge. Sandra in this episode receives the game’s first Immunity Idol, cashing in her one Fire Token for it after it was sent to her from the Edge by Natalie. Sandra guessed this to be true, but then might not have thought through her vote-out of Amber: If she knows that it is possible to gift advantages from the Edge to those still in the game, then why in the world would she send Amber there, knowing full-well that this will ultimately lead to Boston Rob being that much stronger in the game, with Amber potentially feeding him advantages? Further, she must know that Rob will seek revenge for those responsible, so in turn his power would be wielded against herself. It seemed like the better move to go for Kim, who carries a legacy coming into this season as perhaps the best female winner in the history of the game. Kim too, is showing that her overall legacy might take a hit…this amazing winner doesn’t seem to be able to get a foot-hold among these other players, and if she’s so good then why wasn’t she able to bend things in her favor, like Rob and Parvati did over at the other tribe? The good news for Kim is that she was not voted off, she’s every bit a part of this game, and she has just bought herself three more days to figure something else out.

It was also fascinating to see that last season’s “Island of the Idols” twist actually has a MAJOR impact on this season, in regards to the relationship between Sandra and Rob. Sandra says that Rob lied to her out there and didn’t reveal that he was actually going to be returning to play this season. As a result, Sandra felt bitter which in turn played into her decision to vote out Rob’s wife, Amber. What seemed like just an inconsequential – and forgettable, really – game twist, ends up completely shifting the landscape of this championship season of Survivor. Just stunning.

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Aside from Rob and Sandra, what do these Fire Tokens ultimately mean for the game? Will people begin to pool them together for advantages? Will connections with players on the Edge impact who gets voted off in-game? My mind is spinning with all the possibilities.

There are so many factors, so many layers of game-play, and so many fascinating characters this season, I’ve never been more excited to cover this show. Ever. I was pumped up more than ever before going into this Premiere Episode and now that it’s over, I have to admit I’m even more stoked, now that it matched and surpassed my already high-expectations. Did everybody else feel the same as me?

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Episode Take-Away: I think 2000+ words is good enough for now…I have SOOO much more I want to hit on and talk about, and each player brought something of value to this first episode. One stand-out to me was how Ben – who melted to Boston Rob‘s charisma – was in the middle of every conversation, and who had incredibly loose lips. But I’ll save what’s left for the comment section below. Please hit it up and let me know your take on Survivor’s 40th season! I read all the comments each and every week, and I look forward to making this an interactive and fun season.

I’m pleased once again to have the talented artist, Erik Reichenbach – who just so happens to be a two-time Survivor legend himself – contributing new, exclusive artwork to this column each and every week. You can view and even purchase his work at his website, Dabudoodles.com, and I urge you to check it out! Here’s his first piece for this season:

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

“Calmly Counting Fire Tokens”

Photo: ERIK REICHENBACH / WWW.DABUDOODLES.COM

As a new feature to this column this season, I’ll try to keep track of how many Fire Tokens each player has, and what advantages are where. Here you go:

FIRE TOKEN/ADVANTAGE TALLY

Boston Rob: 2 FT (Fire Tokens)

Jeremy: 2 FT

Everybody else: 1 FT

Sandra: 0 FT, 1 Immunity Idol (expires after 2 more Tribal Councils)

Amber: 0 FT

Voted Out This Week: Natalie, Amber

Won Immunity Challenge #1: Red Tribe

Won Immunity Challenge #2: Blue Tribe

Vote #1: No advantages or Idols played. 7 – Natalie (Adam, Denise, Ethan, Parvati, Ben, Danni, Rob), 2 – Denise (Natalie, Michele), 1 – Adam (Jeremy)

Vote #2: No advantages or Idols played. 6 – Amber (Nick, Sandra, Tyson, Wendell, Yul, Kim), 3 – Kim (Sophie, Tony, Sarah), 1 – Nick (Amber)

Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line

Next Week’s Episode: As anticipated, Boston Rob vows swift revenge. Ben seems to continue to have “loose lips” much to the chagrin of Adam, and Tony climbing up a tree on a makeshift bamboo ladder? Next Wednesday can’t get here fast enough.

Quick Note! I appreciate that you are reading this recap! Those that have followed me also know that I am also a RottenTomatoes-approved film critic, and I encourage you to check out my weekly movie reviews as I am the film critic and Executive Producer of the TV show, “Movie Show Plus,” the #1-rated local program in the Detroit-market (episodes are also available online at the website, www.MovieShowPlus.com.) As always, the easiest way to get all of my Survivor coverage and movie reviews is to follow me on Twitter – @tomsantilli – or on Facebook.

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS PREMIERE EPISODE? ARE YOU A FAN OF THE FIRE TOKEN AND EDGE OF EXTINCTION TWISTS? AND WHO IS YOUR PICK TO WIN AT SUCH AN EARLY STAGE IN THE GAME?

[Photo Credit: CBS/Monty Brinton/Robert Voets/Timothy Kuratek/Jeffrey Neira/Michele Crowe/David M. Russell]

The post Survivor Season 40 Premiere Episode Recap: ‘Winners At War,’ Legacies On The Line appeared first on Reality Tea.



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Survivor: Winners at War Premiere Sends Its First Major Players to Extinction

Survivor: Winners at WarAnd we're back! Survivor: Winners at War has begun, and it didn't waste a single second before getting the game started. In the first 10 minutes, we were reminded of the journeys...


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'Married at First Sight' recap: Zach refuses to move in with Mindy, Brandon disappears on Taylor, and Michael cries over "failing" marriage to Meka



Married at First Sight featured Zach Justice refusing to move into an apartment with Mindy Shiben, Brandon Reid going missing after his honeymoon with Taylor Dunklin, Michael Watson breaking down over his "failing" marriage, and Katie Conrad crying over lingering feelings for her ex-boyfriend during Wednesday night's Season 10 broadcast on Lifetime.

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The Masked Singer Unmasks Miss Monster

The Masked SingerBow down to the Queen of Funk. Chaka Khan was just revealed to have been masquerading as Miss Monster on The Masked Singer, joining Drew Carey and Lil Wayne in this season's hall of...


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The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Go To The Jersey Shore Tonight

Jennifer Aydin Real Housewives Of New Jersey

Jennifer Aydin Real Housewives Of New Jersey

“Gia Catania” has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Obviously, I’m getting way ahead of myself on this one since Gia Giudice and Frankie Catania aren’t even dating, but a Real Housewives of New Jersey fan can dream, can’t I?

On tonight’s Real Housewives of New Jersey episode, Dolores Catania’s son Frankie  takes Teresa Giudice’s daughter Gia to prom and I cannot even convey how happy this makes me, as a complete stranger who is just overly invested in the Giudice family.  Frank Catania, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Milania Giudice, and Nonno are all on hand for support (and to take a million photos) before Gia and Frankie head to the dance.

Prom isn’t the only big thing happening tonight though. We have another cast trip! And this time Frank, Joe Gorga, Joe Benigno, Evan Goldschneider, and Bill Aydin will be there. Joe Giudice will not be Skyping in (that I know of), but Teresa does spill some tea on their mariage. She tells the group that she found Joe’s spare cell phone that he used to communicate with another woman back when Gia was just three years old. HOW SHADY! He really is the husband of the century, right?

And she finally admits that Joe has cheated on her. As Melissa points out, this isn’t exactly news, but Teresa being honest about it for the first time in years sure is. Everyone else, even Jackie Goldschneider, seems to feel bad for Teresa, instead of poking fun at the situation, which Melissa tends to do during all Teresa-centered discussions.

 

RELATED: Check Out Photos Of Gia Giudice & Frankie Catania At Prom- Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Dolores Catania & More!

 

Margaret Josephs and Jennifer Aydin’s tension continues. As does Jennifer’s tension with Melissa, which is very much valid. I mean, Jennifer threw silverware at Melissa. But, truthfully, this is the best thing to happen to Melissa on this show in a while since it gives her something to talk about aside from Teresa. At least we don’t have to hear more about her fake storylines.

Of course, Danielle Staub isn’t invited to the Jersey Shore, but she is a hot topic of conversation. Again. Melissa is talking a big game about Danielle, but will she actually confront her? We shall see!

 

RELATED: Real Housewives Of New Jersey Star Dolores Catania’s Ex-Husband, Frank Catania, Will Require Surgery After A Bad Fall

 

Watch Real Housewives Of New Jersey tonight at 8 PM on Bravo. Comment throughout the episode on this post. Tweet us with your thoughts. Follow us on InstagramLike our page on Facebook. And make sure to check our site tomorrow for our Real Housewives Of New Jersey recap!

TELL US- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT JOE STANDING UP FOR MELISSA? SHOULD HE LET THE WOMEN RESOLVE THIS ON THEIR OWN? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE WAY JOE GIUDICE TALKS TO TERESA?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

The post The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Go To The Jersey Shore Tonight appeared first on Reality Tea.



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'90 Day Fiance' star Angela Deem's mother Glenda has passed away



90 Day Fiance star Angela Deem has shared that her mother, Glenda Faye Standridge, has sadly passed away at age 77.

from Reality TV World latest news stories https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/90-day-fiance-star-angela-deem-mother-glenda-has-passed-away--27240.php

90 Day Fiance Star Jay Smith Claims Tinder Scandal & Barbershop Bathroom Hookup Were Fake For A Storyline; Regrets Going On The Show

90 Day Fiance Star Jay Smith Regrets Going On The Show

If I’m being perfectly honest with myself and everyone reading this, two people I don’t miss from the 90 Day Fiance series are Ashley Martson and her estranged husband Jay Smith. I would like to consider myself a 90 Day fanatic but those two always rubbed me the wrong way.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I got turned off from their manufactured love story because so much happened that it was hard to keep up on the show, let alone in real-time. On screen, there was the fighting, the cheating, and the angry friends zipping off on mopeds after Ashley wouldn’t heed their warning (still my favorite part of their story). Off screen, they took on-again-off-again to the next level, plus there were some rumors Jay got a woman pregnant. And let’s not forget the oddly staged photoshoot of them seemingly in love, walking a horse around while they dressed up in Burger King crowns. Yep, I hate this couple, maybe more than any of the other 90 Day couples to grace our screens.

With everything I just listed, it kind of seems like Ashley and Jay lived for the drama they were creating, dare I say relished the whole thing. But even drama queens (and burger kings) have their limits.

In an interview with In Touch Weekly, Jay tells them that he regrets going on the show and says that his “life would be different” now if he never went on in the first place. Jay continues of his role in appearing on the show, “I had no part of it,” and “I feel like the show portrayed my relationship as a very toxic relationship, like I’m the bad person but [no] it wasn’t [accurate].”

 

RELATED: 90 Day Fiance Star Ashley Martson Reveals She & Jay Smith Got Back Together… And Split Again After Rumors Jay Got Someone Else Pregnant

 

Jay is dishing on everything, including those cheating claims, “The Tinder incident that happened, that was staged because without drama you don’t have a show,” he says. “The Tinder scandal, it was just an act so it was easy to move [past it] because you know, we just act on the TV and after … that was it.” He also claims that the woman-in-the-bathroom cheating scandal was set up and the guys in the barbershop were paid to be a part of it.

Jay maintains that he’s not a total trash husband by saying, “Not everything you want to just put out there like, knowing that it can ruin someone’s future,” referencing Ashley’s children. “So, I made the decision to take the blame because I don’t got kids. She got kids. I can take the blame I’m just a young kid I got my life ahead of me. So I keep that stuff to myself.” Sure, Jay.

 

RELATED: 90 Day Fiance: Ashley Martson Says Jay Smith Won’t Sign Divorce Papers & Wants Half Of Everything

 

So why is he saying all this now after all the episodes and the tell-alls and no one giving them attention anymore? According to Jay, it’s simply a matter of him being off probation now. Ashley had a response of her own for Jay: “I hope he moves on with his life to more productive things, instead of finding new ways to justify his past transgressions.”

Sounds like these two might be off for good.

 

RELATED: 90 Day Fiance Star Ashley Martson Attempts Damage Control; Admits Marrying Jay Smith Was A Mistake

 

TELL US- DO YOU THINK JAY IS TELLING THE TRUTH? DO YOU THINK HE AND ASHLEY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER?

[Photo Credit: TLC]

The post 90 Day Fiance Star Jay Smith Claims Tinder Scandal & Barbershop Bathroom Hookup Were Fake For A Storyline; Regrets Going On The Show appeared first on Reality Tea.



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The Real Housewives of New York City Season 12 Trailer Was Worth the Wait!

Luann de LessepsThe Real Housewives of New York City season 12 trailer is the most entertaining thing you'll watch all day! Bravo has gifted us our first look at RHONYC's new season, back Apr. 2,...


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'Married at First Sight' alum AJ Vollmoeller: Brandon Reid and I are kindred spirits, he's my spirit animal!



Married at First Sight alum AJ Vollmoeller feels he and Season 10 star Brandon Reid are kindred spirits and Brandon is his "spirit animal."

from Reality TV World latest news stories https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/married-at-first-sight-alum-aj-vollmoeller-brandon-reid-and-i-are-kindred-spirits-he-my-spirit-animal-27236.php

'Survivor' Showmance Couples Now: Which showmance couples are still together? Who split? Where are they now? (PHOTOS)



Survivor Showmance Couples Now: Which Survivor showmance couples are still together, and which showmances split and broke up?

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Your 2020 Guide to All the Renewed and Canceled TV Shows

New Amsterdam Season 2From Schitt's Creek to Shameless, there are many beloved TV shows taking their final bows in 2020. Goodbyes are never easy, even when they come with enough notice, like The CW's...


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Vanderpump Rules Recap: PRIDE and Glory

Vanderpump Rules Pride Lisa Vanderpump

Vanderpump Rules Pride Lisa Vanderpump

Last night Vanderpump Rules celebrated the annual SUR rite of passage: PRIDE!

In order to survive in this alternate universe known as Lisa Vanderpump Land, which at this point is indistinguishable from Lisa Frank Land (and one will equally find themselves trapperkeeper’d), one must dress up in rainbow paraphernalia, endure hours of Scheana Marie warbling “Solid Gold” on repeat, and have a hysterical selfish meltdown about their heterosexual relationships while ostensibly celebrating gay rights. This time, for the second year in a row, that prideful accomplishment goes to James Kennedy.

That’s right, bitches, the White Kanye is back and he came to lead his flock in verse and song of rage. And proving that James is here to resuscitate Vanderpump Rules he was even wearing a “Life Guard” man-tank with matching visor, like something out of a Ken Doll box.

I must say, it was NOT a triumphant return… more like a whimpering limp that illustrated all the the things that give me pause about James. But let me digress and spin my record, round-round, back to James in a minute.

Scheana Marie Vanderpump Rules

To prepare for the Pride parade, which will feature all the employees except for the most incompetent ones, Lisa hosts a sign making workshop at Villa Rosa. Scheana, who is turning more and more into a tragicomic parody of her former self by the day, is now the leader of the pack of SURvers. And the responsibility has gone to her empty head. Scheana’s like the girl who flunked 12th grade, and returned wizened, but not wiser. Scheana lives trapped in a snow-globe where Solid Gold plays all around her and she spins in a circle of wonderment at the alternative facts in her brain while glitter sprinkles all around her, shrouding her from seeing her own delusion. It is sad, and it is almost no longer funny. I said, “almost!”

RELATED – Katie Maloney Explains Why She Declared Kristen Doute Was “Cut” From The Group; Kristen Thinks Katie & Stassi Schroeder Used Her To Go After James Kennedy

While the young whippersnappers, including eager-beaver to finally have some indepdence Raquel Leviss, go outside to Sharpie some poster board, Lisa reminds Scheana that as the SUR elder she needs to be nicer to Dayna Kathan. Scheana’s hairs literally stand on end as she goes on a 15 minute long tirade about why she doesn’t like Dayna. Lisa posits that perhaps Scheana is jealous that Dayna is dating Scheana’s ‘best friend’ Max Boyens, which means he’s unavailable to be stalked and harassed by Scheana.

Dayna Kathan Vanderpump Rules

Scheana is NOT JEALOUS. Scheana repeats on a tangent, like a broken record, that she is not jealous. She’s not jealous! She’s not jealous! No, she’s just envious. NOT. JEALOUS. Just covetous. Envious that Dayna is as close to Max’s skin as an AppleWatch. Speaking of, Scheana only bought him that AppleWatch because they’re best friends. and she needed her BEST. FRIEND. to help her chart her ovulation calendar and menstural cycles and like remind her of when it’s time to go to the fertility specialist, and to monitor the stats of her hormones. I mean, totally just cause they’re BEST. FRIENDS! Lisa practically laughs in Scheana’s face at these excuses, then banishes her to the children’s table where Scheana sulks that she doesn’t have to like Dayna if she doesn’t want to! To prove that Scheana reallyreallyreally doesn’t care about Dayna she demands Raquel uninvited Dayna from a pre-PRIDE hair appointment where they were all going to be styled to look like Monster High dolls. Pun very much intended.

Then Ariana Madix walks in, looking very much like an adult, to have a very adult conversation with Lisa about the realities of living with depression in a world where it doesn’t make rational sense. Lisa suffered tremendously when she lost her brother and after moving Ariana has been struggling to even get out of bed after realizing that a change in address hasn’t changed her. She’s been suffering alone, because didn’t want to dump all her negativity onto Tom 1. Tom 1 truthfully would probably love to have all Ariana’s negativity and would even buy the negativity its own monogrammed purse, covered in crying eyes made out of sequins.

RELATED – Vanderpump Rules Recap: Old News

This would be a serious and important moment if it didn’t play out like a PSA for ‘Depression Happens: Even when you have it all, you can have depression too.’ Like a pharmaceutical commercial. And also if this conversation weren’t a staged machination to give Ariana a reason to return to working at SUR. Apparently SUR treats depression better than Zoloft, and if one tends bar there even 2 days a week there is a reason to live. On the contrary, I’m fairly certain Ariana became depressed working at SUR, where all dreams go to die. Especially the dreams where you become a functioning adult living in the real world, away from the highly stylized and curated world of reality TV. I do agree with Lisa that Ariana needs a job, and a place to go to help her feel a sense of purpose in life, but I might suggest a real job, or some volunteering. Not slinging over-priced pumptinis to the sounds of Scheana assaulting eardrums. Which is no different than being friends with Scheana actually.

Lala Kent Vanderpump Rules

Then there is some Lala Kent drama. James will be DJing at Tom Tom for Pride, and no one is excited by this turn of events. Especially not Lala, who is once again furious at James for breaking her vow of trust, I think we’re calling it PJ Code now. And what did James do this time? He posted a snarky (and fucking hilarious) tweet mocking Lala’s attempted feud with Fofty. I don’t get what the problem is … I mean Lala is embarrassed by James, but not herself? James has no standards of decorum yet Lala provoked Fofty and made Rand look like a fool? Baby girl, that’s called projecting and I’m super fucking tired of Hoopty-Hoedown Lauren trying to tell everyone how to live and behave from the backseat of mommy’s Range Rover. Honey, stick to making instructional videos about mile high club BJ’s and leave the motivational speeches to Oprah.

Of course when James spots Lala at Tom Tom, appropriating another culture she’s not part of (this time Drag), wearing a turquoise wig and full cape saying “Give Them The Lala,” he obsequiously apologizes for his insensitive tweet, and begs Lala to forgive him. Why? Why does James even want a friend like Lala? Who is self-righteous, shitty, and only uses James when she wants something – to feel better about herself, or make music. In exchange he has to endure endless lectures about how he’s living wrong and now about how her sobriety makes her able to forgive him while still judging him for not being sober. Um, isn’t part of AA to sponsor others? Of course James isn’t sober, but that’s not Lala’s business — especially since she says he’s not her friend and she doesn’t want him part of her life.

RELATED – Lala Kent Says Alcoholics Anonymous Saved Her Life

Yes,  James is floundering because he’s surrounded by ‘Yes, women’ who just want to keep him sedate, but if Lala cares so much she needs to stick around to be one of the “No Ma’am” he clearly needs. This is a recipe for disaster, and Raquel can’t do math.

Of course I was all TEAM JAMES here, but by the end of this episode I was back to being TEAM NO ONE. OK maybe Team Tom Tom because have Tom; have Love. Speaking of, those two got matching Liberace suits to wear in the parade and poor Katie Maloney was forced to cheers to being a perpetual broken wheel on the sidecar of the Toms everlasting bond while they showed off their twinsie outfit. I will admit I kind of loved Katie for just the brief second when she told Ariana they should get together in the afternoons to knit, because Katie is trying to keep herself active by crafting. Then we cut to a scene of Katie being too lazy to even pull one stitch. I can relate: I am a girl who loves the idea of a craft, but hates the actual craft. I’d rather buy a completed craft on Etsy and tell myself I made it.

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor

Anyhoodle, while most of the SURvers are off in the parade Danica Dow is stuck attempting to manage SUR which has Jax Taylor guest bartending to account for the people in the parade, but he’s basically refusing to actually work because of spite for not being given his own parade. The only time Jax actually showed any emotion is when Dayna introduced herself and called Scheana, Jax’s supposed friend, an immature bitch. Jax likes nothing better than having someone be considered as down in the gutter as he is. He also likes nothing more than a blonde in a crop top, but he’ll deny it on TV.

RELATED – Jax Taylor Dishes On “Thirsty” New Cast Members Joining Vanderpump Rules

Danica is in too big of a tizzy to worry about Jax, though, because SUR is also down one real manager (Peter who is parading), one bartender, one busser, one hostess, and one waitress… Raquel. Who ran off to Pride to watching the dregs of James‘ DJ set after he called her screaming and cursing for not ditching her job to observe his success. No James. NO. NO. NO. Also, No, Raquel. NO. NO. NO.

Vanderpump Rules James Kennedy

After his successful DJ set, and being sufficiently fawned over by Raquel, James struts over to Lisa so she can see him doing well. Of course James lies about being sober, and also lies that Raquel wasn’t supposed to be working at SUR instead of hanging out at Tom Tom. At least he was polite and nice to Katie – even ignoring her snarky dig about how she didn’t want him there. Ariana was kind, of course. Lisa doesn’t want to hear another song and dance – literally – from James about how well he’s doing, she wants action and she is here to remind him that she’s focused on his long-term health and wellness. James is disappointed, but just ask Ariana: if he wants to have the cake, he has to eat crow too.

After pretending she didn’t know she was working, Raquel scuttles over to SUR where Pride is winding down but Peter Madrigal’s fury burns just as hot as ever. Peter takes Raquel out by the dumpsters – where else – to give her the hard truth: She needs to pick a priority – her boyfriend or her job. This scene seemed so fake, like Raquel was told to act like S1 Stassi Schroeder; blowing off work with fake excuses and fake remorse. Raquel, wide-eyed, with the acting chops of a My Little Pony toy (only more plastic) pretended to be so so sorry while lying that she got confused after the parade ended. Were her ponytails too tight?. Peter’s performance deserved an Academy Award by comparison. Maybe Raquel is cracking under the pressure of babysitting White Kanye‘s ego while also managing her career as an Influencer of the baby voice trend?

Vanderpump Rules Scheana Marie

What doesn’t seem fake is the dressing down Dayna gave Scheana by those same dumpsters. Hot of the heels of yet another unsuccessful performance of ‘Solid Gold,’ Scheana pulls Dayna aside for another ‘talk’. Scheana, huffing on inhaler because she’s having a panic attack, starts crying over egg harvesting. In response Dayna lectures her about being immature. “Are you 34 or 16?!” she snaps; a hard reminder that Scheana is closer to middle age than she is youth. It seemed to be just the reality check Scheana needed to remember she is of drinking age and can handle her problems like an adult: by doing a shot together and deciding that even if you’re not friends you don’t have to obsess over hating another woman and can just be co-workers who sometimes share a laugh. And a man (I probably shouldn’t refer to Max as a man).

Also at least Scheana apologized!

RELATED – Stassi Schroeder Feels “Vindicated” Watching Scheana Marie Haze Dayna Kathan At SUR

Lastly based on the preview of next week’s episode where Jax and Brittany Cartwright‘s pastor is exposed for anti-gay sermons, it’s evident that Jax’s dismissive and disrespectful behavior at PRIDE was planting the seed that he’s also homophobic. I mean at this point, based on the comments he’s made about Ariana’s sexuality, it’s obvious, right?

TELL US – DO YOU BELIEVE SCHEANA WILL GIVE DAYNA ANOTHER CHANCE? IS JAMES A BAD INFLUENCE ON RAQUEL?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

The post Vanderpump Rules Recap: PRIDE and Glory appeared first on Reality Tea.



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