The Kennish/Vasquez clan said their goodbyes on tonight's series finale of Freeform's Switched at Birth, and it was both a beautiful ending and a beautiful beginning for the entire family....
If your life wasn't changed tonight by Major Lilywhite on teenage girl brain, then you clearly aren't watching iZombie correctly. In tonight's episode, Liv (Rose McIver) and...
Katy Perry lives for this attention – Dlisted
Simon Cowell tried to convince Mel B to leave her nutball husband – Celebitchy
This will probably cost him a pretty penny – The Blemish
Teen Mom 2 almost-star Courtland Rogers (Jenelle’s ex-husband) opens up about heroin addiction – Starcasm
Janet Jackson better hide her divorce money from her crazy family – Dlisted
8 PM EST –
The Voice (NBC)
Chopped Junior (Food Network)
Bad Girls Club (Oxygen)
The Manns (TV One)
9 PM EST –
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo) – reunion
Deadliest Catch (Discovery) – premiere
Little Women: LA (Lifetime)
The Challenge: Invasion of Champions (MTV)
Face Off (Syfy)
My Big Fat Fabulous Life (TLC)
10 PM EST –
Chopped (Food Network)
Stranded with a Million Dollars (MTV)
Chrisley Knows Best (USA)
11 PM EST –
WWHL (Bravo) – Bob Harper and Rachel Dratch
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Tuesday Night Tea – Link Love and Reality TV Schedule For April 11th appeared first on Reality Tea.
So the days of our dramas rage on with the first segment of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion.
Tonight continues the battle of the vajaynejayne as Erika Griradi and Dorit Kemsley (plus her plus one PK) discuss the minutia of pantygate. At this point I think they should all just call it even by joining a nudist colony. ENOUGH! Seriously – it is Eileen Davidson levels of obsession – and beyond.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST!
Erika is also forced to defend her ice queen persona, and she insists that she’s actually a very warm and loving girl… if she likes you or pays you!
RELATED – RHOBH Season Finale Recap: The Nutters
Once pantygate finally puts its puss away, Dorit still finds herself in the hotseat over her judgmental remarks and also her parenting style. Interesting… In more important matters – we really need to have a chat with Dorit about that thing she continuously puts atop her head. Is she hiding an alien antenna? A radio transmitter? A cranial goiter?
And then because on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills the feuds just never end, Lisa Vanderpump and Lisa Rinna rehash old issues, and old wounds are opened up between the Lisa’s and Eileen.
RELATED – Drama With Dorit Makes LVP Mistrust Lipsa Again!
Obviously this is just the first of a three-parter, followed by a Secrets Revealed episode. So the drama is far from over. Aren’t you just the saddest?!
TELL US – WILL ERIKA AND DORIT EVER GET OVER PANTYGATE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Begins Tonight – And PantyGate Rages On! appeared first on Reality Tea.
Love her or hate her, Terra Jole was the first detective on the case when it came to the shady doings of Briana Renee’s husband, Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer]. Although Terra aired her concerns in her typical bull in a china shop way, the Little Women: LA star was right on the money when she advised Briana against marrying the “Clyde” to her “Bonnie.” So, when Briana stood by her hideous excuse for a man over his sexting scandal last year, some were shocked. Not Terra, though.
Terra says that divorce is just not in the cards for this dysfunctional couple, no matter how nasty or manipulative Matt gets – and no matter how many empty protests Briana makes. “Not to be the bearer of bad news but NEWS FLASH: In my opinion, Briana will NEVER leave Matt,” claims Terra, who adds that Matt could basically have an affair right in front of her face – yet she would stay (and probably defend his lying a$$). Sadly, many viewers know this to be true. It’s just a sad sack situation all around.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR MORE!
Terra blogs in People, “My prediction is he could cheat on her in their own home and she would not leave him. She’s pushed everyone out of her life for him, so even if she wanted to leave him, she has nobody to turn to. Matt will leave Briana before she works up the courage to leave him. Good luck to Elena [Gant] and Jasmine [Sorge] getting involved.”
After Jasmine and Elena confronted Briana about their concerns that Matt was reaching out (in his very special way) to a friend of Briana’s over text, Briana shut their concerns down – and callously cut off her close friend, Lisa, immediately. Jasmine, once a huge Briana and Matt supporter, seems to have had enough of Briana’s antics at this point. Elena might not be far behind. Briana, who’s even cut off her own family for Matt’s sake – still refusing to allow them to meet her baby son – will be left isolated from everyone if she keeps this behavior up. Just as Matt would like it, no doubt.
Moving on to accusations that Briana went behind Terra’s back to hit up her manager for representation, Terra writes, “Personally, I think Briana is delusional, believing that she’s completely innocent in how she approached my manager. I’m at a weird standstill because, not only is this what Christy [McGinity Gibel] did to Briana, but everyone heard a different story than Briana did. Where I go from here, I do not know. All I know is I trust Briana as much as I trust Christy … and currently, I don’t think I’ll EVER trust Christy.”
RELATED: Terra Jole Talks Tension With Elena Gant, Her Husband’s Penis, & Her Book
“This episode has taught me that not only is Briana a hypocrite but she is selfish,” continues Terra. “She picks her version of the truth over a friend’s advice … and even over her own family’s advice. And lying to me about her conversation with my manager leads me further to believe I cannot trust her in every personal situation she encounters.”
Well, there may not be resolution in sight for these former friends, but one truth remains constant: We will NEVER get Matt off of our damn TV screens. (Oh, the humanity! Please, Lifetime, just make it stop! We are weary. Bone weary.)
“I’m so over Briana’s chaos with Matt! Two words: FAST FORWARD,” snarks Terra of last week’s episode. “Let’s sum up her home: Briana will never be happy unless Matt makes her happy, and Matt can’t make her happy. Yes, this is just my opinion, but we are watching a merry-go-round, are we not? The same problems keep circling back and the ride hasn’t changed. Well, I’ve gotten off this ride and I’m at a different amusement park.”
Tonight is an all new episode of LWLA, starting at 9/8 CST on Lifetime! Are you tuning in? Join us here to dish on the episode!
TELL US: WILL BRIANA EVER LEAVE MATT? DID BRIANA GO BEHIND TERRA’S BACK TO POACH HER MANAGER?
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Little Women: LA’s Terra Jole On Briana Renee’s Marriage: “She Will NEVER Leave Matt” appeared first on Reality Tea.
Talk about the writing on the wall. With the fate of his CBS sitcom up in the air following its January 30 season three finale, Matthew Perry has learned the very, very hard way that The...
The Man of Steel is coming back to National City! E! News can exclusively reveal that Tyler Hoechlin is officially returning to Supergirl for its season two finale! No story details are...
That's our girl! We're only a matter of weeks away from the premiere of Rachel Lindsay's season of The Bachelorette, and to help get you hyped, ABC aired the first promo...Without a doubt, Brittany Cartwright is the most lovable person on Vanderpump Rules. It’s kind of surprising that she fits in with this cast of characters, but she really does bring a much-needed sense of balance and kindness to a show that’s chock full of drama.
It could have been really awkward for Brittany to come on a show and join a group of friends that includes her boyfriend’s ex girlfriend, former hookups, and occasional enemies, but she somehow made it work and navigated the unique situation like a pro. Even so, Brittany (somehow) gets social media hate. Don’t worry about it though. Sure, Brittany seems like the nicest person on the planet, but she knows how to handle herself when needed.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE
Brittany talked to Stassi Schroeder on an episode of her Straight Up with Stassi podcast all about her transition from Kentucky to California and how she handles everything with such grace.
Stassi started off the interview by declaring, “This is the first person in my twenty eight years of existence, that I have found to be the kindest person that I’ve ever met without me thinking that there’s something behind it. It’s a really big deal because I don’t trust nice bitches.”
Brittany told Stassi, “I am pretty nice, but if you piss me off good enough, I have a different side.” Stassi wasn’t really buying that so she asked, “Really?” And Brittany admitted, “Only if it’s just like Jax [Taylor].” That’s totally understandable.
Brittany explained what it was like when she first moved to West Hollywood to live with Jax. She recalled, “Everybody was just super nice to me. Jax was like ‘SUR is hard. It’s a tough life’ and it was just really fun for me. It was a good transition. I was lucky enough that my boyfriend was already a part of this whole thing. That brought me close to this big group of friends.” Brittany is the only new girl who had a good start in the social world of SUR. Plus her boyfriend is beyond notorious, so the fact that everyone loves her really says a lot.
Actually, Jax wasn’t even Brittany’s actual “in” with the cast. Brittany revealed, “I met Katie [Maloney] before I met Jax and Katie was just sweet as can be to me from the get-go.” She also explained how she had to get her own impression of who people are instead of relying on others’ opinions: “When I met Kristen [Doute] for the first time, she was just so nice to me and you know once I started getting involved in all this, people would try to tell me things and say whatever about this person or that person. Then I meet everybody and I’m like ‘These people are awesome. I don’t think anything that you guys think.’ It’s not always the same as what people see on TV.”
Brittany also addressed the elephant in the room. It would be normal for Stassi (Jax’s ex) and Brittany (Jax’s current girlfriend) to not be friends, but they actually like each other a lot- obviously, since Brittany did go on Stassi’s podcast- but it is still unusual. Brittany recalled, “You were so nice to me when I met you and you were probably the person that I was most nervous to meet.” Stassi commented, “Well that makes sense,” but Brittany revealed, “We got along from the get-go.”
Brittany has said a few times that Scheana Marie is her closest friend in California, so I was pretty surprised when she admitted, “Scheana took a little bit of time to be on my good side, but once she was, we were so close.”
Although everyone on Vanderpump Rules loves Brittany, there are some people who don’t- which I do not understand at all. Even an angel like Brittany gets trolled on Instagram and Twitter. Stassi told Brittany, “I always wonder how you haven’t had a breakdown yet.”
Brittany explained why she has been able to keep herself together when it comes to the haters: “I love myself and I know my friends and family love me and I’m a huge part of their lives. If I was to not be myself or break down, it would affect a lot more people than just myself. That’s what I try to think of when people are horrible to me. And then I just delete them and block them.” And that is why I (and everyone else) loves Brittany. She’s confident, but not cocky or annoying.
Brittany declared, “I know who I am and I stick by who I am” and we all adore her for that. Jax is one lucky man.
RELATED: Kristen Doute Thinks Jax Taylor And Brittany Cartwright Are Ready For Kids!
TELL US- DO YOU THINK BRITTANY IS A GOOD ADDITION TO THE VANDERPUMP RULES CAST?
[Photo Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo]
The post Brittany Cartwright Shares First Impressions Of The Vanderpump Rules Cast appeared first on Reality Tea.
There may be more lies to tell after all. Big Little Lies author Liane Moriarty told Sydney Morning Herald she has been approached by producers of the HBO series about a sequel to the smash hit...
Radar Online obtained court documents that confirm Kandi is not going to let this thirsty former employee walk all over her. The document accuses the man of “intentionally malign Defendants’ reputation and harm their reputation and public persona through false and malicious accusations.”
Kandi believes that he purposely filed a lawsuit against her to coincide with filming the last Real Housewives of Atlanta season- especially since he had zero complaints against Kandi for months UNTIL FILMING BEGAN. That seems super suspect to me.
The post Kandi Burruss Sues Her Former Employee For Defamation After He Claims She Didn’t Pay Wages appeared first on Reality Tea.
Netflix's 13 Reasons Why contains tales of and depicts rape, bullying and suicide--all serious and heavy material in their own right. At the center of the series is Katherine Langford as...
This was a tough season of Vanderpump Rules for Scheana Marie . She returned to her original role as an outsider in the clique and she filed for divorce from Mike Shay. And now she has to relive it all in a three part reunion special.
Not only that, but Scheana is also discussing her new relationship with Robert Valletta and two times when Stassi Schroeder majorly offended her. And of course, she plugged her own solo project: an internet talk show.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE
Scheana had a lot to say during a recent interview on Bravo’s The Daily Dish podcast. I figured that Scheana and her new man would be her main story line next year, but that might not be happening since Scheana revealed, “He doesn’t want to be on the show.” I don’t blame him for that one. She added, “I mean it is going to be his decision one hundred percent. As of now, he’s not feeling it- at all. For good reasons. He’s never watched the show also.”
She also took the opportunity to shade Shay when she said, “He sees all of the negative press that came out about Shay and he doesn’t want that for himself, but the difference is Shay did shady shit and you’re not that type of person.” Even though Robert doesn’t want to be on Vanderpump Rules, Scheana admitted, “I do want to show how happy we are and how amazing he is, but at the same time I do want to keep him away from the show.” Yeah, otherwise her only story line is going to be feeling left out whenever Kristen Doute, Katie Maloney, and Stassi hang out and she’s not invited.
When she was discussing Shay’s awkward appearance at the reunion show, she couldn’t resist taking the opportunity to talk about her upcoming talk show. She said, “Now looking back, there were some things that he said that I’m like ‘I wish I would have said this when he said it,’ but later this month I have my own digital talk show.” She also said, “It’s gonna be called Scheananigans,” which I actually like, but I have a punny sense of humor.
She continued, “This is just such a great outlet for me because I’ll get to say all the things I didn’t get to say that day. When you’re filming the reunion, there’s so many emotions and things going on that you forget to say a lot of things. After I was just like ‘Oh my god. Why didn’t I say this?’ and now that I have this outlet to speak on, I’m really excited.”
Scheana declared, “We all deal with things differently on our show. I am a person that takes accountability and owns my shit so if I do or say something wrong I can admit it, whereas I think Katie and Stassi have a harder time with that. Swallowing their pride isn’t something they easily do so for them I think the season was hard.” God bless Scheana for actually sharing her opinion on this. I doubt that’s going to go well for her. I would be scared to death to go against that trio of friends- not that Kristen actually did anything wrong to Scheana, but obviously she’s going to side with Katie and Stassi. So it’s safe to assume that next season will also be a rough one for Scheana, especially if her boyfriend refuses to film.
Scheana revealed, “Stassi got so mad at me that I didn’t come to her defense the day that Shay and [Brian] Carter’s party aired, why would I do that? You treated me like shit. You were so mean to me. You ruined his party for me.” Yeah. That episode was a bad look- to put it mildly. From what I saw, I don’t blame Scheana for being upset about it.
Scheana had even more to say about that shit show of an episode: “Had Stassi or Katie gone on Twitter and just said, ‘Wow Scheana, just watched back the episode, looked like an asshole, just want to apologize again,’ even though we were cooled at the time it aired, you didn’t do that, so why am I going to go on Twitter and defend your terrible behavior when you can’t take accountability for it?” She also said, “They just don’t take accountability and they say that I play the victim, but I really don’t. That’s just like their go-to excuse.”
As a person who struggled with an eating disorder, Scheana took issue with Stassi using the word “anorexic” as a “compliment” to describe her body and Kristen’s. Scheana explained, “Those comments trigger a bad time for me and I don’t care that Kristen likes being called that. I don’t. I take strong offense to that and for Stassi to just be like ‘It was a joke,’ not everything is a joke- especially when you’re talking about a disease and something I struggled with.” Even though Stassi was trying to be nice, she was definitely insensitive with the word choice there. That’s for sure.
TELL US- DO YOU WANT TO SEE SCHEANA’S NEW BOYFRIEND ON THE NEXT SEASON OF VANDERPUMP RULES? DO YOU THINK SCHEANA WAS RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED BY STASSI AFTER THE POOL PARTY EPISODE AND THE ANOREXIC COMMENT?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Scheana Marie Says Stassi Schroeder & Katie Maloney Don’t Take Accountability! Will New Boyfriend Robert Valletta Appear On Vanderpump Rules? appeared first on Reality Tea.
Get ready for one hell of a finale, Imposters fans. After a twisty season full of double crosses and assumed identities, the Bravo scripted series is gearing up for one final high-wire...
Carpool Karaoke is going primetime--again. The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2017 is coming to CBS on Monday, May 22. In addition to Carpool Karaoke segments, including...
Just like plenty of other reality star kids who came before her, Lisa Rinna’s daughter Delilah Belle Hamlin is on her way to becoming a supermodel. It’s officially official: Lisa and Harry Hamlin’s daughter is now a signed model.
Lisa, Delilah, and Delilah’s new agency IMGmodels shared the big news on their Instagram accounts. Do we have the next Gigi Hadid or (pre-Pepsi debacle) Kendall Jenner on our hands?
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IMGmodels announced Delilah’s signing by posting a photo on Instagram with a no-frills caption: “NOW REPRESENTING: @delilahbelle!” Talk about short and to the point.
Before sharing the news herself, Delilah posted, “Life is a gift, wake up everyday and realize that.” More specifically, she later said, “So excited to announce that I have joined the IMG family!! Cant wait for what’s to come.” She also put up the same photo that IMG did with the caption “blowing kisses to everyone who has made my journey thus far so amazing.”
And of course, Lisa got her Kris Jenner on by sharing her joy over Delilah’s signing. Lisa wrote, “So proud of our Girl!!! Thank you @imgmodels and Thank you @wwd for a great article and Thank you @yutsai88 #proudparents#imgmodels.” She also put up another photo and said, “Love this shot @yutsai88 So excited for you @delilahbelle@imgmodels.” If only Rinna didn’t royally screw up any shot at friendship she had with Yolanda Hadid and maybe she could get some guidance on what it’s like to mother a supermodel, but apparently Rinna didn’t need that. Even though her mother is extremely polarizing (and highly hated on this season), there’s no denying that Delilah is a beauty.
RELATED: Lisa Rinna’s Daughter Delilah Belle Hamlin Gets Accepted To Her Top Choice College
TELL US – DO YOU THINK DELILAH HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME A SUPERMODEL?
[Photo Credit: David Crotty/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images]
The post Lisa Rinna’s Daughter Delilah Belle Hamlin Signs With IMGmodels appeared first on Reality Tea.
If you've ever wondered how many times a shocking, notorious crime can be written about, dramatized or otherwise delved into years--and sometimes decades--after the fact, the answer...
Your first look at Orange Is the New Black season five is here. Prepare yourselves, you may not find the answers you're looking for here. In the minute-long video, things pick up...Unlike a lot of reality TV stars who put a lot of effort into being interesting, Dorinda Medley is just naturally entertaining, at least in my opinion. She’s a little rough around the edges and always tells it like it is and I love it. Not only that, but she is a lady who never has any qualms sharing her opinions and I live for it.
With that said, Dorinda obviously had a lot to share about Sonja Morgan after she unleashed those drug accusations at the Real Housewives of New York reunion last year, Luann de Lesseps and her marriage to Tom D’Agostino, and even her thoughts on the new Housewife Tinsley Mortimer.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE
Dorinda did a great interview for Bravo’s The Daily Dish podcast and answered most of the questions that the super fans would want to know. So of course, there was a lot of Sonja talk- which kills me since I am a Sonja and Dorinda fan.
Dorinda stated, “Sonja and I were never friends before the show. I actually knew of Sonja because she was good friends with Ramona [Singer], but you know that saying ‘judge me by the people I avoid.'”
Dorinda continued, “For someone who has no basis to say something so dreadful and hurtful, to not only me, but to my family, was stunning. The good news is that when people ask me about it, I say ‘Consider the source.'” Oh damn. Dorinda wasn’t done though. Aside from revealing that Sonja never sent an apology text or any sort of follow-up communication after she unleashed those drug claims at the reunion, she really tore into Sonja.
Dorinda declared, “It’s a very funny thing. I really didn’t care because she’s just not credible. Sonja’s just not credible to me and we all know Sonja lives a Sonja life so to be saying things about me like that when she’s never even been out with me- I don’t hang out with Sonja. We’ve never even had a dinner together so I quite frankly didn’t take it seriously and kind of laughed it off.”
The campaign against Dorinda didn’t end at the reunion. Dorinda shared, “What hurt me more is she spent the next few months going to press, going to people in Facebook groups, going to anyone who would listen doing even further stuff. I actually invited her to the Berkshires for the summer and she didn’t even respond. I try to reach out. I try. I really am a person who doesn’t hold grudges. I just don’t think it’s healthy for me and she started spreading even bigger things like I’m broke, I’m a nobody, where did I come from?, I’m jealous, and I spent the whole summer listening and not even responding.”
She also teased how this feud is going to play out this season: “I think that’s what you’ll see in this season. It actually came to a halt. I actually said, ‘Please, Sonja, I’m asking you. Stop doing this. We don’t have to be friends, but stop it.’ And then I just finally said, ‘Now it’s time to cut the head off.'” This is going to be ugly to watch.
Dorinda also talked about the season in a more general sense: “It’s different. It’s not dark. It’s reactive. It’s emotional and I think you’re going to laugh very hard. There’s some very funny scenes. It’s like old school again which I like. We do some really interesting things. We go away a lot more which I think brings out the best and the worst of us.”
Next episode, we get to “meet” the new girl Tinsley Mortimer. As expected Dorinda had a lot to say about that, and it included some more shade directed at Sonja. She remarked, “She really ended up coming into her own. It takes a while. A. she’s younger. B. we’re not exactly an easy group and she had to get back into the swing of it moving back to New York. And she was living with Sonja which I think put her at a bit of a disadvantage because I think she felt she had to be incredibly loyal and correct to Sonja in the beginning.” What is with all of these Housewives shacking up with Sonja? First Luann and now Tinsley? How random that the woman whose home and finances has been questioned the most ends up taking in stray Housewives.
And of course, just like any other Real Housewives of New York conversation, Luann and Tom were discussed. She was asked if she felt like the newlyweds would go the distance and she said, “Absolutely. I’m hoping. Marriage is hard.” Poor Dorinda. She’s the one who introduced these two so I’m sure she’s going to get this question a lot. Sure, she made an effort to be optimistic, but they didn’t really give her much to work with. Dorinda said, “I think the fact that it was incredibly tough. They made it through. They kept it moving. They’re very happy. I’m hoping. What else could happen? The worse of it happened. She’s happy. I know it’s to some people’s nausea.” Umm, yeah. The brag session about the yacht, the penthouse, and the engagement got old real quick. Dorinda also revealed that she didn’t have high expectations for the setup, since she admitted, “I just thought they would have a couple drinks and a roll in the hay.” Same, Dorinda. Same. Same. Same.
TELL US- DO YOU BELIEVE SONJA’S CLAIMS ABOUT DORINDA’S ALLEGED DRUG USE? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON IN THAT FEUD?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Dorinda Medley Dishes On Sonja Morgan’s Drug Accusations, Luann de Lesseps’s Marriage, & New Cast Member Tinsley Mortimer appeared first on Reality Tea.
Rashad Jennings brought the tears to Dancing With the Stars. The football player and his dance partner Emma Slater did a contemporary dance to Katy Perry's "Unconditionally" for Most...On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)
One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!
So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
James was open-mouth shocked by Andy’s offer. Considering that he’s the World’s Greatest DJ – you’d think James would be used to such adulation and employment opportunities. Didn’t James spin at George Clooney’s wedding? Isn’t he on Justin Timberlake’s latest album? Didn’t he win a Grammy in the category of Best Interlude Outburst for “MORE PUMPTINI! [CLAP! CLAP! CLAP]” Hmph – well I guess Andy is a kind of a big deal.
On that note, and since he’s apparently recovered from his love affair with whiskey and emotional meltdowns, Lisa Vanderpump is considering bringing James back as DJ In Residence. A prestigious honor, no doubt. And obviously, another future opportunity to fire him. Well it’s all coming up roses for James… not so much for Lala!
Oh Lala… La-la-la-la-laaaaaLaaaaa! Whereforart thou Range Rover come? Is it from he? Or ye mommy? Or perhaps modeling?
Now, I like Lala. I do. I love her unruffled feathers flippancy in shutting Stassi Schroeder the hell up. But Lala needs to get over herself. Like skipping Ariana Madix‘s birthday party claiming an panic attack over Jax’s being there, then insisting a weekend at the Beverly Hills Hotel cures said anxiety. Yeah, um… I think that’s what Kim Richards claimed the after night she was arrested for drunkenly assaulting a police officer while in the bathroom there. Maybe I, like the Three-Headed SheBeast, am just jealous that I can’t claim my anxiety is curable only by taking to the spas waters of 5-star hotels.
But Lala, like come on – all of her friends have to sign an NDA to protect her image? Who is she friends with? What does she have to protect? Is her hoo-ha as fuzzy as Jax’s d–k? Who does she think she is, Cate Blanchett? Cate Blanchett is probably not getting high and drunk then sitting “butt-naked” in a bathtub on SnapChat. She’s too busy having an actual career. Maybe Lala is too… doing what I don’t know, but I don’t know all things. I am not Neil deGrasse Tyson. But if I were, I’d be smart enough to choose more trustworthy friends. Basically James would not be making the guest list of my life.
Predictably Lala spent a good portion of the episode under fire for her man and the untold truths surrounding their relationship. Unironically it is Stassi who’s most bothered by Lala keeping her relationship hidden – even though Stassi did the same thing with EXALTED SUPER BEING, PATRICK OF WEHO. Stassi argues that her situation was different because she “begged” Patrick to be on the show, but he refused, so she bended to his will and quit herself of reality TV full of braggadocio about her upcoming Pinterest wedding and HGTV Statement Necklace Creation show (that was never a thing, btw). Then Patrick begged Stassi to go away, so she begged Lisa to return to Vanderpump Rules. See – Stassi does have goals in life! And follow-through!
Lala won’t even reveal if she is still with this man, but she maintains that he’s not married and is tired of being confronted about what the Three-Headed SheBeast “heard” and “thought” and “was told” – because that has really f–ked with Lala’s life in a way that no NDA can protect. Lala tells Stassi that enough is enough and she should worry about her own man-less life in the wilds of online dating apps. Brittany suddenly wonders why everyone is talking about the NBA – like is Lala dating a basketball player?! Oh Brittany… just go focus on keeping your dress closed.
At least Lala can admit when she’s done wrong. And at least we’ve all discovered that Lala’s relationship is so supremely special and fragile and rare, that it must be protected at all costs and is not fit for reality TV – or this mystery man is just not stupid enough to have his muck raked by the likes of Kristen Doute, Mystery Machine. Either way Lala offers a group apology, then excuses herself from SUR forever.
Before Lala leaves, Tom 2 admits he wishes he’d gotten to know the real Lala – who seems really cool, but she had her dukes up from the start. Lala blames it on knowing even before she walked through the doors of SUR the likes of Katie Maloney and such were judging her harshly, so she was always on the defensive. Too bad. Well, I’ll miss Lala. And we were very lucky to be graced by her presence, so here’s her thank you. I certainly hope Stassi sent a Thank You card as well – maybe she can reuse one of Katie and Tom’s leftover $18 towel invitations.
Moving along, Scheana Marie finds herself in a Flat Tummy Fight! Scheana has worked so hard to be fit, and now her friends want to sabotage it by forcing her to binge drink and consume carbs! She won’t be peer pressured into the Taco Tuesday life! Apparently Katie, Stassi and Kristen are offended because Scheana doesn’t party hearty and she’s trying to make them feel bad by constantly mentioning her flat abs. I’m sure you recall, this caused a lot of animus in Montauk where Scheana wouldn’t eat clams or crow.
RELATED – Scheana Defends Weight Loss To Social Media Haters!
As an aside, Kristen thought a clambake was hot boxing your mom’s minivan with a ton of weed. Instead she was treated to actual clams. And rosé. BOORING! Scheana also argues with Kristen and Stassi about their hostile takeover of Katie’s bridal shower – Brittany too felt left out of the planning, but at least she didn’t have to pay an equal share for it like Scheana did!
Scheana in a rare moment of clarity and intellect, explains that she does not believe Katie is an alcoholic, but that Tequila Katie does have a drinking problem – as in when Katie drinks it negatively effects her life and relationships. Cue about 3,000 scenes of drunken Katie outbursts and bad behavior, while everyone on stage looks down at their hands uncomfortably.
Katie insists her only problem is bad friends – like Schenaa, not alcohol. Scheana just replies “OK” with a finality that means ‘I’m not having this argument because we both know I’m right, and you’re only trying to bait me to twist things around into me attacking you.’ Or at least that was my interpretation. But Scheana is correct: Katie has the same problems with alcohol someone like James does. Or Lala, who revealed one reason she left the show was because the negativity led to unhealthy drinking habits, further bad behavior, and a stack of NDAs. And just so you know Lala’s boyfriend was SO NOT the reason she has people signing NDA’s. He is so not behind it! He is so sweet, perfect, and innocent, and so not afraid of being exposed! Which is why she left the show.
The last two things on the agenda are Jax reconciling his life to Sherri, Brittany’s conservative Kentucky mom, and Ariana and Stassi’s non-friendship. Or rather Ariana not joining the Cult Of Stassism.
RELATED – Pump Rules Cast Defends Brittany’s Mom!
First a Jax montage about his time in Kentucky called “Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky.” Was it just a montage? Or a future spinoff? A failed spinoff attempt? Whatever – it was it looked very dramatic, and like a Jerry Springer episode in its natural habitat. Obviously I’d watch. It turns out it IS a spinoff – premiering this summer.
Brittany and Jax insist Sherri is not homophobic, but she was concerned about her future son-in-law’s sexual proclivities which even Andy thinks is valid. I understand that, but I still think it was complete BS that Jax and Brittany would plan the Roasting Of Jax while Sherri was visiting, then invite her. Especially knowing that Jax actually needs to rent a storage unit for all the skeletons he keeps in his closet!
Stassi’s brother came out, and that felt all kinds of inappropriate. I don’t think it’s cute that a ten-year-old is dispensing advice to this collective of Failures To Launch, and talking about drinking, boobs, and sex. The Mini Mr. Stassi Schroeder and his budding hubris segment just felt kind of icky. I don’t mean any offense to the little boy – I blame the adults involved (are there any?).
Finally, it’s time for some T&A. Which obviously means Tom 1 and Ariana. After much arguing, they are working on the cocktail book together because Tom’s persistence literally paid off. He’s hoping for similar success in the matter of marriage, but Ariana remains adamantly against marriage in general. Tom gushes about how in love he is with Ariana while trying to avoid eye contact with Kristen’s stink face. Oh she will forevermore be salty about T&A in love – even if that love doesn’t lead to a wedding special. In my fantasy, it does – and the at the last minute Tom 2 will object, and they will become this awkward menage-a-trois with Ariana being both mother and big mama to these wayward boys who love, revere and fear her but have passionate feelings for only each other. Can’t you see it? Or at least see my craziness.
While Ariana may love Tom 1 truly, she has the opposite feelings for Stassi. Which duh. They actually have the same birthday, but along with blonde hair and SUR that’s about all they have in common. How different Stassi and Ariana are from each other should prove right then and there how BS astrology is.
Stassi still doesn’t understand why Ariana refuses to give her a chance. Simply put, Ariana doesn’t trust Stassi, nor does she want to be sucked into Stassi’s sycophantic, victim-seeking, shaming friendship web. After all – look what it did to Scheana! Stassi pretends to be soooooo upset, which is, as Ariana said, more of Stassi manipulating by playing the victim and placing the blame on the actual victim. According to Stassi, Ariana not liking her has nothing to do with Stassi – it’s on Ariana for not appreciating the wonders of Stasis Sophisticado of Statement Necklace Paradise. Just like it’s Patrick’s fault. And it was Katie’s fault, and Jax’s, and LVP’s…
Ariana claims she’s tried with Stassi, but every attempt backfires. Like the ‘breakthrough’ they supposedly had at Katie and Tom’s wedding, which culminated with Stassi bragging that she “finally cracked” Ariana. Ariana found that to be another example of Stassi’s rampant manipulation. Maybe Ariana is overly-defensive, but like she’s said, she’s seen years of Stassi claiming to have changed, yet repeating the same behaviors. And her ‘Yes Women’ Sister Wives Coalition featuring Tom 2, Katie, and Kristen, constantly insists she’s a different person, while backing her antics, yet it always does seem to be the same old Stassi ish. Like now that Stassi’s friendships with Katie and Kristen are back intact, they turned their wrath to Scheana – then blamed Scheana.
RELATED – Ariana Opens Up About Relationship With Stassi
So Ariana has sagely seen the writing on the dumpster behind SUR, that Mecca of mystical advice and reasoning, and the Dumpster Heap warned her that a blonde hellcat is in their midst, infiltrating while doing the funky chicken, wearing a bridesmaid’s gown and pretending to feel love, but that taste of blood is always on the tip of her tongue, and it is only a matter of time…
TELL US – SHOULD LISA GIVE JAMES ANOTHER CHANCE? DID LALA MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION IN LEAVING? IS ARIANA TOO JUDGMENTAL OF STASSI?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 2 Recap: Reality Bites appeared first on Reality Tea.
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