Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Not Even Lin-Manuel Miranda Can Get Hamilton Tickets in New Saturday Night Live Promos
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799852/not-even-lin-manuel-miranda-can-get-hamilton-tickets-in-new-saturday-night-live-promos?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
NCIS Pays Tribute to Late Showrunner Gary Glasberg
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799838/ncis-pays-tribute-to-late-showrunner-gary-glasberg?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
The New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine Crossover Looks Perfect and Ridiculous in New Promo
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799828/the-new-girl-and-brooklyn-nine-nine-crossover-looks-perfect-and-ridiculous-in-new-promo?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Faith Hill and Tim McGraw Join The Voice As Season 11 Key Advisers
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799822/faith-hill-and-tim-mcgraw-join-the-voice-as-season-11-key-advisers?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Dancing with the Stars Week 4: Double the Elimination, Double the Opposite of Fun
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799818/dancing-with-the-stars-week-4-double-the-elimination-double-the-opposite-of-fun?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
The Flash Will Never Be the Same After Flashpoint--What's Next?
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799806/the-flash-will-never-be-the-same-after-flashpoint-what-s-next?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
The Mindy Project Season 5 Premiere Sees Mindy Finally Choose Between Danny & Jody--& It's the Right Choice
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799789/the-mindy-project-season-5-premiere-sees-mindy-finally-choose-between-danny-jody-it-s-the-right-choice?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Tuesday Tea – Brangelina, More Kim Kardashian Nonsense and Tori Spelling Still Struggling
Melissa Etheridge chooses a side in Brangelina divorce – Dlisted
Who just quit #LHHH after claiming it’s too ratchet? – Starcasm
This girl is always so negative – Celebitchy
Tori Spelling’s finances are still a mess – Celeb Dirty Laundry
Keep your dog’s Halloween stress down – Dog Time
New ghost hunters show coming – After Ellen
Karl Lagerfeld is annoyed with Kim Kardashian’s robbery story – Dlisted
Photo Credit: Lia Toby/Wenn.com
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The post Tuesday Tea – Brangelina, More Kim Kardashian Nonsense and Tori Spelling Still Struggling appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/10/04/tuesday-tea-brangelina-kim-kardashian-nonsense-tori-spelling-still-struggling/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tuesday-tea-brangelina-kim-kardashian-nonsense-tori-spelling-still-struggling
Simon Cowell inks deal to judge 'America's Got Talent' through 2019
Simon Cowell will apparently be gracing America's Got Talent with his presence for three more years.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/simon-cowell-inks-deal-judge-america-got-talent-through-2019-20675.php
Where Does Luke Cage Rank Among TV's Superhero Shows?
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799723/where-does-luke-cage-rank-among-tv-s-superhero-shows?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Shannon Beador Isn’t Afraid Of Vicki Gunvalson
The Real Housewives of Orange County star Shannon Beador is talking all things Vicki Gunvalson after last night’s episode, which was very Shannon/Vicki-centric.
Shannon begins, “I want to be clear. I never expected Vicki to call me or say “thank you” after I left her a message. I did, however, expect a text or some acknowledgment that she received my message. I didn’t call Vicki to “save face” and it certainly wasn’t weeks later either, it was days.”
“Vicki was saying some unkind things about me at the party and when I was literally standing two feet in front of her, I was not going to act like I was in middle school and ignore it.” Actually ignoring it would’ve been adult behavior…
Shannon speaks some truth here: “In the three years that I have known Vicki, one thing is certain — that she has mastered the art of deflection.” She continues, calling bullshit on Vicki knowing any ‘secrets’ about her. “In true Vicki fashion, she accused me of lying. I do not lie and I have not lied. She is making something up…again. And I was blown away at her threats to me during her interview commentary. She claims to have secrets about my marriage and that is a joke. I am an open book that let everyone into a humiliating affair last year. We all know Vicki has the reputation of lying and deflection. To hear Donn say that Vicki is a “lying sack of dog s***” in the flashback kind of says it all.” Tell us how you really feel, Shannon!
Shannon is fed up with it all and she wants it known that she is NOT afraid of Vicki. “I have grown quite tired of people telling me that I haven’t moved on from my issues with Vicki so I went into Heather’s book party with the intent of having fun with her. I will never be her good friend, but that doesn’t mean I can’t share a cocktail or a laugh with her from time to time. So when I made the effort to do just that, it was almost hurtful to hear Tamra and Heather say that they think that I am “afraid of Vicki” or that my interaction with her was “odd”. Which is it? I never have been or will be afraid of Vicki Gunvalson. I will say one thing — had I been aware of the nasty threats and lies Vicki was conjuring up behind my back, I never would have made an effort to interact with her at all.”
Shannon says the cast trip is crazytown and judging from the preview we saw last night, she’s not kidding. “I was excited when Meghan announced a trip to Ireland! I have always wanted to travel there! It is truly an insane trip, and not all in a good way. Until then…”
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
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The post Shannon Beador Isn’t Afraid Of Vicki Gunvalson appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/10/04/shannon-beador-isnt-afraid-vicki-gunvalson/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=shannon-beador-isnt-afraid-vicki-gunvalson
Is There Hope for The Flash's Barry and Iris in Flashpoint?
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799707/is-there-hope-for-the-flash-s-barry-and-iris-in-flashpoint?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Simon Cowell is staying on America’s Got Talent through 2019
from reality blurred https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2016/10/simon-cowell-americas-got-talent-three-years/
Sonja Morgan Comes Up Short Trying To Open A Restaurant & Bethenny Frankel Is Blamed
In all honesty, that Tipsy Girl vs. Skinnygirl fight was painful to witness during the last Real Housewives of New York season. It was just a way bigger deal than I ever expected it to be and I still find it a little weird that Bethenny Frankel somehow felt threatened by Sonja Morgan’s business attempt. There is room for all of the Real Housewives to market their own liquor brands, so I don’t get how Bethenny could be upset with Sonja for trying to do the same. Sonja is trying to open a Tipsy Girl restaurant, which obviously did not work out, and now Bethenny is getting blamed?
That makes no sense to me. Yes, Bethenny is a super successful liquor mogul, but there is no way that she has that much power. Come on. As much as I love and root for Sonja, we all know that restaurant was never ever going to come to fruition. It just seems like Bethenny is a scapegoat to me.
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According to Page Six, Sonja has been trying to open up a restaurant called Tipsy Girl (of course) and has stumbled upon a major road block since she failed to acquire a liquor license. Apparently, this has been going on for a while since the State Liquor Authority denied the liquor license back in February as well.
Apparently the board was put off by the request because “that [the] ‘Tipsy Girl’ brand was a plotline on the reality TV show the ‘Real House Wives of New York’ [sic], on which [Morgan] appears as a cast member and that the location was in fact intended to be a destination location that would be promoted through a buried plotline on the reality television show.” Not everyone wants to be associated with reality TV. That’s pretty understandable so I don’t get why Bethenny is the one getting blamed for this.
It seems like a far stretch to me. I really doubt that this was even on Bethenny’s radar, to be honest.
TELL US- DO YOU THINK BETHENNY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH SONJA’S RESTAURANT FAILING TO GET A LIQUOR LICENSE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
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The post Sonja Morgan Comes Up Short Trying To Open A Restaurant & Bethenny Frankel Is Blamed appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/10/04/sonja-morgan-comes-short-trying-open-restaurant-bethenny-frankel-blamed/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=sonja-morgan-comes-short-trying-open-restaurant-bethenny-frankel-blamed
Derek Hough defends sister Julianne Hough: To say she body shamed Amber Rose is "definitely just false"
Derek Hough has taken his sister Julianne Hough's side after Amber Rose accused the Dancing with the Stars judge of body shaming her.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/derek-hough-defends-sister-julianne-hough-say-she-body-shamed-amber-rose-is-definitely-just-false-20674.php
Terra Jole Says It “Feels Like Being Hit By A Car” To Compete On “Dancing With The Stars”
It’s so crazy that Terra Jole threw herself into Dancing With the Stars just a couple weeks after giving birth to her second child. I’m a (relatively) healthy person and I feel like I would die from the rigor of competing on Dancing with the Stars, so I have no idea how a new mom is able to do that so soon. So it’s really not at all surprising that Terra opened up about how strenuous the show is on her body.
Not only is Terra a mother to a newborn, but she is also a little person, so she really has a lot to manage when it comes to competing in such a physical competition. And even with all that, she is still doing very well on show.
CLICK “CONTINUE READING” FOR MORE
Terra opened to Us Weekly about the difficulties of being a contestant on Dancing With the Stars. The Little Women: LA star revealed, “I was actually scared when we first started, petrified is probably a better word because it was only three weeks out of my C-section, and I had to get a doctor’s approval just to be able to do the show!” THREE WEEKS!? Wow. I have no idea how she’s pulling this off.
Terra added, “It was definitely scary. Most people aren’t allowed to do heavy exercising or even take a bath until six weeks after. So the fact that now not only am I dancing with Sasha [Farber], but I’m doing well, I feel like I’m my own biggest competitor in this world. Everyone keeps asking me, ‘Who’s your biggest competition on the show?’ But honestly it’s myself because each week I just want to get better and better.” Good for her, though. She honestly is really getting this shit done.
Yeah, Terra is doing well, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t in some serious pain. Terra explained, “Every different dance makes my body hurt for a totally different reason. I compare it to like, being hit by a car but in different directions!” Oh god. And in contrast I get winded walking up a big flight of stairs. That shit sounds painful.
As a fan of the show, Terra didn’t think it was going to be as tough as it actually is. Terra admitted, “It’s definitely way harder than I ever expected it to be. I was obsessed with the show before I was a part of it! You think looking at the show, ‘Ugh, why doesn’t that person just point her toe more?’ or ‘Why doesn’t she put more emotion into it?’ But then when you’re in it yourself, you realize just how difficult it is.” I never thought that it looked easy. From keeping your outfit in place, to moving around and doing all that crazy stuff. I never thought it looked easy, but yeah I have no idea how a mother to a newborn is pulling this off so well. Good for her.
TELL US- DO YOU THINK TERRA HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’?
[Photo Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin]
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The post Terra Jole Says It “Feels Like Being Hit By A Car” To Compete On “Dancing With The Stars” appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/10/04/terra-jole-says-feels-like-hit-car-compete-dancing-stars/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=terra-jole-says-feels-like-hit-car-compete-dancing-stars
This Law & Order: SVU Sneak Peek Has Everything: Rollins & Carisi Being Cute, Benson and Artisanal Pickles
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799628/this-law-order-svu-sneak-peek-has-everything-rollins-carisi-being-cute-benson-and-artisanal-pickles?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Amber Rose on Kim Kardashian's gunpoint robbery: "It's unfortunate"
Amber Rose was sorry to hear that Kim Kardashian was the victim of an armed robbery over the weekend.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/amber-rose-on-kim-kardashian-gunpoint-robbery-it-unfortunate-1049549.php
Jeff Probst’s Survivor salary: $4 million per season, report says
from reality blurred https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2016/10/jeff-probst-survivor-salary/
Kanye West reschedules tour dates following Kim Kardashian's gunpoint robbery
Kanye West has rescheduled dates on his Saint Pablo tour after his wife Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint in Paris.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/kanye-west-reschedules-tour-dates-following-kim-kardashian-gunpoint-robbery-1049541.php
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Gets a Premiere Date & a Dire First Teaser
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799633/lemony-snicket-s-a-series-of-unfortunate-events-gets-a-premiere-date-a-dire-first-teaser?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
No Tomorrow, TV's Only Apocalyptic Rom-Com, Is Here to Make Bucket Lists Cute
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799602/no-tomorrow-tv-s-only-apocalyptic-rom-com-is-here-to-make-bucket-lists-cute?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
'The Voice' coaches fill teams as "Blind Auditions" come to a close, Top 48 artists determined
The Voice coaches picked the remaining 13 artists for their teams, rounding out Season 11's Top 48, during Monday night's broadcast on NBC.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/the-voice-coaches-fill-teams-as-blind-auditions-come-close-top-48-artists-determined-20673.php
Hot Photos: Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Bethenny, Luann de Lesseps, More
Happy Tuesday. Only three and half more days til the weekend. In the meantime, let’s see what our reality stars are up to this week. Above, Lisa Rinna attended a special “Watch What Happens-Live on Stage” afterparty at Revolver Video Bar.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Peta Murgatroyd, Terra Jole and Tonya Banks were on hand to support Amber Rose’s SlutWalk 2016 in Los Angeles.
Photo Credit: Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images
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The post Hot Photos: Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Bethenny, Luann de Lesseps, More appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/10/04/hot-photos-lisa-rinna-lisa-vanderpump-bethenny-luann-de-lesseps/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=hot-photos-lisa-rinna-lisa-vanderpump-bethenny-luann-de-lesseps
How Real Housewives of Orange County's Shannon Beador Is Defending Herself Against Vicki Gunvalson's Claims
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799623/how-real-housewives-of-orange-county-s-shannon-beador-is-defending-herself-against-vicki-gunvalson-s-claims?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
American Horror Story Renewed for Season 7 on FX
from E! Online (US) - TV News http://www.eonline.com/news/799592/american-horror-story-renewed-for-season-7-on-fx?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-tvnews&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_tvnews
Toni Braxton home from hospital after lupus scare
Toni Braxton is "resting at home" after a four-day hospital stay where she was being treated for complications from lupus.
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/toni-braxton-home-from-hospital-after-lupus-scare-1049536.php
Amber Rose and Julianne Hough clear the air on 'Dancing with the Stars'
Confronting Amber Rose's comments that she felt "body shamed" on Dancing with the Stars, judge Julianne Hough told Amber Rose she was judging her "only for the dancing."
from Reality TV World latest news stories http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/amber-rose-and-julianne-hough-clear-air-on-dancing-with-stars-1049534.php
Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap: An Unconvincing Fake
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, there was a whiff of secrets in the air and Shannon Beador made the decision to ‘fake it til she doesn’t have to make it anymore’ in her non-friendship with Vicki Gunvalson.
It’s not like Shannon had an epiphany No, she was just tired of everyone pointing out the obvious: she has unresolved issues with Vicki. Of course Vicki resorted to thinly veiled threats basically forcing Shannon to act like her friend, or else, because the best way to start over is by holding a person hostage by potential secrets. ‘Or else’ what…we’re not sure since Vicki has the ‘or else’ in ‘the vault’ stored alongside the date she realized Brooks was faking cancer.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
It all began in a candle emporium. As these things do. Amid cocktails and the many wicks of Jimmy Dad Jeans. It takes a man very comfortable with his sexuality to reveal that what really lights his fire is a scented candle with a long wick.
But, if anything’s going to light the way to a forced but convenient re-friendship, let it be a candle, right? I’ve heard worse (the ‘worse’ being the way Shannon says, “DAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVIIIIDDDDD, can you come here, please,” with that edge to her voice. Nails on a chalkboard.)
Since this is Housewives, where petty slights never die, weeks after the accident in Glamis, when all of the ‘hospital drama’ was supposedly put to bed and gave Vicki hickies on her boobs, it’s suddenly important to Tamra Judge to see if Vicki thanked Shannon for acknowledging she was injured. Even Vicki is like not here, not now, but Tamra is nothing if not persistent.
This message Shannon left Vicki, was sent after Shannon made a big stinkin’ deal that she would NOT go to the hospital to check on a woman she doesn’t consider a friend, who was likely faking her injuries like they were a cancer that could be cured by juice. I mean everybody knows cancer is cured by insurance policies and little rubber bracelets, NOT juice!
Vicki didn’t respond because she didn’t believe Shannon’s call was sincere. Vicki is right – Shannon only called her to save face. Her message sounded about as earnest as when I tell my mother-in-law I would absolutely love if she organized my pantry.
Heather Dubrow is also correct – if Shannon is so freaking over Vicki, why the hell does she care if Vicki thanks her for leaving some fake-ass message because Tamra and Heather guilt-tripped her into it? But such is the social hierarchy of Housewives, you have keep up the pretenses of some semblance of frienemy. These are friendships dominated by threats of exposure, so when Meghan Edmonds encourages Shannon to “be honest” with Vicki, right there at the grand opening of the candle shop, and demand to know why she never received a ‘thank you for calling’ reply, Shannon is all too happy to oblige.
Shannon, with an awkward forcefulness, confronted Vicki over not acknowledging her voice mail. How dumb!
“Our friendship isn’t right,” came Vicki’s terse reply. So then it went down the rabbit hole about Brooks, the argument Vicki had with David, how she and Shannon supposedly moved on, and there is also Tamra interjecting. Somehow the conversation returns to everyone’s favorite topic: Who lied. We know David did. We know Vicki did. But suddenly then there is a new element introduced, a toxic mercury I’m pretty sure an organic mattress purveyor would warn you against, when Vicki declares, “We all lie – even you, Shannon.”
Now, I’m fully inclined to believe Vicki pulled that out of her ass to see where it would lead. I’m of another mind to believe Shannon DID spill confidences to Vicki while they were close and her marriage was unraveling. However, I’m a desperate gossip hound who salivates over soap operas, so I probably just want it to be true that Vicki secretly knows Shannon also cheated, or had a three-way with David and the mistress, or some other insanely salacious tale.
One look at Tamra’s face and I know she was thinking the same thing. She pounces like a tiger who spotted a wounded gazelle and pretends she wants to help it. “Secrets…” she purrs, “What secrets? Allow yourself to reveal them under the guise of me being a reborn peace-maker who seeks harmony, flat abs, and happiness for all…” Heather must have smelled trouble wafting through the air and got out of there before she, who has mutual friends with Shannon, implicated herself in corroborating another one of Vicki’s tales!
After Vicki dropped her ‘You lied…’ bomb, Shannon froze for a second. I imagine, desperately trying to recall those drunken nights crying on Vicki’s shoulder – did she spill something other than vodka onto Vicki’s lap? – before vociferously denying it and demanding to know what it is she supposedly lied about. “Not here,” husks Vicki.
Then Jim told them to take it outside. He’s there to sell candles, not tickets to the freak show! So Vicki turned on her heel and marched out, with Kelly Dodd following behind.
Then there were three, two of whom are 100% certain that Shannon and Vicki have something “on each other.” Tamra and Meghan remind Shannon, yet again, that she has unresolved issues with Vicki. Shannon has unresolved issues with life! The woman can’t even choose a mattress without 4000 concerns and potential dangers.
Later, while extolling the virtues of organic mattresses, Shannon realizes that she hasn’t slept well since Vicki indicated she knows a dirty little secret. Why would you lose sleep over something that you know is just another of Vicki’s lies? Shannon decides purchasing a more holistic, less rubbery, less fire retardant, less metallic mattress will give her the rest she needs. I agree that with the iciness emitted from Shannon all the time, she does need less fire retardant in bed.
Heather visits Shannon, arriving with a giant block of Himalayan Sea Salt as a housewarming gift. Shannon the holistic queen, has never heard of this pink salt and dismisses it as a “happy fat” hiding place. How is it that Shannon has no idea what Himalayan Sea Salt is? My mom, who doesn’t know holistic from a house plant, bought some at Trader Joe’s for $1.99, so if she’s heard of it, a faux-hippy hausfrau buying $10,000 organic mattress should know. Maybe that’s the big secret Vicki has on Shannon? Shannon actually doesn’t live holistically and has a hidden bomb shelter filled with Cheetos, Ziploc bags, and Poly-Propheline onesies? Oh, and I bet she drinks diet coke for breakfast!
Heather and Shannon’s visit comes down to discussing Shannon’s so-called unresolved issues with Vicki, and the so-called secret lies Vicki is simmering on threatening to reveal if Shannon doesn’t stop pushing her buttons. Heather informs Shannon that it’s obvious she isn’t ‘over things,’ because she goes rigid at the very mention of Vicki’s name. They can’t be in the same room without Shannon without acting like the place is haunted.
Also, Heather and Tamra have both received confirmation from Kelly that Vicki does possess a damning secret about Shannon, and “Oh, it’s bad,” Kelly assured them, slurping her wine, “Real bad.” Cause: credible!
If this is truly some terrible secret that Vicki swore she’d never reveal, she shouldn’t even be threatening to spill. It makes her look bad!
And when did Kelly and Vicki become arbiters of some closely-guarded truth? Would anyone truly store any secrets in their Louis Vuitton Pouchettes? I tend to believe there’s a grain of truth to what Vicki is saying – at the very least she’s heard something she’ll try to spin, or probably, she’s merely hoping Shannon will be too nervous to call her bluff so the threat of a secret lingering, seconds away from exposure, will get Shannon in line. And in that instance Vicki was correct.
Shannon decides, while sitting in her massive vacant living room, staring out at the endless ocean she doesn’t swim in due to toxins and resting her weary, haggard heart on the two lonely patio chairs, that she’s gonna prove to everyone how much she doesn’t care about Vicki by acting like she’s over it. Just like she did with her marriage – she’ll pretend all is fine, then colonic out the build-up later. The perfect place for Shannon to enact her resolve is at Heather‘s book launch for Dr. & Mrs. Guinea Pig. There Shannon will play the guinea pig to test her own new approach.
Meanwhile, Vicki goes shopping with Tamra, almost loses a Prada heel to crack in the floor, then loses a nipple cover to the crack, then she and Tamra crack up while trying on clothes. They are fun together. Two wrongs make a right here, and that’s that.
Vicki tells Tamra about her new man, whom she’s bringing to Heather’s party. He’s a cop. Tamra is already paying $9.99 to background check him. Which I mean, someone needs to, but my guess is Tamra was sleuthing for dirt. Vicki declares that no one is allowed to judge Steve, after all she doesn’t judge anyone else’s relationship. Cut to 11 seasons of Vicki judging everyone else’s relationship and Donn calling her a “f–king liar”. Aah, good times, great oldies! And this folks, is why Vicki makes great TV: no self-awareness.
Like when Vicki films a Kill All Cancer commercial, and does so without a hint of irony because she truly belies this exonerates her from any seediness she was ever implicated in via Brooks.
So, why Meghan can’t cook frozen peas and spaghetti? I’ll cut her some slack since she has perinatal depression, which I also had and it’s awful. I’m glad to see Jimmy being supportive by locating scissors for which to slice open the plastic baggie of frozen peas and then not really cooking them.
Peas that remain frozen after they’re supposed to have thawed is a pretty good metaphor for Jim and Meghan’s marriage, though, isn’t it.
Also frozen are Kelly and Michael. They have a chat on the beach and Kelly blames Michael for all their problems then forces him to promise he’ll try to kiss her ass more. I was having difficulty concentrating on what they were even saying, because I was so distracted by Kelly’s heaving bosom, which was WAY WAY too big for her bikini top. I mean, eek! I was petrified those things were gonna launch right out, whack Michael in the face about 35 times, and then stomp down the beach yelling “FREEDOM NOW!” Later they leave him at Costco for a Diet Coke and then Uber their way home.
On the night of the book launch party, Heather is overjoyed by the wrinkled table cloths and the tacky ice sculpture. I question her taste.
Vicki unveils Steve, and for once I don’t think I question her taste! Tamra gives him the full pat-down; literally checking for guns and other dubious bulges, then pronouncing him “employed” and “nice.” And also Briana-approved. Meanwhile, Kelly observes Michael get drunker and drunker until he is sexually harassing Heather’s stylist, who politely deflects him until Kelly literally wrenches him away. “I can’t take him anywhere!” she seethes to Vicki. “Michael is a drunk.”
When they drink, they fight more, but I think they both drink because they’re unhappy with each other and the only way to tolerate it is to be drunk?
When Shannon finally arrives, oh and boy did she put on a show. Full of fulsome determination to act like she doesn’t care about Vicki that she overdoes it. Shannon was on ‘Fetch’ level.
Everyone noticed Shannon going over-board to pretend that suddenly she was totally fine with Vicki, and not only that, friendly! Having shots! Laughing! Vicki kind of laughed along, afraid that this was some sort of trap. Tamra and Heather played along too, while noticing how incredibly awkward it all was.
Let’s be honest – Shannon’s shtick contains a bit of the ol’ ‘Lady doth protests too much’ to it. Like she’s afraid it might be out there somewhere – these secrets – so better safe than sorry. If she’s positive Vicki is a lying liar-face who lies about lies, Shannon may have shrug it off. But that’s not Shannon – shrugging anything off is as likely as her consuming SPAM.
Meghan tells Heather that she’s dying to take a heritage trip to Ireland and find her ancestors, so Heather invites herself along. They inform all the other women that next week they too will be abandoning their children, businesses, fitness competitions, secrets, and lies.
Finally, Heather forces them to make ice cream from dry ice which is like the most 1992 party trick in history, but also an incredibly apt analogy for this group. They all stand around, tepidly holding whisks they’re not sure how to spin, until clumpy brown emerges from the frozen smoke.Tamra declares that it looks like a yeast infection – which Tamra really needs to visit her gyro if she has THAT going on down there.
At this moment, they decide, with Shannon finally just grovelling in the acceptance that Vicki is fun in a whoop it up way, to go to Ireland together. If that isn’t a prediction and proper send-off, I don’t know what is…
You can take the girls to the blarney stone but you can’t expect the jig to be up!
TELL US – DOES VICKI HAVE A SECRET ABOUT SHANNON?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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