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Welcome to The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City! Over a year since it was first announced at BravoCon, the newest Housewives franchise is finally here, and let me tell you, dear readers. The wait was worth it. In the famous words of the Mormon prophet Brigham Young, who settled the Salt Lake Valley in 1847, “This is the place.”
I feel confident in saying the premiere episode was pretty well near perfect. (Which makes sense because, as one of the ‘Wives says of life in Salt Lake City, “Perfection is attainable!”) The last time we were graced with a first episode this good was back when Real Housewives of Potomac premiered in 2016. (Though the hype surrounding RHOP was comparatively much smaller at the time. Bravo even leaned into a full slate of ads asking “Where is Potomac?” ahead of the premiere. And it took seasons of under-the-radar perfection for the show to finally be respected today as the top-tier Housewives franchise it is.)
But back to Salt Lake. I’m particularly thrilled to be recapping this season of RHOSLC because, like some of the ‘Wives, I’m a pure-bred, pedigreed Mormon. I grew up in Utah. I spent two full years of my life preaching the gospel on a Mormon mission in northern Canada. Like two of the ‘Wives, I graduated from BYU. These are my people. I’ve spent my entire life in the cloistered, often misunderstood world these women inhabit, and I couldn’t be more excited to guide you through it over the course of the season. So let’s jump in, shall we?
We’re first introduced to Jen Shah, who happens to be the first Polynesian Housewife in Bravo history. Jen’s husband is Sharrieff Shah, a football coach at the University of Utah. Of course, the couple live in a stunning ski chalet with their two boys, Sharrieff Jr. and Omar. Originally from Hawaii, Jen grew up Mormon but informs us via confessional that she’s converting to Islam in solidarity over the Church’s historic mistreatment of Black members. This is partially to stand by her Black husband and mixed race sons, as the Church didn’t allow Black members equal treatment — including going inside the temple and males holding the priesthood — until 1978. But either way, “Assalamu Alaikum, bitches!”
Next up is Heather Gay, who seems like the most traditionally Mormon of the bunch. Recently divorced from an unnamed member of so-called “Mormon royalty,” Heather’s illustrious pedigree includes bonafide, plains-crossing Mormon pioneers and a connection to Howard Hughes. (An inheritance from the late business magnate and pilot is apparently where her ex’s family’s billion-dollar fortune comes from.) However, Heather herself runs a wildly successful medspa called Beauty Lab & Laser. (If you live anywhere in northern Utah, you know Heather’s business is a big deal.)
We also meet Meredith Marks, a Jewish transplant from Chicago with a palatial home in the hills of Park City. Meredith’s an award-winning jewelry designer. Trust me, her store on Main Street in Park City is inundated during the Sundance Film Festival. Her line boasts an enviable celebrity clientele that includes Rihanna, Charlize Theron, and none other than RHONY It Girl Tinsley Mortimer. The trailer for the season hints at marital trouble for the elegant wife and her husband Seth Marks, but I’m calling it now: her son Brooks Marks is going to be the breakout Housewives kid of the franchise. Think Portia Umansky or Milania Giudice in the body of a handsome, 21-year-old gay boy.
Meredith‘s best friend and lookalike is Lisa Barlow, a New York transplant who describes herself as Mormon 2.0. Though “Jewish by heritage, Mormon by choice,” her family converted to the Church when she was a teen. The “2.0” part of Lisa’s faith identity comes largely from the fact that she and her husband own multiple alcohol brands. One — Vida Tequila — was the first tequila brand to ever launch in Utah. However, one of the central tenets of the Mormon Church’s Word of Wisdom is to not drink alcohol. So naturally, the Barlows’ livelihood causes quite a bit of controversy among the Mormons in their affluent Draper neighborhood. However, Lisa proudly claims that the only opinion she’s worried about is what she thinks. I love this girl already.
Next we meet Heather‘s cousin Whitney Rose, at her wedding to husband Justin Rose. Unlike a traditional Mormon temple wedding, though, Whitney’s ceremony is taking place outdoors. Specifically on the shores of man-made Oquirrh Lake in the master-planned suburb of Daybreak. Oh, and twist! It’s not actually a wedding, it’s a 10-year vow renewal. Because, while Whitney may look like a traditional Molly Mormon, her life has been anything but. As it turns out, she and her much-older husband met and had a scandalous affair when they were both married to other people.
As a result, Whitney is the only Housewife who’s been excommunicated from the Church. In Mormon society, excommunication is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a person. Not only do you basically lose out on your eternal salvation, you also lose your standing in the Church. It’s not uncommon to be ostracized from your friends and your family. It can feel like your entire community has turned its collective back on you. So Whitney’s not wrong when she says in her confessional, “It is a very big deal that I’m not Mormon anymore.”
Later, Whitney meets for lunch with Mary Cosby, a Pentecostal minister and the final Housewife to complete the cast. Almost immediately, Mary’s pegged as the outsider of the group. Not only does she have zero ties to Mormonism, but there’s bad blood brewing between her and Jen. And then there’s the issue of her husband. How can I even explain this? Mary is married to her step-grandfather. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, their union was arranged as a caveat in her grandmother’s will. In order for Mary to take over the family empire, she had to marry her step-grandpa. Bizarre, to say the least. And it’s only going to get weirder as the season goes on. Though given the rampant history of polygamy within the Mormon Church, equally strange arrangements have happened in Utah before.
Now that we’ve introduced the Housewives, let’s get down to the drama. Jen seems to be the ringleader of the group, and brings the entire cast together by throwing a birthday party for Meredith. In the lead-up to the party, she meets with Lisa and Meredith to discuss party details. That’s when the topic of Lisa’s history with Heather comes up. It turns out the two went to BYU — the private university owned by the Mormon Church in Provo, Utah — at the same time 20 years ago. But when Jen shares that Heather claimed the two have decades of history together, Lisa coolly pulls a Mariah Carey and claims she doesn’t remember her fellow ‘Wife from their BYU days. In fact, the only thing she remembers about Heather is that she was a “good time girl” who flaunted the school’s stringent Honor Code and broke the rules.
As someone who had my own ridiculous run-in with the Honor Code office in college (over an “extreme” haircut, of all things), the entire basis for this feud had me in stitches. Are we really fighting about the Honor Code? From the ’90s? However, Heather doesn’t take it so lightly when Jen returns and reports the shade Lisa was throwing. She sees it as both a haughty dismissal of herself and a blow to her reputation. She graduated as a virgin and got married as a virgin! In fact, if Heather could go back and do all the things she missed out on in college, she would be that good time girl! All I know is I can’t wait to use “I guess we have different recollections” the next time I need to pull my own Mariah moment on a frenemy.
The other main feud that explodes is between Jen and Mary over…smelling like hospital. SMELLING. LIKE. HOSPITAL. I’m dead. So it goes like this: some time before filming started, Jen met up with Mary and some friends after visiting her aunt in the hospital. The poor woman had just had both legs amputated, and Mary complained that someone “smelled like hospital” and it was making her sick. Naturally, Jen didn’t take too kindly to the random jab, and the argument once again boils over at her party. Surrounded by Tongan dancers and shirtless waiters, the two ‘Wives duke it out over Mary’s insensitive comment.
Jen‘s feelings are still hurt, but Mary has no problem doubling down. She even throws out a rather vile jab at Jen’s aunt in her confessional. Sweetie, it doesn’t make you look good when you say, “Well her legs are already gone so what do you want me to do about it?” Or, you know, “She should’ve taken better care of herself.” Or even still, “She should’ve drank some water.” It’s rude. It’s unkind. It’s downright callous. And it’s more than Jen can take, who promptly storms away and slams the door as “To Be Continued” flashes ominously on screen.
TELL – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF Salt Lake City PREMIERE? WHICH REAL HOUSEWIVES OF Salt Lake City ARE YOUR FAVES SO FAR? ARE YOU TEAM JEN OR TEAM MARY? TEAM LISA OR TEAM HEATHER?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City Series Premiere Recap: This Is The Place appeared first on Reality Tea.
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For a filler episode, this week’s Real Housewives of Orange County was quite the roller coaster, wasn’t it? There was a heartwarming high. There were low-budget lows. And then right at the end, was the lowest low of all. Personally, over the course of the episode I went from getting choked up. To being weirded out. To being completely shocked, emotionally triggered and happily surprised at the return of a familiar face. And finally, to feeling physically sick to my stomach by the final scene. For a Housewives season many fans are choosing not to watch, this year in the OC is certainly delivering all kinds of emotions so far. And we haven’t even reached the earth-shattering outbreak of a global pandemic!
Let’s just start with the low-budget low, shall we? The episode kicks off with Emily Simpson FaceTiming Gina Kirschenheiter to rehash last week’s drama. Which would be a totally ordinary thing to do in the world of Housewives if Gina weren’t busy shopping at…Walmart. Now listen. I’m not saying shopping at Walmart is sad and depressing the way some ‘Wives might. But it’s normal. Which is precisely what I don’t want from a Housewives show. Give me luxury! Give me wealth! At the very least, give me Trader Joe’s. I mean. Can you imagine Heather Dubrow deigning to shop at Walmart during her five seasons on the show? I didn’t think so. Gina getting caught shopping at Walmart on camera just goes to show how far this show has fallen from its glory days.
Next, the high. Which involves Braunwyn Windham-Burke taking a break from her personal struggles to help her son Jacob Windham-Burke embrace his newfound love of drag. And I have to be honest, this scene made me fully tear up. At last year’s reunion, Braunwyn shared that being open up about her own sexuality on the show inspired one of her kids to open about about questioning their own identity. And while she doesn’t confirm that revelation was about her oldest son, it’s possible seeing as he’s now exploring the world of drag. With the passionate, unabashed and loving support of his entire family, might I add.
Braunwyn‘s also protective of Jacob and his choices, clarifying via confessional that he hasn’t said one way or the other what this new hobby means for his sexuality, gender identity, etc. And frankly, it shouldn’t matter! It’s so refreshing and moving to see the family rally around Jacob in support of his drag dreams and watch his drag persona of Divine Devon come to life. Especially in such a deeply conservative area like Orange County. Divine may be his alter ego, but I hereby proclaim that Jacob is indeed the baddest queen at the ball. Talk about being a true inspiration.
Over at the Beador residence, Shannon Beador is having a heart-to-heart with her oldest daughter Sophie Beador. Remember that book she was writing last season about being a child of divorce? She’s now shopping it to publishers, which means she didn’t have a book deal when she decided it would look good on her college applications. But of course, Shannon’s more concerned about the trauma she’s passed down to her children over the last seven years on national television.
And while rebellious Stella is usually my favorite Beador child, I have to admit I laughed out loud when Sophie deadpanned during her confessional that her book will be titled How to Weather the Shannon Storms Beador. An instant New York Times best-seller if I’ve ever heard one! She also throws some shade at her mom’s new boyfriend, John Janssen. Via confessional, she worries the guy can’t support her mom both emotionally and financially. And now I’m suddenly worried. Do we have another grifter on our hands in the OC??
While Braunwyn brings Kelly Dodd along to try on wedding dresses for her upcoming vow renewal, Elizabeth Lyn Vargas opens up about her younger sister’s drug addiction. Both of these scenes are triggering for me for different reasons. The former demonstrates the fundamental difference between Braunwyn and Kelly’s attitudes (and general character). Braunwyn is excited and gleefully shares that Jacob might even wear a dress to the big day. Kelly, meanwhile, complains, criticizes every dress Braunwyn has her try on and rudely asks if Jacob is doing drag just to get attention. God she’s just the worst.
Elizabeth‘s scene with her mom will certainly hit a nerve with anyone watching who’s ever had a family member caught in the trap of addiction. I know it got to me. But it also did a great job of humanizing the newbie. Up until this point, I’ve felt she hasn’t really offered much.
And I’ll admit I came into the season with preconceived notions that I wouldn’t like her. But I dare say, I might…actually…be starting….to like…Elizabeth Vargas? That pains me to say — and don’t hold me to it if I change my mind later this season. But between this and her generosity when it comes to her nouveau riche mega wealth, she’s kind of winning me over.
One person Elizabeth might not be winning over is Shannon. The vet has claimed in multiple press interviews that she immediately liked the new girl, but the awkward tension between them tonight was real. And honestly, I was kind of living for it. There’s maybe nothing I love more than when Shannon Storms Beador is threatened by a fellow Housewife’s wealth.
First, Elizabeth invited her and Gina over for lunch and a tour of her bougie beach house. Then, she brought her and Kelly along to shop for a Ferrari to put in said beach house’s garage. All the while, Shannon grimaced, judged and threw passive-aggressive shade about the newbie’s lifestyle choices and spending habits. As a general rule, I tend to be turned off by RHOC ‘Wives who are weirdly obsessed with cars (see: Peggy Sulahian, and also Peggy Tanous.) But now, I’m more than ready for the Shannon/Elizabeth feud we all deserve.
While the others are car shopping, Braunwyn and Gina meet up to go to an AA meeting. (One because she’s a newly confessed alcoholic, the other because it’s court mandated by her DUI conviction.) It may seem like a strange way to bond, but somehow, the experience helps the two ‘Wives turn a serious corner in their fraught relationship.
Gina finally sees a vulnerable side to Braunwyn. Braunwyn admits she was lashing out to hurt Gina and opens up about how her drinking led to her past split with Sean Burke. Before I know it, these two are hugging it out over coffee and suddenly, everything has changed. File this scene under the part where I was completely shocked.
Is Emily still on this show? She’s been completely absent for the entire episode besides the opening Walmart FaceTime call. But suddenly we’re back at her house for the surprise and welcome return of a familiar face from seasons past. Lizzie Rovsek is back on our screens! It turns out the two pals are collaborating on a swimsuit for curvy ladies. Which is really a great thing. But seeing the former Housewife mostly just makes me think about the injustice that Lizzie was relegated to one-season wonder status (two if you count being demoted to Friend of the Housewives for Season 10).
Meanwhile someone like Gina — and Emily, frankly — has made it three seasons and counting. It’s no secret that I love Emily as a person, but I loved what Lizzie brought to the show much, much more. She had a hot, hot husband (though they’ve since broken up). Lizzie was almost universally beloved by her fellow Housewives at the time. She stood up to Vicki Gunvalson‘s hazing with a smile on her face. Plus, she’s the only Housewife who’s ever sent Tamra Judge fleeing in humiliation across the lobby of a Balinese hotel. Basically, can we please bring Lizzie back for Season 16?
Finally, let’s get to the scene that made me sick to my stomach. The episode’s final moments revolved around Gina‘s on-screen reunion with ex-husband Matt Kirschenheiter at their daughter’s birthday party. Most fans will know that this was Matt’s first appearance ever on the show, after refusing to film for the last two seasons. And it’s also the first time we’ve seen him following his arrest on charges of domestic violence, which Gina heartbreakingly opened up about at the Season 14 reunion.
It was frankly gut-wrenching to watch Gina plaster a smile on her face in the scene, all while talking about choosing to make a victim impact statement against him in her confessional. I support Gina as a survivor, but my heart also breaks for her that she has to co-parent with a Long Island douche canoe who not only cheated on her, but also (allegedly) physically assaulted her. The entire scene just felt gross and menacing, and was a weird, weird note to end on. But here we are.
TELL US – HOW HEARTWARMING WAS JACOB’S DRAG TRANSFORMATION? WERE YOU SURPRISED TO SEE BRAUNWYN AND GINA TURN A CORNER IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP? WOULD YOU WANT LIZZIE TO RETURN TO REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY FULL-TIME? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MATT’S LONG-AWAITED APPEARANCE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Orange County Recap: The Baddest Queen At The Ball appeared first on Reality Tea.
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