Stress eating chocolate? Crying? That can only mean one thing: This Is Us is back. The freshman NBC drama returned from winter break and didn't waste any time in revealing what exactly...
Just call Eden Sassoon the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills peer mediator. In just her second episode on the Bravo reality hit, the entrepreneur and daughter of the late beauty icon Vidal...
Kim circa 2009
Vivica A. Fox stirred up quite a mess – Dlisted
Brangelina finally agree to STFU – Celebitchy
Peter and Amina headed for divorce? – Starcasm
8 PM EST –
Chopped Junior (Food Network)
Little People, Big World (TLC) – finale
Rickey Smiley For Real (TVOne)
9 PM EST –
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo)
Dance Moms (Lifetime)
Outdaughtered (TLC)
10 PM EST –
Leah Remini: Scientolgy (A&E) – finale
Ladies of London (Bravo)
Chopped (Food Network)
Kate Plus 8 (TLC) – finale
11 PM EST –
WWHL (Bravo) – Lisa Edelstein and Kim Richards
Photo Credit: Alexander Tamargo/WireImage
The post Open Post & Link Love – The Kardashians Get Robbed AGAIN appeared first on Reality Tea.
Apparently a lotta y’all wanted to watch Dorit Kemsley shut Eileen Davidson down on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Either that or there is an utter fascination with whatever is happening under Erika Girardi‘s skirt, because last week’s episode of RHOBH pulled in an enormous number of viewers.
Bravo PR tweeted that last week’s episode (which also introduced us to Eden Sassoon) “was the most watched ep in nearly 5 yrs w 3.3MM viewers.”
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For comparisons sake that’s almost Real Housewives Of Atlanta viewership numbers, and the Atlanta ladies are Bravo’s most popular franchise. And for even better comparison-sake, in the midst of last season’s maudlin Lyme-looniness, viewership of RHOBH was hovering around just over a million viewers at one point. In fact last season Vanderpump Rules had usually had higher or equal viewership to Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills!
RELATED – Eileen Finds Dorit & PK “Appalling”!
Let’s see how Bravo’s wealthiest zip codes do tonight with the dramatic conclusion to last week’s Luncheon From Hell at Camille Grammer‘s house.
Then if that blast from bad party’s past isn’t bad enough, Kyle Richards decides to host a game night part deux and she includes her sister Kim Richards in the guest list. Can we say Bad Ideas by Bravo?!
RELATED – Kim Richards Saved By Rescuing Horses?
While a game of charades turns to raunchy fun that seems like a great ice breaker for this group after all the tension, Kim and Lisa Rinna eventually butt heads and end up reigniting their drama about Kim’s past behavior. Meanwhile tempers flare again between Dorit and Eileen over unresolved issues from Camille’s luncheon. And we know how Eileen never likes to let anything go…
Make sure to join us in the comments.
TELL US – DID YOU LOVE LAST WEEK’S EPISODE? IS DORIT RHOBH’S MAGIC TOUCH?
[Photo Credit: Richie Knapp/Bravo]
The post Last Week’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Pulls In Record Number Of Viewers! appeared first on Reality Tea.
She got only a brief introduction on last week's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but Eden Sassoon's second episode will see her step into the thick of the drama, giving...
Shawn Hunter has a lot on his mind. In a new interview, Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame got candid about the differences between the ABC series he starred on and the spinoff, Girl Meets...
As if the final moments of The Walking Dead's midseason finale didn't drive home the idea that Rick Grimes is finally ready to fight back against Negan, these photos from the upcoming...If Bravo tricked you into checking out Summer House by adroitly tucking it onto the end of Vanderpump Rules, then you are in luck because here is a recap.
If you haven’t yet been wooed by the idea of men-children in tight white chinos paired with pastel polo shirts, then I implore you to tune in OnDemand, if only to better appreciate this recap. Because taking a cue from any good Bravolebrity, everything is about Me! Me! Me! Even Summer House. Last night we got our first taste of Montauk living from a bunch of late-twenty/early-thirty something New Yorkers who spend their summers in a rented mansion partying, playing girls (and each other), and wearing pastels.
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You can meet the cast of Summer House here.
During the week, they return to Manhattan to toil away in the sweat and the heat and the dark colors until jitneying (or in this case carpooling) back to Montauk for boozy brunches, drunken dinners, and sloshed swimming. If it sounds like the early seasons of Vanderpump Rules, that’s because it seems to be the point. And for that reason alone I am loving it. The one thing I am not loving are the wardrobes. Especially of the boys. I have never been one to appreciate so-called Hamptons chic, or the Northeastern beach wardrobes of prepster yacht clubs, especially when its donned as a costume as is the case with this crew.
Summer House opens in the first weekend of July, for what is apparently some sort of pre-Fourth of July celebrations. The crew reserved their house in February, and now, six months later, things have changed: from relationship statuses to friendships, to wants, desires, and needs. The Wirkus twins, Lauren and Ashley, who are clearly the centrals of the show, are doomed to sharing the master bedroom together because they need 7-8 hours of beauty sleep and therefore are not ‘party-friendly’. They make up for it by wearing thong bikinis and push-up bras. These girls are a tall drink of rosé – and rosé is what everyone is drinking this Montauk season (well at least in Lauren and Ashley’s minds).
So let’s meet the rest of the cast. First there is Kyle Cooke who made a splash – or, should I say, made a sink – when he insulted Stassi Schroeder‘s turtleneck swimsuit during a Montauk ritual known as Sloppy Sunday. The idea is to drink all day and night on Sunday, then wake up at the crack of dawn on Monday to drive back to NYC for a five (or four) day work-week, because “unlike those L.A. girls we actually have to work” explains Kyle. Except after a night of partying with Tequila Katie, the earliest Monday morning riser is Carl Radke, who doesn’t wake up until 8 am.
I have no idea what Carl does, but he’s from Pittsburgh and he’s the ‘new guy’ of the Summer House crew, which is anchored by Kyle and the Wirkus twins.
Ashley and Lauren are 6 feet-tall and from Cali. Ashley is married, but her hubby is back in SoCal while she spends her final summer in NYC. Lauren is hopelessly single, despite boasting a G-bra size and mile-long legs. She picks the wrong men every time. A tradition which will seemingly extend to Carl, who Lauren has the hots for instantly. She frets about how to handle their instant chemistry, while Carl sneaks out at night to hook up with a random.
RELATED – Wirkus Twins Party In Cabo With Pump Rules Cast
On the first night of the first official weekend in the house, everyone makes their “summer social goals” (Kyle’s is to be less invested in bromances and more invested in hook-ups). He makes progress towards this by staying out partying until 4 am, then skinny-dipping and beer goggling with his ex-girlfriend, whom he dumped just to be single for his final Montauk summer before “growing up.” He dubs himself the last single millennial in Manhattan (or Montauk), and apparently requires a last-hurrah of boozing before Botox begins.
Kyle and Carl dub their hook-up differences, playing a “home game” vs. an “away game.” Carl prefers the away because he enjoys being the lone wolf whose movements can’t easily be tracked. More likely the Big Bad Wolf – all the better to eat you out with, ladies! Lauren has some mighty long legs to entangle him with, though.
While Carl is on the prowl as every woman’s worst Montauk nightmare (coming to Lifetime next year), Kyle by comparison declares himself a benevolent player because he only juggles one or two girls at once, which he feels just a teeny bit bad about deep within his conscience. How kind! Lauren and Ashley believe Carl’s problem is that he’s only lived in NYC two years and hasn’t sufficiently tasted all two million flavors.
I feel like Carl suffers from an inferiority complex overcompensating with false bravado. Carl grew up blue-collar and has been trying to make up for it ever since by bedding every girl he sees and playing the role of NYC player to the stereotypical hilt. Unlike the early seasons of Vanderpump Rules, these cats are more polished, much more educated and worldly, and after living in cutthroat NYC as a singledom for years, they’re much savvier about how the manipulative game is played. They also take themselves more seriously.
The relationship in the house is occupied by Everett Weston and Lindsay Hubbard, who are newly coupled yet obsessed with showing off the legitimacy of their coupledom. They are love blind and PDA-filled, and it’s making everyone pissy – especially Kyle, because Everett was previously his best wing man, but also Christina Gibson, who is Lindsay’s roommate back in NYC. Christina is sick of hearing about Everrett-this and Everett-that, so after Lindsay loses her sunblock but refuses to go look for it, Christina confronts her about brain on Everett while shopping in Kyle By AleneToo (YUCK).
Lindsay snootily decides Christina is jealous she snagged Everett and is no longer single, because previously she was Christina’s “eternal plus-1.”
Christina and Lindsay originally met in L.A., and then moved to NYC together. The Wirkus twins deduce that it’s too much togetherness to share a NYC apartment and a summer house, and Everett is the straw that broke the selfish roommate’s back. Everett, as it turns out, was friends with Lindsay and Christina for years before he and Lindsay decided to finally be a couple – two months in, they’re already talking wedding and engagement. This is not kosher for Kyle. He’s got the serious concerns that Everett is throwing away his precious few days of remaining youth on the girl they used to hook-up with meaninglessly.
Everett has the most interesting story of the group. As a former Iraq war veteran who narrowly avoided being seriously injured by shrapnel, he admits to having a hard time adjusting to NYC life after he returned. It seems like he grew up with money? He also seems sensitive and kind underneath, and he tears up while relaying his military days to Carl, who doesn’t know him well. Kyle and Everett are close friends and it appears to be a bromance to rival the Toms as Kyle consoles an emotional Everett on the balcony. Oh, I do love a good bromance, even if it’s one in fitted khakis!
The omniscient narrator of the cast is Stephen McGee, whom I’m gonna go ahead and assume is gay? At the very least he’s in some sort of long-distance relationship, which means he pairs off instantly with Ashley to provide social commentary on all the shenanigans while behaving adult-ishly. Stephen finds #Sarcasm “World’s Happiest Couple” (Everett and Lindsay) fake and annoying, and hopes Carl can be trustworthy with Lauren’s affections, although Ashley has serious doubts.
But Carl has been perfecting his American Psycho routine for years. After returning home from a hookup at 6 am, he does a boys brunch with Kyle and Everett where he smugly recounts how he dumped his rich girlfriend on a private jet moments before she almost duped him into proposing. He had even hired a skywriter to pen “Will You Marry Me?” across the sky. His reason: he knew the ex wasn’t the type of girl he could live in a cardboard box with. More than likely she wanted to keep his lone wolf in a gilded cage.
RELATED – Montauk Residents Want Summer House Canceled!
Everett swells with pride that what he has with Lindsay is “cardboard box material.” In response, Kyle sneers openly. Carl merely excuses himself to go throw himself at a table full of girls celebrating a birthday, because he’s definitely not ready to fill his cardboard box. I predict, however, that if he breaks anything on Lauren, Ashley will be packing a box for him and kicking him out of Summer House!
I can’t decide it Carl is cute or not? He’s got funny ears, but he’s also got a shameless cockiness that in some small ways makes him look hot? However, the wardrobes of these men is the deal-breaker for me every time. For all Stassi’s giggling for stripes and navy, I’m gagging.
On the second night in the house, the group celebrates Fourth Of July with tacos. And after watching fireworks from their balcony they hit the club where Carl focuses on Lauren as Ashley and Stephen observe from the sidelines. Lauren muses that when she likes someone she’s “all in” – that’s where the issue lies, because when Carl likes someone, he’s only temporarily in (and out), then permanently out.
Despite everyone’s concerns about hooking up with a housemate, Lauren breaks her own rules and spends a drunken night in Carl’s bed.
We haven’t met other housemate Jaclyn Shuman, who I think turns up next week.
TELL US – DID YOU WATCH SUMMER HOUSE? WHAT DO YOU THINK SO FAR?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Summer House Premiere Recap: The Rules Of Montauk appeared first on Reality Tea.
It’s nomination day in Celebrity Big Brother house. The housemates get to nominate for the first time and things are about to get real.
But before those fun and games, we open to Coleen Nolan, James Jordan, and Calum Best discussing the argument last night. Coleen explains that she was just trying to make Jamie O’Hara feel better and apologizes for upsetting him. Calum explains his point, that it was just another label he had wanted to escape from in the house, and that he understands now why it was all said. It was all very civilized and British, and everyone is happy and lovely again.
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We go straight to nominations. Our edited-out housemates (Stacy Francis, Bianca Gascoigne, Brandon Block, Ray J, and James Cosmo) lost the rights to nominate, James C has already been put up, and Jedward are immune from this round.
This is how it goes:
Calum – Stacy (loud and abrupt) and Speidi (determination to win means they try to provoke drama – they win by making other people lose)
Jasmine Waltz – Stacy (invasive of personal space and questions) and Brandon (boring)
Jamie – James J (he said that Jamie had no balls in front of everyone) and Stacy (loud and attention grabbing)
James J – Stacy (fiery and confrontational) and Austin (flipped unnecessarily and a bit sensitive)
We interrupt the nominations to have a bit of a house catch-up. Coleen and Austin Armacost are talking to Jasmine about her flirting again. She’s really getting some grief about this – she gets called out for touching Calum’s leg all the time. Now, I’m no fan of Jasmine, her appearance last time was awful and she was a definite mean girl, but she’s done nothing wrong here.
Coleen explains that she herself flirts with the boys but that obviously means nothing as there’s no way she would go there (that’s because you don’t have the option, woman!). However, she doesn’t feel Jasmine should act the same. (Is that because she’s younger and more attractive, Coleen? Surely that means the problem is not with Jasmine’s behavior, if it’s the same as your own, but with yourself? Stop being all passive aggressive!).
Jasmine takes it well. She’s actually being quite reasonable in the house so far, and she is definitely improving her image, which shed wanted to do. Girl done good!
Austin, Nicola McLean, Bianca, Calum, and Heidi Pratt are in the bedroom while Jedward are practicing crowd surfing in the living room into a mound of cushions and watched by Stacy. One of them starts peeling an orange and throwing it on the floor. Nicola goes in for the kill, only to discover there was actually a table hidden from view that he was actually throwing it on to clear up later… a bit awkward. She skulks away to rant another day.
Jamie is telling a tale of one of his teammates who, when Jamie started talking to a girl he liked, took his phone and changed her numbers to his own without Jamie realizing. Whilst Jamie was ‘smooth-talking’ what he thought was said girl, his team mate was getting the messages and replying. Things turned dirty and Jamie arranged to meet ‘the girl’ for some hotel fun. Went to the room, opened it, and all his teammates, coaches, and so on were there waiting for him! #moodkiller #thatswhatfriendsarefor
And on that note, back to nominations:
Colleen – Ray J (he’s not interested in talking to other housemates) and Angie (looks amazing and acts healthily and puts Colleen to shame, also feels under pressure not to nominate her as its Calum’s mum)
Nicola – Ray J (sleeps too much) and Angie (too much health talk)
Jedward – Austin (moody and goes from likeable Austin to argumentative Austin) and Jasmine (not genuine)
Austin – Stacy (doesn’t enjoy spending time with her) and Speidi (doesn’t like them – no secret there)
Angie – Speidi (Spencer told her he would win this, and he antagonises everyone) and Austin (on the emotional edge and ‘turns’)
Speidi – Austin (yelled at Heidi) and Bianca (started Watergate, gives Heidi dirty looks)
No real shockers there. As much as I liked him the first time around, Austin has been moody and snippy, so I’m not surprised he has been called out for that. Nominations will be announced to the house later in the evening, so for now, everyone is in the dark.
Stacy is in the kitchen with housemates discussing her love life/namedropping again. She reveals the first person that ever broke her heart was Wesley Snipes, whom she dated for a year. Apparently, he has the biggest penis she has ever seen and sex would hurt. Thanks for that, Stacy. #canseewhatyouredoing #keepingrelevanttoavoideviction
Coleen and James C are in the garden and discussing the other housemates. James is astounded about the level of self-obsession in the house, and whether he made the right decision going in the house with regards to his career. Colleen seems surprised at the comment of self-obsession but takes it to mean appearance wise. No, Colleen, he means you only think about yourself. It’s funny to see that she doesn’t actually even register this as an option, as she’s clearly perfect. Hey ho.
And here we go, nominations are announced. This week, we have Stacy (5 nominations), Austin (4), Speidi (3), Ray J (2), and Angie (2). Now that’s got to hurt, especially for Stacy and Austin, who got more than Speidi.
Everyone puts a brave face on, and it’s hugs all around. Except Stacy, who didn’t get the memo, and goes straight to her bed, looking ready to cry. Bianca may not notice horses and raves, but she notices Stacy’s upset and goes to comfort her. The fact that five people nominated her is upsetting her more than anything, and she doesn’t understand why. Speidi only getting three is the killer.
Austin is in the diary room trying to work it out. In his last season, he went four or five votes without nominations, so he expected the same this season. So to be the 3rd disliked person is a teeth kicker.
Then we introduce alcohol into the house. And Austin in a mood – a recipe for disaster. Austin and Bianca have a bicker about her name, and Stacy is now in the diary room talking it out. She actually says that she thinks Jasmine voted for her because she sees her as a threat with the boys. Say what??? I hear James C’s voice (“I am the Lord Commander” – no not that, “self-obsessed” – that’s the one) ringing in my ears.
Stacy makes the mistake of going into the bathroom with Austin, who sits in his pants, with red wine and vodka and coke next to him, trying to string a sentence together. Not a good look, made even worse with the stuff he was saying, or more importantly the way he was saying it. This guy is such a miserable chicken since last season. Maybe the relationship breakdown has bittered him up. He tells Stacy she’s up Ray’s ass and acts like she’s on stage and loud. Like Speidi tells Big Brother in the Diary Room, it has really got to Austin getting nominated by more than Speidi were.
Austin goes out in the garden to get the housemates to have a hot tub party. He wears the skimpiest pants in the world. I think he may have smuggled another house mate in those things. It’s clear he is trying to put on a brave face, but James J does his normal wind up and brings up that he got more votes than Spencer and Heidi. He bats it off at first, but James presses the point. Austin wisely walks away.
Nicola and Jamie are having a bit of a snuggle with cute little pecks and touching. Jamie says nothing would happen, as he is friends with her husband. Most of the housemates are worse for wear and Nicola just seems desperate for affection. She seems to be the one initiating everything and is clearly drunk, but Jamie’s little message to the camera directed to Tom (her husband) shows that he’s more than mindful of how it looks.
Jamie tells Nicola to go to bed. Nicola tells him to join her in bed when the lights go out to ‘re-assure’ her. That’s a new one. Jamie tells her no, and moves quickly. Now, bearing in mind, Nicola and her husband haven’t been reunited too long after his reported infidelity, I’m not sure Nicola is just using this as a weapon to get back at him and that it will genuinely come to nothing. Only time, and the next episode, will tell.
TELL US – WERE YOU SURPRISED BY THE NOMINATIONS? WHO WOULD YOU HAVE NOMINATED?
Photo Credit: Channel 5
AUTHOR: NICKI M.
The post Celebrity Big Brother Recap: Day 6 – Nominations appeared first on Reality Tea.
The final 10 episodes of Pretty Little Liars are nearly upon us, but it sounds like the ride is hardly over. The cast and creators addressed reporters during the TV Critics'...On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, we learned that Stassi Schroeder‘s problems with men run deep. Like down in the beautiful, briny sea deep. She’s also being strangled in turtleneck-form by her own ill-advised hubris.
Now, I must do a disclaimer with this recap: Do not expect my usual greatness of prose mixed with pearls of wisdom, as I have the worst cold I have ever had in my human existence. And I feel like garbage. Like what Tequila Katie (minus Tom 2) may smear on Scheana Marie‘s overly-contoured face.
Can we talk about Scheana? Ho-ly does that girl need a ‘stink face’ removal procedure. Didn’t anyone warn her that her face will freeze that way if she makes a poop face immediately after getting Botox? I mean, I get it – she has a hard-earned summer body to protect, but lighten up and eat a lil’ clam. I hear Kristen Doute loves them.
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Despite not really knowing if Montauk is a place or some kind of app, or if navy blue really only happens in conjunction with stripes, or what exactly a WASP is in the socioeconomic lexicon of America, Kristen is in Montauk trying not to talk about how she doesn’t understand that people have, like, jobs and stuff that they, like, go to, and that vacations are not a lifestyle. Unless you semi-work on a reality show after being forcibly retired from your waitress job, that is. Hard times befall us all, and for some, those hard times are paying for their luxuries with a real job.
No one has harder times than Stassi and Katie, who cannot pry open a ‘hair of the dog’ beer with a lighter, or figure out why Stassi is repulsive to men. Katie postulates – shockingly astutely – that it’s because Stassi’s priorities in life are herself and dead people, preferably dead people she may have killed, while she radiates fake life via a weekly spray tan. This is just… such an oxymoron.
Back on the west coast, RV living is not much easier. Jax Taylor‘s balls are on full display through the constantly opened door of the shower without water (reminds me of hostel showers in Europe where you had to stand on a toilet to adjust the overhead nozzle and make sure the TP was outside the door or it would get soaked and clog the drain in the center of floor).
Tom 1 and Tom 2 are playing their favorite game of See Jax Flash. See Jax’s Pee Pee as it pokes through the door. See Jax’s pee-pee as we wrestle him to the floor as they keep yanking open the shower to throw stuff at him. However, Jax’s favorite game consists of telling Brittany Cartwright how she’s a failure at life. Finally, the reason Jax and Brittany are together: she puts up with him and makes him feel better about his pathetic self after years of being with Stassi. Apparently, Jax has un-maiming of the shrew PTSD. He shouldn’t take his bad karma out on Brittany, though. Because, for as much as Jax deserved both Stassi and Kristen, Brittany does not deserve Jax. Instead, she is a sweet girl who needs a crash course on feminism.
Given that Kentucky is a different country all together than L.A. – one repressed, stuck in a different era, and cut-off from many modern amenities – Brittany is practically a mail order bride Jax yanked from Hooters. All Brittany knows is the little myopic world of sunny Cali he’s provided her. A world Jax believes she should thank him for endlessly – in the form of turkey sandwiches. Dude. TURKEY IS NOT A LUXURY ITEM.
Jax is seriously obsessed with sandwiches. Turkey sandwiches to be exact, and he seems to think Brittany’s only role in life is to provide them, endlessly, like she’s Rosie from the Jetsons, or a puppet he built from the boobs up for his companionship. Every time he tells a lie, Brittany’s boobs increase in cup size. Except, Brittany wants to be a real, live girl, who has a brain and a heart, and maybe some ham. Newsflash Jax: Brittany can return the boobs – just get the implants taken out and get the ones she wants put in. Now that she’s working at SUR, she’ll be able to buy her own damn boobs, which you can’t volunteer to flash on her behalf because you “paid for them.” Worse, he presumes that because he pays more of their bills, he ‘owns’ Brittany.
Jax’s treatment of Brittany is so embarrassing that Tom 1 and Tom 2 wind up giving him relationship advice about appreciating Brittany as a woman and learning to compromise. When Tom 1 is an enlightened feminist…
Jax doesn’t take their advice, although a little seed is planted in Brittany‘s mind. Jax blames the L.A. influence of all these fast and fresh girls he’s exposed Brittany to for her repeated failure of sandwich preparation, and sure enough, Ariana Madix educates Brittany on what a “misogynist” is. Hint: It is found in Montauk but it doesn’t give massages!
When they get back to L.A., $10 says Jax is gonna trap Brittany in the kitchen for a little YouTube crash course on how to please your man one sandwich at a time. Meanwhile, he’ll poop with the door open while hollering for a beer and a comic book. I’m starting a Free Brittany campaign – who’s with me?!
RELATED – Jax Loves Sandwiches For Life!
In L.A., Lisa Vanderpump finally locates Lala Kent underneath the rubble of rumors surrounding her. Lala cries that everyone is so mean and that’s why she tells lies. She insists again that she’s not dating a married man – in fact she’s never even heard of him. Lala hints that Lisa is allowing the rumors about her to perpetuate, thus making her workplace hostile. Lala tries to quit SUR because of this. And what Lala wants to do, Lala does – including narrate Lala’s behaviors in third person. Is that like Lala admitting she has multiple personalities: One Night In Lala Land – LaLa vs. Little Girl Lost and Needing Love Lala?
Adept at subtle manipulation as she is, Lisa convinces Lala not to leave, and deftly deflects herself from any culpability in the notion that Lala is being bullied in the workplace. Lisa is not being fair – she can’t just say, ‘Oh Lala gives as good as she gets’ or ‘Lala likes to be provocative, then run.’ Lisa needs to emphatically put a stop to Katie and Scheana leading a smear-campaign. And when Lala comes to her with complaints that Jax is calling her a whore in front of a full restaurant, Lisa needs to take action. That is a hostile work environment. Who Lala is dating – married man or not – is NONE of their business. She is their co-worker. Furthermore, Jax and Scheana have a closet full of skeletons.
Back in Montauk, Stassi announces that Lauren and Ashley Wirkus (of Summer House) have invited them all to a clambake/Stassi’s birthday celebration. Stassi and friends don’t know what a clambake is – Kristen thinks it’s a pig roast, Katie thinks it’s a lesbian orgy, and Stassi just hopes it’s as fabulous as she wants herself to be.
Scheana doesn’t eat anything with claws (so she doesn’t eat chicken?), as she explains while clacking her 4″ claw-nails. Stassi eats plenty of things with claws, starting with Scheana, who she vows to eat alive, then spit out her nails if she doesn’t behave in front of Stassi’s new classy friends. The clambake consists of a fully-catered lobster bake (no clams?), served with plastic forks and bibs, washed down with a magnum of rosé, which is apparently the thing everyone must now drink and talk abut drinking ad nauseam. I thought rosé had its moment years ago? Either it’s back, or I’m wrong and it hadn’t peaked before, but I don’t like wine (I know, I know…).
Scheana doesn’t drink wine, but she certainly whines that she doesn’t eat “food like this” (meaning lobster), proving that she needs an etiquette course as badly as Brittany needs a women’s studies one. Down the table, Stassi is marinating in the juices of her own preserved fabulosity and declares Montauk her spirit place. Because, stripes, fanciness, and people she thinks are of her stripe… (aka wannabe classy and fabulous).
When they turn up at the Summer House mansion for a midnight pool party, Stassi makes a gaffe on par with Tom 1 asking a NASCAR driver to sign his flatiron (true story): she wears a white turtleneck one-piece. In an attempt to entice men and be fashionable. OK, it was unflattering as hell. It was like a Dickie in swimsuit form. Or worse, the top half of a swimsuit from a polygamous compound?
RELATED – Eternally Single Stassi?
Eventually, Stassi finds herself in the hot tub with Kyle, who drank about half the magnum of rosé on his own and can’t tell his own white prepster chinos from Stassi’s own white-turtlenecked-ass. Stassi (or “Sauci” as he keeps calling her) believes Kyle has the hots for her, until he forgets her name and compares her to Steve Jobs in a bathing suit courtesy of the turtleneck. Stassi tries lecturing Kyle about how not to pick up girls, but the only thing Kyle picks up on is that Stassi’s nipples are visible through her swimsuit. Meanwhile, Tequila Katie terrorizes the kitchen and Scheana by twisting the carrot stick up Scheana’s butt after swirling it in whipped cream.
How happy is Katie away from Tom 2? How happy is Tom 2 away from Katie? How happy are the crew at NASCAR, in their free-wheeling poop-clogged RV, with Ariana and Tom 1 doing fake ‘Ricky Bobby’ porn on the Ferris Wheel, and Tom 2 declaring that he has found his inner man-child? How happy is this birthday bunch compared to the oppressive Stassi Schroeder Regime dominating Montauk, where no one is allowed to talk or breathe, or eat or wear bathing suit attire without her directives. Except for Kyle. Kyle does what Kyle wants. And what Kyle wants is to finger gun the air while axing Stassi from one-night stand status by declaring her Steve Jobs of the pool. Stassi is fascinated with ghosts, so perhaps he meant well?
After sobbing in the hot tub, where her tears for fears of eternal singledom mix with the over-chlorinated water, Stassi reappears in the kitchen to find Kyle complaining about her swimsuit – again. Why do I feel like Tequila Katie and Kyle are soulmates and she just needs to hide out in Montauk and make it work with Kyle one drunken embarrassment at a time?
Instead, Stassi gathers her gaggle of oppressed females and hauls them out of Summer House, back to the yacht club where her influence reigns supreme. There, if Stassi says a turtleneck swimsuit is hot, it is right? NOT! Who wants a wet piece of nylon choking you in pool? Plus that maillot was so tight it probably also gave her cameltoe – or in Montauk-speak ‘clam-eltoe’.
And that’s all folks – I’ll be here all day (cause I’m also recapping Summer House).
TELL US – TURTLENECK SWIMSUIT: HOT OR NOT? MORE OPPRESSIVE DICTATOR: JAX OR STASSI? BETTER BIRTHDAY: ARIANA OR STASSI?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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Meghan King Edmonds has been reveling in her role as new mommy ever since baby girl Aspen was born – her first biological child with hubby Jim Edmonds. But make no mistake! The Real Housewives Of Orange County star hasn’t put all of the show’s drama behind her. In particular, costar Vicki Gunvalson is still a hot topic of conversation and a perpetual thorn in her side.
Meghan dishes on Vicki – and much, much more – in a recent interview on The Domenick Nati Show. But first, Meghan has some ideas about adding fresh blood to the RHOC cast. Friends with Audrina Patridge from The Hills, Meghan says that Audrina would make a great Real Housewife. “I’d love it! She has a baby; she’s my age. Right there, that’s a lot in common. She breastfed, I breastfed.” Mmmkay. Twinsies, then!
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When asked about Vicki’s topless photo that traumatized people far and wide circulated the internet two months ago, Meghan recounts the original moment Vicki bared her bosoms. “The setting she did it in was completely inappropriate (we were out to dinner), but that’s Vicki. She’s completely inappropriate. I mean, you kind of gotta consider the person you’re talking about.”
Meghan thinks this type of behavior is par for the course for Vicki, who she says is “an attention seeker.” Meghan interviews that “she’s really dramatic,” adding that whatever behavior will draw the most attention to her – whether good or bad – Vicki will do it. “That’s totally Vicki,” says Meghan. “I don’t think Vicki really sees herself for who she is a lot of the time.”
Meghan also (obviously) thinks the “faking cancer thing is really effed up.”
Asked who her favorite Housewife is across the entire franchise, Meghan sidesteps: “I don’t watch TV.” But she does finally offer up Real Housewives Of New York’s Carole Radziwill as her fave. Meghan says her brother and Carole “co-parent a dog together.” WHAH!? I guess Baby is a canine who splits time between the ‘rents?
RELATED: Meghan Responds To Mommy Shamers On Social Media
Meghan has NO issue revealing who her least favorite Housewife is: Nene Leakes! She describes the former Real Housewives Of Atlanta star as “extremely intimidating” and “kinda nasty.” BLOOP.
Also dishing on celebrities outside of the Housewife realm that she hasn’t enjoyed meeting, Meghan slams Kid Rock as a “masochist and a chauvinist.” She says, “We got into it a little bit, and then he apologized. I mean, he’s extremely talented, but it kind of changed the way I think about lyrics and songs now after meeting him, I think about lyrics differently.”
Meghan and Jim met Kid Rock in Idaho, where the couple have a house – and apparently, mutual friends with the rock star. Meghan doesn’t go into details about their run-in, vaguely explaining, “I think he was just drunk and kind of pulling the whole rock star persona” at a party they attended together. Aw, come on, Meghan! SPILL!
Well, whatever the music star’s misdeeds were, they’ll likely never match Vicki’s, who recently announced her return to RHOC’s season 12, which has already begun filming. Rumors are circulating that Kelly Dodd may be out next season, and that a new Housewife (possibly Brianna Stanko) might be thrown to the wolves in the mix. No official word on Meghan’s return yet, but I’ll admit I did a 180 on her last season. I’d like to see her stick around, if only to resurrect her super-hero detective skills when it comes to digging up dirt on Vicki!
TELL US: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MEGHAN EDMONDS BACK ON RHOC NEXT SEASON? ARE YOU SURPRISED ABOUT HER FEELINGS ON NENE, KID ROCK, OR AUDRINA?
Photo Credit: Instagram
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