We've reached another season finale of The Voice, and with that comes a new winner! Tonight, the final four sang their hearts out in multiple performances of original songs, covers,...
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Minnie Driver is not feeling Matt Damon’s comments – Celebitchy
James Packer pays Mariah a big “settlement” and they agree to zip it – Dlisted
Bristol Palin’s brother arrested again – Dlisted
This Breaking Amish couple is back on – Starcasm
8 PM EST –
Great Christmas Light Fight (ABC) – finale
The Voice (NBC)
90 Day Fiance (TLC) – finale and tell all
Love & Hip Hop (VH1)
9 PM EST –
Vanderpump Rules (Bravo)
Holiday Baking Championship (Food Network) – finale
Teen Mom OG (MTV)
10 PM EST –
Relationshep (Bravo)
Christmas Cookie Challenge (Food Network) – finale
Floribama Shore (MTV)
11 PM EST –
WWHL (Bravo) – Jamie Bell and Jeff Lewis
Photo Credit: Michael Kovac/Getty Images for IFC Films
The post Monday Night Tea & Tonight’s Reality TV Schedule – December 18th appeared first on Reality Tea.
Ready to go back to Dunder Mifflin? NBC is reportedly planning to revive The Office, according to TVLine. Steve Carell will not be returning as Michael Scott, but the new series would...
It was always going to be hard to top season 42. Saturday Night Live hit a serious stride with its 2016-2017 season, both thanks to the insane news cycle (and the excitement of election...
Sophia Bush stunned fans when she left Chicago PD following its fourth season. Bush remained mum on her decision to leave the hit NBC police drama aside from an Instagram comment, "because I...
We are only two episodes into Season 6 of Vanderpump Rules, but it already seems like there has been a drastic change (for the better) in Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney’s relationship. Usually drama makes for great TV, but the relationship was tough to watch during Season 5.
Now the newlyweds are opening up about married life and Schwart’z behavior now that he is a husband.
In an interview with Us Weekly, Katie declared, “We’re doing amazing. Married life is pretty damn blissful, but it’s still work.” She also admitted, “We still have things that we’re working on and old habits.”
Schwartz joked, “She keeps me on a short leash. But that’s my own doing.” Even though Schwartz is the most likable person on the show, it does make sense that Katie would have some concerns. she even said, “He’s been embracing his frat boy ways a little bit.” That’s for sure.
Schwartz said, “I’ve been more or less on my best behavior.” Katie point out the obvious: “You just party like one.” Yes he does and it makes for great TV, but it has to be a little tough to deal with when that’s your husband.
Tonight is an all new episode of Vanderpump Rules. Bravo promises: Brittany’s girlfriends put aside their differences and throw a Kentucky-themed party to help cure her heartache, but the group learns Jax’s indiscretion may not have been a one-time thing. When Ariana gets thrown off of her horse during practice, she must learn how to get back in the saddle. Lala returns to SUR to ask for Lisa’s forgiveness—and her old job.
Join us here in the comments to live-snark our way through it!
TELL US- SHOULD KATIE KEEP SCHWARTZ ON A SHORT LEASH ? WILL TOM & KATIE GO THE DISTANCE AS A COUPLE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Tom Schwartz Says Katie Maloney “Keeps Him On A Short Leash”; Katie Thinks Tom Is “Embracing His Frat Boy Ways” appeared first on Reality Tea.
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The boss is back. Tyra Banks makes her triumphant return to host America's Next Top Model, now in its second revival season on VH1, on Tuesday, Jan. 9 and in addition to Rita Ora's...
With just a little over 24 hours to go until The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns for its highly-anticipated eighth season, there's just one thing missing: The taglines. Until...
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are welcoming back a few familiar faces for season eight. There's OG Camille Grammer, returning in an official Friend of the Housewives capacity,...Even though Kim Zolciak is just making cameo appearances on Real Housewives of Atlanta, she is definitely earning those paychecks. She is stirring up the drama every single time she appears. At this point in the season, Kim’s main nemesis is Kenya Moore – a total reach considering the source of their beef is Kenya walking into Sheree Whitfield’s unfinished basement.
Everyone who follows the RHOA drama in the off-season knows that Kim is at odds with NeNe Leakes again, but during the last Watch What Happens Live episode, Kim threw some major shade at Cynthia Bailey – of all people. She is doing the most for those extra checks, which is a lot more than some of the full-time cast members can say.
Anderson Cooper was on Watch What Happens Live and he couldn’t help asking Kim, “Why do you hate Kenya so much?” Kim admitted, “I don’t even know her, but when I was at Sheree’s housewarming party, I said, ‘Don’t walk around somebody’s house, the basement is not finished, it’s not your place.’ And she was like ‘Why don’t you worry about your husband getting a job?’ And it all blew up.” That is one of the lamest reasons to strongly dislike someone.
Andy Cohen asked Kim, “What was your reaction to NeNe saying you egged Kenya on?” Kim said, “You’re seeing ten minutes of a hour party. We were talking smack in the kitchen a little bit.” Andy said, “If you were talking smack in the kitchen, I’m wondering why we didn’t show it.” Probably because it didn’t happen. Kim told him, “You should show it.” If that actually happened, I would love to see it.
During a game, Andy asked Kim, “Can you let it go that Kenya said you have six kids by three different people?” Kim hit the newlywed where it hurts and said, “No, it’s none of her business. She can’t even have one.” Damn. I’m expecting social media shade from Kenya in 5…4…3…2…1….
One person that Kim actually does like on RHOA is her girl Sheree. A caller asked Kim, “What do you think about Sheree’s boyfriend being in prison and maybe being a con-man?” Kim said, “Well, I look at it this way: Sheree’s a very closed off person after all the stuff that she’s been through. I’ve been friends with Sheree for almost fifteen years so I know her prior to all the madness that she went through with her ex husband. So for Sheree to be able to open up and trust somebody, it just took somebody that she can connect with kind of more emotionally than somebody always trying to sexually approach her.”
And then Kim was basically forced into shading Cynthia when she was asked, “Do you agree with NeNe and think that Cynthia just follows Kenya’s orders?” Kim said, “Cynthia follows anybody. She’s like a puppet. Cynthia is just so beautiful that she should just smile and not speak.” Kim tried to save that answer with a pseudo-compliment at the end, but it didn’t quite work out.
RELATED: Kim Zolciak Ready For Baby Number 7; Is Done With NeNe Leakes Forever
TELL US – IS CYNTHIA A PUPPET? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON: KIM’S OR KENYA’S?
Photo Credit: Bravo
The post Kim Zolciak Thinks Cynthia Bailey Is A Puppet Who Follows Anybody appeared first on Reality Tea.
Brittany Cartwright is opening up about her relationship with Jax Taylor. The Vanderpump Rules star was a guest on E!'s Daily Pop Monday and talked to Erin Lim and Justin Sylvester...
The fun perk about working at SUR or even “working” at SUR on Vanderpump Rules are the famous customers that come into the restaurant. It gets even cooler when bona fide celebrities are actually super fans of the reality stars that are on the show.
As an OG Vanderpump Rules cast member, Jax Taylor has met plenty of A-list celebrities, but Lady Gaga is the one who had a pretty odd request for him.
During an appearance on The Morning Breath, Jax shared, “I went to dinner with Lisa [Vanderpump] and Lady Gaga one time.” That is a cool enough story on its own, but it gets even more interesting and it involves Jax’s girlfriend Brittany Cartwright. Jax revealed, “She didn’t even say hi or anything. The first thing she said was, ‘Jax, sit down. I need to see a picture of Brittany’s boobs and who is her doctor?'”
Jax added, “What an ice breaker.” It sure was. Did Jax end up showing Gaga a photo though? I have to assume he did, but he didn’t confirm during the episode.
Moving on, Brittany theorized about why she gets along with the rest of the cast: “I think that with those girls they just have some sort of history where things have happened in the past that they just can’t get over or something. I came later so I didn’t have to go through all those drama years that made them dislike each other. I’m friends with them so they try not to talk badly or do things like that. They’ve all been there for me really hardcore this summer, you will see. I just love them all.”
Brittany truly is the saint of SUR. She even gets along with all of Jax’s exes and former hookups – including Stassi Schroeder. Brittany said, “I don’t think it’s weird at all. Everybody thinks it should be weird for me, but I didn’t know them when they were dating. It’s not like me and Stassi were friends before.” Jax interjected with, “And it was years ago and with Rachael too. They were all getting ready in my room last night.” It’s definitely not common, but props to them to them all for getting along.
When asked if everyone in the cast is friends with Lala Kent at this moment, Jax joked, “As long as she doesn’t talk in third person.” I can’t help agreeing with that suggestion. Brittany admitted, “I’m just glad I got to actually know her because I didn’t get a chance. She came across a lot different this time than everybody myself included thought.”
Then the conversation turned to Scheana Marie’s relationship with Robert Valletta. In unison, Jax and Brittany said, “I love Rob.” They were asked if they think Scheana “moved on a little too fast,” and Jax said, “Me personally, in my opinion: yes. I think she should be single for a little bit. I think sometimes she’s a little co-dependent, but a lot of people are.” Brittany pointed out the obvious hypocrisy there: “He told me to move to LA the first night I met him.” That’s just how this crew works, I guess.
Only two episodes into the season and it’s clear that Scheana is all about her new relationship this season and she’s thrown a lot of shade toward her ex Mike Shay. Brittany and Jax were asked if Shay is going to appear on Season 6, they both awkwardly said “oh” in unison, which sounds like a “yes” to me.
TELL US – DID SCHEANA MOVE ON TOO QUICKLY AFTER HER DIVORCE? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BRITTANY GETTING ALONG WITH JAX’S EXES?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
The post Jax Taylor Says Lady Gaga Asked To See A Photo Of Brittany Cartwright’s Boobs appeared first on Reality Tea.
A lot can change in five years. Just ask Arie Luyendyk Jr. After watching Arie have his heart broken by Emily Maynard on The Bachelorette, fans of the franchise haven't seen much of...
The Duggar family continues to grow. Joseph Duggar and Kendra Duggar announced they're expecting their first child in a video message on Monday. "I've always dreamed...
After a pretty breezy first season, Erika Girardi faced some obstacles during her second round on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. With her third season coming up, Erika (and her alter ego Erika Jayne) knows what she’s in for and how to handle the drama.
Erika’s even opening up a little bit more beyond the catsuits and glam squad. Last season, Erika brought the camera crew home to visit her mother. Now she’s discussing that and sharing her advice for anyone else who wants to be a Real Housewife.
In an amazing interview (and Christmas-themed photo shoot) with Paper Magazine, Erika discussed the Real Housewife life. She explained, “It’s not easy. I think that some things should remain private, and they always will. I don’t think that anyone should be a complete and total open book.”
Erika discussed her reluctance to film at her childhood home: “Let’s just take my mother, for example. I did not want to go home, and I had a long conversation with the producers and I said, ‘Listen, this is a very sensitive part of my story, and I need to trust that you guys will help me out here.’ And they really did. They told the story as is, and I appreciate that.”
When asked if production was respectful when it comes to her boundaries, Erika said, “Well, sure. You can only share what you want to share. At the end of the day, you’re a grown person, and you can say no. You can always quit the show. You either want to do it or you don’t.”
Erika’s first season was a good look for her. Last season, she got into some drama which lead to some great GIF’s and memes, so I’m all for it. She explained, “If you’re living in the moment and you’re passionate, and you say something, perhaps it’s meant one way but it comes across another; well, you’re going to live with that. And maybe only you knew what you meant, but well, f-ck it. Too late now.” If it wasn’t for those passionate moments, last season would have been even worse than it already was. So we thank you, Erika.
At this point, Erika seems to have a pretty good handle on being a Real Housewife and she actually has some valuable advice for anyone else who wants to join the franchise: “Shut the f-ck up about things you weren’t there for. ‘Cause you don’t know anybody.” Is that her genuine advice, or is that some foreshadowing for the season to come? I’m hoping it’s a little bit of both. I need some genuine drama after sitting through two blah seasons of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.
After saying that, she wondered, “I’m sorry, is that rude?” She continued, “Believe me, you’re going to have to comment on stuff that happens in front of you, so just wait until that happens. ‘Cause if you go out on a limb, you’re going be the only one out there, honey. And no one’s coming to save you, girl.”
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ERIKA’S ADVICE FOR NEW HOUSEWIVES? ARE YOU HAPPY THAT ERIKA WILL BE BACK FOR A THIRD SEASON?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Erika Girardi’s Advice To New Housewives: “Shut The F*ck Up About Things You Weren’t There For” appeared first on Reality Tea.
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If you thought that the Real Housewives of Atlanta story lines were dramatic, there’s even more going on behind the scenes, especially when it comes to Kenya Moore’s surprise marriage to Marc Daly. At first she refused to film with her new husband. She wouldn’t even share his name during the first few episodes this season and Kim Zolciak is not the only one who is fed up with all the secrecy – allegedly.
Apparently the production team has taken major umbrage with Kenya’s refusal to open up about her marriage on the show. Is the frustration enough for Kenya to lose her peach? It just might be.
According to a report from RadarOnline, Kenya “was going to be fired at the end of the Real Housewives of Atlanta season.” So what does that mean: “was”? Is she fired or not?
An “inside source” alleges that Kenya‘s contract will not be renewed at the end of the season.
According to the report, “No one thinks Kenya has ever told the truth of her personal life. There is nothing going on. Normal people got married, had children, and shared it all with producers on the show.” There are actually plenty of Housewives who have lied and/or hidden their lives, so it’s not like Kenya is the first one to keep a major story line off of the show. Am I cool with it? No. I’m overly invested and need to see as much as I can.
That same source says, “This is Bravo’s #1 show and the producers don’t have access to the story. That doesn’t work.” It really doesn’t. Maybe Kenya will be able to turn things around and get Marc in front of the camera to save her spot on the show.
Aside from disappointment in Kenya‘s lack of openness, she (allegedly) disappointed production and got fined $25,000 for it. A production source shared, “Kenya told us she didn’t tell her Dad that she got married. But she wouldn’t do it on camera. All she would give us was one scene where she spoke on the phone to her dad and we filmed it way later. It wasn’t really when she told him. She just refused to do anything with him about it and we have deadlines to meet. So, since we couldn’t have anything but the car scene in there she lost half and episode’s pay, which was $25,000.”
Damn. That’s harsh, but I guess that’s why Atlanta is the Housewives show that consistently delivers. Maybe the production teams on the other shows should take this approach.
That wasn’t the only time when Kenya was (supposedly) fined though. She got banned from the cast trip to Spain since the “producers were so furious” with her the day before the ladies left. So this means that she won’t get paid for the two episodes focused around the trip and she’s out $100,000, bringing her (alleged) fines to $125,000.
It gets worse though. Production is supposedly doubting Kenya‘s sincerity about starting a family. According to the report, “Unless something compelling changes (and they think the IVF efforts are only for a storyline) she is not coming back at the end of the season.” I would love to know who this “source” is because this is damning information.
Aside from this article, anyone who follows Kenya‘s latest enemy Kim Zolciak on Twitter has seen her incessant posts about Kenya (allegedly) getting fired.
On October 31, Kim tweeted, “Well she should worry about finding a job instead!! Meanwhile Don’t Be Tardy is the #1 unscripted show on cable in its time period!!” On November 26, Kim posted, “Sweetie I’ve been married 6 yrs move on. BUT you call your man ‘baby’ to try and be like me, you have a white Bentley that I had YEARS ago to be like me! Remember Sweetie I’m on 2 shows and you aren’t even on one!! #Fired”
TELL US – DO YOU BELIEVE THAT KENYA WAS FIRED FROM RHOA?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Did Kenya Moore Get Fired From Real Housewives Of Atlanta Because Of Her Secret Marriage? And Fined $125,000 For Refusing To Cooperate With Production? appeared first on Reality Tea.
Tomorrow is the big day: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 8 premieres and we can’t wait for it! The cast got together in West Hollywood last night to celebrate the return of their show.
Hitting the red carpet were our favorite OG cast members: Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump and Camille Grammer. They were joined by returning co-stars Erika Girardi, Dorit Kemsley, Lisa Rinna and newcomer Teddi Mellencamp. A few of the RHOBH husbands hit the red carpet with their wives: Mauricio Umansky, Edwin Arroyave and Camille’s fiance, David C. Meyer.
Check out the photos from the premiere party event below!
Photo Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images
The post Photos: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 8 Premiere Party appeared first on Reality Tea.
There are memorable marriage proposals and then there are marriage proposals that call in Drew Barrymore to help. Netflix came to the aid of Conor who wanted to have a memorable proposal...Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love. Sweet, blessed, shady, soul mate from another realm love. Lord these ladies need a therapist. Call Dr. Jeff back in!
It was another NeNe Leakes-free episode because apparently she is in LA and Bravo cameras are only permitted there if they’re filming Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (which premieres tomorrow night). What are our thoughts on NeNe getting to participate like every other episode? Like, she misses half the practices but she still gets to play in the all-star games? Hmm. Well, I guess she did start the team!
First up, Sheree Whitfield meets Porsha Williams at an extremely expensive housing fixtures store run by Prince William’s long-lost brother. Sheree pretends she’s buying $8,000 doors for the “spa” she is installing in her basement, but we all know that’s some BS. When life gives you plumbing leaks, make a sauna! Porsha, to her credit, played along nicely that Sheree could actually afford any of this stuff since she was there for the gossip about Sheree’s bae and the mess that happened in San Fran when Cynthia Bailey fled the winery.
Remember when it was Kenya Moore who was begging Cynthia to love her as a BFF? My how the tables have turned now that Kenya has a real man, and it’s Cynthia, single and alone, who just wants to be loved and included. Well, at least we now know why Sheree is so broke: she’s spending all her coins buying vending machine snacks for her prison bae, Tyrone, and accepting collect phone calls! Is that like investing in art? It’s all look, but don’t touch and appreciate it from afar?
Kenya is back from her grandmother’s funeral and visits Lake Bailey for a little solace and peace. JUUUUST Kidding! She actually visits to get the dish from Cynthia and Kandi Burruss on the rest of the San Francisco trip. A brave and tremulous Cynthia takes a deep breath, lets out a sigh, and confesses to Kenya that it’s kinda a wee-bit weird how she’s never met the wonderful Question Marc! Also, she looks like the fool defending her friend for a man that may be an instagram stunt! Kenya blames her ex Matt Jordan. Marc apparently can’t visit ATL because she has a restraining order against Matt, and has to keep them separated, but uhhh… Kandi AND Cynthia were just in NYC but still weren’t permitted to meet this wonder-man. Question Marc, indeed!
What everyone really wants to know is what’s happening with Sheree’s boyfriend Tyrone Gilliam. Instagram pictures lead people to believe that Sheree up and secretly married him in a prison so she could get some conjugal visits. Don’t let the bars stop you from getting freaky! Sheree was spotted visiting him and wearing a “wifey” t-shirt. Since Sheree doesn’t get any of that 7-figure alimony from Bob, why not get married again?! Kenya is scandalized over why everyone is dogging on her on her man, a man whom she is free to invent to her imagination’s content, when Sheree isn’t even free to call hers.
Meanwhile, Kandi is suffering mommy guilt. She’s ignoring her kids to go off and become a 40-year-old pop star, now Ace has gone and become a 10-year-old who can’t even swim and Riley is driving a G-Wagon to the prom! Good thing Kandi has an indoor pool and can invite a swim teacher instructor! How many of these ‘swim instructor’ scenes is Bravo going to treat us to over the years? Maybe they’re trying to promote water safety – which is great – but perhaps they should start by banning binge drinking on beaches or bays or on boats or in bathtubs?!
Speaking of boats, Cynthia may have unresolved business ventures with Peachter Peachter Bank Account Eater, but her heart is only for Will. Will he return the favor? Peter returns from the great wilds of Charlotte where he has struck gold and he’s now prepared to avenge himself in Atlanta, where everyone called him a loser. His plan is to turn an abandoned crack den into Bar 2, and Cynthia is his 25% partner. Which is progress, because a few years ago, when they started this process, I’m pretty sure Cynthia was the sole financial partner. Cynthia arrives to the site looking like she’s walking a runway cause she wants Peter to know what he’s missing and part of his Take ATL By Storm (Again) Plan seems to include taking Cynthia by storm. OR at least trapping her back in his clutches.
Instead, Cynthia introduces Will to Kandi and Todd on a boat tour. Will apparently planned this to suck up to all Cynthia’s friends, but they all have access to Google and discovered he’s appearing on multiple dating shows. Kandi questions whether he’s interested in 50 Cyn for the fame, or the right reason, and Kandi is not about to let her friends be used. Or rather, Kandi’s gonna return the favor after everyone suspected Todd of being an opportunist. Karma is Kandi with a bone to pick! Cynthia and Will certainly have palpable chemistry, BUT maybe it’s his love for the cameras I’m sensing? Either way Cynthia seems pretty casual about their future.
Kandi, as Cynthia puts it, “grills him like a Mama Joyce BBQ” about his history with television dating. Will swears he only did ONE dating show, the other he turned down! Kandi warns Will that she has her ear to the words on the streets. Especially Mama Joyce Street! Kandi – it’s official you are turning into your mother. #RunToddRun
Later, Cynthia reveals that she and Will haven’t had sex yet. And it’s been like 3 whole dates! Now Cynthia is worried that she’ll start liking Will too much, and then the sex might be bad. 50 Cyn is looking for a Big Pun in the sack, not a Too Short. Of course, since Cynthia has dating game worse than Porsha’s blind date, she confesses all this to Will.
Yes, Porsha – she’s hired matchmakers to fix her love life because surprise! surprise! No one is trying to ride the underground Porsha train. Wonder why? After taking a tour of her house and seeing the boy and girl nurseries already painted from the previous owners (although covered in clothes and accessories), plus the creepy abandoned swings in Porsha’s backyard, the matchmakers assume she’s creepy, weird, insane, and into freaky stuff, so they set her up with a bald, dorky white guy in a cheap suit who has crooked teeth.
Did he come from Sheree’s dating pool? Cause I swear this guy had never been on a date. Ever.
Upon spotting her blind date in a restaurant, Porsha nearly turned and walked right out, but decided to try something new. So she stayed, did a sake bomb, and then made up an excuse about her mom needing her and left early. Was that a test from the matchmakers or are they really worse at matchmaking than Patti Stinger? Atrocious!
Last but not least in this episode, we have Sheree. Oh Sheree… well she finally gets the nerve to tell her children about her abusive relationship with Bob, and since they’ve all had access to the internet and television these long months, they already knew. Kaleigh shares that Bob actually tried to tell her about it, but she didn’t want to hear it from him. Sadly, for all Sheree’s talk about confidence and self-esteem, she sure ain’t practicing what she preaches by dating a con-man in the joint! She left that part out of her little heart-to-heart on healthy relationships!
Later when her life coach Jack Daniels comes over, Sheree actually pauses on their conversation to accept a collect call from Tyrone. He croons in his smooth snake oil salesman voice about how much he loves Sheree. When Sheree tells Jack about how Tyrone is more than a prison boo – he’s her soul mate, and when he gets out, they’re gonna make sweet, sweet love together for all eternity, Jack looks like he just swallowed a shot of whiskey with no chaser.
Sheree actually believes Tyrone is her “soul mate” – for real! Like, she believes this is true love and she will wait for him for one year or four, because no one has ever made her feel this happy. Then they’ll get married. While Tyrone was arranging club appearances for Sheree and NeNe, he was also being busted by the Feds and dating Sheree. This guy sure can multi-task! When the Feds started calling him, he stopped calling her. Ostensibly so Sheree didn’t become embroiled in his federal investigation! Gross.
Sheree does realize this man is in prison for CONNING PEOPLE OUT OF MILLIONS! He’s a master of the manipulative tongue and she is sucking down every word. Let’s hope he doesn’t have three or four Sheree’s out there filling his commissary account while he fills their desperate hearts. Dang Sheree – I hope Jack Daniels’s next homework assignment was for you to get a shrink!
TELL US – IS TYRONE USING SHEREE OR ARE THEY SOUL MATES? SHOULD CYNTHIA HAVE MET KENYA’S MAN? IS WILL USING CYNTHIA?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
The post Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: You Better Call Tyrone (Collect) appeared first on Reality Tea.
I have a million and one holiday tasks to do, but damn if I can tear myself away from the drama of 90 Day Fiance – both on the show and on the internet – for even five consecutive minutes to slap a bow on a present. And really, who needs presents when we’ve got the supreme gift of these psychotic lovebirds in our lives for TWO STRAIGHT NIGHTS? Just to clarify, here’s what TLC is doing to us this week: Sunday night was a regular 2-hour installment of 90DF, followed by tonight’s 1-hour finale, followed immediately by 90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All! You guys – my heart can hardly take it. I’m gonna need to dress up in one of Kentucky-David’s lady mumus and plant myself on the couch for a nice, long cookie coma after this whole mess is over.
In an effort to bring you all of this week’s highlights without having to admit myself into a psych ward, we’ll post a recap tomorrow of tonight’s finale, but not the Tell All. Of course, feel free to snark on ALL of the drama in the comments section in tomorrow’s recap. As we know, there’s no shortage of catastrophic content to discuss! But let’s get through Sunday night’s pile o’ sh*t first. And by that, I mean (in stank order): Molly & Luis, Annie & David, Nicole & Azan, Evelyn & David, Elizabeth & Andrei, and Aika & Josh.
We begin right where we left off last week, in Molly’s house of devil worship, where Luis cowers in fear of plastic owls and vanilla scented candles so he can gaslight Molly into losing her f’ing mind. “It’s just a cop out, dude,” Molly complains to brother Jess. He’s not sure what to tell his delusional sister, so he steps out when Luis slithers down to the kitchen. Molly is left to cry with Kensley, who is unsure how to comfort her mother. Groan! If only these kids could be saved from this sick situation and just let the grown ups ruin their own lives.
A bit later, Molly cries to Jess in the living room, obviously seeing the red flags waving fluorescent crimson before her face. “I guess the big question is what to do now,” says Jess. “Call it off, or…?” Molly doesn’t know. Ah, but we do. We know EVERYTHING since these idiots have allowed cameras to follow them around for the past three months. So the silver lining is that Luis can run, but he can’t hide. Please, please, PLEASE let everyone in Molly’s neighborhood be on high alert if they spot this sketchy dude in the bushes.
Good news! Nicole has returned to the U.S. with her three tank tops fully in tact. She’s only missing one thing: Her future huzzzzzband. When she and May meet her mom, stepdad, and brother for dinner later, her family is just relieved that Nicole kept May alive for two months on her own. Except that she didn’t – Azan’s aunt did. Nicole’s mom, Robbalee, is concerned that Nicole is still deluding herself about Azan being the “one,” especially after Nicole’s serial cheating. “He’s got to get over it!” rails Robbalee, but it’s Nicole’s brother, Thomas, who lays down the truth: Azan doesn’t trust her there, so he won’t trust her here.
Thomas, our new hero, also calls Nicole out on making May call Azan “daddy,” which is hideously inappropriate and confusing for a toddler. He also STRAIGHT UP OUTS HER for making May also call other boyfriends “daddy” in the past. Oh. My. God. Standing ovation for Thomas blowing up her spot on the tee-vee screen!!! Thomas also wonders if Azan isn’t working, what will he do for money? As if they’ve just arrived on Planet Rational, Nicole’s parents suddenly snap to attention. They’re all, Yeah – this is nuts! Why aren’t you thinking about your daughter? What the HELL?! Nicole just forks her food, silently willing the plate to suck her straight in. She’s never listened to reason before, so she won’t be starting now. Plus, that bread basket ain’t gonna eat itself!
In New Hampshire, David is jazzed that his friends have arrived for wedding week. It’s like Greek Week at college, except with apples and Evelyn and culty family bands. So yeah, it sucks. Evelyn’s family is paying for the groomsmen’s tuxes because they’re used to giving in to their daughter’s every whim, no matter what the cost. And that’s how an Evelyn happens, people! #BeWarned David’s friends aren’t big fans of Claremont, Evelyn, or the tuxes she’s handpicked for them. Friend Ricardo especially dislikes this whole scenario.
Ricardo questions David about why he’s ruining his life by marrying Evelyn, a girl going nowhere except to the local church bazaar to serve up her newfangled quesadilla hotdish. David defends his betrothed, demanding that they “respect who is going to be my wife!” But Ricardo thinks his friend doth protest too much. And now it’s time for our next favorite moment of this episode: Ricardo blowing up David’s game! Apparently, ole’ Davy boy hasn’t even admitted whether he LOVES Evelyn or not yet. He just robotically answers “I’m happy” like the lobotomized victims of Get Out when put under questioning. Whoa.
In Kentucky, Annie has fled the chigger infested marital bed after being upset by Ashley’s revelations, staying with Chris and Nikki (who’ve flown in for the wedding) before facing off with David at a nearby park. David has apparently been robbing graves during his time off, because he arrives wearing another man’s suit. And I must say it: David in this ill fitting getup is even more jarring than David in his prison uniform/scrubs/lady lounge wear. It’s just…troubling.
As they scope out a spot where he will dump her body months from now, Annie finally turns on him – she wants to know about David’s past. Ashley says he’s a cheater! David warns her that she has a past too (and according to the Google machine, it may be a bit more than meets the eye with this chick…see above photo). But David snarks that she can take the ring back that Chris bought and go if she wants to. “You’ve made your choice! You chose them over me!” he accuses, telling Annie if she goes back to Chris and Nikki, she’ll never see him again. (Ooh, promise?)
Annie is no innocent victim here, but she sure likes playing one on TV. When David returns after his unsuccessful struggle to climb a slight incline, he sits down with Annie at a restaurant. Crying his best crocodile tears, David complains how difficult it’s been to face his “demons.” He thinks “everything was perfect in Asia!” but now it’s all falling apart. So, he’s just a broke loser in Kentucky? Nah. But Annie’s got to be okay with the broke loser she knows rather than an uncertain future with no water buffalo. Thus, it’s back to the firehouse she goes! She’ll marry him. She’d rather look at his face every day for the rest of her life across the breakfast table than go back to that “karaoke bar” (quotes intentional…ahem) she met him in.
In Florida, Andrei and Elizabeth are still talking about Libby’s sisters. Because Libby likes it that way. She’s set up a situation in which her family hates Andrei, and Andrei hates her family. And, truly, the only one to blame for this disaster is herself. But instead of looking inward, Elizabeth just cosigns Andrei’s plan to confront her sister, Jen, about taking her phone away at the bachelorette party. Jen obliges, meeting Andrei for dinner. She admits that taking her sister’s phone away was a “test” of sorts. She wanted to see if Andrei got controlling and angry…um, which he did.
Instead of letting the issue die its imminent death, Andrei stokes the fire by saying he doesn’t want people at his wedding who “test” him! Jen doesn’t care what Andrei thinks. She’ll be at the wedding no matter who likes her or not. And she claims she would’ve tested anyone who dates Libby – not just Moldovian suitors. The two seem okay with each other by the end of the meal, but this truce will last approximately as long as it takes for Elizabeth to throw her family under the bus once again. She’s probably sitting home this very minute, reapplying lipstick and rehearsing her hissy fit in the mirror.
We cut back to Atlanta, where Molly is still bawling her eyes out to brother Jess. The scales have fallen from her eyes and she sees the obstacles for what they are: Luis is too young, too immature, resistant to having stepkids, and a stranger in a strange land. It’s not working out like she thought it would. Olivia comes in to counsel her mom. She wants Molly to be happy and thinks she needs to make a decision for herself – not anyone else. But, uh…isn’t that what got Molly into this mess? Now is EXACTLY the time she needs to think of others, especially her children. GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN!!!
Back in the bedroom of hoodoo and witchery, Luis is lounging on the bed, calling his bro to pick up his despicable, ignorant a$$. Molly wails on the couch, lamenting the fact that she’ll have to tell everyone “it’s off!” But wait – according to the internet (which is always right – right?!) they did get hitched in July of 2017. So – what gives? Hmm. We’ll have to wait to find out…
It’s time to check in with Josh and Aika, who are still counting sperm and eggs as they travel to Vegas for their quickie wedding. After arriving, the first order of business is introducing Aika to Josh’s parents. (And I’ll have you know that I just took no less than THREE screenshots of Josh smiling, and nary an upper tooth made an appearance. So, I’m convinced homeboy is only working with a bottom grill until further evidence is proffered.) Josh’s mom, Sue, is not a big fan of Josh’s rush to the altar since he’s got two failed marriages behind him.
Sue also doesn’t frankly understand what anyone sees in her son. Bwahahahaha! Okay, give me a minute. Oh, how I love a good mom diss. Aika calls Josh her “Romeo,” then drops the bomb: She wants his baby. Sue is shocked, not mincing words about what a sh*tty dad Josh already is. She can’t believe he’s pondering bringing another child into the world, considering he was never a dad to his son and daughter (who are now grown) with wife #1. Josh blames his horrible fathering on a “bad relationship” with his ex, which is like blaming Josh’s ears for his face. It’s just…a reach. Aika almost cries off all her fake lashes in “compassion” for poor Joshy, when really she should be crying for that future fatherless child she’s planning with him. GAWD. I am UGH-ing all the UGHs that ever UGGGGHHHED right now!!!
In KY, David meets Chris out for drinks to discuss the Annie situation. Chris isn’t convinced that “everything’s fine!” like David says, and he’d like to know the truth since this is essentially his problem. He and Nikki are Annie’s sponsors for 10 years, after all. Chris wants further assurances from his bestie. Will he get a job? Will he support his wife? Will he be able to survive the hit his kids have already taken out on him? “I love the underdog,” smiles Chris, who sure got more than he bargained for with Deadbeat David. Instead of giving him the tough love (or sucker punch) he really needs, Chris instead agrees to pay for a big wedding. That’ll teach him! Of course, David is smug about the whole scenario, reflecting on what a good decision it’s been for Chris to “invest” in him. Uh, excuse me. That stock is NOT going up, sir!
Evelyn is back at the Cormier family compound trying on her Laura Ingalls Wilder wedding dress (no shade to L.I.W. who RULES and in no way should be associated with Evelyn, who totally sucks). Her mom and bridesmaids think Evelyn is looking Little House on the Prairie fabulous, but Evelyn is just excited thinking about those racy flesh-colored granny panties she has tucked away for later. While she gets photos snapped and is whisked away to the church, David is in a panic about the rings – Ricardo is late getting them! Oh well. Claremont will wait.
Molly is also waiting in GA, but not for her wedding day. No – she’s waiting for insanity to set in once again, which it will any moment. Until then, her mom, Becky, comes by to ruin the one moment of lucidity her daughter has before everyone’s life goes to sh*t again. Becky wonders what’s going on? Molly says Luis can’t take it – the U.S., the kids, the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. Molly canceled the entire wedding and plans to donate the dress, but is still unsure. Becky stupidly mourns not having a “fun” wedding to attend. But she supports Molly no matter what – or so she says.
Back in Vegas, Josh puts on his best non-sleeveless shirt for the big day while Aika stomps through the hotel lobby in jean shorts and a wedding veil. And I’ll just say it again: This show is GOLD. A hapless viewer stumbling on this 30-second scene alone would immediately know they’re in the presence of reality TV greatness.
At the chapel, Josh’s rag tag assortment of family members and roommates are gathered. Aika and Sue put the finishing touches on her rented dress in back while Josh warms up his gums for the marital kiss. Aika wishes her own mother could be there, but Sue will have to do. Hey – at least she’s #TeamAika. When Josh sees his third bride walking toward him, he knows he made the right decision. Again. Sue hopes this is the last time she has to fly to Vegas for one of Josh’s weddings. She’s surely used up all her United points by now, no? “Till death do us part, right?” asks Josh afterward. “I wish. I mean, I’m you’re third marriage, so I hope so,” snarks Aika.
Still awaiting their blessed day in KY, David and Annie discuss their issues in a cinderblock-walled room that looks like a prison visitor’s lounge. Sadly, I think this is the best view of their apartment. The word “Storage” literally hangs on the door behind David’s head as he cheers his newfound success and how he’s reinvented himself! Annie side eyes his self-congratulatory speech, wondering why David thinks he’s a big man when it’s Chris who’s paying for their apartment, car, and wedding – not to mention the hot dogs they’ll roast on sticks over a trashcan fire later.
But big man David isn’t done flashing his panache yet! No, no. He’s got a WHOLE two hundred dollars for Annie to spend on her wedding dress. Like Charlie before Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory did him a solid, Annie is thrilled with the small crumbs tossed her way. She’s rich! Embarrassed at how little money David’s given Annie, Nikki comes to the rescue, promising to help Annie get any dress she wants at the shop. She and Chris will not be seen at a wedding (funded by them) with a bride in a two-dollar dress.
Annie ends up finding a $318 strapless number that she loves, so she calls David to see if he’ll pay. It’s about $317 over David’s savings account, but after much protestation, he claims that they’ll “make it work.” Well – no they won’t! Because David’s card is immediately declined. Nikki isn’t surprised at all, calmly handing over her Visa while she manages not to roll her eyes ALL the way back in her head. David’s plan worked perfectly. Big man, indeed.
In case that wasn’t awful enough to witness, we must make one final pitstop in Georgia, where Luis is on his way out. His brother and friend come to fetch him, ferrying him and his lone suitcase off to his Mohamed-like destiny. I say Mohamed because, guess what folks: MOLLY AND LUIS ARE ALREADY MARRIED. Yes, they filed the paperwork and are legally married, and have been during much of this show’s filming. The whole wedding day plot was just that – a plot. Molly’s family (or at least, her daughters) are unaware of this, as are the producers, who are piiiisssssssed!!!!! Oh boy, are they not happy with our girl Molly right now.
In our final scene, cameras actually break the fourth wall, focusing their shaky lens on Molly and a ground producer discussing the situation. The producer needs to know WTF is going on right now! Molly just cries and hangs her head in shame, knowing the gig is up. But for us hearty souls who have traversed the Danielle–Mohamed journey through four stormy seasons, we know this exquisite disaster is JUST beginning. Luis, your trifling a$$ better go call up Mo! Oh wait – he had to ghost the world on social media and change his number to avoid being offed by his ex-wife. So. You may want to take a lesson, homie.
Well, folks. Pop your popcorn. Drink 12-15 Diet Cokes. (I’m already way ahead of ya.) You’re going to need major fortification to take in all the drama of tonight’s finale and Tell All!
Writer’s Note: Check out my NEW podcast, Pink Shade With Erin Martin, for more Reality TV talk (Housewives, 90DF & more!) – plus a deep dive into cults & the supernatural. Now available on Podbean, Stitcher, and iTunes!
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Photo Credit: TLC
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