Little Women: LA Season 4 Premiere Recap: MotoCrossed

The first ladies of Lifetime’s ‘Little Women’ franchise are back for season FOUR! This season of Little Women: LA sees the gang reunited, minus Brittney “Freakabritt” Guzman, for another round of oversized drama, including more friendship fallouts and – of course – more pregnancy news. (Has there been a season yet that didn’t involve marriage or pregnancy hullabaloo of some sort, I ask you? Looks like this one’s no different!)

We start out at Jasmine Arteaga Sorge’s home, where she’s fixin’ to throw a Mommy Cocktail Party. It’s been only about a month since Elena Gant and Saint Preston’s vow renewal in Hawaii, which means it’s also been a mere hot minute since the epic throw down between Briana Renee (formerly Manson), Matt Ericson, and…every other human being on the show.  Jasmine is still sporting the spider lashes, and she’s still BFFs with Briana, who shows up first to the soiree.  

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Since Hawaii, Jasmine is the only friend Briana’s got left on earth. No shocker there. Tonya Banks, who Jasmine has buried the hatchet with, shows up and informs us that she’s still single (Bye, Jaa!) and keeping busy with her workout videos. Christy McGinity arrives next. Her focus is on daughter Autumn, who’s just undergone major surgery and is bedridden. Christy and Todd have put artificial insemination and horrifying OB appointments on the back burner until Autumn recovers.

NOT on the back burner is Christy’s white hot rage at Briana for accusing Todd (in Hawaii) of stalk-texting her! Christy thinks Briana is a Liar McLiarpants, especially after she found text messages from Briana to Todd on his phone (Briana claimed she didn’t even know Todd’s number). But Christy says she’s willing to keep things amicable with Briana at Jasmine’s party until further notice.

Terra Jole hasn’t seen the ladies in a while, having spent most of her time taking care of baby Penny, who’s health has been an ongoing concern. Terra arrives and chats with Christy about her 1982 spiral perm. Since they’re allies again, they know they’ll need to join forces against Jasmiana! (Apparently, Terra and Christy’s alliance will be short lived, however, given last week’s news of Terra smashing a glass into Christy’s head while filming! Ugh.)

With proverbial spoon in hand, Terra immediately stirs the sh*t by asking Christy why Jasmine didn’t invite Elena to her party today? Because it’s “mommies” only, she guesses. Something tells me this will not sit well with Ms. Gant, especially if predictions are true that Elena may be the cast member pregnant with TWINS. (Just a guess here, but I’d place a few bucks on that bet. Some are predicting it may be Briana too, but I just cannot go there! #SayItAintSo!)

Jasmine gathers the women at the table to chat about mommyhood. They discuss Autumn’s surgery, then naturally, boob jobs. Ermergerd. Jasmine reveals that not only does she want to dabble in more plastic surgery, but she also wants to start an EYELASH LINE. To be fair, her talking head interview look does reveal a better lash look than she normally sports, but still. Girlfriend usually needs major help in the false eyelash department! Because of her type of dwarfism, Jasmine is not able to grow hair, so she has to rely on false eyelashes and hair. She’d love to help other women who struggle like her. She also reveals she’d love to have another child, although she’s not actively trying right now.

Guess who else is trying to get pregnant? Briana!! Christy along with the rest of the universe is not thrilled to hear this news. She doesn’t want to see Briana chained to D-Bag of the Year forever.

Tonya changes the subject, asking the ladies to come along to a motocross event where they can get down and dirty. More to come on that later.

With the party behind her, Terra meets Elena out to see samples of her new makeup line. Elena is promoting 5 different eye shadow palettes, “Little Palettes,” and wants to throw a preview party for her friends and family to take a first look. Terra fills Elena in on Jasmine’s eyelash line dreams, which doesn’t sit well with Elena. She’s also miffed that Jasmine, who Elena tried to include in the group last season, didn’t invite her to the mommy party. Elena has been getting the sense that Jasmine is going a little Single White Female on her lately and sees her as a fake b*tch, period. Terra smiles, knowing that Elena will go hard at Jasmine now that she’s in possession of this info.

At Christy’s house, she’s rifling through her closet with her mom, who’s staying at Christy’s to help take care of Autumn. They come across a pink box, which contains the ashes of Todd’s infant daughter, Chloe (sp?), who he tragically lost only after a few days of her birth, due to double-dominancy. Todd doesn’t want to spread Chloe’s ashes until he has another child, but Christy confesses to her mom that she’s DONE. She doesn’t want to pursue having another biological child anymore, but has yet to tell Todd this news. #Really? Christy’s mom offers that they might still consider adoption, but she better hurry up because “nobody’s getting any younger.”

At lunch, Jasmine and Briana are dishing about the “transition” of being married to Matt and how he’s also – ahem – “looking for a job.” MmmmmHmmmm. <side eye> Briana doesn’t want to be the nagging wife to Matt’s deadbeat husband, but there you have it. She doesn’t feel as if she and Matt rushed into marriage, but she does admit they have been arguing more lately. Briana expects Matt to contribute financially to their relationship and doesn’t want to be impatient with him while he’s looking. Last seen gainfully employed, Matt was in Seattle jumping in front of people with guns and saving children’s lives and working for the government…or some such nonsense. At least that’s what he said at the reunion, which cleared things up like shiny new crystal! #LinkedInProfileFromHell

Christy, Christy’s perm, and Todd are out for ice cream (is this part of Todd’s new diet!?) to discuss their future. Todd wonders when they’re going to try for another baby? Christy admits the hormones of IVF exacerbated her neck issues and wreaked havoc on her body so badly, she doesn’t want to ever go through it again. Todd tears up, telling Christy he doesn’t want her to “give him a baby” just for the sake of their relationship. He’s willing to adopt. So is Christy! Awww. Sounds like they’re going to pursue this option together. 

Oh lawd! We’re plunged into the private life of Briana and Matt next as Briana takes Jasmine’s advice to heart. She wants to find a “loving way” to tell Matt how she feels. (May I offer the following suggestion? “GET. A. JOB.”) At lunch, Briana tells Matt, “I need you to be looking for a job…” but Matt defends himself immediately as having worked since he was 16 years old, so there! Briana pushes again, then Matt does what he does best: mocks her. Good to know he hasn’t suddenly morphed into a Reformed Man since last season! I had a teensy suspicion that he might use this season to redeem his on-camera image after seeing himself on air – or reading even 10 of the 10,000 negative comments about him online. Alas, not so! Looks like we’ll be treated to more of the same when it comes to everybody’s favorite average sized, d*ck pic sending, jobless loser! (Too harsh? Nah.)

It’s Motocross Day! And, since there’s been no screaming fights just yet, probably the scene of this episode’s big brawl. Elena is freaking me out with her oddly mesmerizing blue contacts, while the rest of the ladies are getting their biker chic look on. Christy is ready to explode at the mere sight of Briana, while Elena is cold-shouldering Jasmine. She tells Terra, Tonya, and Christy that she doesn’t trust Jasmine’s intentions and she feels Jasmine is ultimately trying to replace her in the group.

After much tugging and grunting, the ladies get their motocross gear on and mount their bikes. Briana’s has training wheels, which seems to be the safest bet at this point since Tonya’s bike bites the dust almost immediately. #LittleBossDown! After they get the hang of it, they tear up the track and, I have to admit, it looks mad fun! Ack! Until Briana’s training-wheeled bike turns over! She dusts herself off, then takes a unionized biker break. Oh snap! Terra biffs it – BAD – next! Well, this has gone from fun to fiasco in less than 20 seconds. Perhaps not Tonya’s brightest idea ever?

Jasmine brags that she didn’t fall even once, but Elena rightly snarks that she was the only one driving a 4-wheeler. So, shut it. At the table after their ride, Elena starts in on Jasmine for not inviting her to the party. Jasmine defends that it was a “mommy” event only, and she doesn’t have a personal problem with Elena.

Not one to let someone else’s fight detract from her own brewing fight, Christy takes the reins next. She confronts Briana about her lies that Todd had been inappropriately texting her, when it was Briana texting Todd all along (according to what Christy says she read on Todd’s phone).

Christy threatens to email all of their friends the conversations between Briana and Todd to PROVE what a liar she is. “All you are is full of lies! I’m sick of looking at your ugly face!” yells Christy, after telling Briana she could give a f*ck about her being married to Matt at this point. Since Briana has come for Christy’s marriage, that’s her number one concern now.

Meanwhile at the other end of the table, Elena and Jasmine are still biting each other’s heads off about who invited whom to whose party. They are getting nowhere. Terra claims she “just feels bad for Tonya” for putting this event together, only to see it all blow up like this. That’s rich, since Terra was the one who fed Elena the very info she’s using to attack Jasmine right now! Tonya’s exasperation in the photo below completely sums up my reaction to this 2-headed beast of an argument:

Bottom line: Elena thinks Jasmine has no friends of her own, so now she’s trying to take hers away. Jasmine thinks this accusation is ridiculous. Nothing she can say will diffuse this situation. “I didn’t know Elena had a claim on being the only little person blonde woman,” snarks Jasmine in her talking head. She looked this way long before Elena came to America, she says, and has been in the beauty industry for 10 years. So her eyelash line is not a copycat move either. “I’m done!” Jasmine shouts before walking off.

Elena is done too. But she does want everyone to come to her eye shadow palette preview party coming up – everyone, that is, except Jasmine. 

TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SEASON 4 PREMIERE? IS JASMINE TRYING TO COPY ELENA? IS BRIANA LYING ABOUT THE TODD TEXTS? WHO’S PREGNANT WITH TWINS!?!? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

If you’re curious about that brawl between Terra and Christy coming up later this season, TMZ shared video last night. 

The post Little Women: LA Season 4 Premiere Recap: MotoCrossed appeared first on Reality Tea.

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