Little Women: LA Recap: March Madness

Sadly, last night’s Little Women: LA showcased a raw, painful time for Elena Gant, who flew to Russia after hearing the heartbreaking news that her father had unexpectedly passed away. In positive news, Terra Jole set aside the aftermath of their mini-feud to be there for her friend, hoping that Elena didn’t blame herself for not being able to be by her father’s side at the end. Back in LA, Terra tries to rally the troops to head to a women’s march, but Briana Renee decides not to go because she is a terrible example of female empowerment thinks Terra has ulterior motives. Meanwhile, Christy McGinity Gibel lone-wolfs it yet again as she looks into medical options for Todd’s weight loss.

Terra and Briana meet for tea, and to discuss manager-stealing. Briana denies shady doings, but Terra isn’t buying it. She would have given her manager’s number to Briana if she really wanted it, but going behind her back to hit him up was wrong. Briana wants to rebuild trust…but it’s Briana we’re talking about here. She and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] sit on a throne of lies. Briana does agree to attend a women’s march with Terra though. (Which she’ll back out of later.)

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Tonya Banks and Jasmine Sorge are glad to be on better terms now than in seasons past. Meeting for dinner, the two discuss Jasmine’s new baby boy – and tequila tasting. Jasmine wants to invite all of the girls – INCLUDING CHRISTY – which is 1) nice, considering these b*tches have iced her out all season, and 2) weird since Christy is a sober woman.

Moving on to Matt, Jasmine admits she’s done with him forever. She thought she could help Briana, but it’s a lost cause. Tonya knows this already, sagely reminding Jasmine that if Briana is capable of cutting her own family out of her life for Matt’s sorry, despicable a$$, she’s capable of anything. Let’s hope Jasmine remembers these #LittleBoss words of wisdom.

Briana’s life is totally awesome and she has no problems in the world now though because she’s got a therapy puppy. And she’s going to model her “off the charts” assets, per Matt’s request for a paycheck. Briana says she gets compliments ALL of the time, but is too modest to toot her own horn. So she’s going to let her underwear do the talking. And she’s going to rethink going to that women’s march now too; it just doesn’t fit into her dream board at the moment.

At home, Terra gets a message from Elena, but can’t get a hold of her. Joe calls Preston, who tells them the sad news of Elena’s father passing away, and that she flew to Russia to be with her family. Terra is shocked and sad, remembering how she lost her own father just last year.

Over in Christy’s world, she and Todd are visiting a doctor to discuss the gastric balloon, a non-invasive procedure to aid in weight loss. Todd weighs in at 328 pounds, which is heavy for an average sized person, but nearly deadly for a little person. But the doc tells Todd that he is so morbidly obese, he doesn’t qualify for the balloon. He needs the sleeve, which surgically makes the stomach smaller, but comes with its own set of risks since the patient needs to go under anesthesia. Todd is freaked out, but Christy thinks it’s worth the risk. He’s slowly eating himself to death otherwise.

Reaching out to a mourning Elena via Skype, Terra hears how Elena’s father passed: His heart stopped unexpectedly, and he was later found in his apartment by neighbors. Elena remembers dancing with her father at her vow renewal, and now can’t quite believe she’ll never see him again. Even more heartbreaking, Elena cries thinking about how her father will never meet her baby boys. She and Terra trade “I love you’s” and Terra hangs up, not sure how to help.

Checking in on Preston later, Tonya and Terra visit with the twins. (Preston’s expedited visa wasn’t feasible, so he had to stay behind.) They discuss the genetic testing results for the twins, which revealed that one is average sized and one is little. Preston is just happy that both are healthy, as any good dad would be. #PrestonIsTheBomb

Time for fake therapy brought to you by Bonnie & Clyde! Briana is at the therapist’s office bemoaning her inability to get over Matt’s infidelity “if you will.” (Yes, we will.) She wants to appear happy, but doesn’t feel happy. Um…maybe because that’s because you are miserable and oppressed/abused by a deadbeat, Briana? Briana wonders if she has postpartum depression, but the therapist zones in on Briana’s lack of support. “Maybe you’re focused too much on making other people happy,” offers the clueless therapist, who has no idea how Briana has treated her family or, most recently, her wrongly maligned friend, Lisa. Poor Briana! No one supports her garbage heap of a marriage.

It’s time for the women’s march, and only Tonya and Briana have agreed to come. But when Briana is a no-show, Terra realizes that their beef continues. Briana texts the entire group to tell her she’s marching elsewhere because she’s afraid of “Terra’s mouth,” so harrrrrunmph! Terra’s surprised to hear they’re moving backwards after reconciling, but Tonya knows the truth: Briana cannot be trusted, period. She needs to be voted off the island, dude.

As Terra takes the stage with her former Dancing With The Stars partner, Sasha Farber, at the march it all becomes clear why Briana may have skipped the event. Seeing Terra shine in that spotlight is just too much for her. Yes, Terra can be a bully, and is often as mean as a snake when attacking her “enemies.” But that Briana? Homegirl is as shady as they come.

Tequila night has descended upon the group. Jasmine and Terra meet beforehand to break down the Briana situation. Bottom line: Briana is a yes-girl in person, then reveals her true feelings behind your back (or via group text) later. She is disloyal and two-faced, and Jasmine is getting wise to Briana’s real deal. To mix it up a bit, Terra’s bringing a new friend, Mary, to the event. Mary is a little person model from London who’s looking for inspiration for her fashion line.

After playing fake kissy-face with Briana, Tonya and Mary arrive. Tonya never met a new heffa she didn’t hate, and Mary is no exception! Immediately, Tonya takes umbrage to Mary claiming she’s not a tequila girl. The group gets their drink on anyway, and chat turns to Mary’s fashion show back in the UK. She’s looking for models and – whaddayaknow! – Briana is a wannabe model. Briana thinks she “can definitely bring the fierce” to Mary’s fashion show. I think she can definitely bring the Matt, and Matt’s blue shirt, and Matt’s desire for an income…but that’s about it.

When Tonya tries to get snarky with Mary about her “modeling,” however, we see who is actually bringing receipts to their game. Mary shuts Tonya down hard with her resume and her serious confidence, thus showing the group what it takes to win an argument without screeching or chucking a plastic cup at someone’s cowgirl hat. Team Mary! (Is this a new addition to the group? Because I’m here for it All. Day. Long.)

Just when I was wondering where Christy was…she shows up! Terra hasn’t seen her in months, but silently deals with her presence. Christy explains her health issues to the group, who seem copacetic with her at the moment, even including her in a fairly lame game of “I never” for kicks. Well, fairly lame until Tonya brings up anal sex. (WTF!?)

But when Terra suddenly calls out Briana for taking a jab at her via group text, Briana is shocked. She claims everyone is twisting her words, but ahh, her words were in a group text. So, what’s the issue here? The issue is that Briana doesn’t like to be the wind beneath Terra’s wings, claiming that Terra went to the women’s march simply to show off. Which is probably partly true. But the thirst is REAL with Briana too, and she knows that she’d be snapping pics with celebs all day long too if anyone knew who she was given the chance.

Terra is so hopping mad about Briana’s jealousy and backstabbing, she actually says the unthinkable! Christy is now better than Briana, in Terra’s eyes. And Terra admits she might be a b*tch herself, but she’s an up-front b*tch. Briana, on the other hand, is the worst kind of frenemy, dropping you in a heartbeat when you don’t fit into her agenda. Or when her husband sexts you…which will end up being YOUR fault, by the way. It’s Briana’s world, and these ladies are all just living in it. Sadly, that world is getting very, very small.

TELL US: IS BRIANA JEALOUS OF TERRA, OR IS TERRA BEING A SHOW OFF? WILL CHRISTY FINALLY BE WELCOMED BACK INTO THE GROUP?

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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