Teen Mom 2 Recap: Lawyer Up

The lawyers were the real winners on last night’s Teen Mom 2, racking up billable hours on never-ending custody issues.

Chelsea Houska meets with a child support referee to adjust Adam Lind’s child support, but he’s a no show. Nathan Griffith finally hires a lawyer to get custody of Kaiser, while Jenelle Evans’s lawyer tries to keep her out of jail. Leah Messer, Corey Simms, and most importantly, their twin girls, all have a victory in court. Kailyn Lowry has no need for a lawyer yet. Things seems to be going well with Javi Marroquin away.

Chelsea and three of her girlfriends make Cole DeBoer drive them to a wedding venue several hours away. Does Cole have friends? It seems odd to me that he would go on this trip unless he has nothing better to do. I’d rather stay home and babysit Chelsea’s mammoth dog and Pete-Pete. Before they head out, the girls and the hair monster living on Chelsea’s head push Mary’s car out of a snow drift.

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Cole survives the long trip to the wedding venue with Chelsea and friends. This is probably some sort of test. If Cole can handle being in a car with Chelsea and her follower friends for that long, he can withstand anything. The venue looks…cold. It’s covered with snow and doesn’t look all that magical to me. But it fits Chelsea and Cole and their lumberjack theme. Oh and Cole has a new pet name (quite literally) for Chelsea: puppy. Kind of ironic considering who takes the orders in that relationship.

Because we need a weekly reminder, Chelsea and Chelsey discuss Adam, custody, and child support again. Chelsea has a hearing on Monday with a child support referee (yes, that’s the real name for them). Meanwhile, Adam has a friend and Paislee at his house. My goodness, Paislee is so cute! We haven’t seen Adam with this friend yet, so of course, Adam has to repeat his Chelsea-custody spiel. This time he adds on a nice gem, saying that a judge will laugh at Chelsea. Don’t get too confident, Adam, your house isn’t that sweet.

Chelsea FINALLY has her child support hearing with her hair in a ponytail the actual size of a pony’s tail. The hearing went well for Chelsea. Adam is currently paying less than two hundred per month, but the referee recommended one thousand per month. Maybe that recommendation wouldn’t have been so high if Adam had bothered to show up. In her grown-up voice, Chelsea tells her mom she’s not surprised Adam didn’t come because he’s an idiot and a moron. I like Chelsea a lot more when she’s mad.

Kail and boys talk to Javi every day. No word yet on how much time Kail and Javi spend fighting. Sterling is at Kail’s house, looking like she raided Chelsea’s red and black checkered closet. Kail tells Sterling things are going pretty well for her despite Javi being gone. Or because he’s gone? Lincoln isn’t fazed much by Javi’s absence, but he says “daddy” when the phone rings. Isaac, though, has sporadic breakdowns over missing Javi, whom he is now regularly calling Daddy. Jo Rivera thinks Isaac just doesn’t understand what’s going on. Isaac had told Jo that Javi would be in the desert by himself with no food or water. Kail could only wish.

Later, Javi Facetimes Kail and the boys and tells them he’s going off base. For no other reason than to test whether Kail cares, Javi tells her ISIS will be out there, so he has to be careful when he goes off base. Kail looks surprised. She cautions him not to go off base, be safe, and not talk to anyone he doesn’t know, especially women. Javi is miserable, but instead of wallowing in his misery, he keeps busy. Kail says that’s exactly how she’s feeling. Doubtful, but it’s nice of her to let Javi think that.

That night, Kail reads a book to the boys called, “Countdown ‘til Daddy Comes Home.” I guess it’s good for the boys to have this situation explained and somewhat normalized through the softness of a children’s book, but it sounds pretty depressing. Isaac misses Javi to death and is having a hard time waiting for him to come home. He’s also worried that there might be alligators over there. Kail assures him that Javi will be home when he’s done working and there are no alligators. Let’s hope Isaac doesn’t Google ISIS. Lincoln gives Isaac a big kiss and Kail tucks the boys into bed. The same bed.

Jenelle’s ice cold heart must be thawing. She let Nathan see Kaiser for one whole hour! The visit was supervised by David Eason, though, so Jenelle wouldn’t have to see Nathan. Let the absurdity of all that sink in. As Jace plays with Kaiser, David tells Jenelle how the visit went. David wasn’t impressed by Nathan and thought he’d be bigger, but has little chicken legs. No mention of whether Kaiser enjoyed seeing his dad because who cares about Kaiser.

David reminds Jenelle what a great guy he is for saving Jenelle from having to take her son to visit his father. And she truly is grateful! All she ever wanted was someone else to do everything for her. David gets an idea. If he had Nathan’s number, it could be David’s “job” to communicate with Nathan about Kaiser so Jenelle doesn’t have to be involved. And she agrees with this plan! CPS, are you watching this?!

Poor Jace cries to Barbara Evans that he got a 40 on his spelling test. Babs consoles him and that’s all we see of her this episode. Guess I’ll have to watch her blind dating show! Meanwhile, Jenelle gives her friend the sordid story of Nathan’s supervised visit with Kaiser and reveals that she had told Nathan at the last minute that David would be the one bringing him. The fact that Nathan hasn’t gone HAM on either one of them yet is amazing. Maybe he has matured. Jenelle isn’t sure if Nathan will talk to Jessica about dropping the assault charges, but she has decided she will not keep Kaiser from Nathan regardless. But, if the charges aren’t dropped, she’ll never forgive either one of them and she’ll make Nathan’s custody case the toughest battle in history! Never mind that if the charges aren’t dropped, she’ll more than likely be convicted, making Nathan’s case that much easier.

Speaking of which, Nathan meets with a lawyer to file for custody. FINALLY. Too bad he doesn’t even know how old Kaiser is. His guess is 18 months old. He explains to the lawyer that he does not have Jenelle’s phone number and all communication has been going through David. The lawyer rolls her eyes so hard she puts all the Real Housewives to shame. She fully understands why Nathan would want full custody and I sense she feels genuinely concerned for Kaiser’s well-being.

Later, Jenelle goes into her bathroom to call her lawyer, Amy. Why doesn’t she just call her from the bedroom? And why does Jenelle seem more lively than usual? And why has she been picking at her face? I’m not saying she and David have been doing amphetamines in the bedroom, but the pieces would fit, wouldn’t they?

Jenelle informs Amy that she talked to Nathan about seeing Kaiser and requested he convince Jessica to drop the charges. Amy hasn’t heard from Jessica or her lawyer, but doesn’t think this will go to trial. She suggests Jenelle take care of herself and Kaiser and not worry about the court stuff. Note to self: never hire Amy. Jenelle asks David if Nathan has texted him at all lately. Apparently he has, but either David hasn’t checked his phone lately or didn’t feel the need to let Jenelle know. David reads the text in a mocking tone, “When can I see my son?” Jenelle tells David to respond saying he just saw this, so when they go to court it doesn’t look like they’re ignoring him. Good idea, Jenelle. Reveal your facade on national television.

Jenelle also wants Nathan to send pictures proving he has the necessities for Kaiser and Nathan’s address. Nathan texts back saying he will send pictures, but doesn’t feel comfortable with Jenelle and David knowing where he lives. David is shocked, “What if he lives in a whorehouse?” Yeah, what if Nathan is living with a woman he just met who isn’t trusted around her own child? That would be terrible…. David sends an aggressive text about Nathan knowing where they live and David not giving a s–t, but in response, Nathan simply says he can’t trust either one of them with everything going on.

Ali’s wheelchair is finally fixed, which is a relief for Leah because Ali has been getting weaker. When Leah brings the wheelchair in the house, the kitten almost manages to escape, but Aleeah grabs her. “Another day,” the kitten sighs. Ali actually seems happy to have her wheelchair and gives her sisters rides on it. Leah lectures that Ali try to walk first and not always depend on the wheelchair. But I don’t think that’s consistent with what the doctor has been saying.

Corey and Leah are preparing for the hearing on reconsideration of the custody agreement. Corey wants to work something out with Leah so there’s no tension between the two of them. All he wants is what’s best for the girls. Meanwhile, Leah calls her mom while flat ironing her hair into crispy little pieces. She also just wants the girlses to be okay and doesn’t want them suffering. They’re not suffering with Corey, are they?

The cameras aren’t allowed in the courtroom, but Leah, her sister, and her lawyer emerge smiling. Corey gave Leah all day on Thursdays so the girls can come home after cheer and, in exchange, Leah gave Corey the second weekend of every month. They also agreed that each one would get two weeks of vacation in the summer. Leah and Corey both feel great about the new arrangement. Corey tells his dad that Leah has been doing much better and has gotten the girls to school on time every Monday. If she goes downhill again, he’ll pursue having the schedule changed again, but for now things are good.

Leah picks the girls up from school and of course she’s texting while driving AGAIN. I won’t hold my breath for Dr. Drew to come down on her for this, but he should! The girls ask what the good news is. She lets them know that they’ll be coming home with her on Thursdays after cheer, but anytime they want to go to their dad’s house, just let her know, which is the most mature thing she has said all season. When she meets with Corey to drop off the girls, they actually have a conversation. They agree that court went well and they feel they’re in a better place. I’m glad they’ve worked things out and have decided to work as a team. This is truly what’s best for the girls.

Photo Credit: MTV

Author: Hollie

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