Rachel McAdams is busy filming amazing movies, and Lindsay Lohan is busy doing whatever it is that Lindsay does, so it’s safe to say that when Tina Fey placed the call for a Mean Girls reunion, the cast of Southern Charm obliged. Let’s skip over the the fact that the crew started last night’s episode the morning after Patricia Altschul‘s flamingo party (I won’t mention that Whitney Sudler-Smith was eating a hot dog for breakfast, but I will note that Michael the butler is having to tidy up after the ruckus).
Craig Conover‘s residence with girlfriend Naomie at her parents’ gorgeous marsh front home in West Ashley has been sold, so the pair is moving to her fixer-upper (read: amazing house) in Mount Pleasant. Craig is fine with this turn of events, as he’d rather live on the streets with Naomie as opposed to in a castle without her. That’s romance, dear readers. Naomie wants the details on Pat’s party, and Craig sheepishly admits that he may have created some of the drama surrounding Thomas Ravenel and Jennifer Snowden‘s showdown, as well as Whitney’s disdain for Kathryn. He provides a lengthy explanation about Kathryn being a trophy that he no longer wanted after Shep tapped that, but he is positive that Whitney is still brewing with jealously.
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Naomie is a saint for listening to this ridiculousness, but she smiles, nods, and packs the glassware. Across town, Whitney dials up his young paramour from his swanky Upper King loft. Shouldn’t a grown man have pillow cases on his pillows?
Kathryn Dennis meets Cooper Ray at 82 Queen. He compliments her on her new Birkin bag, and she reveals that it was a treat to herself after all she’s gone through lately. Before you blow up (and believe me, I was about to), Kathryn jokes that’s it’s faux real exactly what she needed to fit in with this crew so obsessed with image. Cooper shares that Patricia called him to express her disappointment in his new found friendship with Kathryn. He’s still convinced that Kathryn reminds Patricia of her younger, more vibrant self, and Kathryn wonders why this seemingly societal lady is so concerned with the lifestyle of a lil’ ol’ girl from Moncks Corner.
Speaking of concern, Cooper questions Jennifer‘s sincerity when it comes to her friendship with Kathryn. After all, Jennifer lied about doing the dirty with T-Rav while Kathryn was pregnant with his (first) child. Kathryn has forgiven that indiscretion, but she’s still wary as to who her true friends are. On cue, Whitney joins his mother at her mansion to rehash the night’s events, and Patricia is pleased with the pictures that were procured for her upcoming party-planning book. Sadly, no one captured Shep‘s cannonball into the pool in his tighty-whities. Whitney questions Patricia about Cooper’s conversation with his mother, calling him a drama queen. Pat swears that Cooper will never darken her door again.
Shepard “Shep” Rose welcomes Bailey (one of his dates from that night at the Royal American) into his new house, and she’s ready to fulfill his dream of being painted on a horse with a surfboard. He really likes her, but they’ve yet to DTR, or define the relationship. However, Bailey is DTF (I knew Shep was a closet Jersey Shore fan!), so close enough? As tacky and disrespectful as his comments are, I feel obliged to mention that he’s already apologized for them. Why am I so quick to forgive this crew for their gross indiscretions?
Meanwhile, Landon Clements and Whitney are shopping at an upscale thrift store for costumes for a roller skating party she’s hosting for Shep’s upcoming birthday. He’s done so much for her since she’s been back in town, and she wants to repay him by throwing him the party she’s always wanted to throw for herself. Whitney concurs. He concurs double when he hears that there is no alcohol allowed at the skating rink. Does she even know Shep? Has he ever gone that long without booze? Have I? Not since I started this blogging gig, that’s for sure! 
Landon spouts off the guest list (the usual suspects, painter Bailey, some dudes from the Palace Hotel – RIP) and informs Whitney that Shep wants Kathryn included. As she giggles incessantly, Whitney wishes this party could just be the regular steak house and strip club birthday bashes of bachelor yore. Landon’s voice goes up three octaves – “oh you!” – as she playfully punches him on the arm before trying on her disco outfits, leaving Whitney to peruse vintage Playboys while wondering if this show is one of his lesser ideas. No. I assure you, Whitney, it was not. You may not deserve my snark, but you will always deserve my gratitude.
The birthday boy loves that he can walk from his new home to his bar, which is (was – RIP) in the heart of one of Charleston’s transitional areas. It’s a charming district that tourists fear (unnecessarily) if they happen to make a wrong turn. Cameran Eubanks joins Shep for burgers and beer to discuss their real estate partnerShep, but she’s more interested in how Shep feels about Bailey. A little law bird recently told her that Shep wants three kids, a wife, and a home on Sullivan’s Island by the time he’s forty. Craig is a damn liar. Shep only wants two kids, but the timeline is about right. Of course, Shep knows he’ll recognize the right lady when she comes his way, and in the interim, he’s not going to wait for her while watching Netflix on his sofa. I love this exchange because it’s exactly how true friends would discuss this sort of thing, but for goodness sake, folks, chew your food!
Is it ironic (or just the magic of the production crew) that both Thomas and Kathryn are moving into their new digs at the same time? Thomas is spouting commands as to the placement of expensive furniture and priceless antiques as Kathryn’s crew makes her check her POD for critters after extended storage in Moncks Corner. It’s not quite the same, but both recall the time when they were supposed to be doing this very task…in one home…as a family. There is a longer than needed scene between Craig and Naomie that only makes me find Naomie more adorable and level-headed, save for the fact she’s dating Craig…who is also growing on me more than I’d like to admit. Craig boasts about his position with JD‘s company, and it’s benign until I’m privy to next week’s preview.
Kathryn calls on Danni to get advice on returning to the group. Be honest…does Bravo place all the normal, level-headed people in the position of “friend” of the crazies? If so, Dannie deserves a raise. She doles out sage advice. No one is going to approach Kathryn after her antics, but Kathryn may be surprised by how much she can gain if she extends the olive branch.
Landon arrives at Thomas‘ house to see the fruits of his decorators’, movers’, contractors’ labor. Landon invites T-Rav to Shep’s birthday, but he’s got Kensie for the weekend. He wants to know if Kathryn is included, and Landon questions why Thomas even cares. Um, she’s the mother of his children?? Not being enough of a reason, Landon giggles a response in her talking head about how Thomas probably wants Kathryn to have something on her agenda besides stalking Thomas. She then quickly segues into looking for investors for her new, um, business. It’s a travel website. Maybe. Yes. She thinks it is. Thomas is happy to offer his support, but not in the form of a monetary investment.
Following Danni‘s advice, Kathryn phones Cameran to see if she’d be open to coffee or lunch. The short answer? Not so much. Cameran is over the drama and volatile train wreck that has been Kathryn and T-Rav. She’s been front row for the debacle, and she wants to be watching from the nose bleed section. Kathryn understands Cameran’s concerns, which is why she just wants to grab a latte and not go on a Thelma and Louise style road trip. Cameran is adamant about not wanting to engage in anything that could add negativity to her life, and Kathryn is disappointed. This isn’t the Cameran she met a few years ago.
On the day of Shep’s birthday party, Landon dons her roller skates and is solidifying the final details of the party in a voice five times higher and gigglier than her normal cadence. Shep is still complaining that the actual party doesn’t allow alcohol…and he’s never roller skated before. Who is this party really for? He’s the first to arrive for his party bus, and he waits somewhat patiently as Landon runs last minute errands for the soiree. The rest of the crew (and then some) convene on The Ally to catch the bus, and upon Landon’s arrival, Shep inquires as to when Kathryn is coming. She’s his friend, and he’s made it clear he wants her invited to his party. Landon declares that the party bus is heading out regardless of whether Bailey and Kathryn arrive for the planned ride. Bailey makes it on the bus by the skin of her teeth, and Landon laughs that there isn’t room for Kathryn anyway. To the skating rink, Michael driver! White lies, you know!
At the rink, Cameran comments that Landon planned a party that is totally devoid of all things Shep. Is is just me, or is Landon just tolerated by the others? Cameran seems mildly peeved by this girl who clearly doesn’t know her pal as well as she does. Not shockingly, but just as hilariously, Craig kicks ass at roller skating. Shep? Not so much. No worries, Shep will just awkwardly tootle around the rink, hand-in-hand with Bailey, complaining about how this party is not really for him. On the sidelines, someone is sulking at the hand-holding. At least it was easy to bash tiny Frederick’s of Hollywood girl!
Craig and crew are curious about Kathryn‘s whereabouts after Landon accuses her of being a no-show. She was totally invited, y’all! Cameran shows no sympathy for Kathryn’s recent shunning, and Craig is very disappointed in her Mean Girls behavior. Danni asserts that despite Cameran and Landon’s comments, Kathryn has tried to make an effort.
Bailey gifts Shep with the painting of him on a horse, and while it won’t ever hang in the Louvre, he declares it the best present he’s ever received. Landon agrees, only she substitutes “best” with “shittiest.” Samesies!
I knew the party was incomplete, but the arrival of JD and Elizabeth reminds me I was right. It’s not a party until they are in attendance. They are so easy and low-key…this crowd desperately needs their presence to counterbalance the drama!
Craig asks Landon (yet again) about when Kathryn will be arriving, but she swears it’s out of her hands. She extended the invite. She can’t help it if Kathryn is too self-absorbed to accept it. Craig calls Kathryn to find out where she is, but he’s met with her voicemail. As Landon protests too much about Kathryn’s inclusion, Shep decides to find out for himself. He dials up Kathryn to learn that the first she heard of Shep’s birthday celebration was in Craig’s voicemail a few minutes earlier. Shep is less than happy. For Shep, I’d say he’s pissed. Yes, 90% of the time he’s an over-aged frat boy, but I’ve always known he’s had a heart. And here it is. He confronts Landon about whether she actually invited Kathryn. He hates anyone feeling excluded. When she counters with a “yes I asked her (but I don’t have proof), but who cares” she’s not only met with Shep’s disappointment (did he just storm off saying he hopes they all learn from being hateful?), but Danni and Craig’s as well.
Landon skates off…she didn’t sign up for this. She planned this party for herself Shep, not Kathryn.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? IS LANDON A MEAN GIRL OR JUST MISUNDERSTOOD?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Southern Charm Recap: On Mondays We Wear Pink, Um, I Mean Roller Skates appeared first on Reality Tea.
from Reality Tea http://www.realitytea.com/2016/05/03/southern-charm-recap-mondays-wear-pink-um-mean-roller-skates/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=southern-charm-recap-mondays-wear-pink-um-mean-roller-skates
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