Little Women: LA Recap: Tough Crowd

Last night on Little Women: LA, Terra Jole makes it to the semi-finals of Dancing With The Stars, but her friends seem less than supportive. Christy McGinity Gibel faces complications during neck surgery that we now know sadly brought on a mini-stroke, leaving her to face even more health challenges. Meanwhile, Elena Gant continues to rage against Terra being a “bad friend,” so she tries to force a laugh with Briana Renee and Tonya Banks at a comedy show. As for Jasmine Sorge, she’s just ready to have this dang baby already! And she’s letting her hubby, Chris, know it.

But first, we are forced to follow Briana and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] – who, in case he isn’t gross enough, now has GOUT – to the gym. Outfitted in her “Fit & Fierce” tank top, Briana does her best to focus on all things Briana – like her music career, which is currently stalled because this chick cannot sing. She just needs a better voice coach, yo! What does Matt want, you wonder? Well, since his whole body is his “instrument” <dry heave> he wants to use said instrument to become an MMA fighter. At 40. With GOUT. “I’m sorry that your life isn’t enough for you,” snarks Briana. (Shouldn’t she just be glad he’s not sexting his other instrument clear across the nation anymore? Hmm?)

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At the doctor, Christy consults about a neck surgery she needs to replace a disc. Complications include routine discomfort, but larger risks include a neurological injury. Christy knows the risks, but can’t live with her neck pain anymore – and she doesn’t want to be on pills for the rest of her life, especially with her history of addiction. The doctor notes that this will be the first artificial disc replacement done on a little person, which also ups the stakes.

Poor Christy, man. From her confessionals, you can clearly see the damage her mini-stroke did to her voice and facial muscles. To make matters worse, rumors are swirling that her and Todd’s marriage may be on the rocks also. Sigh. Whatever her sins may be (and all of these ladies have plenty), my heart does go out to her right now.

At the DWTS studio, Sasha Farber and Terra practice for their next show. Terra’s hernias and breast leakage are slowing her down, and scaring her friends. Speaking of friends, Tonya pops by to have another heart to heart. They talk about Elena’s recent outburst about Terra being completely consumed with the competition – which she is. She doesn’t want to give up so close to the end, but she did at least go to the doctor recently. After she shows Tonya the hernias (which are visible through her stomach muscles!), Tonya takes a firmer stance. She thinks Terra is crazy to push herself this hard. What about her kids? “I just don’t want you to worship this,” says Tonya. Too late.

Terra’s not about to quit, but does want to invite the girls to rehearsal so they can worship her bond. Tonya mentions a comedy show that Elena’s putting together, but Terra’s noncommittal.

Elsewhere, Jasmine and Briana meet for dinner to catch up. Briana tells Jasmine about Matt’s delusional MMA dreams. Her emotions and hormones are all over the place postpartum, which isn’t helping matters. Also, she’s married to Matt. So, yeah. Things are obviously B.A.D. Jasmine suggests drugs – prescribed by a doc, of course! Briana’s gonna need something to get through this stank pile of a life she’s created, after all.

In her own postpartum world, Elena is trying out cryotherapy to help lose weight. She drags Tonya along for the ride, thinking it may help with her Bell’s Palsy. As the ladies freeze their arses off in the chamber, they scream their way through the session, then come out hoping for a miracle. Tonya admits the Bell’s Palsy is keeping her isolated, but that she has visited Terra. Elena confesses the tough talk she gave Terra, but insists it was all out of love. Terra is family to her, and she feels cut off from her right now. She hopes Terra comes to the comedy show to connect with the group – but, as Tonya already knows, that’s about as likely as Matt becoming famous for anything but wrinkled up d*ck pics.

Back at DWTS, Terra is two days away from her next competition. Tonya, Jasmine, and Briana stop by for a visit – which Briana is salty about, being the only one (besides Christy) who hasn’t been invited to an actual DWTS performance. Elena is a no-show, which is disappointing, but not surprising. After Jasmine updates the gals about her pregnancy – she’s ready to pop! – Terra tells them about her stress, admitting she’s been a sh*tty friend lately.

Cue Briana complaining about not being invited to a performance. Well, Terra says, she’s got a little problem. See, Briana has been rolling around town saying she was asked to be on DWTS first, but according to producers (says Terra), she wasn’t. So…??? Briana claims she was pitched the idea a year ago, but was given “the runaround.” Basically, she sidesteps the truth here. Despite this lame explanation, Terra apologizes for not inviting Briana, offering her a chance to come next week. Though poor, downtrodden Briana <eye roll> doesn’t want a pity invite – she’ll take it. Because liars can’t be choosers!

At home, Chris and Jasmine (well, Chris!) are installing the new baby car seat. At each other’s throats about everything these days, Jasmine admits her OCD has kicked into overdrive with this pregnancy. Chris just hopes the railroad calls him soon so he can hop on it and run away go back to work. Jasmine knows she needs to reel in the drama and apologizes for her nagging. Chris knows this is a passing phase, and he loves his wife no matter what. These two seem like a solid couple – it’s a refreshing change of pace for this show!

But now, back to our regular sh*tshow: Matt and Briana. With sweat dripping down his a$$crack, Matt drags his gouty self around the gym for some light jogging. Which is nearly giving him cardiac arrest. As he frog-hops and climbs walls with his very patient trainer (who is stifling a laugh, no?), Briana wanders in to ask what the likelihood of Matt EVER becoming MMA-ready is? Whelp, this trainer must be as delusional at Matt – or getting paid by the lie – because he says it’ll take about a month!

After the trainer demonstrates an actual MMA brawl for the couple though, Briana says Matt is out of his mind and needs to quit this sh*t now. Matt respects her opinion, but he respects his INCREDIBLE GOOD LOOKS more. So, he’ll reconsider. Yes, we heard that right. Matt is deferring his life’s dream because his super hot face is at risk. And god knows how many people are out there just waiting to crush his skull in. I am raising my hand.

But, let’s pause for a moment. Can we all just agree that this MMA ridiculousness is obviously a producer-driven fake storyline? Briana, for one, can barely get through her lines without grinning. And as big of a dirtbag as Matt is, he is not stunted enough to think this can be a reality. I mean, homeboy looks like he needs on-site medical attention after one training session. And I don’t think he’s up for fighting another man his size – in or out of a ring – anytime, ever. He’d rather pick on the weak and vulnerable. Lifetime: Give us a break. WE SEE YOU.

Okay – moving on! Christy packs for her surgery while discussing the particulars. She’ll be in the hospital for three days, and is scared about going under anesthesia. Todd reassures her that it will all be okay. Despite her reservations, Christy is steadfast in her commitment – she wants to be pain free and is willing risk anything, even death, to find freedom from it.

On to the comedy show! Elena, Briana, and Tonya are in attendance to see Elena’s new friend, Lila, in a standup act. She’s a little person too, so Elena wants to support her. Fresh off of seeing Terra get eliminated from DWTS (bad luck charm?), Briana tells Elena she was grateful to see Terra perform one last time. Yeah. I bet. Elena is happy Terra’s stint on the show is done and isn’t afraid to say it, which Briana can’t believe. Yet in the next breath, she shades Terra for not inviting her to a DWTS show earlier! Elena calls bullsh*t on Briana wanting to go to the show to “support her friend.” Nah. That thirsty chick wanted to meet some sucker who will put her on DWTS next. Alas, she is at the same level of psychotic narcissism as Matt about her singing and dancing career. So, whatever. NEXT.

When Tonya arrives, she fills the ladies in on Christy’s neck surgery, which did not go well. Her artery was nicked and “she could have died,” says Tonya, who reminds Briana about Christy already “being dead to her.” Briana back peddles that she doesn’t want Christy dead, per se, but their friendship is dead forever. She also doesn’t think Christy’s health has anything to do with anything. She wasn’t her friend before the surgery, and she won’t be after. Even with an eyepatch on, Tonya is able to side eye this heifer. Alright. I’m just gonna come out and say it: Briana, you are immature, insecure, and thirsty. But most of all, you are downright despicable.

After Lila’s act, which included the liberal use of the “M” word (midget), Tonya and Briana take offense. They’re not here for that. Elena doesn’t have a problem with it – it’s comedy, after all. She does think Lila is maybe leaning on the word for shock value a bit too much though. When Lila comes out to thank the group for coming, Tonya immediately confronts her. Lila defends that she wants to take “ownership” of the word back, but the ladies don’t accept that answer. Thus, begins a brawl with the new girl that results in her crying (is she angling for a spot on this show!?).

Lila can’t believe the girls are going in hard on her like this. Um, she has obviously never watched LWLA. Through angry tears, Lila finally calms down and thanks the ladies for coming out to support her. HA! Because with support like this…who needs haters?

Speaking of haters, Elena snarks about Terra being less than supportive of her friends lately (um, pot: meet kettle). Then, we see Terra as she winds up her press tour in NYC after DWTS elimination. On the way home, she calls Tonya, who reminds Terra that what she accomplished was nothing short of amazing and that it opened a lot of doors for a lot of people. Terra cries that she forgets what reality is, but now she has to get back to it. Though she faced her fears, she knows there’s more growth in store for her when she gets home – with her family, with her friends, and with her health. She’s ready to begin.

TELL US: HAS DWTS CHANGED TERRA FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE? IS ELENA BEING A BAD FRIEND TO TERRA, OR JUST A REALIST? ARE BRIANA & MATT DELUSIONAL IN THEIR CAREER ASPIRATIONS?

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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