Day 13 on Celebrity Big Brother starts with Kim Woodburn “apologizing” to Chloe Ferry. This “apology” involves Kim implying Chloe’s a prostitute and telling her to go to a high class escort agency, rather than standing on a street corner asking for £20 for a bl*w job. I have heard better apologies. Somehow, Chloe takes it all within her stride and gives Kim a hug. I am not convinced she understood most of the words. Maybe someone will explain later.
Hell Housemates are back in purgatory for one final chance to win their place back in the house. It involves a quiz about non hell housemates. The person that gets the question right, gets to nominate another hell housemate to lose a life. If someone loses both lives, they will be banished back to hell and face an eviction later.
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Stacy Francis gets the first question and nominates Jasmine Waltz. Heidi and Spencer Pratt nominate James Cosmo. Calum Best chooses Speidi. Stacy chooses Jasmine again and she is now left in Hell and up for eviction. Coleen Nolan nominates Speidi and they also are out of the game. Stacy delivers a final killer vote to James C and he is the final housemate to be up for eviction. Stacy and Jasmine have a bicker until Coleen, Stacy, and Calum are allowed to return to the house.
Stacy didn’t even spread her votes out, she literally went for people with only one life left, which kinda leads you to wonder how sweet and light she actually is.
Living Housemates are gathered to learn they have the power to choose who is evicted through the side door. They discuss, quite brutally, the pros and cons of the housemates. It’s agreed that whilst James C is struggling in the house, they do want him to leave through the main door to the audience who is safe. Speidi actually have a good reputation within the house, and to be fair, they haven’t really lived up to the negative hype they have. Jasmine has a few fans, but a few enemies (Stacy) too, and it’s her that is chosen to leave.
They learn their fate by each having to open a door. If they face a brick wall they are not allowed to leave the house. If the door is open, they must leave the house. Speidi find out first and they are shocked that they are safe, and now, Jasmine knows the writing is on the wall. She walks through and doesn’t even say goodbye.
Back in the house, the housemates are discussing Jasmine. Kim says that should Jasmine re-enter the house, she would be gunning for Stacy, and she wouldn’t allow it. Nicola McLean points out that the rest of the housemates wouldn’t allow it either, and that Kim is not “The Protector.” Kim takes offense and goes off again. Someone please take out her batteries. This woman is 70-some years old, she should have learned some decorum by now. There’s been talk of whether she is playing a game and acting a part. I surely hope so. I dread to think that this is normal behavior for her.
Bianca Gascoigne stands up for Nicola, then Kim goes in on her. James tries to tell people not to react and says that Kim is merely trying to get more camera time. Kim starts on him. Chloe tries to reason with her, but Kim doesn’t seem to get that just because someone doesn’t share the same opinion as her, it doesn’t mean they’re “gang handling.” It might just mean you’re wrong, love. James knows that if he mentions anything to do with cleaning, Kim goes off the deep end, so he obviously mentions it as much as possible. For someone who’s famous for her cleaning programs, she’s not half sensitive about it. Maybe she should start with her mouth.
Hell housemates are returning back to the land of the living. They may have been better where they were. James C tells Jamie O’Hara that he was convinced he was leaving. Jamie tells him that James C is the one in the house with the most respect and everyone wanted him to stay. Speidi let James J know that Calum took things that were said personally and that he should have a word. Of course, they have not seen each other since Jedward stirred trouble and James J seems gobsmacked that there’s a problem.
Chloe has set her sights on Calum and tells Stacy and Heidi that he will ask her to be his girlfriend within the next couple of days. Both try to tell her it won’t happen, with Heidi even betting money against it, but Chloe is clearly a girl that’s not used to be told no (or saying it?) and takes the bet in her overly excited puppy manner. The girl just comes across bad and maybe she would be a bit easier to handle if she just calmed down a tad.
Jessica makes the mistake of telling Chloe that she fancies Calum as well. Chloe is not amused. Chloe talks to Speidi and Nicola, who tell her to just go for it. Speidi tell her that she just needs to turn up the heat a bit and he won’t say no. I’m not sure they actually believe that or they just need a bit of entertainment for the night. If this girl ran around the back garden naked in front of him, yelling “Come and get it Big Boy” she would not be any more obvious that she is already. Although, I’d hate to give her ideas. She’d probably think it’s a genius solution.
Calum’s in the garden, next to Jessica, so Chloe walks over and sits on his lap. The rest of the housemates all laugh. Jessica says she was there first. Calum plays along but does look a bit awkward. Jessica then drapes her leg over there and you can almost see Chloe’s head spin, Exorcist style. Almost as much as Nicola’s and Speidi’s as they try watch the show from inside the house. Things come to nothing and they all carry on drinking.
Later in the evening, Chloe is in the diary room talking about the conversation with Jessica, and how disrespectful and out of order it is that Jessica dares to fancy Calum. She comes out and it’s obvious there’s an issue between her and Jessica. Jessica later starts crying in the garden to Coleen, who explains that Calum isn’t interested in anyone in the house, and that he’ll flirt but that’s it. I think she’s telling the wrong person. I’m not sure Chloe isn’t going to start dry humping his leg like an over excited Jack Russell before the night is done.
Which brings us to the awkward moment of the series so far – Chloe, full of alcoholic confidence, seductively sits on Calum’s knee, draping herself over him, face inches from his. He (bless him) is being polite but is pulling his away. She goes closer, he turns a little, yet she moves in for the kiss. He pulls further away and tells her to go to bed. Still, she tries again. He gives her a quick peck and tells her to go. Calum eye-pleads at Nicola to help him. Chloe won’t let that stop her, she’s in full flow. She asks him to carry her to bed. He says no. This girl ain’t gonna get the message till he flees screaming. Perhaps James C can do his Lord Commander thing and stop her.
Kim’s in the garden talking about Chloe and calling her an abomination. James J uses it as an excuse to try and coach her how to talk or express her opinion without screaming. How to be politely rude. He should run a course.
Stacy, Jessica, and Chloe are in the bathroom discussing fancying Calum. It’s like being back at school. Except Chloe is up and down in a bra. She needs to put her bits away. Stacy tries to explain that whilst she’s said how good looking Calum is, and Jasmine said how good looking Calum is, and how everyone says how good looking Calum is, they don’t have a chance with him and there’s no point in falling out over him. Chloe takes this personally. She starts screaming and having a fit, telling Stacy she’s made her feel like sh*t and throwing stuff at walls. Big Brother intervenes, calling her to the diary room, and she walks off screaming at Jessica that she’s a two-faced b*tch. Wow. Way to play it cool.
Chloe kicks the diary room open, because obviously Calum will fall at her feet at her maturity. Calum has gotten out of bed and is in the garden. Not entirely sure how much he heard, but I’m guessing it won’t take long for all the gory details. He explains to Kim that he only flirts to be polite – he’s a people pleaser. I’m looking forward to the next episode to see how Chloe recovers from this one. Should be fun.
Photo Credit: Channel 5
AUTHOR – NICKI M.
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