Trouble in SURidise? Not for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz. They’re no Scheana Marie and Shay ready for divorce months after tying the knot on Vanderpump Rules. The never-before-happy couple now claims marriage has changed all that.
The cast recently attended a celebration for jewelry designer Kyle Chan where everyone reveled in romantic happiness. Who are these people??? What doppelgangers invaded SUR? Lisa Vanderpump…. are you out there?! Step away from the dogs for a second to save these people!
First, Katie and Tom and doing amazing! “Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest, but it’s been like 89 percent blissful,” shared Katie. Um… interesting math there, K-Hulk!
“We are madly in love. I feel like marriage really suits us,” she gushed. “We’ve been through so much, especially since last summer.” Did Tom 2 recently undergo a lobotomy?
RELATED – Tom, Katie, And Stassi Honeymoon In Bora Bora!
“It’s been smooth sailing,” Tom agreed. “We like to think that we exercised all the bad stuff. We got about 15 years worth of fighting out in about three years, so we’re good now. We’re not pretending that we’re perfect. We have our ups and downs, but for the most part—at least relatively speaking in comparison to our earlier relationship—it’s been blissful.”
Tom and Katie credit the prying eyes of cameras for helping them realize how f–ked up their relationship was.
“It’s the pressure to really not run from the issues and really have to face them,” Katie explained to E! News. “It’s cathartic in a lot of ways. I think having us put our stuff out there on the show, we can’t leave any questions unanswered or any rock unturned. We really have to explore it and dive in, and its scary to do that. But I think because we’ve had to do that that, we’ve been able to do a lot of work on ourselves and in our relationship.”
Despite barely settling her divorce from Shay, and then immediately jumping into the social media whoring arms of new man Robert Valetta, the ever-narcissistic Scheana Marie may be ready for another trip down the aisle. Kill me if I have to suffer through another one of her atrocious wedding get-ups! I haven’t even recovered from Katie’s human-sized doily and pantyhose contraption.
RELATED – Did Ariana Get A Secret Proposal For Her Birthday?
Jax Taylor joked that Scheana and Rob may be getting hitched sooner than we think. “According to her, they’re already married,” he teased. “I’m just kidding.” Or not…
“I’ve never been happier,” Scheana concurred. “We’re so in love.” As for Shay, that is like SOOOO in the past. Like so last season! Like OMG – it’s time for Scheana to focus on Scheana and how happy Scheana is. “We haven’t spoken at all, not since the reunion. I don’t have any ties to him anymore, so I just want him to be OK.” Cause like Scheana she is more than OK, because Rob, he’s like, “amazing!”
Brittany Cartwright hopes the next Pump Rules wedding will be hers. She’s planning away now that she’s snagged her Jax In The Box Prince Charming. Can you even imagine that wedding gown?! I have the vapors…
TELL US – DO YOU BELIEVE KATIE AND TOM ARE SO HAPPY? WHO WILL GET MARRIED NEXT: SCHEANA OR JAX AND BRITTANY?
[Photo Credit: Brian Baer/Bravo]
The post Tom Schwartz And Katie Maloney Say Marriage Is “89% Blissful!” Is Scheana Marie Ready To Tie The Knot Again? appeared first on Reality Tea.
It's not time to say goodbye to Sense8 just yet. In a surprising move, Netflix has ordered a two-hour standalone episode of the sci-fi drama created by Lana and Lilly Wachowski and J....
Winter is right around the corner. And with it comes war. With just a few short weeks left until the Game of Thrones season seven premiere, anticipation over the show's return has...Hell really has frozen over in Vermont since Bethenny Frankel invited Ramona Singer to the Vermont trip she hosted. So far, Ramona stayed out of the drama. The biggest issue she caused during the first episode of the trip was complaining about the room selection with Sonja Morgan.
Still, those two had nothing on Luann de Lesseps, who felt like she was entitled to some sort of bridal suite because she just got married. How does that make any sense? She only invited one of these women to her wedding and she already had numerous pre and post wedding parties. Now she wants a special room during a girls trip just because she got married. That doesn’t add up. The fuss around this wedding has gone overboard… a long time ago. Good for you, Lu, but let it go.
Instead of being elated that she was actually invited to Vermont, Ramona just said that she “only skis in Aspen,” which came off pretty bratty in all honesty. Ramona defended her comment in her Bravo blog entry, “When Luann brought it up to me, I did say I only ski in Aspen because that is where I have gone for many, many years and still go! But I was very excited to go to Vermont as it was a different place for me.” Sure.
Ramona didn’t care that the rest of the cast was annoyed by her and Sonja’s quest for the best room in the cabin. She wrote, “Get over it. The only thing for future trips is that we need to be the first to arrive (then no one has to be annoyed about our silliness).” Yes, that’s the solution. So much easier than checking your ego during a weekend trip to get the best bedroom.
Ramona said what everyone was thinking when Luann complained about her room in the basement: “Meanwhile, Luann felt that since she was a newlywed, she should get the best room? Not sure how that applies to this? Unless she thinks this would be her wedding gift from all of us who were not invited to her wedding?”
Finally Ramona addressed the Tipsy Girl story line that just won’t die. “All of this Tipsy Girl feels like Groundhog day… the conversation just keeps on repeating. Just to clarify this, Peter, who I was a partner with at AOA, offered me a contract with Tipsy Girl. I never signed it. I was not interested for many reasons. This is old news and needs to be dropped by everyone! I love Sonja, but sometimes she does get confused about the facts.”
TELL US – DID LUANN DESERVE A SPECIAL ROOM IN VERMONT? WOULD YOU INVEST IN TIPSY GIRL?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Ramona Singer Says She Was “Never Interested” In Tipsy Girl; Doesn’t Understand Why Luann de Lesseps Wanted A Special Room In Vermont appeared first on Reality Tea.
It seems like Gillian Anderson wants to believe...The X-Files would do better. According to TVLine, The X-Files writers room for the next batch of 10 episodes (season 11?), will consist...Like most viewers, I wasn’t thrilled when I heard that Real Housewives of Potomac was returning for a second season, but it’s definitely way better than most of us expected. But some of the ladies are trying way too hard to get screen time. Robyn Dixon has opened up about the difference between filming Season 1 and Season 2.
She even calls out costar Ashley Darby for stirring the pot this season in a quest to make the show more interesting. She explains how Karen Huger is acting differently after Season 1 and she reveals some shocking information about Juan Dixon’s family.
Robyn opened up to Kate Casey during her Reality Life With Kate Casey podcast. She explained, “Filming Season 1 was very surface level because they had to just introduce us and where this Potomac place is. Going into Season 2, we have pre-production meetings where they want to know what’s going on. It was very challenging for us to get out of the mode of Season 1 very surface level to Season 2.”
That all makes perfect sense, but I can’t help wondering who changed their behavior after watching herself on TV or based on fan feedback.
Robyn admitted, “I did see people change. I felt like Karen pulled back a lot in Season 2 because she got so much negative feedback for her personality in Season 1. I could see where it probably affected her a little bit. She wanted to change her role on the show.” And now she’s trying to be a mediator and trip hostess to detract from her mysterious real estate situation.
RELATED: Karen Huger Defends Ashley Darby’s Meddling
When it comes to herself, Robyn explained, “I personally realized I need to have more of an opinion. That for me was just a change or something I paid more attention to.”
Then it really got good when Robyn said what a lot of the viewers have been thinking: “It’s very interesting because I feel like someone like Ashley does things because we’re filming and had we not been filming, she wouldn’t have said or done some of the things that she did.” Maybe she’s trying to deflect from her own personal drama.
Robyn said, “For instance, coming to a party and spreading gossip. In real life, who does that? If you really cared about someone, you’re not going to come to a party and tell everyone at the party about this gossip that you heard. I just feel like you wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t filming a television show.”
Of course she wouldn’t, but she is filming a TV show, so she’s doing what she can to drum up a story line and make sure she gets time in front of the cameras. As annoying as it is for someone who considers Ashley a friend, it is pretty standard behavior for a reality TV cast member.
After dishing on her costars, Robyn revealed some crazy news about her current/ex Juan and his family. She told Kate, “Juan met his father for the first time. He thought his father was dead and he finds out the man that he thought was his father is not. He finds out his father is alive. We’ve just had so much crazy stuff. We missed all that for Season 2, but we will definitely talk about it for Season 3.”
That is definitely some unbelievable news to cope with. Damn.
TELL US – IS ASHLEY AUTHENTIC IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS OR DOES SHE TRY TOO HARD TO STIR THINGS UP? IS KAREN KEEPING IT REAL THIS SEASON?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
The post Robyn Dixon Thinks Ashley Darby Acts Differently In Front Of The Cameras; Juan Dixon Finds Out His Father Is Alive appeared first on Reality Tea.
After the best season ever of Real Housewives of New York, this current one is not living up to last year’s glory – other than Dorinda Medley who comes through in every single episode. She went off on Sonja Morgan during that “gangster lunch” in the Bronx and gave this season some much needed life. I had no idea what she was talking about when she kept saying “clip” over and over again, but she clarified on Watch What Happens Live.
Fredrik Eklund was also in the club house for a perfect crossover of New York Bravo shows – especially since he and Bethenny Frankel have their own real estate show in the works.
As expected, Andy Cohen ditched the drinking word and played Dorinda’s “clip” over and over again. So of course he asked her what she meant in that moment. Dorinda admitted, “I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted her to just clip it shut. She’s like a TV you can’t turn off so I was like ‘clip.’ Done.”
Fair enough. I don’t even care what Dorinda meant, I just wish I could personally thank her for gifting the fandom with that scene. It was much-needed this season.
Andy asked Frederik who will be investing the money during his show with Bethenny. Fredrik admitted, “We’re both investing. Millions of dollars of our own money, that’s the scary part.”
Then Dorinda was shown a clip of her going off on Luann de Lesseps during the next episode. Dorinda explained, “Relationships aren’t perfect. Sometimes you get this ‘I’m so perfect. I’m so perfect’ and I love Luann. I’m so happy she’s happy. I said it about John [Mahdessian]. I’m very honest about my relationship. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s terrible. The alcohol made me a little bit fed up. I’m sorry, Luann.”
RELATED: Bethenny Frankel Says Ramona Singer Lacks Class
I don’t blame her though, after a million and a half pre and post wedding celebrations and a year of Tom D’Agostino-focused conversation, Dorinda had to snap sooner or later.
After Ramona Singer’s appearance on Watch What Happens Live last week where she refused to take responsibility for trashing Dorinda’s home, Dorinda was asked if Ramona has ever apologized. Dorinda shared, “Privately she has. I think humility and a simple ‘I’m sorry’ goes a long way in life. I screwed up. I made a mistake. We’ve all been there. I didn’t like the fact that she poked fun at it. Even last week I got pissed off at it.” #TeamDorinda
Fredrik was asked, “Who is more difficult to work with: Bethenny or Ryan [Serhant]? Fredrik said, “I don’t really work with Ryan. Bethenny is very difficult. I love her. We’re friends. I have a lot of respect for her, but she’s really intense. I have a lot of fun with her, but she is like in my face, you know.”
When she was asked, “Did you ever ask John if he sent Sonja a text about Tipsy Girl?” Dorinda perfectly delivered some shade when she replied, “No because I don’t care.”
TELL US – IS LUANN TAKING THE TOM/WEDDING TALK TOO FAR? SHOULD RAMONA PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE FOR TRASHING DORINDA’S HOME?
Photo Credit: Instagram
The post Dorinda Medley Apologizes For Getting Fed Up With Luann de Lesseps; Still Upset About Ramona’s Antics In The Berkshires appeared first on Reality Tea.
Last night, Big Brother 19 started with a big bang. We saw everything from an early eviction to the return of a veteran. It was an exciting night filled with Big Brother temptations. If one night of Big Brother 19 wasn’t enough, CBS has a treat for you with two nights of it.
The first Big Brother 19 night gave you so much action and drama. It wasn’t a dull moment from the onset, with the start as we met the new Big Brother 19 cast to the introduction of the latest theme and twists. We expect the same excitement tonight with a more compact episode. Tonight’s one hour episode, airing at 9:00 PM/8:00 CST, should have even more to enjoy.
Now that the intensity of the first night has died down, we should start to see more of the Big Brother 19 houseguests personality. On the promotional video for the episode, we see a little bit of that with Dominique Cooper seemingly acting goofy with her fellow houseguests.
We also see a moment between Paul Abrahamian and Elena Davies that looks like they might be arguing. Yesterday, Rich Meehan and Allison Grodner did tease that a woman and a man would start arguing on the second day due to the temptations. It looks like Elena and Paul might be those two houseguests. Check out that promotional video below.
Besides the argument, viewers can expect to see the first Big Brother 19 head of household take his or her crown tonight. The first HOH usually gets a lot of power because people come to him or her to make early alliances and deals. There is also a rumor about Battle of the Block returning. Tonight’s episode should prove or disprove that rumor.
After the episode, the moment Big Brother 19 fans have been waiting for finally happens: the live feeds return. Around 1:00 AM EST, the Big Brother live feeds begin. If you’re thinking about signing up for CBS: All Access, make sure to use our affiliate link and get 1 week free.
The Big Brother season is in full effect and we couldn’t be more excited.
Join us tonight at 9:00 PM/8:00 PM CST for the Big Brother 19 second night premiere and recap. Then head to Twitter for live feed updates.
Keep it here all summer for Big Brother 19 news, spoilers, exclusives, and recaps! Make sure to subscribe to CBS: All Access to get your live feeds and enjoy more exclusive content. Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated on all the Big Brother 19 news!
Was the Pretty Little Liars truth out there this whole time? The Freeform series ended its seven-season run with no fewer than a gazillion twists, the biggest being the identity of A.D., the Uber...
Kristen Wiig showcased her dramatic acting skills Wednesday on an installment of the recurring, pseudo-improvised "Mad Lib Theater" segment on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,...Kenya Moore stepped out for the first time since her surprise wedding to Marc Daly. She hit up the Bossip on WEtv event and flashed her wedding ring on the red carpet – see the close-up pics in the gallery. Her Real Housewives of Atlanta co-stars, Sheree Whitfield and Cynthia Bailey were also at the event, along with Dr. Heavenly Kimes, Tiny Harris, Rasheeda and more!
The Vanderpump Rules crew headed to the Kyle Chan #LOVECAMPAIGN event at SUR. Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval, Jax Taylor, Brittany Cartwright, Katie Maloney, Tom Schwartz, and Scheana Marie were joined by their bosslady, Lisa Vanderpump. Looks like Katie and Scheana might be getting along again! Or at least able to stand and pose for a photo together. That’s progress.
Below we’ve also got pics of Karlie Redd, Towanda Braxton and more!
Photo Credit: Paras Griffin/WireImage/Getty
The post Hot Photos: Kenya Moore (And Her Wedding Ring), Rasheeda Frost, The Vanderpump Rules Cast And More appeared first on Reality Tea.
Are you ready to meet TV's new royal family? The first full trailer for Marvel's Inhumans is here and they're not your typical king and queen. In the trailer below, meet King...Do you have any antibacterial sanitizer left after using it to wipe your screen down last night while watching Little Women: LA? You might want to give it a second cleaning today just to be safe because Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] slimed that sh*t up something FIERCE. And no, I don’t own that word. Neither does Briana Renee, who needs to take a poll, phone a friend, and use her damn lifeline in order to get a single clue. Because she is not winning at this game.
In Alaska, we pick right up where we left off: with Briana confronting Matt about cheating, and him finally admitting it. Is he thrown off the boat, as he should be? No. He’s allowed to stand there and smirk like the d-bag he is, all the while trying to lay blame at Briana’s feet for tossing him out of the room the night before and threatening divorce. “You’re sick!” screams Briana, which is the understatement of the year.
Refusing to apologize, Briana threatens that their marriage is over. Even though we all know it’s not. But they’re not done airing their dirty laundry yet. Nah – everyone on this boat (and we poor suffering souls, the viewers) have to listen to Matt’s complaints that Briana doesn’t give him enough sex. OK. Recap’s over! I’m out. <playing taps>
Alright fine – we’ll do this together, people! But ugggghhhhh. This guy. Even Joe Gnoffo looks like he wants to disappear, and he usually lives for these moments. Elena Gant even gets into the mix, screaming that Matt’s a drunk a$$hole – which she’s seen evidence of herself, off camera! Then Matt stupidly defends that he didn’t kiss that random chick for that long! Christy McGinity begs Briana to walk away, telling her that she should just divorce this guy now so she doesn’t have to pay alimony. (WTF!?)
Matt doesn’t give a rip about what anyone says, claiming he doesn’t care about money (HA!). And he certainly doesn’t care about Briana. Terra Jole just wonders how Matt treats Briana behind closed doors if this is how he treats her in public? I for one don’t even want to imagine that mess. But their kids deserve better – and that’s the sickest element of this entire garbage situation.
After the sh*tstorm, the ladies gather in the back of the boat to regroup and support Briana. Knowing she won’t ever leave this dirtbag, they still try to persuade her to act differently this time. Terra doesn’t think Briana will ever be able to trust Matt, but Briana’s self esteem is so low, she might not even care. In the front of the boat, Matt spouts off to Joe and Todd about his many reasons for being Matt. Todd looks like he wants to puke in his purple face, which I totally can relate to. Elena just wants to get the hell of this boat, out of Alaska, and back to her babies. Because this place is whack! Even though Tonya Banks stupidly announces “We really accomplished something here!” What. The. Hell?
Back in their hotel room, Briana sits dead-eyed as Matt pretends to pack a bag. Turning things on herself, Briana admits she needs help. Then she begs for an apology again, which Matt argues he wasn’t going to give her in front of everyone! But now he is very, very sorry. So, okay? All good? Good. Suddenly Briana seems more concerned with her friends hearing about his cheating than the cheating itself, which is INSANE. She also blames the girls for their meddling, rather than her husband for being TOTAL scum. Then Matt demands that Briana come home with him because he doesn’t want to take care of the baby by himself! Of course Briana will agree. And with that, Bonnie and Clyde peace out back to the abysmal nightmare they call a marriage.
When Elena gets back home, she’s overjoyed to see her normal husband and sweet babies, confessing to Preston that the trip was friggin’ horrible. She also never got to deliver a piece of her mind to Terra, as planned. So now she’s got to find a moment to do it back in LA. She wants to throw a dinner for everyone soon to do the deed.
Jasmine Sorge and Chris are glad to be home with their kids too, getting ready for Chris to start his new job soon. Jasmine is also itching to confront Terra. She wants her to realize that dishing it out means you need to take it every once in a while too. Word.
As they shop for engagement rings, Tonya and Kerwin get some sticker shock at the $30K price of Tonya’s coveted 3-carat diamond. “You’re gonna be working!” jokes Tonya. But we all smell the fakery of this scene. Please. Tonya admits she does have cold feet about getting married, and just trying on rings is giving her the sweats. But when Kerwin promises to get her at least 2 carats, she seems fully recovered.
Out for ice cream, Jasmine confronts Terra about her behavior. After they discuss Briana’s delusional social media posts (24 hours after Matt’s cheating) about being “crazy in love!” they get down to business. Jasmine tells Terra that her mountain meltdown was out of control, and it’s not fair how Terra attacks everyone. Terra thinks Jasmine is mad at her on behalf of others – but what’s her personal issue with her? Jasmine defends that she’d just not okay with Terra’s behavior, especially when it comes to the Christy video. Terra agrees that she needs to talk to Christy, not just scream at her. And she admits the video took things to a bad level. But how she’ll backtrack from that mess is no easy feat.
At Matt and Briana’s house of horrors, they’re pretending everything’s fine. Therapy will fix them! And a spinoff show ain’t too shabby either, eh? Because that’s the deal they’ve obviously struck with Lifetime, as they’ll be appearing in Little Women: Couples Retreat this summer. Briana also whines that she doesn’t want to see the girls because they’ll just give her the third degree. Whah! Don’t they know that she and Matt are just CRAZY IN LOVE?! That they are RIDE OR DIE?! To all of this, I say: I have not even one gag left in me.
At dinner, Jasmine and Elena talk about how glad they are to be the hell out of Alaska, while Christy walks in with a whiteboard and marker as her communication tool for the night because she caught laryngitis! It might be a blessing, considering Terra wants “talk” to her tonight. Plus, it doesn’t take that long to write “Eff you!” with a sharpie. Tonya and Terra arrive next – Tonya confessing that Kerwin took her ring shopping. Jasmine just wants to know who’s going to be in the wedding? Because they need something new to fight about.
Terra asks Christy to chat outside. She brings up the police report again, then admits she only put the video on blast because Christy wouldn’t sign the release. Which, DUH. Christy tries to write something in her phone, but Terra’s blathering on too much to read it. So Christy just croaks, “That was my past! You had no right to show that video.” She’s sick of Terra playing victim, and she’s sick of living Groundhog Day every day with this chick.
Not getting what she wants, Terra snarks that she’s not sorry anyway – she just wants to “let it go.” Whatever that means. Exasperated, Christy just throws up her hands. There’s no winning with Terra – voice or no voice. So why even try? Literally fighting with only herself and her delusions of grandeur by the end, Terra finally screams at no one, “You’re such an IDIOT! GAH!!!!” Girlfriend needs to calm down. Go home. Go to bed. And wake up to reality.
All fired up, Terra moves back inside and on to the next fight! She recounts why Christy left (her very skewed version), then starts in with Elena, who calls Terra out for being a hypocritical instigator. She made Alaska a sh*tshow, she screams at whomever she wants whenever she wants, and takes no accountability for any of it. Elena asks why she can’t just be cordial with Christy? Instead of answering, Terra screams that Elena doesn’t like Christy either! But Elena does, and she thinks it’s ridiculous that everyone has to hate who Terra hates. Disgusted, Elena decides to leave too. She’s done trying to argue with a fool.
But Terra’s not done, following Elena out on to the street to stupidly accuse her, like a child, about liking Christy more than her. Elena can’t believe the level of maturity she has to deal with here – which is below kindergarten at this point. Insane with rage (as always) Terra turns it on Elena again, claiming that ever since her baby baptism they’ve had issues. Because Terra would be a fantastic godparent, right? <eye roll>
Elena’s so over Terra’s self pity, she can’t even stomach her crying. “I can’t stand your f**king fake tears anymore!” she shouts, leaving Terra to blubber on the street with her one remaining hostage friend, Tonya. The only friend she’ll possibly have left once this season is over. Because no one seems up for her schtick anymore – and her manic behavior seems to belie the fact that she’s seeing the writing on the wall.
TELL US: IS TERRA GOING TO END UP ALONE? WILL BRIANA TURN ON THE GROUP OVER MATT’S CHEATING, AS USUAL? WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO BE SUBJECTED TO MATT IN OUR LIVES?
Photo Credit: Lifetime
The post Little Women: LA Recap: Crazy In Love appeared first on Reality Tea.
There is so much to say about the clip of Dorinda Medley saying "CLIP!" on The Real Housewives of New York City. Where to begin? How about with Dorinda herself explaining where it came...Tinsley Mortimer’s been hanging around The Real Housewives Of New York for thirteen episodes, and all she has to show for it is some brown ice and a failed apartment hunt. But last night, the Bravo gods took pity/revenge on young Tinsley and threw her in the center of the drama. The true highlight, however, was Dorinda Medley putting her gangsta hat back on as she threw down with Sonja Morgan after Sonja accused her of secretly being involved in her doomed Tipsy Girl business venture last year! And I live all day, every day for Dorinda doing her weird-arm-angles-fingers-flying Back that sh*t up! rant in public.
We begin with Bethenny Frankel arriving at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx, where hopefully there’s a revolver duct taped to the toilet just in case. She wants the ladies (sans Ramona Singer) to get out of the city and experience carbs. Luann D’Agostino (are we officially calling her that now?), Carole Radziwill, Sonja, Dorinda, and Tinsley show up to take part in this social experiment. Because she’s always down for the cause, Dorinda even shows up already half in the bag.
Bethenny decides the group should go to Vermont, even Ramona. (!?!?) Dorinda ironically slurs that Ramona was just drunk in the Berkshires! But Bethenny doesn’t care. Ramona is dead to her. Plus, Ramona has ripped on everyone here (um, like Bethenny?), including Sonja about Tipsy Girl, when Ramona was in cahoots with the business first.
Sonja pipes up that Dorinda was interested in Tipsy Girl too – and she has the texts from John to prove it! Before Sonja can provide receipts, Dorinda goes full on Slurinda, ‘splaining that she doesn’t know what John does! She doesn’t live with that man! He’s not the boss of her! He just does her dry cleaning!
“I’m FREE!” shouts Dorinda, but Sonja doesn’t register the fact that this is a woman not to be messed with. Instead she repeats the Tipsy Girl charge and is told in response to “Back that sh*t up!” which at some point, I want to be personally told by Dorinda Medley too. I feel it’s a rite of passage, somehow. Then Dorinda moves to shouting “Clip! Cliiiiiiip!” complete with bizarre hand gestures, which by this morning has surely been turned into Twitter’s new favorite GIF. Even Bethenny wants to steal this strange, new Clip! (TM) burn.
The ladies, including Sonja, are cracking the eff up at Dorinda’s tirade. Because, well, it’s epic. “Is this what you meant by a ‘ganster’ lunch?” asks Carole, who by the way might want to rethink that turtleneck. After Dorinda backs her own sh*t up to the bathroom, she returns to slur-scuss the matter some more, at Sonja’s misguided prodding. Next stop on the drunken ramble train: tearful accusations! “I wash proud of you. I wash happy for you. Even after all the sh*t you shaid about me. I reshpect you!” bemoans Dorinda. But Sonja’s a$$ is just still burned about the Berkshires last year, which has gone way past pathetic and entered the official dead zone.
Also pathetic is the group’s attempt to apologize to the entire restaurant before they leave. As payback, one of the patrons tells Carole she looks just like Melania Trump! Then she goes for that bathroom gun after all. (KIDDING!)
Back in Manhattan, we are treated to a riveting installment of Tinsley Sees Her Therapist. Tinsley has issues with her (deceased) alcoholic father, bad dreams, and men. She feels like she’s been repeating the same pattern with men her whole life; i.e., choosing addicts and drama over stability. Plus, she’s still traumatized by her most recent abusive relationship, which resulted in an arrest for trespassing. She’s also still working at cleaning up her reputation. “I wanna feel like me again,” laments Tinsley. Her therapist wonders if she can work on becoming a new version of herself though, encouraging her to value herself. Because this is the most generic therapist ever, and we just really need this scene to end.
At lunch, Luann, Sonja, and Ramona gather to rehash the Bronx lunch. Luann also tells Ramona that she is reluctantly invited to Bethenny’s Vermont trip but her high ponytail is not. Ramona would rather ski in Aspen because she only likes the best of the best of the best! But Bravo cameras won’t be there, so puh-leez. She’ll bring her crazy eyes to Vermont, and she’ll shut up about it.
Sonja just hopes that she and Dorinda can get along on the trip. She’s considers Dorinda a new friend even though Luann insists they’ve all known her for ten years. Yeah but “It’s not like you had sex with the same guy!” says Sonja, who apparently counts that shared bond the true testament of friendship. Luann takes offense, of course, knowing that her hubby has slept/played board games (wink, wink) with every woman at this here table and demands an immediate apology! But Sonja is sick of apologizing over “just being herself,” so Luann decides to grab her fabulous coat and leave.
In Bethenny’s rented Vermont lodge, someone has ripped off the “NNYGIRL” off the enormous “SKI” sign over the bar, but Bethenny loves the place anyway. Carole and Dorinda arrive first, followed by a car full of clowns, plus their hostage – otherwise known as Ramona, Sonja, and Tinsley. Ramona has also texted Bethenny a rambling diatribe, which Bethenny calls a Tourettes-Apology, and which she has no intention of accepting.
Before they can begin this trip, Bethenny proposes resurrecting her Mexico trip from last year that was canceled due to health issues. So, that’s happening. What’s not happening is Dorinda changing underwear all weekend because she forgot all of her luggage back in the city! Hey Uber – do you drive clothes across state lines? Because Dorinda would like to make that a thing.
Hey wait – is that Dorinda’s luggage-Uber? No. It’s just Ramona screaming outside the cabin about having to drive FIVE HOURS to get here. As Tinsley walks in with her two crazy aunts, Bethenny escapes to the next room to talk to Bryn on the phone. Despite being distracted, she can still hear Ramona b*tching about only having Skinnygirl booze to drink at this place. LOL! (But why hasn’t Ramona bolted upstairs to snag her room yet? Her trip skills are obviously not on point due to Bethenny-induced anxiety.)
Okay, it was a slow start, but Ramona does finally make her move after five minutes of stalling. She and Sonja do their classic run through the house like bloated Shih-Tzus on crack looking for a puppy pad, finally claiming their shared cave for the weekend. But of course Ramona is still not satisfied because of some double sink/single sink nonsense. Dorinda, for one, doesn’t want to hear her obnoxious complaints. She just wants to spread food on her face in peace. She’s all, somebody get these broads a SANG-wich! CLIP! CLIP!
Luann would just like a nice glass of Cabernet, especially if she’s expected to play ping pong with Ramona. During their match, Ramona complains that Bethenny’s still holding a grudge agains’t her, which is crazy, rigggghhhhhht? Especially because she says, “I don’t have a malicious bone in my body!” (Flashback to Ramona relentlessly ripping Luann about her kids, her marriage, and her very existence for the past 10+ years.) There are not enough eye rolls on the planet for Luann to receive this level of delusion coming straight at her.
In the kitchen, Sonja admires the magical refrigerated beverages (and puts tap water in Ramona’s special bottle) while Tinsley and Bethenny have a chat. Tinsley says she’s boy crazy, while Bethenny is in a lull. She’s not with Dennis Shields anymore, and is ready to date again. Tinsley also wants to make her escape from Sonja’s boarding house, but she doesn’t get very far in her reasoning before dinner is served.
At dinner, Bethenny announces her Mexico trip. Luann doesn’t want to go because she came all the way here and she’s being forced to sleep in the basement! With a bathroom DOWN THE HALL! Bethenny rolls her eyes at the Dowager Countess’s litany of complaints. You can take the title away from the Countess, but you can’t remove the stick from her derriere.
Conversation turns to Tinsley, who everyone thinks should get married. Sonja thinks that dating a guy while shacking up with a friend is not a good look – even though Luann met her hubby doing just that. Hmmm. But Dorinda doesn’t think Sonja needs to be Tinsley’s handler, despite her self-appointed title. Then Luann hypocritically calls Tinsley out for being a “grown woman living in Sonja’s daughter’s room with the stuffed animals!” at which point Tinsley starts to tear up. Gawd. These women (minus Dorinda and Carole in this moment) are simply THE WORST.
Deciding that the pain isn’t ratcheted up enough yet, Sonja piles on that Tinsley should be looking for an apartment because she’s been living at her place rent-free for too long. Now feeling like a five-year old, Tinsley decides to list her complaints. She just came out of a terrible relationship, she’s 41-years old, not married, with no children – and she wants all of that, some day. She wants to be self-sufficient again too, but she’s in limbo right now. And she doesn’t need this table of walking bad decisions to advise her on life goals!
Ramona tries to play supportive friend (watch out, Tins!) by coming over to comfort her while Luann channels that dime store therapist, lamely encouraging her to “love herself.” Unraveling further, Tinsley screams that she’s just not OVER IT yet! So Bethenny decides this is a good time for some tough love. Which, um, it is decidedly not. She thinks Tinsley just needs to stay in Sonja’s house and abide by her tyrannical rules or “be a grown woman” and move out! She’s right, but her emotional intelligence of -100 leaves a lot to be desired in this particular delivery. OUCH.
Tinsley gets it, but the trauma from her abusive relationship haunts her. The women finally calm down, admitting that many of them have been there too – and Bethenny still is. With the fresh smell of a Housewife attack still lingering in the air, Ramona awkwardly jumps in with a toast to their friendship! Because she’s a giver, that one.
TELL US: SHOULD TINSLEY JUST ‘GET OVER IT’ – OR SHOULD THE LADIES BACK OFF? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF DORINDA’S RESTAURANT THROW DOWN? DOES SONJA OWE LUANN AN APOLOGY?
Photo Credit: Bravo
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